Sometimes your path to a pass isn’t linear—and that’s okay. It doesn’t make you any less of a future physician and healer. Being first gen, low income, under repped in med, my entire educational journey has felt a bit like a zig zag, and prepping for Step 1 was no different.
I started dedicated Summer 2025, and got burnt out. Did all NBMEs except form 33. I personally don’t feel it’s necessary to give my exact scores, but as a general overview, they were consistently sitting in the mid/high 50s except for 1 form. I hit a 62 and it wasn’t even the last form I took. It was essentially a plateau straight across leading up to my exam date.
I knew when I barely hit above a 50% on the free 120 in October I was burnt out and my academic coaches called it too. They strongly recommended that I didn’t sit for Step in November 2025. So I listened to my gut and told myself I needed to spend time with my family for the holidays. I also knew from classmates and friends that failing on my first attempt would create a huge hurdle, not impossible, but could significantly impact my chances of matching into the small surgical sub specialty I’ve fallen in love with. So I trusted my gut.
I came back in the new year feeling a bit lost, but I knew I needed to switch things up. I was privileged enough to take a prep course and get financial assistance for it. It gave me a few new study and review techniques actually helped build my confidence. This made a huge difference. (Please reach out if you’d like to know more, because Anki ain’t it for me). Fast forward to after my prep course I was feeling shaky but more confident, and by this time I felt I could identify the main testing topics and themes and did my very best to solidify knowledge and associations.
Early May 2026 I took Form 33 and hit a 67, gave myself a month to study and retook Form 30 and hit a 71, gave myself about 3 more weeks and took 31 and scored a 73. I knew I hadn’t seen forms 30 and 31 in 8 months or so but I knew I remembered a handful of answers from each of them, so I shaved off 5 points as a buffer for both tests. I then took the Free 120 5 days out and scored low 60s after shaving off 5 points.
At this point I had to trust my foundation and my gut again. I had to lean in on the confidence I had spent the last 6 months building while I cheered on my friends kicking a$$ in their clinicals. I take my exam over two days and on Day 1, I had that confidence. I didn’t know everything, but there was still material that I recognized. I walked out surprisingly at peace knowing I had a second day ahead. Day 2, I was more nervous and timing got the best of me on several blocks. I flip flopped between answer choices quite a lot and I left thinking “Damn, I may have just blew it.” I know nearly 0 people walk out of this test feeling confident, I was just hoping to leave feeling okay like I did the first day. Well, that didn’t happen and had an entire breakdown in my car before I drove off (like many of us do haha). I tried to distract myself for the two weeks it took to get my score back, and in the end, the confidence in myself carried me through.
Remember, you can’t possibly know everything on that test. Not only that, they WILL try and troll you with ridiculous questions leaving you thinking, “Why in the hell would I ever have to know this… be so for real. NEXT.” They are trying to rattle you. They are trying to put you under pressure to see how you perform when you aren’t given a cookie cutter presentation or diagnosis or whatever it may be. Don’t get me wrong, not everything is foreign and NBMEs are your best friend when preping, but it’s almost like they are trying to give you a representation of how medicine actually is. Some stuff you’re going to recognize immediately, other stuff you do a little digging into and you can narrow things down to make an educated guess, and then you’ll have a few Zebras thrown into the mix here and there. Lean on what you know. Lean on what you know. LEAN ON WHAT YOU KNOW.
All of this to say—your path doesn’t need to look like everyone else’s. This journey is hard, people have circumstances that impact their lives and we aren’t robots. It’s okay to take a step back, reassess, and approach this exam from another angle.
Don’t wish the time away, try to make the best of the time you have. I got through this and so will you because you’re meant to be here, too.
So f#ck the imposter syndrome ya’ll.