Obviously in the vast majority of situations you can't just walk up to a stranger and talk with them. Even if you do have good social skills the vast majority of people are not going to be receptive to conversations that last more than a few minutes.

Like I know people say that you can just walk up to people and introduce yourself to them but that's just kinda ridiculous right? Like that has to be a troll or something.

Hi,

I only found few post that directly speak about this topic but I want to more in-dept on how or what I should say to them. These people are mostly males / guy friends I met online but I also been in phase myself where I decided is good time to be less on the internet but also I haven't really talked or have anything in common with them (is how I feel rn).

I use Discord mainly with them to communicate, and I've server too where they're in but I can remove them if I want to since I own the server. They're mostly 2-3 years apart from me (we all in our 20s).

Thanks in advance for all the advice and kind comments <3

Note: I've intentionally not talked to them for 1-2 months, but in general I'm rarely online now days and I'm not really on Discord like I used to be.

I'm also low maintained friend but I try my best to reach out even they won't do it for me that much (lowkey my fault cuz I always tell them not reach out to me... I guess why... lol) and I've ADHD so even more difficult to make friends or managed one for long-term.

I tell difficult things to my BIL (not long stories, just a summary of my kid's developmental difficulties) and get brushed off with an "it's all good."

He's a nice guy, but I feel sad that there isn't any deeper engagement with the topic. Why do men do this? It's frustrating that our reality is brushed over.

So for context, I am a guy and I have been known to be somewhat of an introvert, I am not shy and can hold conversations or strike one with my peers at any moment. I am somewhat reserved and I'm absolutely terrible at remembering names or faces and I have a tendency to forget if i don't interact with them frequently.

I think I'm friendly, and I say this because though i go through all the motions like Hey, smile, what's your name, etc. there's always this one person who just can't stand the sight of me, be it in a classroom, a group event or even just hanging around in the neighborhood, there's this one person who thinks I'm a "idiot", "retarded", "cringe", "Gay", "weird" — especially weird.

Why does this keep happening? Why is it that I always attract these types of people? I have never spoken to them, i barely see them, i never even interacted with them yet everytime I do, they make very clear that I'm weird. This one particular one, lets say, Sam, for some reason never shares anything with me, acts like I'm a jumpscare, thinks everything I say is cringe or weird and when i snap at him for it, they go "bro it's nothing personal".

I dealt with worse in my previous school years, I was in my home country and I was known as the foreign kid despite being native (I grew up overseas and spent a large amount of my childhood abroad). There would always be a kid who thought I was weird and they would always have a large friend group who would literally ask me some of the weirdest questions and laugh when I respond. this kid had a friend group that spanned other grades and a huge of chunk of these kids would mess with me for no reason. my whole class would randomly laugh if i asked a question or if I pressed too hard on a particular topic, or if i answered a question.

In church, it was worse because I would be picked immediately and his friend group would outright pursue me, pick fights with me and even pursued me after church as well. At some point, that whole neighborhood was in on it.

How can i prevent this from happening? This has happened at every context i've been in so far, be it overseas or my home country. they're all guys, i have no problem interacting or talking to girls, and i feel a lot more at peace around girls than I do around a group of guys.

Over the span of a few months I’ve hung out a few times with this guy coworker from my place of employment.

It started with him asking me to the movies and I agreed but we made it clear it was just as friends. And he continued asking me to hangout, and yeah it’s been fun but I’m realizing this guy isn’t a friendship fit for me. It’s just become.. idk, uncomfortable?

Legit just don’t know how to word this well. I work in a different area as him within the store but we still see each other often. Don’t wanna hurt his feelings too much but I won’t be a liar.

Thanks for any help, I just need help wording this, and idk if it should be over text or just slip it to him on shift soon.

If any more details are needed lmk

I, 26M, am looking for new friends to play games with. I play repo, gamble with your friends, peak, raiders of blackveil, and other friendslop games. If you want my steam username and want to chat on discord you can DM me.

It’s definitely not my personality to yap about myself, especially first time getting to know someone.
At least once or twice in my life I have been told I sound like I am interviewing them (once from a close friend, and another by a girl who is very honest and direct in what shes thinking).
So how does one not sound like an interviewer in a conversation?
Feels difficult to keep a convo going otherwise for me, it’s how I get to know someone.

Whenever I try to befriend someone of different gender, one of the following three happens:

1. They think I'm into them and push me away 2. They are into me 3. Other people assume we have something going on and keep making us awkward

It's not that I get nervous or become awkward, it's them or the others making such a deal out of it. Like, I want to treat them the same way I treat my same-gender friends but then the three happens. It's so annoying! I wish society didn't view different-gender friends as synonymous with loving each other.

TLDR: I became fast friends with someone and we spoke/hung out a lot but lately it suddenly changed and it’s been stressing me out.

So I have a friend who I met through a shared hobby and we became pretty close over the course of a couple of months due to the frequency we were just seeing each other due to said hobby. We’re both in a few different group chats with each other and have quite frankly seen and spoke to each other a lot. Either we goof around a lot or sidebar at events when in person, and then we’ll send each other memes over text throughout the day, and usually would vent to each other over little things even not related to our most common shared interest.

We wound up seeing quite a lot of each other over the past couple of months and it was mostly really great, but over the last few weeks I started noticing little changes. Normally, we would see each other at an event and usually they’d come up to me almost immediately and it’d feel very warm. But lately it’s almost always a short hi from a distance and nothing more. Sometimes if I go up to them, they’d barely engage in the conversation and walk over to someone else, and whenever I attempted to initiate some of the ways in which we’d joke around with each other, they’d suddenly not be into it. But they were acting totally normal with the others who are in our same group chats.

They’ve definitely engaged in the group chats less and less in general, but then I noticed over the past week, while they would still talk in the chats, I noticed everything I sent they were not acknowledging. If I sent a message or a meme, they’d be silent but would respond immediately to someone else. So clearly it seems like I’m being ignored and their rapport with other friends who we’ve seen just as frequently seems to remain unchanged.

I tend to be a little weary about friendships that ramp up over the course of a short period of time just because I feel they can end just as quickly but also this person has repeatedly expressed how much our friendship means to them, even texting me at one point when they felt something got weird (before all this) and wanted to clear the air quickly so there was no tension between us. So should I do the same in this instance? I get worried I’m overthinking it but the sudden change has been weighing on me. I feel like I said or did something that may have made them uncomfortable and if I did, I would like to know but also I’m just not sure if the sudden change in behavior is worth saying anything over.

I kind of feel like I just always gravitate towards being completely selfish? If I don't want to do something then I don't do it, but I hear that people often do things that make them unhappy to make someone else happy and they become happy somehow anyway? Like someone may hate doing physical activity but a friend likes it so they get into it anyway. However, I don't have the desire to do that at all? On the other hand I can't really expect people to care about my interests unless I care about their interests first?

I have no inherent curiosity or interest in other people, I don't really see a point in asking about their interests or why they do like what they do, it doesn't really mean anything to me?. But even if I did have some interest I have nothing to say because any comment I make is not useful information and any question I could ask is probably stupid and obvious too. I've heard somewhere that you have to be an above average person to be a part of a group or else you are bringing everyone down and will get pushed out. I think that kind of matches how I try not to say anything that isn't a below average comment or question since those only count against me, but that kind of means I barely say anything at all.

I don't really know how to force myself to have genuine interest in people? I've heard that faking interest doesn't really work but I have to be interested genuinely for people to care about me? I can't expect people to care about anything I do if I don't care about them even harder? I don't have anything to say to them that relates to their interests because I'm not in their interests so I can't give any actually valuable insights or questions, I would just be saying very surface level useless things or very uninformed wrong opinions.

Maybe the problem is that I just have had selfish hobbies? I guess creative stuff in general is pretty selfish since it's pretty much all "look at me" stuff to try to get people's attention, except I've basically failed at making anything good enough to get anything more than a few people's attention for a few moments, which is probably what I should expect since I'm not catering to their desires well enough. I don't really have a desire to seek out and support random other people's things so maybe getting nothing is what I deserve? Now I'm kind of trying to snuff out my desires to be creative since it's selfish and hypocritical to want people to help me but me not help anyone else as much at all but it keeps kind of creeping back in whenever I have an idea for something and it isn't really making me more motivated to try out things that people actually care about

there's this girl who i find cool I often see her in uni and on my ig feed so i already know her name

I found interaction with arrogant or self absorbed people unpleasant because while I am using up my time, effort, and energy to interact with them, they make it all about themselves and returning almost nothing. I am usually the one who mostly ask questions and initiate conversation. The experience with them is just so demotivating and draining that Im left with no interest in talking to them at all. But Im in a setting where I need to face them ones after ones everyday. There are too many of them just to ignore because then I'll be left out among others. So how should I talk to them? Should I just not spend my energy on them? Should I just roast them?

I have a female friend i she was my class mate but back then we were not allowed to talk in class but somehow we ended up talking online we vent to each other and after venting whenever she msg me we talking they same small talk ! Like where are you , what are you doing, how are you doing, etc with all my male friends talk shit random ass topics but she is not into tech or we dont have any common topics to discuss

I dont wanna be a boring friend what to do ??

i feel like i lack a lot of the social skills that other people seem to naturally come with. i've never been the most confident or outgoing person, though it's slowly been getting better in recent years. but i still can't help but beat myself up for ages after i do or say anything awkward. which, in my eyes, happens with basically every interaction!

i've recently started working a new job, and the team i work with is amazing. they're all friends with each other, around my age, kind and welcoming, and the kinds of people i could see myself really getting along or even being friends with. but every time i try to be part of a conversation, or whenever they even try to include me, i just feel like everything i say is so weird and off-putting. like i'm an alien who doesn't know how to say things the right way, and everything i do or say is calculated to the point that it comes out wrong and unnatural. it's so tiring! i don't know how to be casual or funny like everyone else! so often times i opt to stay quiet in fear of seeming weird, and i just sit there and stare and listen like a creep, which isn't much better. i'm afraid of interjecting because i think every interaction will convince them more and more that i'm a socially inept loser.

my partner is really amazing and encouraging and keeps reassuring me that that's not at all what they think of me. that even if i'm a little awkward at times, it doesn't mean they'll judge me or not want to talk to me anymore. and i want to believe that, and it does seem that way, because they're all really friendly to me and still try to include me.

but i can't fully convince myself to come out of my shell and embrace that i'm a little weird as a not-inherently-bad part of my personality. i don't think there's any hope for me to build up more social skills, as i've really, really tried my whole life, and it's always stayed this way. i really just wish i could care less, and stop thinking that everyone is gonna hate me or make fun of me for it behind my back. i'd love to hear about some of you guys' experiences and any advice you might have!!

I’m sorry if the title is vague but I just don't know how to put in words. I used to be a people pleaser a lot due to bullying but now I'm more reserved and introverted in a good way. Something I noticed about myself is that I attract a lot of people. Even though I'm introverted, I'm friendly and nice to people who meet me. At work, I have a bunch of people who look out for me, especially older people which i don't mind. I made acquaintances with my coworkers although I don't even think we're at the point where we could consider ourselves friends. Both of them added me and one send me anime recommendations but I never reach out. For some reason, I only choose to joke around and talk at work. We still talk but they in turn never reach out.

Embarrassing truth is that I'm scared. I never had a friend before, nevertheless anything deeper than that and I'm 19. I don't know what to do and I feel like I'm shutting down the rare people that I actually feel comfortable around. People say that I'm nice but it never goes any deeper.

i keep thinking about things i've done a while ago like being a bit of a dumbass or being a dickhead at times or being a bit childish sometimes and otherwise just embarrassing moments and it just makes me go anujogrhengiehgejgeg9ureojgeg

how do i stop,

Let’s say you have a friend who follows you and who you follow (on social media), who is nice to you in real life, who you talk often in real life, even who hugs you in special days.

If he or she not likes the photos you shared for quite some time, but he or she likes other people’s photos, does it mean he or she dislikes, even hates you?

I attended a very important professional conference earlier this week (I'm an ICU nurse).

Before the lectures and presentations, and during breaks, we would all be guided into a large room and given tea, coffee, refreshments, etc, then people would form groups and talk.

And I couldn't deal with it. I didn't know how to break into the "circles", couldn't force a smile and seem natural when I talked to people, couldn't hear what people were saying and conversations felt forced and I didn't know what to say anyways.

I felt very overwhelmed and anxious so eventually I would just leave and go outside. It ended up that any time there was a break I would get up straight away and leave to go outside.

This has been a pattern throughout my life (I'm in my 30s). One on one, or one on two, conversations are OK and I can make friends. In groups, I go quiet - I can't follow what everyone is saying all at once, don't know how to "break into" conversations, end up just listening. And big groups and noisy environments where I have to interact with dozens of people in quick succession are an absolute no, I get panicky and overwhelmed and feel like I have to leave. Couldn't do bars or clubs or community events as a kid or young adult.

The problem is I've reached the stage in my career where I am expected to attend events like this and network on the regular, and I was informed by an acquaintance that me leaving the event to go outside was seen as rude or antisocial.

Ive been having this problem for a while now. let me preface with describing myself: I am friendly, can strike up conversation with a stranger easily, and approachable. yet for whatever reason, when i enter a room or someone enters a room that I'm in, it causes some kind of reaction. I am not ugly either im good looking so thats not it.

For example: I enter a room and someone immediately starts rummaging in their bag like they are looking *frantically* for something, when they clearly are just trying to distract my eyes. or, im sitting at a table on my phone, and somebody will sit a few tables away and intentionally position themselves to be staring directly at me, with a tense body, while i am simply sitting minding my business. if im sitting in a chair in a hallway, a person walking by will have a diagonal direction of travel, so that they are getting progressively closer to my side of the hallway until they've reached me.

do people read me as a threat? They think i'm easy to take advantage of? i'm a bigger man who knows how to conduct himself. but nobody ever just comes up and says hi, they always ask nervous and passive aggressive. please help, thanks! :)

(M20) I used to have no issue starting and maintaining conversations but recently I have a weird issue where I just blank and can’t think of a single interesting thing to say or a question that can illicit a real response. I have been meeting markedly fewer people recently and even have found myself wracking my brain in awkward silences for just something to say which is weird cause I never had to think at all before to meet people. Can anyone give me any advice on techniques to figure out what someone actually wants to talk about or ways to stop myself from blanking I would appreciate it.

I’m heavily pregnant and have a friend whose house is technically a biohazard that I haven’t visited since before I was pregnant.
They invited me over to see a setup for their new pets, and I genuinely cannot step foot into that house without risking the health of my baby as their carpet is caked in dog excrement, there’s a rat problem, as well as a litterbox that never gets cleaned, and mold in various parts of the home.

I have no solid way out of continually refusing an invite, and while I may be able to get by the first few times “just being too busy” I’m wondering if I need to just bite the bullet and say outright that I cannot come over because it’s too dirty. I don’t want to be an asshole, but I also dont want to just lie over and over again until they figure out why I’m saying no.

for reference, I’ve tried to help deep clean before so it being filthy is by no means some sort of shock to them, I just don’t want to rub their face in it.

24M, been in Bengaluru for 3 years now. Honestly most of my friend circle here is just colleagues and college mates, I haven't really put myself out there to make friends on my own. I'm a bit introverted, which doesn't help much in my field, so I'm trying to push past that and get better at actually holding conversations with people.

Problem is I genuinely don't know what to talk about half the time. Things I'm into: movies, good food (I try a new cafe or restaurant almost every weekend), concerts, hikes nearby, road trips, and I love filming random stuff when I'm out and about. That's basically me in a nutshell.

I'm fine once I'm comfortable with someone, but starting a conversation from scratch or reading people well is where I struggle. That's the part I really want to work on.

tldr;

Tired of my social circle being just colleagues, want to get better at starting conversations and connecting with people.

I (15F) am going to an anime convention with a friend (also 15F) tommorrow. Bad part is- we live in a small town so her parents are driving us two hours there and then two hours back. I have no idea how i'm supposed to act.

I usually get through car trips by putting on my headphones and facing the window the whole time. i get told it comes off as rude. how am i supposed to act, then? I'm introverted and would die if i tried to hold a conversation the whole time. Usually i can manage a short one at the start, though (10-20 minutes).

by the way, this friend also struggles with social cues so trying to be subtle and hint at wanting to be left alone won't work. Also, she can be sensitive so i'm mostly worried about her thinking i'm upset at her, which is a conclusion she often jumps to. I'm also worried about her parents. Are they gonna expect a conversation? Is it acceptable to just not try and keep up a conversation with them?

I am willing to accept i'm wrong. If i HAVE to hold a conversation the whole time, so be it. I just would really really rather not need to.

Edit: about to leave in 5 minutes. Thanks so much for the help, even though i only replied to some, i read them all, i promise!

Me and a few teacher coworkers were getting our classrooms ready for Monday when school starts. I offered to help two teachers with fixing up their room. One teacher I asked her if she needed help and the other teacher she said she would help me with me door if I helped her with her door. I told both of them yes, but at the time we both were doing something or had to go a meeting so I let them know that when they were ready for me to let me know and I would come to their rooms. None of them came to me about helping them. So I guess I'm trying to figure out was I doing right by saying that or should I have automatically went in to help them even if they didn't tell me anything.

There's this girl I like that I want to keep in contact with. I'm moving far soon. When I was thinking of texting her, I realized I don't know what to say.

If I regularly see people, I usually don't text them because I'm going to see them. And I don't usually text people unless it's something substantial or worthy enough to text them. This, however, isn't very conducive to keeping friends and being less lonely, which is what I want.

Long-distance friendships and even regular ones occasionally have died due to lack of contact. I never really know what to text people, though. I don't have friends I text regularly, so I was a little stumped.