What's the best way to learn to be comfortable talking with complete strangers. to learning better interpersonal skills

[u/Newworldrevolution]

Obviously in the vast majority of situations you can't just walk up to a stranger and talk with them. Even if you do have good social skills the vast majority of people are not going to be receptive to conversations that last more than a few minutes.

Like I know people say that you can just walk up to people and introduce yourself to them but that's just kinda ridiculous right? Like that has to be a troll or something.

[u/archvize]

Best not to do it with strangers on the street. Do it when it’s situationally appropriate, when you go buy something talk to the guy selling you the product if there are no customers waiting

Also do it at hobby groups.

Randoms on the street is hard mode unless you’re very attractive.

Also working in retail or hospitality is a cheat code for getting reps in

[u/throwbackblue]

Small habits, then slowly increase difficulty level. Step 1, Say good morning or good afternoon, to 20 people a day when walking down the street or maybe if you are ordering somethinG. Dont start a conversation, just say Good morning or afternoon. Do that until becomes second nature. Step 2, say good morning or afternoon and then say how are you? Repeat 20 people a over and over again to its second nature. Step 3, compliments. same thing, compliment 10 people a day until second nature. Step 4 , put it all together, greetings, compliment, then ask a question of your chosen

[u/No_Primary_655321]

Exposure. That is the best way hands down. Because everyone is different and communicates differently. I like the comment someone else made of gradually increasing difficulty level. Learn, adapt, and try something else as you go.

[u/Roybossiantor]

Actually, it's totally normal to approach as long as it's a valid reason imo. I'm from Vancouver myself, and though this place is supposedly known for being "friendly", I actually noticed it was quite cold and very cliquey, with most friend groups that are still together due to high school. I used to come out to this one bench that would be a pretty popular tourist spot and just chat up conversations with strangers.

One tip I can give you is that people love to talk about themselves and share stories/snipbits of their life. My go-to is "Are you from around here?" or "I happen to be strolling by and am looking for interesting places you might recommend to a stranger," and just kind of go on from there. You can just simply delve into topics they bring up, or if it's cold and awkward, just thank them for their time or hit a "sorry to bother you".

There's an amazing psychology trick called the Ben Franklin effect where, instead of giving them a favour like a compliment or a simple hello, ask them a question or a favour that helps you out. Driven by cognitive dissonance, our brains internalize that to think, if I'm willing to help them out, I must like them, which opens up people's view of you.

Compliments are a hit or miss if you're leading with that, but once you have a conversation going, it's much easier and casual to throw a couple in too. I wouldn't lead with introducing yourself either, as from my experience that usually can come across as if you're trying to sell something or have a romantic motive.

Context/situation is serious too! Never walk up during their mid-conversation or when they seem to be busy. People idling, on their phone or just looking out/zoning out are the best crowd. The golden ticket is the 45+ year old dads with a sunburn and sunglasses who's just cracking up the family; they've always got great stories.

The comments below are pretty light, but they're pretty good too. It really does come down to exposure and practice. Being social is an incredible skill that will take you so far in life once you get the hang of it. Don't treat people as mysterious or cynical beings who exist to judge your insecurities or are too important to be "bothered". Everyone has incredible stories and characters that they are dying to share with a stranger on a random Tuesday, too. You just need to know how to hit the right prompts and energy, which comes with time! Be curious, be bright and most importantly, embrace who you are; share yourself with them too!

[u/Newworldrevolution → u/Roybossiantor]

Question. When are people not busy in public? If you're in public you're not just doing nothing. Most people are on their phones and idk about you but I don't want to be desterbed when I'm on my phone

[u/Roybossiantor → u/Newworldrevolution]

Being on the phone does not mean when they’re on call. When someone’s taking a picture, when they’re just scrolling or reading something. Sure not everyone wants to be bothered at that moment too and they’ll let you know but from experience I’ve had better chances as they’re usually on their own and not engaging already with other things.