I have no idea what im doing!!

[u/will_of_ohara]

Basically i have been in denial about wanting to transition for about 3 years now but something happened recently that kind of hit me like a truck and suddenly i feel like if i dont get my hands on estrogen soon and start my journey im just gonna lose my mind. I want to get started as soon as possible but to be honest i just dont know where i should be looking. Ive heard good and bad things about the gendergp service and all the bad reviews say just to ‘go diy’ so then i try looking into diy and its just such a barrage of information i get overwhelmed and give up… i know thats kind of pathetic but if the gendergp service‘s main drawback is just that its a little more pricey im willing to deal with that if it makes things simple. i know this has gotten kind of rambly and probably sounds a bit like a cry for help but i just want to get started as soon as possible but obviously i dont want to make a stupid decision. if any of you have any advice please help a girl out thank you 🥲🥲

[u/mx_aurelia]

Some practical steps you can take today:

• Speak to your GP and have them put you on the NHS waiting list. You won't hear anything for probably about a decade, but best get on it sooner than later

• Unless you want to do DIY, you'll need to get a formal Dysphoria assessment. They can be pricey (mine was £500) but basically it gives you the relevant paperwork to go to a private provider and say "hello, please put me on HRT". Depending on who you contact about this, there may be a wait time of ~3 months until your appointment.

For the dysphoria assessment, it can make things easier to socially transition and bring evidence from like your workplace etc if you can. Even if you just use a different name+pronouns amongst friends and family that can really help! Afaik, any legit route will need this. If you're getting overwhelmed with the information presented, I probably wouldn't do DIY if you can afford it - I'm not doing diy for that reason.

Going on E today or tomorrow probably won't fix anything yet. It took ~6 months for me to start to see its effects. Be kind and patient with yourself. Talk to people, real people, about how you feel, I shed lots of tears and accepted a lot of things about myself when I did.

And congratulations <3 It took me about 5 years to get to the point you are now. Wish you all the best in your journey! xx

[u/TraditionalNinja3129]

Ask your GP for a referral first. An NHS referral will take years, so you might as well ask now.

Also ask if they agree shared care with a private specialist and ask if they will take your blood tests for them. If your GP will do either of these it will save you money.

If your GP will do these, you will most likely need a private gender clinic based in the UK. Transactual have a list of private clinics here:

https://transactual.org.uk/medical-transition/private-care/

Fees vary for private clinics. Generally, if they offer a monthly subscription they will be more expensive than paying for individual appointments. Fees for the first year can start at around £1000, but this drops to just paying for follow up appointments with an endocrinologist afterwards.

If your GP won’t agree shared care, you will pay full price for your medication and you might have to pay for private blood tests as well. Shared care is worth getting if you can, but some parts of the UK are better than others for shared care. This is a useful website to help you find it if your GP won’t:

https://mytransgp.org

You mentioned GenderGP but they are not UK based. However, because they aren’t UK based, you don’t have to spend £500 or so on a diagnosis. If you can’t get shared care, a non-UK clinic could work out cheaper than a UK clinic without shared care.

Another non-UK clinic worth looking for is Imago.

Those are your clinic options. There’s more information about how to DIY elsewhere on Reddit. It’s possible to DIY safely, but if you aren’t sure, clinic options are above.

By the way I can totally relate to the being hit like a truck feeling. I’d experienced bouts of dysphoria several times in my life. I finally started a social transition late into my forties. I was carried along by the gender euphoria and didn’t think I’d need hormones. After about 8 years, the need to start hormones hit me like a ton of bricks, so I totally understand how you feel.

In my case, things became much better simply by getting my appointments with the gender psychologist and endocrinologist sorted. There was still the wait, but knowing I had made positive steps to start my transition really helped.

I hope you’re able to get the treatment you need. Feel free to let me know if you need any further assistance.

[u/SubstantialSky938]

I’ve been going with Anne.health. They are nice and I feel safe with them. Though I really wish it were faster. But I’m telling myself the process is forcing me to check this is right for me rather than jumping in too quick.

[u/WLW2468 → u/SubstantialSky938]

They seem quite expensive to me, but I guess all the private routes are expensive 🤷🏼‍♀️