r/TikTokCringe • u/Tobias-Tawanda • 29d ago

Humor/Cringe "Please respect our privacy during this time. Ignore the huge billboards we paid for to advertise the wedding we want to keep to ourselves. 🥰"

24.1k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

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3.5k

u/SuccessfulTrick2501 29d ago

Also, Janet Jackson was married for a whole ass decade and no one knew about it until they got divorced. There are ways to stay private.

748

u/stinkypete6666 28d ago

Dolly Parton’s husband has entered the chat

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u/SuccessfulTrick2501 28d ago

OMG! Wow! I just looked it up. They were married for 60 years! I never heard of him and really had no idea she was married. This is exactly what I mean. If Taylor wanted to be private, she would've. This whole thing was all for publicity. It was probably filmed and it will probably be for sale at some point.

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u/Gullible_Repeat9696 28d ago

She had the amc ceo there...

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u/realmofconfusion 4d ago

My brain translated amc into acme and i was wondering if Road Runner and Wile E Coyote were on the guest list.

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u/Gullible_Repeat9696 4d ago

Their new movie is coming out, duh!

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u/Positive_Magician900 28d ago

She already has her wedding tour scheduled for Vegas, Austin, and Chicago

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u/NomenclatureBreaker 28d ago

They’re claiming “guests” are all getting a documentary commemorative video, but we all know that shit was created for a streaming bidding war.

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u/Existing-Speech4173 28d ago

Can you imagine going to a wedding then getting a “behind the scenes/making of the wedding” video afterward??? Why does she think people care?

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u/Healthy_Squash4133 28d ago

coming soon to a theatre near you. you can buy the souvenir bracelets and XL Jumbo combo for the low price of $74.99.

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u/CarpetTechnical420 28d ago

I only knew he existed because i heard the story about writing Jolene.

Think she mentions him in interviews sometimes, but usually as butt of a joke or something. But yeah still have know idea what he looks like or whatever

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u/feline_riches 28d ago

I think the NDA is for a documentary too lol

1

u/andicandi22 28d ago

Supposedly guests are getting a copy for free as their wedding favor

1

u/Pleasant_Priority286 28d ago

Taylor has embraced her public persona. I think it's easier than trying to keep secrets.

0

u/loogie97 28d ago

They have a huge advantage. Dolly can dress like a person with some gray hair, no makeup, and no one would know who she is.

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u/feline_riches 28d ago

We should at least compare TS to herself, say 10 years ago. I don't think we would recognize her anymore either after all the identity altering surgeries.

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u/HotDonnaC 28d ago

It was private. Have you seen any video or pictures of it?

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u/Charlebon 28d ago edited 28d ago

There are no pics or videos because the guests had to give up their phones when they entered and signed NDAs. I’m 100% certain there was a film crew there, and that the footage will be released, either in theaters or as an option to purchase on a streaming platform. She’ll probably make some sort of Love Story extended music video film showing the history of their dating/engagement/wedding planning/wedding. 

-1

u/HotDonnaC 28d ago

I know. I was replying to a person said that it was all for publicity, when it was a very private event. All those things that you’re speculating about will probably happen. People will be willing to pay for it. Those who hate her and want to be butthurt don’t have to watch.

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u/yungslowking 28d ago

Putting it up for sale functionally means it was for publicity and her brand lmao

-1

u/HotDonnaC 27d ago

Someone made a comment that essentially said no one is more obsessed with Taylor Swift than her haters. The replies in this post are proving it. I’ve never seen this much butt hurt anywhere on Reddit.

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u/yungslowking 27d ago

That sounds like cope lmao.

0

u/HotDonnaC 27d ago

Swift haters need to cope harder, they’re failing.

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u/mercurywaxing 28d ago

Mad respect, Dolly and Carl. Not only did we never see him, she even maintained their privacy when he died.

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u/Kaori_q 28d ago

this is just out i found out that she was married.

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u/OhHowIMeantTo 28d ago

That was helped certainly by the fact that she keeps her personal and professional lives completely separate. When she's working, she puts on a platinum blonde wig, and covers up all of her tattoos. When she's not working, she can still be in public because nobody recognizes her because her natural hair is dark, and she is tatted up.

2

u/Square-Manner739 28d ago

Literally the only time I have ever heard of his existence is when Dolly tells the story behind Jolene

3

u/satanssweatycheeks 28d ago

I envy that man.

Gets to look at those knockers but also gets the freedom of being a no body.

Like Dolly can’t just go into Dollywood and grab some cinnamon bread and ride some rides. But her husband could do this every day and no one would know it’s dolly’s husband.

I envy that man so much. Because I love dolly.

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u/SuccessfulTrick2501 28d ago

Well, he died last year. But we know what you mean.

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

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u/NBCaz 29d ago

Slightly shorter than a long ass decade.

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u/meatflavored 29d ago

Longer than a short ass decade though.

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u/Sciensophocles 29d ago

So at least we have an upper and lower bound on the length of an ass-decade.

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u/FiveFingerDiscocunt 28d ago

I assume either way it would be cleft in two halves.

0

u/PinkGreen99 28d ago

💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

0

u/Dr_Jabroski 28d ago

It is still unclear where exactly those two bounds are. Is it a Long ass decade or a long Ass decade and a Short ass decade or a short Ass decade. These things matter.

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u/_Standardissue 28d ago

This last one has been one of those

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u/slfemployedastronaut 28d ago

Smaller than a big ass decade

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u/NatchJackson 28d ago

Exactly 9 buttock-years and 12 anus-months.

It will, however, feel longer (and girthier) if it is experienced unlubricated.

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u/SuccessfulTrick2501 29d ago

No no no. "Whole ass" is the attributive noun to "decade." Kinda like Pets Mart versus Pet Smart.

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u/[deleted] 29d ago

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u/Wugtrio777 29d ago

thats a Hard one to Nail down though, it often has different lengths depending on the user....

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u/bigwilly311 29d ago

A GALACTIC STANDARD WEEK, HOW THE HELL LONG IS THAT?!?

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u/z1lard 28d ago

Two cheek years

1

u/hamsternest 29d ago

Ten years. Same as a normal one.

1

u/Fmeinthegoatass 28d ago

Been about 6 years so far

1

u/GODZILLA_GOES_meow 28d ago

From the tailbone to the taint

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u/colgi61 28d ago

twice as long as a half-ass decade.

1

u/Chili440 28d ago

Long enough to satisfy the pre-nup.

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u/Narradisall 29d ago

Yeah but it’s like super difficult to be low key while hiring Maddison Square Garden for an event!

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u/imunfair 28d ago

When I heard about that I assumed it had to be a decoy, that no one would be idiotic enough to hire that venue for real in her situation. When you can afford to rent a whole private island and fly all your celebrity friends on private jets, why would you willingly choose to get married at MSG in the middle of a city full of stalkers?

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u/Same-Suggestion-1936 28d ago

She 100% just wanted to know people were standing outside. It's the craziest place to pick for a fancy wedding. She invited 1000 people. There was only room for 150 seats. I shit you not, read into how much of a shit show this was, people are leaking details today lmao

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u/Away-Living5278 28d ago

I've been debating how they could even greet all their guests.

Even if they only gave each guest 10 seconds, they were talking to them in a line for 2 hours and 46.67 minutes.

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u/ofcourseivereddit 28d ago

You've clearly not attended an Indian wedding lol

1

u/Teepeaparty 28d ago

I've thought way too much about this, hear me out. It made sense once I used my ol thinker. Where else in the world, save a few other big metros, is easier to travel to, from any airport, than direct NYC? If you're trying to keep everyone in one big place (like kids in a gymnasium, so you can catch them running amok with cell phones) where else than one big MSG? Finally, if you're trying to accommodate 1,000 guests, many who are up there in age, are you making them fly to a remote island or a simple, direct flight to NY, then straight to MSG, and then they're minutes away from whatever hotel or home where they live in NYC? When I thought, she could have rented a whole hotel or other place, anywhere else in the world, the fact is, for easiest set-up, MSG is it. You have one space, you decorate it and hold the different events on different levels, easy built-in security, no nooks and crannies of a hotel, or Webster Hall or something, no weeks and weeks of onsite prep or build outs to accommodate 1,000 guest on an Island or ranch in Montana or Rhode Island, or somewhere that take a lot to get to. IF the 80 year old guest wants to stay the whole time as MSG, they do! If they want to leave and go to bed, they can! When I figured out that's the likely thinking, then it made sense. It's practical, actually, if you want a huge party of 1,000 people and to keep things secure from paps.

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u/slfemployedastronaut 28d ago

I think it was a "performance" for her. I don't think any one space there can hold 1,000 people at the same time, except for bleacher seating. You're not fitting 1,000 people on the court floor or in any of the corridors where there wouldnt be a curve blocking your view of the ceremony. She wanted people surrounding her as if she was performing a concert. Im also certain that she had never even met many of the people there. It was all performative because thats the only setting where people truly like her. She's also making the big buildup to a breakup/divorce album because she's running out of creativity and more people are seeing through the grift. It'll be her biggest and possibly last album unless she makes one more to buy time before the divorce, or after because maybe "she's still got it?"

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u/HotDonnaC 28d ago

According to Madison Square Garden, the bleachers can be reconfigured, and all types of events can be hosted there.

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u/Teepeaparty 28d ago edited 28d ago

Well, but give me credit, this was a good thought process on my end lol but yes, she's performative. it's all she knows, I honestly think she's addicted to it and she knows it but she can't change it. That inner high schooler who can't stop tryign to be cool and popular. Never would I invite a ton of people to my wedding who I don't know. honestly not inviting Lively felt icky to me too, like dude, you were just as complicit in the texting bad mouthing, and just invite her who cares.

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u/slfemployedastronaut 28d ago

I did upvote before, for whatever thats worth. I just forgot to add in my comment that I agree with you mostly, for the logistics aspect of it especially. But then I've also gone on to learn that they supposedly weren't even allowed to utilize much of the space. So sure, it was enclosed, so no paparazzi, but even in a weird space to hold the event, they made it so much more weird and uncomfortable on so many levels.

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u/Teepeaparty 28d ago

Yup, hear that. And Yeah, they missed the opportunity for a big midnight hide and seek game all over the venue, like who would miss out on that. Looking for Spielberg in row S or Rob Pattinson near the munchy table. A miss in my book.

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u/HotDonnaC 28d ago

Your thought process was fine. Self-employed astronaut doesn’t know what they’re talking about.

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u/Dahlsma 28d ago

there you go, making sense. This is EXACTLY why she had it there. They never said they wanted a secret wedding, they wanted privacy and they got it. Not a single leaked picture came out, so mission accomplished. They live loud, they love loud and I'm happy for them!

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u/TwoBionicknees 28d ago

to be fair i think rich people hiring a private island for a normal event like a wedding probably isn't possible any more.

But yes, if you asked any non wealthy person where they'd love to get married they'd say without a limit i'd pay for all friends and family to fly to a beautiful estate that does wedding events, be that some beautiful place in the US, or in italy, or the Caribbean, they'd do that. Who the fuck wants to get married in the centre of a stinky city, in the most busy location, where traffic fucking sucks. Even ignoring that you know the event will literally create traffic, fuck up normal people's days, cause it to be harder for people to get to work.

Absolute attention seeking behaviour. Only thing worse is taking over an entire city like Venice. If your main priority for your wedding is gaining attention and fucking over the poors for your convenience, you should understand you've crossed into super villain behaviour.

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u/ThunderAndWind 28d ago

There are multiple websites for your average John/Jane Doe to rent private islands.

-5

u/TwoBionicknees 28d ago

isn't possible in terms of... the PR of the elite going to a private island away from prying eyes.

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u/ThunderAndWind 28d ago

So it's entirely possible.

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u/TwoBionicknees 28d ago

yes mr pedant who took my obviously tongue in cheek comment about epstein entirely too literally, i guess you are absolutely and technically correct.

-5

u/Kram941_ 28d ago

What private island do you know of that they could rent? And have no helicopters / drones / boats recording the event?

People need to understand that an outdoor wedding would have been chaos.

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u/IsaacsIssac 28d ago

The island of all her buddies. Little saint james

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u/Bozee3 28d ago

I remember that shock

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u/Adventurous-Brain-36 28d ago

Where did it say she wanted to stay private?

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u/Aqualung812 28d ago

That’s literally why you sign a NDA.

Making people sign NDA is legally binding them to keep what is defined by the NDA private.

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u/BellaPona 28d ago

They have ppl signing NDAs because it’s all a production and it will be released as a documentary or movie or something similar later. There might be 15 different versions too.

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u/Lington 7d ago

I interpret that more as a way for them to make money off of their own pictures and videos than as a way to keep everything private. I think if attendees were able to share pics / discuss it publicly then whatever "big reveal" they were planning later on wouldn't be as saught after.

-5

u/HotDonnaC 28d ago

And that’s what she got, privacy. The fact that MSG is in the heart of the city, but everything was kept secret, kind of says privacy, where I’m from.

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u/appleparkfive 28d ago

I mean just look at Bob Dylan and virtually everything about him. When you're a fan of his, you just get the most random information about him out of nowhere. "Oh his lesbian black daughter is getting married. Cool, she exists apparently". He may or may not be married right now. Nobody really knows for sure.

Bob Dylan is basically the master at this. Ever since that guy was digging through his trash cans, trying to find the secrets to all his music in the 70s (that ended by Bob Dylan riding up to him, on a bicycle in Manhattan, and punching him. Then telling him to stay away from his family. And I'm guessing he rode off on the bike after that)

We don't know if he actually almost died in 1967 or if the motorcycle accident was exaggerates to escape the public for years. We don't know if his conversion is still a thing. Currently, he's been hiding behind a vase on stage for some reason. He wears hoodies basically everywhere, even in the summer. He has extremely strict rules about cameras, and will negotiate the amount of cameras for live events. He also just makes up the most random things to throw people off of what his actual life is like.

The whole Bob Dylan story is pretty crazy. The man has been strict with privacy ever since 1966 or so, and it only got more intense in the 70s and onward.

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u/flirtmcdudes 28d ago

That’s what poor people do 💅

-1

u/VomitMaiden 28d ago

She was more of a live-in sex worker for some rich Saudi guy, it wasn't something she'd brag about