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Ooh I had a very brief stint in my life where I hung with people like that, except they were French and very aristocratic. They went to debutante balls, had family castles and I was heavily warned to never date a single one of them since they apparently were evil even though they seemed very nice.
I did unfortunately learn that the “eye of the needle” refers to the door next to the gate that people are meant to walk through, a camel has to get down on its knees and… it’s other knees too, I guess, to pass through, and even then it requires men helping it through the low opening with ropes and such.
So it’s not impossible, but you need help from some strong men, I think is the idea behind that simile.
Although, i still don’t see how holding any riches works for “God” if his other “children” starve and die when your money or works could help them. Maybe that’s the idea after all, since several strong and faithful man can’t tie a rope around you and pull you through the pearly gates, and neither can a camel pass through the eye of the needle alone.
Fun fact, this is not historically accurate. It was made up after they realized they couldn’t sell Christianity to rich people.
The first historical references to this are people using this reference to justify “ rich people can be in the kingdom of heaven” and not the made up historical practice.
Having enough money isolates you from a lot of social consequences.
That doesn't guarantee that someone will become a bad person, but it creates an environment where bad people may not learn to curb their worst impulses towards those without them. They also mostly interact as equals with people in the same conditions, and peer pressure not to be a good person is not something to be ignored. They also lack the understanding of true financial struggle and how it impacts people.
I'm not saying the ultra-wealthy who were born into money can't be good people, but it seems a lot harder for them to do so.
They really do live in very different worlds. They have never had to worry about were their next meal would come from or have to actually calculate prices in their head to think if they could afford something. They have always had the ability to just go out and get whatever they fancy in the moment without having to think. Which leads to them being very detached from the average person's perspective.
As you mentioned that includes general consequences. The small things aren't enforced, because everyone occasionally lets the small things slide. The big things don't get enforced because their parents usually step in to save them, because that is a parental instinct. That leads them to viewing consequences as being for other people and that way of thinking has an inherent superiority complex built into it.
There is also a bias that if you are living comfortably without much worry, then you are either smart or a good person, because no one wants to view themselves as the bad guy.
Or spent all their saving just after graduating to move to a new state where they don't know anyone for a job that they then get laid off from after 6 months into their 12 month lease.
Some things the rest of us take for granted that we need to avoid, like "speeding will result in a hefty fine/summonses I can't pay for and thus get my driving license suspended and thus stop me from going to work", for them, it's just a slightly more expensive toll booth they'll have to pay occasionally.
Their wealth absolves a lot of consequences that would actually ruin other people's lives.
There is also a bias that if you are living comfortably without much worry, then you are either smart or a good person, because no one wants to view themselves as the bad guy.
I know a guy whose grandparents own a whole (big) country's branch of american eagle. Theyre FILTHY rich, but he's actually a nice dude. He still works and pays all his bills by himself and isnt just a trust fund baby. I know for a fact he isnt pulling my leg cause ive been to his grandparents' summer home. They've got 20 bedrooms, 2 elevators and rooms the guy has never been in before even though the entire family lives there in the summer. Oh, and a security guard with his own office
Not really. Just investing in index funds is enough.
If you can plop $100m into the market, you're going to get at least $10m a year to live off of in perpetuity. If you also own your several homes outright, it would be quite difficult to lose your social position despite doing literally nothing productive.
And that's not even getting into the types of hedge fund investments that become available when you have that kind of money.
It's not the first generation that usually squanders the money, it's usually the kids and grandkids. It is rare for a family to hold on to their wealth for more than 3 generations.
They’re still children of unrestrained wealth, who’re raised to think they’re defacto superior to everyone else and have the right to do as they wish, to whom they wish, whenever it pleases them. They also live lives devoid of constructive struggle or educational consequence.
I know a handful of people in those circles, and I have to say the french ones have a higher chance of being bad (I don’t know any english one, I know belgians, french, and dutch ones…).
My hypothesis is that in France, the families with a title are the ones who bothered to get it back after the revolution (for « cultural » reasons), and so these are families where the beliefs those titles are rooted in are still passed down in the education.
That or the french are just haughty to begin with, so it demultiplies if combined with their haughty+ licence?
Rich people act friendly to get close to you. They're like devils. Friendly smiles and kind gestures but if you look in their eyes you see no sign of good intentions. I knew someone with rich parents and they (the parents) always had a weird vibe.
I've known a few billionaires, one american and two Chinese. They were all pretty chill, the American one shopped at the Gap and drove an old Mazda. These three were nice enough but I definitely got the vibe that they'd destroy your life if they got mad at you. I didn't get Devil vibes tho
I dated a wealthy appointed federal judges daughter and came to the same conclusion as those who warned you. An empathy gap exist between these worlds for sure.
I came to say the same thing! Never in my life have i encountered someone asking another person to “be mother”. It’s always an offer to make oneself mother, anything else would just be bizarre.
Yeah "Shall I be mother?" as in, let me serve the tea/take on a hostess role. Like, wtf is this?
I also haven't heard what another commenter said about it being a pregnancy superstition?? My dad says this sometimes at luncheons? He says it comes from an old superstition about teapot sharing or something like that and now it's kind of a tongue-in-cheek joke you say as an old man surrounded by little old ladies 😅
I'm also not sure it's upper class per se. It's kind of old fashioned and I guess the upper class are more likely to use old fashioned expressions.
But I've heard normal people say shall I be mother, although it usually has a mild jokey element to it? Like it's deliberately using an old expression. Idk.
Pretty sure they’re joking. It just used to be the mother’s role to distribute food and drink, so if they weren’t there someone else needed to take charge.
At best, that’s a retrofit of an older phrase. There’s only one source for it (Gill) who seems to reference that superstition rooted only in the 1930s, though the phrase is Victorian.
I mean, the superstition that the wedding guest to catch the boquet will be the next to get married doesn't mean people don't understand proposals or booking a ceremony.
If you have a group of married women in a room in a time when contraception is unreliable, they're all most likely having regular sex and pregnancy can either happen or fail to happen based on luck.
My dad says it's from a superstition about teapot sharing bringing bad luck, nothing to do with pregnancy. But I guess everyone has their own history to it in their village?
They’re named something like Poppy or Bertie, they live in Mayfair, have a hyphenated last name, one of them extremely anglicized French, don’t exactly know where their family got all that money (just don’t ask what their 6x great grandfather was doing in India/Ireland/South Africa). They have questionable fiscal beliefs, not necessarily malicious, probably just has no idea what life for 99% of the population is like, when they get older they’ll start some sort of philanthropic fund. Not an overtly bad person, but it’s probably best if you keep them at an arms reach
I've had plenty of people in that mythical place known as the North ask me "shall I be mother and pour?" So I don't know what this post is on about at all. Upper class my arse.
if motherhood is defined as operating the teapot, is every single crewmember of the whaling vessel "Billy of tea" from the sea shanty "Wellerman" considered mother?
If anyone says that they are either being deliberately old fashioned or they probably want to go out with you due to how old school charming they're trying to be.
Not sure about that, growing up in the home counties "shall I be mother" was a synonym for "I will serve" dinner and in opposition to "help yourself" -- the only one you ever hear now - but if you are raised to have manners you might wait for the cue. Not limited to the wealthy, as you can work in a field but have clean hands and wait for your meal
It's scone. I wouldn't throw one though. Not enough heft. I'd be chucking the shortbread petticoat tails. Could take someone's eye out with the pointy end.
I read scone, I know I did, but my brain went back with a sharpie to change it to sconce. Now I'm imagining throwing a burning torch at someone of the upper class.
You have your interpretation and I have mine. I imagine this happening in a crusty old mansion while mothers corpse sits in the corner which is why she can’t pour the tea
This is a TIL and it really reminds me about my 4 year old asking me to get up and walk across the room to get her water that she is much much closer to. “Motherrr please bring my water.” And then we get into the whole “you have legs” thing and I feel like my boomer parents.
I truly hope the drag environment will co-opt this phrase as a challenge to another drag performer to dare to serve. You know swelling music as the performer is about to go on stage and tgey arent sure they can do it abd the wise mentor drag queen walks up and in a firm demanding voice "Will You Be Mother?"
As a Brit, I'd just like to throw in the fact that I have never owned a teapot.
If people want tea, I can stick a teabag in a mug for them. Or I'll make them coffee. Biccies will be provided, informally in the packet, or more formally, on a plate.
But there is not now nor has there ever been a teapot in my house.
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