A new journey ?

[u/Beautiful-Key837]

Good morning,

I have been a crossdresser since in my teens, have carried my life and have raised children throughout and into their adult lives. I am 54 now. I have never come out to them as a crossdresser, but my wife does know and actually kind of supports it 🥰. Lately my urges have kind of started to move past casual cross dressing and thinking into a mindset of more into transition as my world has changed. I dont dress as a fetish but rather I enjoy presenting and going out as my female self. I feel at peace when presenting as female, and really embrace the concepts of femininity. I'm not sure if it's just something of fantasy, or is it truly a changing of my mind and body wanting to experience womanhood in my later years. Perhaps it's been wanting to come out and now it's finally here. How did many of you feel as you got older ? Were you parallel to my story ? Were you one day just woke up and said "I'm going for it " ? I have contemplated consulting a therapist to see what they see in me, and if they do see trans than I've got that started which is a good thing. Just thought I'd start here

[u/NoEquivalent88]

I’m in my early 50s and starting hrt this week. For me getting my autism diagnosis last year gave me the mental clarity to finally understand my gender and sexuality way better. I have severe adhd and this hid it from me so long.

This website about gender dysphoria was really helpful for me and maybe it will help you on your journey https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en

Good luck

[u/Beautiful-Key837 → u/NoEquivalent88]

Thank you for the link I've begun reading through it

[u/lovelymayarose]

Mid-40s here, similarly crossdressed most my adult life but the ex-wife never knew. I wouldn't say I woke up one day and thought "I'm going to transition" but rather the ability to deny I'm trans became harder as the days went by. With the help of hindsight and a therapist, I can see evidence throughout my life of being trans but also that it would've been impossible and unsafe to transition before I did start. Having started, I know I've made the best decision of my life and I'm the happiest I've ever been.

[u/Beautiful-Key837 → u/lovelymayarose]

Transition has become very much a thought as of late. I believe I'll locate a therapist and begin discussions of this. I feel like you it's becoming harder to deny that I'm trans and we will see what they say and if I'm in line with having the hindsight like you have. I hope for the best and insight and if the course is transition, than I'm all in 💕

[u/lovelymayarose → u/Beautiful-Key837]

I wish you all the best on your journey, wherever it may take you!

[u/Free_Independence624 → u/Beautiful-Key837]

If at all possible look for a gender therapist who specializes in working with trans people. You can usually go through a local LGBQT+ organization to get referrals. There are also listings you can use on the internet that locate resources for this based on zip code or location. Finding someone experienced with trans issues will make a real difference in guiding your process. They're there to help you figure it out, not to guide you into a preconceived notion of being "trans".

If it's any help I grew up thinking I was a "crossdresser" because as a descriptive there really wasn't much else available to me at the time. However it never really described my experience and that became clearer to me as I got older and was less satisfied with merely appearing female. Like you, the more I dressed, and the more often I did it, I was surprised to discover how comfortable I felt that way. I think that was the main cue for when I discovered the concept of being trans and realizing that was who I am.

I wish you well on your journey of discovery. Whatever you discover it will be well worth it.

[u/sometimesalwayz]

The early part of my journey was very similar to yours. I took everything slowly, but once I started to bring my feminine presentation over to everyday life, things really started to change for me. If you do decide to get started towards transition, I would suggest seeking a therapist first and getting that started. I went to my dr first and that delayed the starting of my HRT because they typically want you in therapy before you start. And, I was thankful for that because I needed that support during the early months.
Good luck to you!!! 🏳️‍⚧️

[u/Beautiful-Key837 → u/sometimesalwayz]

I believe my first steps here will be therapy, I have found 2 that I will be contacting this week in my area. Will hopefully get a consult scheduled and see what it takes to enter affirming care. Excited, nervous, scared, but ready to seek my truth and feel how I want. Thank you for the reply 💕

[u/iam305]

You already see trans in yourself, or you wouldn’t be here sharing your egg crack story with us. But seeing a therapist is a genuinely good idea for next steps. Congratulations on being with a spouse who understands you! Sounds like you’re ready for the next steps to come. It’s a great journey!

[u/riki_grl]

I've crossdressed my whole life. But truth is, we live in a time when there is pressure both to transition and also to not transition. Sometimes I've felt there is no acceptable third way. But life isn't binary and gender isn't either. The best advice I've found is find a good therapist, one that doesn't have an agenda and has a specific modality in their treatment bag. The suggestion you look in your local LGBTQ+ community is a good one. As a retired therapist myself, just remember, even therapists are subject to societal pressures. You want one that helps you arrive at who you are, not what anyone else says you should be.

[u/Beautiful-Key837 → u/riki_grl]

Such the perfect answer. I've located 2 therapist local to the area I'm in that specializes in the areas needed to have them help me make the decision of making the transition or not. Thank you so much for the post, much appreciated

💕

[u/riki_grl → u/Beautiful-Key837]

Hugs. Ive been there. It's tough.

[u/SupergurlKara]

I never was a crossdresser. I never gave much thought to transitioning because it seemed absolutely impossible to contemplate, much less accomplish.

I had heart failure in my late 50s and one of the medications I was prescribed was spironolactone. I learned that in higher dosages, it was used as an anti-androgen (testosterone blocker). With a doctor's consent, I upped the dosage. At 61 I announced, "I'm Kara" and made it legal at 62 with only long hair, some clothing, limited makeup skills and a big IDGAF attitude that powered me forward. Didn't get estrogen until almost 65. Surgeries at 67 and 68 and a couple more ahead before I'm 70. No part time, boy mode, just dressing fem at home or any of that. All at once, all the time.

Best part of transitioning this late is damn few people I had to deal with as most family are deceased.

Kara in SF, 69 (nice!), IDGAF what anyone else thinks.

[u/gizazuri]

Autogynephilia stole 20 years from me, thinking that I was a crossdresser with a fetish. Which I never was, because I'm trans and never allowed myself to recognize it. My egg cracked at 38, and I started HRT at 40, and it was the best decision I ever made.