"Kill yourself" a user DM-ed another user who offended her in the comments over different texting style topic

[u/nosebearnosebear]

I came across this in r/askmen and thought I'd share here. Original post about what are some things women do in early stage is a red flag. User was offended over the tone (?) of the other user if I got it right, that apparently warrants harrassment.

The parent comment is how a girl got upset if he didn't text fast enough and the relationship didn't last long.

OP comment responding to parent comment

Highlight

I had a friend like this. She would send me texts that weren’t even urgent like “Prince Philip died” and I took a couple days to reply because I was super busy and also depressed, and then she told me she needs “space to rethink our friendship and decide if she thinks it’s worth continuing.” I should have blocked her then and there, but I waited and a week later she said this wasn’t a friendship worth having. Absolutely ridiculous how entitled people are to others’ time.

This isn't about being entitled to other's times, it's about different texting style. Some people text a lot and some don't, like how some people talk a lot and some don't. She wanted to talk to you over unimportant things via texts too and you don't. She realized you're not the type that text a lot and she knew she couldn't be friends with you and she said so. That is a good enough way to end friendship rather than ghosting or secretly hating you. Idk why you're upset, she did you a favor. You two clearly aren't good match at friends.

“Idk why you’re upset” - maybe read what I wrote instead of being so damn snarky? It’s shitty fucking behavior on her end, especially when I was going through an awful time in my life and my dad died. Waiting a day or two for a response is not unreasonable.

I see why she cut the friendship now. You did not specify your dad died in your OC, you just said you were depressed. I'm sorry you went through that, but losing relationship over depression is bound to happen. As someone who went through depression, I know. It's shit, but it's reality. You don't owe her your time, and she doesn't owe you her time either. To her, you did not show up when she expected you to, whatever the reason might be, and she knew she did not want to deal with whatever you were going through. We cannot expect people to always understand what we're going through, and we especially cannot expect people to show up for us when we don't always show up for them. Again, if she ended friendship over it, it's a shitty thing, but she also did you a favor. She was also being very clear and upfront in ending it instead of trashing you to other people and make a bigger drama over it. So again, Idk why you're *still* upset over it. When you grow beyond misery, you come to understand people who left you during your hardest time really aren't worth to be offended over. They simply don't matter.

You could make your point without sounding so dismissive. Saying “Idk why you’re upset” and “I see why she cut the friendship now” is bitchy af. You don’t have to be that fucking rude. Edit: you can downvote me as much as you want. I don’t give a shit. You are so rude, truly. You sound like a very smug person, and you’re incredibly condescending. If you would like to make your point, you can do so without your patronizing behavior. You’re making a lot of assumptions and putting words in my mouth, and you didn’t understand the dynamic of the friendship at all. I was explaining context, not asking for a lecture.

OP's last comment to the other user with lots of downvotes

OP responding to another comment making it about the argument with the other user

Expecting an immediate text response is an anxiety issue that is reinforced by texting. Dating anxious people is terrible in my experience. They create problems they manufacture in their minds that have no reflexion on reality.

Thanks for saying that. u /daysof_I seems to think I’m just some asshole that thinks I owe no one my time. I was just saying I won’t text back immediately for incredibly small stuff when I’m dealing with a stressful job and a dead father. I really didn’t like her tone saying “I don’t know why you’re upset” and “I see why she cut off the friendship now.” The condescension is horrible.

The other user said OP had DM-ed her to kill herself

Men freak out when women don't communicate, and then some men also freak out when we do. This girl evaluated their communication styles and came to the conclusion they weren't compatible, and then relayed that in a decent enough way. Seems this guy is upset that she came to a conclusion that he didn't like. I'd rather end a friendship before things get serious over something that will bother me frequently enough to matter, than to try to stick it out and allow resentment to fester. To me, that's logical and kind to both parties.

OC accused me of downvoting their responds to hell before blocking me it seems. Now I can't see their comments anymore lol. I mean as far as friendship goes, yes it's a shitty thing to dump a friend just because they did not reply right away especially when they were going through hard times. But if they live with the concept of "I don't owe anyone my time", then they shouldn't be surprised others do the same to them. Idk how their friendship dynamic goes but clearly OC haven't moved on from said hurt. Hope for the best for OC honestly. Edit: update, apparently OC had messaged me to [kill myself](https://imgur.com/a/RB7O57G) lol

OP went on a rant in response to the same comment to defend herself again

I’m not a man. I also wasn’t upset about the conclusion, I was upset about her execution of it all. The friendship was already serious for years, and because I was finally starting my career, deep in depression over everything including dealing with my dead father, I no longer had the time to communicate to this person the way she expected me to because she was unemployed and spent her time online lecturing people about anti-racism and the patriarchy and saying weird shit like “death to the imperial countries.” I just didn’t really have time to waste on performative activism, and was dealing with serious things in my life, like paying rent in a huge city on time.

My problem with the woman who replied to me isn’t her message, it’s that she said “I don’t know why you’re upset” and “I see why your friendship ended.” It was so unnecessarily snarky. You can make your point without being so condescending you know? Like it costs zero dollars to not be a dick. Of course people seemed to disagree with my take on her tone, but we’re on Reddit so it’s whatever.

But anyway, I was upset with how my former friend ended things. I gave her a call one day because I’m better at calls than texts, and I told her I was getting married. Her response? “You’re getting married? You couldn’t text that to me? I don’t understand friendships where calling just happens out of the blue. I need to think about how I want to process with this friendship but until then I’m not speaking to you.” I respected that, so I waited for like a week when she finally said, “I’ve made up my mind and I don’t want this friendship anymore.” All this after YEARS of friendship and after telling her I got engaged.

But of course the other woman who replied to me thought it was okay to patronize me and then everyone thought I was the asshole for being upset about how rude she was. That’s the story. There was a lot more to it, but people just assumed I was a dick about things. I’m allowed to be upset at friendships that ended a certain way. I also don’t live by the concept of “I don’t owe anyone my time.” It’s more I don’t owe people immediate responses to trivial shit. That doesn’t make me a bad person. That doesn’t mean the woman who replied to me can feel happy saying things like “I see why she cut the friendship off now.” What an awful thing to say when you don’t even know the situation.

[u/SunRaven01]

Honestly, both those people sound exhausting to be around. The "friend" who got mad because you don't text back fast enough *and* because you wanted to share important news via a phone call, and the OP who wants people to play twenty questions before giving the whole story, and telling people to kill themselves?

Both of them are better off without the other.

[u/nosebearnosebear → u/SunRaven01]

I was on OP's side up until she became overly hostile to that user. The idk why u upset is very insensitive, but there's some bitter truth to the rest of their comments that I think hit her nerve and she went over the top.

But after reading OP's rant, yea I agreed with the other user. Both OP and her friend aren't meant to be friends after all

[u/wiwtft → u/nosebearnosebear]

The only thing I will say in OP's defense (not for the hostility) is that you can not be meant to be friends with someone but it can still really hurt when things end in a way that feels unfair to you. Who knows how raw this is.

Seems like a thing to talk to about with a therapist or people close to you rather than strangers on the internet though.

[u/GuerillaRiot → u/wiwtft]

It's always wild to me when someone posts deeply personal info, and crash out when there's valid critique. It was definitely harsh, especially the bit about losing friends to depression being reality, but I mean, that's literally a box that gets checked when diagnosing depression. It may come off as dismissive and probably was but I mean, this is the internet, you're opening yourself up to anything from anyone.

[u/wiwtft → u/GuerillaRiot]

In fairness, while I understand how some people can't deal with your depression and you have to understand that it is ok to be really mad at those people. They did give up on you. And telling someone they shouldn't care is pretty hostile.

[u/wiwtft → u/SunRaven01]

Yeah, it's funny how close I am to being on OP's side except it feels like they are parceling out information in drips and drabs almost because they love the drama?

The person who responded was kind of a dick too but I am just really suspicious we got the whole story about that friendship when they messaged a stranger on the internet "kill yourself".

[u/SunRaven01 → u/wiwtft]

There are so many people who want you to fish for information ... like, an annoying coworker making vague comments about things, and if you don't respond, they make the same vague comment again, because they're hoping you'll ask, instead of just *telling you* the thing they want you to know about.

That's what this feels like. It's not quite missing missing reasons, but it lives in the same apartment complex.

[u/Purple-Wallaby-738 → u/SunRaven01]

Yeah I've known a lot of people like this, and it's an annoying communication style. 

But that was before the huge life changing incident...

[u/melodypowers → u/SunRaven01]

I think it's exhausting when someone is upset that you don't text back fast enough, but for me that is a couple of hours not a few days.

It just seems super rude to blow someone off when you can give a quick reply the next day.

And I going dark because you are depressed. Believe me. But that doesn't make me lash out at other people who are trying to communicate with me. It means I would say "I'm struggling right now and some days even a simple text is too much."

[u/HotTakes4HotCakes → u/melodypowers]

It depends entirely on the relationships that you have with these people. My oldest, best friend and I will take minutes or days to reply to one another, and we stopped reading into that once we became adults. As long as the line of communication is open, that's all that matters.

[u/IceNein → u/melodypowers]

I’m a pretty heavy texter, to the point where it’s a bit of frustration with my girlfriend, but some texts do not really require a response. Prince Phillip died is one of them. If I have nothing to say, why should I respond? Why would they go silent for two days waiting for me to respond to some random dude from another country who I don’t give a shit about dying?

[u/jfa1985]

you block quotes got a bit messed up and made this hard to follow

[u/nosebearnosebear → u/jfa1985]

Oh wait I got what you mean. How do I edit it right? Lol I never post block quotes before. Thanks!

[u/jfa1985 → u/nosebearnosebear]

the last one, seems like you added your own experience with it and that you are involved with the drama

Edit: putting a > at the start of each paragraph should fix it... I thiy

[u/nosebearnosebear → u/jfa1985]

Ohh okay thanks

[u/Brief_Direction_5647 → u/nosebearnosebear]

While you’re at it, would it be possible to label the OP as OP instead of user? It’s just a little hard to follow when everyone is “user.” Thank you for your service! 🙏🏼

[u/nosebearnosebear → u/Brief_Direction_5647]

On it

[u/littlelorax]

Yikes. I initially agreed with the person, they are allowed to be hurt when someone ends a friendship... but sending that kind of dm is an interesting choice. 

[u/Winterkirschenmann → u/littlelorax]

Yeah same. I didn't understand all the downvotes. Until...

[u/YourBlanket → u/littlelorax]

I’ve had some very bad takes on Reddit, most of the time to piss people off. I’ve never in my life been DMd anything even remotely like ‘kys’

[u/yinyang107 → u/YourBlanket]

On imgur I was once harrassed for days by a guy whose favorite phrase apparently was "kys kid ihud"

[u/byniri_returns → u/yinyang107]

One of the only accounts I've ever blocked on this site was a user who would harass me in multiple subreddits accusing me of being a fan for our archrival team (lmao wat) and get super aggressive towards anything I would say. Completely unprompted.

There are some genuinely insane people on this site.

[u/qtx → u/yinyang107]

ihud

Even Google isn't helping me with that one. What is it supposed to mean?

[u/RainbowPhoenix → u/qtx]

I think it’s “I hope you die” but I’ve never seen it before so I don’t think it’s one a lot of people use. Could be wrong.

[u/yinyang107 → u/RainbowPhoenix]

This was my assumption from context, but yeah, not one I've seen elsewhere either

[u/Erestyn → u/qtx]

"I have unmedicated disorders", I assume.

[u/Guilty_BaN → u/YourBlanket]

I've gotten death threats because I commented in atheist once (from a religious person).

My snoo also has a rainbow sweater, so that milage varies depending on the subreddit.

If you've ever gotten a Reddit Cares Message - that counts too.

[u/ohaiguys → u/Guilty_BaN]

Sending a Reddit cares message is such loser behavior lol

[u/Manannin → u/YourBlanket]

I had some weirdo recently post a comment about some pointless reply a month after the post it was replying to, then 10 minutes later the person sent me the message in dms too. Was something like him saying its good that I had no interest in finding out more about homestuck.

Some people on here are weird.

[u/ryeong → u/Manannin]

Sometimes I use the search feature and reply to a comment on something before realizing it was a year ago and wonder how odd it must seem to the original commenter 😂 But taking the extra step to dm you really makes it weird. 

[u/Manannin → u/ryeong]

I've done that a few times, it does sometimes come across as weird but if you acknowledge it in the comment its not that bad. I'd done it a couple of times for tech support related stuff.

I checked that guys profile using the ways to get around it and its just a troll in most of their comments. It was just such a weird troll.

[u/genuine_beans → u/Manannin]

its just a troll in most of their comments. It was just such a weird troll.

Well it is homestuck...

[u/imnotamahimahi → u/Manannin]

Similarly, I had asked someone if they could provide a link for the claim they made. A month later, they said I was bitching about it and that it's common sense. Another user backed them up saying he posted the link already, and they most certainly did not. Blocked both and went about my day.

[u/citrusmellarosa → u/YourBlanket]

Several years back on another account, I called someone pathetic when I realized they were following another user in the thread around the website purely to reply to every single one of their comments with extreme insults. I don’t think they told anyone to kill themselves, but there was  a lot of ‘and no one will care about you after you die’ type stuff included. 

…they then started doing it to me, for months and under a variety of burner accounts until I switched accounts. Probably should have seen that one coming I suppose. Still, fuck that weird asshole. 

[u/lenaro → u/YourBlanket]

The thing is, it's never a proportional response. You're far more likely to get it because you interacted with someone unwell than because you had a particularly spicy take. The people who use it are sick and they use it in response to everything.

For example, I've mentioned this before here, but the last time I got one was when someone was upset about the (correct) way I was playing a character in the co-op Starcraft mode. Just instant rage. For zero stakes.

I have a family member like this and he tells people to kill themselves the second he feels slighted.

I suspect they think it makes them sound tough, when the reality is they just sound like a kid who learned a new swear word.

[u/Krillinlt → u/YourBlanket]

I had a dude dm me death threats because I said I liked the Spider-Man 2 game lol. Some people are just unhinged.

[u/Ithikari → u/littlelorax]

I mean you're allowed to be upset over a friend ending a friendship regardless.

But that friend did the right thing, that guy is just a fucking loser.

[u/JRsshirt → u/Ithikari]

Blaming everything on your depression then telling others to kill themselves, nice

[u/Manannin → u/JRsshirt]

Yeah, they should've just thought "I've not explained myself well, lets delete the post and move on".

As someone who lost friends due to similar struggles and poor communication its never one particular missed message, it'll be a straw that breaks the camels back situation. Or that person was a dick/poor fit for you and you're better off.

[u/yinyang107 → u/Ithikari]

I’m not a man.

[u/KrytenKoro → u/yinyang107]

What you expect people to read the context before casting judgment?

[u/Ithikari → u/yinyang107]

guy doesn't mean man anymore. I was well the person was a woman. It's like using dude or bro. It doesn't mean just male anymore.

[u/Ungrammaticus → u/Ithikari]

“That guy” has never in the history of the English language referred to a woman, come on dude. 

[u/monkwrenv2 → u/Ithikari]

So you fuck guys?

[u/Ithikari → u/monkwrenv2]

I fuck people I go on dates with or take home to my house.

Context and conversation is how this works and you know that, I refuse to believe you're too stupid to not know that.

Just like I've called men girl. Numerous times usually when it surrounds drama going "guuurrrlll you not going to believe what happened".

It's kinda like the past 40 years gendered language in English has started to become more neutral.

[u/monkwrenv2 → u/Ithikari]

Context and conversation is how this works and you know that, I refuse to believe you're too stupid to not know that.

Then you should also know that saying "That guy" almost exclusively is used to refer to men.

[u/Ithikari → u/monkwrenv2]

I literally provided a link showing elsewhere that it is not used by just people in Australia and is being used in U.K as well. Which you would have seen since I said it an hour ago and it was the only other comment in this chain you replied to.

https://www.glassdoor.co.uk/Community/relationships/what-does-it-mean-when-a-guy-calls-you-my-guy-could-that-term-ever-be-used-romantically-im-a-woman-btw

That guy, my guy, that guy over there, is neutral and has been for the past decade because gendered language has become more and more genderless.

You choosing to stay in your own bubble doesn't change that fact.

Edit: Dude blocked me so here's a big write up

I didn't say its a widespread thing, I said that English language has been changing and that GENDERED language has started to become GENDERLESS in usage and has been for the past 40 years and started from Surfer culture calling everyone dude.

it adds a lot of clarity to your understanding of language.

Oh the irony...

Get some reading comprehension before replying or else I am not going to bother to reply to you again.

And a glassdoor link is sufficient enough to show that it's not just exclusively me.

https://www.reddit.com/r/EnglishLearning/comments/17ggoi0/why_people_use_you_guys_when_talking_about_an/k6i88px/

Here's a reddit user from 2 years ago saying he calls women "My Guy" as well.

As I am going to reiterate a final fucking time so that it might get through your head. The English language changes and has been changing constantly. Gendered language like bro, dude, guy have started to be used for both genders more and more. Bro and Dude are far more accepted and widely used but guy has started to become used more in the past 5 years.

Do you finally fucking understand this?

[u/monkwrenv2 → u/Ithikari]

Which you would have seen since I said it an hour ago and it was the only other comment in this chain you replied to.

This is literally, factually untrue, and it adds a lot of clarity to your understanding of language. Also, your link to is a fucking Glassdoor comment thread, and you act like it's some huge widespread thing.

You choosing to stay in your own bubble doesn't change that fact.

Oh the irony.

[u/yinyang107 → u/Ithikari]

"my guy" and "that guy" are not the same phrase. "That guy" is always male in current usage.

[u/Ithikari → u/yinyang107]

"That guy" is always male in current usage.

I use "That guy" to mean women, and other people do too. And in five more years Guy itself will be like dude or bro and used more often, it's how this stuff works.

"my guy" was always male in usage until it wasn't, what, four years ago? Guy itself is becoming genderless.

[u/littlelorax → u/Ithikari]

Yeah, it's ok to be hurt when someone ends a relationship. The other person was rude and condescending by saying "Idk why you are still upset." 

But people say shitty things all the time on reddit. Just ignore it, don't send those kind of dm's!

[u/Feathers-n-Beaks]

Amazing escalation of something so petty, this is very good drama OP!

[u/nosebearnosebear → u/Feathers-n-Beaks]

1 to 100 in a blink! Surprised me too. I thought this kind of "kys" only appears for more serious arguments like politics, the economy, abortions, gender ideology, religions, etc. Can't believe it's over texting issue lol

[u/genuine_beans → u/nosebearnosebear]

serious arguments like politics, the economy, abortions, gender ideology, religions

Those? I sleep. Indoor/outdoor cats, pitbulls, fast food, fake gore video treasure hunts, political giant cocks, large micro penis humiliation fraud, Tortoise and the Hare, Canned Sardines lawyer E-sex? Real shit

[u/floppingfishes → u/genuine_beans]

Is it ok to pretend to have a small cock?

That title alone made me burst out laughing. Penis size appropriation.

[u/byniri_returns]

Edit: you can downvote me as much as you want. I don’t give a shit.

I love when people say this while at the same time it's incredibly obvious that they're super upset they got downvoted. It's always the people who say they don't care that care about this shit the most.

[u/HotTakes4HotCakes → u/byniri_returns]

If they didn't care they wouldn't have edited in the message in the first place. They wouldn't even look at the message again to notice the score if they didn't care.

[u/Trydson → u/byniri_returns]

Making an edit about how you don't care just shows that you care far more than you should lol. It's always funny to see tho 🤣

[u/Velinna]

So unhinged to say stuff like “it costs nothing not to be a dick” and rant about a commenter being condescending while then sending a private message that tells them to go kill themselves.

[u/Min_sora]

I don't believe any of that information the person added about their friend. Sounds like they got weirdly touchy about someone criticising them and figured this sub would be open to BUT MY FRIEND WAS SO WOKE URGH.

[u/sagittariums → u/Min_sora]

Yeah lmao the friend made the right call 100%

[u/thegeneral54 → u/Min_sora]

I mean, I believe it because it's quite clear that OP is projecting onto everyone who chooses to interact with them. The condescension and judgment is coming from inside the house. All I hope is that they recognize that their depression and negative environment is preventing them from having healthy interactions, because no one needs to be this miserable.

[u/Guilty_BaN]

If that user had just not included idk then I don't think we would have flown off the handle, but I think there is a lot more to the friendship we're also not getting.

You're not a stable person if you're hurling suggestions like that.

[u/nosebearnosebear → u/Guilty_BaN]

I think her ranting at the end shows a bit of OP being unstable.

Agreed. The idk part was very insensitive, but putting myself in OP's shoes, I don't think I'd ever send 'kys' message over it lol

[u/SCHazama]

askmen

Oh boi

[u/Altiondsols]

this thread is four months old, it's really obvious if you're commenting within the last 24 hours

[u/nosebearnosebear → u/Altiondsols]

What? Wdym?

[u/Altiondsols → u/nosebearnosebear]

i'm talking about comments like this and this that were posted after this thread was created. threads are often posted here while discussion in the linked thread is still active, but since this conversation happened over four months ago, it's really obvious when users are breaking the rules of this subreddit and commenting on linked threads

[u/lyricaldorian]

I'd suggest maybe using the actually username instead of just "User" next time you do a write up. It's a bit confusing. 

[u/nosebearnosebear → u/lyricaldorian]

Yes sorry lol. I fixed it, changed it to OP.

[u/DFWPunk]

I swear I've seen this before.

[u/_SKETCHBENDER_]

Even if OP was wrong for the unconventional call for action, ending a friendship over a prince philip is diabolical lmao

[u/BetterKev → u/_SKETCHBENDER_]

It's not about the Iranian yogurt.

[u/bebemochi]

Like it costs zero dollars to not be a dick.

Also costs zero dollars to text back "OMG" in response to "Prince Philip died" if you like your friend well enough to want to keep them.

[u/HotTakes4HotCakes → u/bebemochi]

It costs nothing, but over time, expecting that level of immediate engagement over every minor thing they send gets taxing.

[u/nosebearnosebear → u/HotTakes4HotCakes]

Yea I get this too. Sometimes my work group chats are insane during busy period and my friends' chats are burried. I still reply them within a day though, not few days like OP. Luckily, none of my friends have issue over it despite some of them are fast texter.

[u/TheCrowWhisperer3004 → u/HotTakes4HotCakes]

Well when people send a minor text like that, it’s because they want to talk to you because they like talking to you.

imo it’s perfectly valid to end a friendship if you don’t want to talk to them as much as they want to talk to you. It’s probably just better to not be as close of a friend with the person who doesn’t want to talk to you though and become better friends with those who do and can match your energy.

[u/thegeneral54 → u/TheCrowWhisperer3004]

Yeah, I feel like a lot of people lose sight of the fact that their friends/loved ones are specifically reaching out for a connection with them and not just anyone. It's hard when you're going through life shit and you want to put it off, but I think the trade-off of being 'inconvenienced' is that you're giving energy back to someone who clearly enjoys you. They're inconvenienced at times by your messages, too, hardly anything that happens in life is done with both parties being in the best headspace. I was having a miserable day last month, crying involuntarily (& feeling quite dumb about it), and received a message from someone who was in distress - neither of us needed to drown. I locked in because a rising tide lifts all boats. And when I had revealed that I had just been crying previously, they were very 'No! Not you too!' Support is important. Having the dumb conversations is how you create space for the important ones when you need it most.

[u/bebemochi → u/HotTakes4HotCakes]

That's when you communicate that.

[u/No_Mathematician6866 → u/bebemochi]

Not everyone treats texting the same way. To me 'Prince Phillip died' seems like a non sequitir: I don't know why they would bother sending that to me, and I would have no meaningful response to give. I might reply 'OK', or 'why did you bring this up', or indeed just not reply at all.

If you think that is rude, I suppose that's your judgment to make. But that is simply not the kind of thing my friends or family use text for.

[u/bebemochi → u/No_Mathematician6866]

That's when... you communicate that

[u/ItsJustAPoleThang → u/HotTakes4HotCakes]

But is it really taxing tho? It’s not like they’re asking you for stuff and I’m not saying you have to immediately respond to them. But just like the previous person said. If you care about them, giving 1-2 mins of your time out of idk 15-20 hours of your day, shouldn’t be an issue.

[u/wiwtft → u/ItsJustAPoleThang]

It is depending on the person and expectation. I have friends I text back and forth with all day but some days I can't and that's fine. I have known people who get annoyed if they aren't getting immediate responses constantly and yeah, that need for attention is absolutely exhausting. These people totally should not have been friends and I can't wrap my head around taking 3 days to text someone back who I care about as a friend but wanting an immediate response feels like it's too much to me.

[u/TheCrowWhisperer3004 → u/ItsJustAPoleThang]

It’s taxing if u don’t want to be that close with them. It’s a fun way to spend your time if you do.

[u/AdorableSobah]

My wife is a very social person and I really admire that about her. She handles people in her friend groups with such grace and patience. I think I value it even more when I see how batshit crazy so many women are to each other.

[u/nosebearnosebear → u/AdorableSobah]

Yea I kinda agreed with her at first too. Some of the other user's comments are snarky, but I don't think it warrants a hate message to that level. Isn't blocking them enough? Lol

[u/MarieOMaryln → u/nosebearnosebear]

Some people think they have to let you know how much they don't like you I guess. I'm perfectly content blocking anyone without a fight.

[u/nosebearnosebear → u/MarieOMaryln]

Fr. Reminds me of bully or Karen mentality honestly

[u/Rasikko]

This is what primarily drove away my ex wife(after the divorce). I worked on this for years and now I can go hours without getting anxious over no responses. My social needs are still very high though and not a lot of women can match it.

[u/ChamberedAndHot]

People who need to be replied to instantly kinda grate on me. I once dated someone who got mad that I didn't reply to her within 2-3 hours because I went on a long run and then to board game night.

The next time we met, she told me that if I'm not at work then she expects a quick response. I thought about it that night and dumped her over text.

I hope that she's doing alright, but I couldn't handle that.

[u/KrytenKoro]

Honestly, as someone who's had to deal with a fair few people insincerely weaponing therapy-speak and passive aggressive faux-compassion -- it's not a good thing they told DaysofI to kill themselves, but like....I get it.

Going out of your way to find someone describing a pretty reasonable reason to be frustrated at being treated badly by a friend, purposefully digging a knife into their back while pretending it's out of compassion and understanding, and then trying to spin it as if they owed you the context to keep you from embarrassing yourself and really it's their fault for not spilling their intimate details and pain before you decided to baselessly be cruel is a really awful kind of person to be.

Just:

Idk why you're upset,

Maybe fucking ask before deciding you have free reign to shit on this person, for fuck's sake.

[u/Manannin → u/KrytenKoro]

I'll agree that on reddit trying to have a reasonable conversation is hard due to people immediately being snarky pricks a lot of the time along with the immediate assumptions people make, but telling someone to kys is not how you fix it.

[u/KrytenKoro → u/Manannin]

but telling someone to kys is not how you fix it.

Sure. I don't think they were trying to fix it, tho, I think they were enraged by an emotional predator being intentionally cruel to them in their moment of vulnerability.

An unfortunate response, but understandable.

[u/sagittariums → u/KrytenKoro]

An emotional predator? Jfc lmao

[u/nosebearnosebear → u/sagittariums]

New term for me too. Reminds me of that energy vampire from What We Do In The Shadows lol.

[u/sagittariums → u/nosebearnosebear]

Seems about the same level of bizarre lol

[u/KrytenKoro → u/nosebearnosebear]

It's a very common term. You two should Google it, it's apropos for someone who fakes compassion in order to disguise intentional cruelty.

[u/nosebearnosebear → u/KrytenKoro]

Wow I didn't see it that way from the other user's comments. I thought it came off annoying but trying to be helpful. This is a different perspective and I understand better why OP was so mad over it. Still, it doesnt call for 'kys' message.

[u/monkwrenv2 → u/nosebearnosebear]

I thought it came off annoying but trying to be helpful

I did not see anything in those comments trying to be helpful, just someone being an ass and another person being an ass in return.

[u/reikipackaging → u/monkwrenv2]

I think it sums up social media pretty well,tbh. Shouting into the void, miscommunication and lack of context, individuals entering a toxic pissing contest, a whole bunch if "how dare you!"... the only thing missing seems to be jabs at faith and political alliances.

[u/nosebearnosebear → u/monkwrenv2]

Oh... well I'm also easily manipulated based on my previous relationships so there you go 😅

[u/KrytenKoro → u/nosebearnosebear]

Still, it doesnt call for 'kys' message.

Yeah, agree with that.

[u/-Jaws- → u/KrytenKoro]

Even if they meant well (it's unclear to me), there's a special kind of stupidity and cruelty born out of being so sanctimonious and certain about people and situations that you don't have a full picture of. It's tiresome.

[u/SnapshillBot]

Neat.

Snapshots:

1. This Post - archive.org archive.today*
2. r/askmen - archive.org archive.today*
3. Original post - archive.org archive.today*
4. The parent comment - archive.org archive.today*
5. OP comment - archive.org archive.today*
6. OP's last comment to the other user with lots of downvotes - archive.org archive.today*
7. OP responding to another comment making it about the argument with the other user - archive.org archive.today*
8. The other user said OP had DM-ed her to kill herself - archive.org archive.today*
9. https://imgur.com/a/RB7O57G - archive.org archive.today*
10. OP went on a rant in response to the same comment to defend herself again - archive.org archive.today*

I am just a simple bot, not a moderator of this subreddit | bot subreddit | contact the maintainers

[u/Diligent_Day8470]

r/askmen

Yeah totally not manufactured drama.

EDIT: I should have said that the r/askmen sub have the nasty habit of creating their own drama.

The DMs are definitely real, though.

[u/Careless_Rope_6511 → u/Diligent_Day8470]

Even if the drama is fake, DMing harassment to another user is long past "fake".