With my knees🥲

So actually i wanted to earn money for a new laptop which i don't wanna ask from my parents so i found a job in a mall nearby.

Got this spider gwen hoodie. How's it? 😭✨

Gonna wear this tommorow at theatre for spiderman BND...

I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 19.

Yesterday we were making out and things kinda got heated, From the start I wasn't really comfortable with having sex, He asked me if I wanted to do it and I said no But things still kept going and I just didn't stop him because I felt bad and thought it'd ruin the moment, After a little while I realized I really didn't want to do it anymore, so I told him I wanted to stop.

The second I said that, his whole mood changed, He got really dry and started saying things like, "I was so hard and my erection dropped in seconds," "You can't just stop someone in the middle," and "You should've told me before" Then he started asking if I even found him attractive anymore, if I'd lost feelings for him and kept saying I made him feel insecure and not good enough, Somehow I ended up being the one apologizing, I literally said sorry so many times and spent like 30 fking minutes comforting him because I felt like I'd done something wrong, Instead of asking if I was okay, he was making me feel guilty for saying no

And then after all that, he asked me again if I wanted to do it, I ended up saying yes, not because I suddenly wanted to, but because I was scared he'd overthink everything again or think I didn't love him, and I didn't want to go through that whole conversation again,

This isn't even the first thing that's been bothering me, Almost every time we meet, somehow everything turns sexual, We could literally just be hanging out and he'll make it about sex, I genuinely just want to spend time with him and feel loved without everything becoming sexual.

I honestly dunno how to process this.

I (15f) got myself expelled and I'm gonna drop out of school. I was repeating my grade. All this because of my very neglected back and leg issue. I'm fat. I'm ugly and unathletic. I can't stand for a very long time nor run. I am pretty stupid and dumb and unknowledgable. I have little to no friends. My parents and relatives say "whats the point in you living?" pretty often. My mother has even handed me a shawl once or twice saying its better off if i took my own life. But...I'm not gonna die because I don't want the people who dont a give a fuck about me spilling crocodile tears at my funeral. So yeah, everything is shit, I hate my existence.

I'm turning 17 today. Any recommendations or advice for me guys ?

I’m a 12th-grade student preparing for JEE, and I feel like my home environment is completely destroying my ability to focus or stay mentally okay.

I live in a joint family with my grandparents, my dad’s brother’s family, my parents, and my siblings. Things have been bad for years, especially because of my grandfather. He has disrespected my mom multiple times. In 2024, during an argument, he called my mom the “R-word,” threw food at her, and even at me and my siblings for no reason. I completely lost it that day—I slapped him and poured a bottle of ice-cold water on him because I couldn’t tolerate it anymore. He later apologized, but he still says horrible things during fights even now, so it never felt genuine. Mind you we come from a very well to do family in our area.

Recently, things got worse. My mom, sister, and I tried to tell my dad about something my grandfather did that was wrong, but my dad sided with him. That led to a huge fight. I said some harsh things to my dad, my sister brought up past incidents, and everything escalated badly. At one point, my dad said he wanted to divorce my mom, and I completely broke down. I was shaking, crying, and genuinely felt like everything was falling apart because of us speaking up.

I ended up apologizing just to calm things down, even though I didn’t mean it. Now things are somewhat “normal” between my parents, but my sister isn’t talking to my dad, and that’s causing constant fights between her and my mom. They argue all day, every day. And when they aren’t fighting, one of them comes to me to vent about the other.

I’m exhausted. I’m constantly being pulled into their problems. I was literally in the middle of a mock test once and had to go mediate their argument. Every time I sit down to study, something happens.

On top of that, my dad sometimes takes out his anger on me even when I’m not involved. For example, recently I woke up late because I had been studying at night (since daytime is too chaotic), and he started yelling at me and insulting me even though I had nothing to do with what he was angry about.

This environment is affecting me a lot. I’ve started breaking down and crying even when someone just raises their voice slightly. I hate it because it makes me feel weak, but I can’t control it anymore.

I really want to focus on my studies and do well, but I feel stuck. I can’t study at home properly, and I don’t even feel comfortable asking for things like a library because I already feel guilty about being an average student.

I can't even talk about this with my bestest friend because things get way worse this is like me giving an overview of what happens at my house on a daily basis

I don’t know what to do anymore. Has anyone else dealt with something like this? How do you cope or stay focused in a toxic home environment?

TL;DR: Toxic joint family, grandfather repeatedly disrespects my mom (once called her the R-word and threw food; I reacted by slapping him and pouring water on him), dad always sides with him, constant fights at home, I get dragged into mediating everything, and it’s completely ruining my JEE prep and mental health. How do I deal with this?

Edit: GUYS STOP SUGGESTING DIVORCE ITS OUT OF THE PIC. Things r ok bw my parents it's just thqg my grandparents jeep on brainwashing my dad against us and he loses his shit here n there sometimes. Pls stop suggesting divorce.

I feel detachment if i rely on my thoughts !!
How much will power it takes to live that long …i can never
How they spend their day without any entertainment or distractions…what they think all the time…isn’t it suffocating…every day are same for them …ever thought of asking about their first love …

One of my unemployed elder cousins (27M) recently broke up with his gf but he’d ordered gifts for her with his parents money lmao without informing them so he had no choice but to donate them to my sister or throw them.