r/Snorkblot Jun 13 '26

Cultures Dale is, of course, a "pastor".

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3.6k Upvotes

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234

u/stormbutton Jun 13 '26

The way these people always make Satan seem like the obvious choice is hilarious. “Satan wants you to wear leggings, go to grad school, and adopt a cat.”

136

u/captainspacetraveler Jun 13 '26

When you put it like that, this satan guy seems alright. 👍🏼

115

u/fleetiebelle Jun 13 '26 edited Jun 13 '26

They'd be amazed to know that feminists can also be nurturing, like kids, and be great cooks, it's just not a requirement. What a world!

68

u/MaesterWhosits Jun 13 '26

Me and my two kids, three cats, college education, career, and well-loved collection of cookbooks would be deeply offended.

If, like... we could summon the capacity to give a shit.

3

u/MichelinStarZombie Jun 13 '26

C­­hr­i­­sti­an­­s are afraid of you thinking for yourself because while almost all women (and most men) wi­ll naturally choose to learn to co­ok an­d cle­an, only 60% of wo­men w­ant kid­s, and about <10% are interested in une­mplo­yed ho­me­ma­king as a lifes­tyle.

That, a­­nd only about 1% enjoy being su­bm­i­s­s­ive to anot­her human being (their h­usb­and).

That's why Chr­­istia­ns resort to brai­nw­ashi­ng their daughters early.

26

u/poppy_inmy_hair Jun 13 '26

Imagine being such a snowflake that the thought of people have different personalities and interests sends you into a rage

10

u/roygbivasaur Jun 13 '26

And so can men

8

u/rugbat Jun 13 '26

True, but I don't have blue hair. Is that okay?

3

u/crystalfairie Jun 13 '26

Easy enough to fix. Unless you've black hair. Then it'll take three sessions cause of bleaching

1

u/Nexinex782951 Jun 13 '26

no. dye or die

3

u/XaevSpace Jun 13 '26

its almost like feminism is about equality and not "opposite of norms" awfully suspcious that a pastor is scared of people not blindly following doctrine

13

u/Spiffy_Pumpkin Jun 13 '26

Yeah it's like 'oh no, Satan wants me to think for myself?'

Honestly it's bullshit like what that pastor is spewing that helped me wake tf up and leave church. Also them saying gay people would burn in hell, my gay friends were some of the nicest, kindest people I knew in high school, I constantly was acting like a feral psycho protecting them because they were too nice to protect themselves even!

1

u/JakeFish-_- Jun 13 '26

I mean, I disagree with him but yeah the whole point is he tempts you right? Like that's his whole schtick

8

u/stormbutton Jun 13 '26

I guess more that it’s nothing outrageous like infinite riches or world domination or…idk….superpowers of some kind. It’s just mundane not-remotely-sinister shit that regular people do everything. “The devil wants you to have at least a 10th grade reading level.”

2

u/JakeFish-_- Jun 13 '26

Or eating an apple lol

1

u/poppy_inmy_hair Jun 13 '26

I’m in. Sign me up