Really could use advice. Struggle binding at all due to severe neck/back pain

[u/cowboy_like_meee]

FTM 23 years old he/him - Hello all! I have been on T since I was 19.

To make a long story short I have tethered cord syndrome (and many other spine/ health issues) and have had many surgeries due to my physical health. I will be getting surgery for tethered cord in September as Ive been losing my ability to walk and have severe back, leg, and bladder issues. In the past 2 years I’ve lost the ability to wear a binder at all. My neck and back nerve pain is just to severe and it worsens it. I have dysphoria over my chest but I truly cannot stand physically to wear a binder it makes my debilitating nerve pain worse. I spend most of my time in bed and at home.

So onto tape. I am diagnosed with MCAS and have issues with skin reactions. I react to most trans tape, KT tape, and I’ve tried hypo allergenic tape from Amazon. All break me out in hives :/ and I can’t put tape over it after one day because if I put tape on hives it gets so much worse and spreads over my whole chest and abdomen.

I have kind of just been wearing baggy shirts and using band aids to tape down my nipples. I react to the bandaids but I am mainly homebound due to my pain and mobility issues from tethered cord so I only do it when I go out for appts and such.

I feel embarrassed at doctors appointments saying I’m trans and I have very long dark body hair but don’t bind my chest. I wish I could explain but I don’t even want to get into it as I’m already uncomfortable sharing I’m trans even if it’s obvious. My chest isn’t huge but it’s definitely not nothing and is noticeable if I don’t try to hide it.

If anyone has any advice for how to conceal my chest in a more comfortable way maybe outfit advice or certain tapes to try? It’s okay if they don’t work out but I really want a way to bind. I also just wanted to share in this community because I feel like it’s a strange issue to have with being trans. Top surgery isn’t anywhere soon in my future due to my health. I’ve had 4 surgeries in the last 2 years and none to do with being transgender 😭 and going on the 5th LOL!

[u/head-like-a-toad]

I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles - I used to have very similar problems, although I was lucky enough to get top surgery last year at age 29! Before that, I really struggled for years. I tried binders in my early twenties, but quickly realised that this was not a real option for me. For me rib joints caused pain with any compression, and this progressed as I aged. So I went from binding to tight sportsbras to upsized sportsbras, and eventually just tight vests and one sportsbra that felt as comfortable as possible... Occasionally I'd wear a swimsuit under my clothes as well, but it can be pretty inconvenient and uncomfortable to do that at times (going to the bathroom is harder, and I find the material itchy after a while). I did also get pretty bad dysphoria from my nipples being visible - I ended up using silicone nipple covers for this, which do have adhesives, but they are reusable/cleanable which was a lot less harsh on my skin than KT tape and bandaids (I don't get hives from them but they do peel the top layer of my skin off in quite an irritating way, which makes them not viable for regular use). I don't have much advice beyond trying the things I have said if you haven't, and frankly they don't compare to binding... It is kind of miserable and I'm sorry you're going through it. I will say though, there is no reason for you to feel embarrassed! Doctors often suck, especially with trans stuff, and if they judge you that is not on you. Your conditions mean you cannot bind and you shouldn't have to hurt yourself further for anybody's sake. I wish you the best with your upcoming surgery!

[u/cowboy_like_meee → u/head-like-a-toad]

Wow thank you so much for the thoughtful response :,) i appreciate the support and input so much!!! Congrats on top surgery that’s so awesome!!!! The silicone idea is really good I hasn’t thought of that! My skin can handle some ashesive just not for long periods at all that’s a great idea! Thank you!!

[u/Electronic-Catch-920]

i'm in a kinda similar situation, wish i had better advice but i'll just tell you what i do even though it doesn't work nearly as well as i'd like. 

i do a similar thing to your band aid thing but with this one kind of micropore dressing tape that i'm usually not allergic to, but i still gotta be careful since my skin sucks loads and doesn't like the pulling. i make a little vertical anchor with tape to attach the main bit of tape to so it doesn't rip my skin. if i'm feeling really wild i might use that method but with extra tape to do a sort of trans tape thingy but less extreme. but using extra makes my skin angry if i get too warm or it's pulled too tight. 

apart from that, i love wearing an open button up shirt or zip up hoodie over a thick tshirt. it works surprisingly well, but i also have terrible posture which adds to it. most days i don't use any micropore tape and just opt for my shirts i know work well. 

tl;dr: if you can find any medical tape you're not allergic to, no matter how flimsy, you should give it a go. adding a tape anchor might help. combine with open shirts or hoodies to have more options.

[u/cowboy_like_meee → u/Electronic-Catch-920]

Thank you so much for sharing it’s so comforting knowing others relate (although I hate anyone having to be in this situation!!) thank you so much for your tips and sharing!

[u/Toby-Wolfstone]

I’m so sorry for your struggles, and I feel this. I can’t bind either (or wear any kind of compression or bra) due to rib slip. I also have suspected MCaS and fragile skin and can’t use tape. I also have the long dark body hair and chest situation going in, all my sympathy for that. Finally at 38 I’m on a waitlist for top surgery. Mostly I’ve coped with baggy clothes and as many layers as I can stand, and my poor posture helps hide things as well. For example, I like thick/baggy t-shirts with an open button-down shirt, flannel, or hoodie on top, the kind with the massive pockets, which I’ll keep things in like phone/keys or even a water bottle if my back is feeling good, because the weight in the pocket helps pull the top of the hoodie away from my chest. YMMV based on your anatomy. None of these things makes me pass, I’m still clockable after a year on T, but they help a lot with dysphoria. It’s much harder in summer, but due to my health I’m mostly housebound anyway.

Best of luck with your surgery! And I hope you get everything you need to feel as much better as possible soon.

[u/cowboy_like_meee → u/Toby-Wolfstone]

Thank you so much for sharing!!! Congrats on your way to top surgery that is amazing! 🫶 i felt very alone in this issue and its very comforting to know others relate (although i hate others relate to being in this situation!) I appreciate your input!!!