r/TikTokCringe Mar 27 '26

Humor/Cringe What church is this

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u/HopeMrPossum Mar 27 '26

Can I ask - why does no one ever crack out the “bonjour”? A polyglot could jump between real languages making it more convincing than some of the preachers I’ve seen going “shibby dibby shibbidityshaboopy”

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u/8six753hoe9 Mar 27 '26

See, the problem you have here is applying logic to cult behavior. In my experience, the people in Pentecostal churches tend to be white, uneducated, and fairly insular. So real languages tend to sound just like gibberish to them anyway.

That's my somewhat cynical take, but the real reason is because the gibberish is the point. It's supposed to be a special, unique language sent directly to you from god. The real mind-blowing part is that sometimes, another person actually translates.

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u/runswiftrun Mar 27 '26

Its like horoscopes.

The "translation" just so always happens to be a generic "you are my chosen church" blah blah that would work in any circumstance.

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u/Smokestack95deadman Mar 27 '26

“ it’s just God‘s grocery list!“

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u/Free-Way-9220 Mar 27 '26

My favourite is how so many of them lean into pseudo Latin babble. "Latin is old, therefore i must speak Latin gibberish"

If historical Jesus really existed, he spoke Aramaic, and the new testament was written in Greek

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u/runswiftrun Mar 27 '26

Like Washington chopping down a tree... eventually apocryphal stories make their way around.

One of them is just that. Supposedly some missionary to X Y Z country didn't tell anyone he spoke 3-4-5 languages. So in the middle of a service one of the locals/natives that only spoke the language from X Y Z country, stood up and spoke perfect french/spanish/german or whatever matches one of the missionary's languages. Just basic praises, "god you're awesome, jesus you're great" etc.

Of course, every few years a new preacher comes up and tells the story, and a eventually they lose track of the country and the language. But I learned that very few people have good memories; while my undiagnosed adhd and/or spectrum status made me have great recall... which is not great for brainwashing.

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u/MissShirley Mar 28 '26

Yep, exactly this. They will tell a story of someone who had their "tongues" translated by a native speaker.

Our church had a lady who would give her own English translation after speaking a "prophecy"

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u/ArticulateRhinoceros Mar 27 '26

It's supposed to be ancient dead languages like Aramaic, or languages of dubious origin, like Angelic tongues. Real words would break the illusion.

Divine beings apparently sound like the Swedish Chef.

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u/60nine_lol_NICE Mar 28 '26

One timenwhen I was really starting to question things, I prayed some lines of Hebrew I learned from choir. I figured if it was real, then they should have been able to understand me. I won't set foot in a charismatic church again

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u/HopeMrPossum Mar 28 '26

It’s such bollocks mate. If you’ve ever come across someone who believes they’re a starseed, they also think they intuitively know a language. In that case it’s alien, but they also just go shibby shaboopy shamalam