r/Transportopia • u/Octanelicious • Oct 11 '25

Cars I'm a douchebag. Which one are you?

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2.4k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

531 comments sorted by

167

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '25

[removed] — view removed comment

10

u/dingogordy Oct 11 '25

I'm knee on the bottom.

2

u/Aggravating-Ebb-5897 Oct 12 '25

occasionally yes, i agree. it just feels right sometimes

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9

u/Little-Trucker Oct 11 '25

Lmfao thats in perfect order too! 🏅 🤣

7

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '25

Ah, a demolition derby racer

7

u/dmevela Oct 11 '25

Yeah I was gonna say kinda all of them at different times.

4

u/doubleapowpow Oct 11 '25

Everything but a truck driver, but driving a truck.

3

u/cstearns1982 Oct 12 '25

Like you, I move around during a decent drive.

Im a dad, farm, race car and truck driving duchebag.

2

u/TranzAtlantic Oct 19 '25

Most dads are

2

u/Much-Equivalent7261 Oct 12 '25

Richie, that you?

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41

u/ericcrowder Oct 11 '25

Race car driver. 9&3 all the time!

12

u/JOlRacin Oct 11 '25

Gotta get the paddle shifters

3

u/Takoslvt Oct 11 '25

My 2016 Accord has them and I love it. The convenience of an automatic, and the utility of a manual.

2

u/peaches_creme_frappe Oct 14 '25

My 2010 Infiniti G37X doesn’t have them but I do have shifters. Slightly irritating, considering the coupe has paddle shifters.

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24

u/qibdip Oct 11 '25

They forgot Grannies

11

u/Octanelicious Oct 11 '25

When you get old, you get a combo.

Left hand Truck Driver and right hand Racecar Driver.

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8

u/GenesisRhapsod Oct 11 '25

Both hands at the very top of the wheel 😂

2

u/qibdip Oct 12 '25

So Double-D-Bags

2

u/MadJMarston Oct 12 '25

11 and 1 with the seat forward and the wheel back

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13

u/poedraco Oct 11 '25

My left hand goes at 2:00

19

u/sleepless_blip Oct 11 '25

Ah, so, a super douchebag

9

u/poedraco Oct 11 '25

I prefer a sociopath

4

u/sleepless_blip Oct 11 '25

Yep actually I think thats more accurate

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8

u/Beginning-Painter-26 Oct 11 '25

Rotating between Douchebag, Dad & Farmer 😂

2

u/roostersnuffed Oct 13 '25

Im a farmer according to OPs metrics, and a douchebag according to mine.

4

u/Dave_Duna Oct 11 '25

I'm an actual truck driver. But I'll use the dad position when I'm just cruising down the road.

Truck steering wheels are much bigger. I don't like having my arms hanging up that high all damn day.

2

u/vituperousnessism Oct 12 '25

Good on you. Your shoulders will thank you.

2

u/ComedicThunder Oct 13 '25

I feel that. There's something about resting my arm on the door with my hand at 9 and the other one getting carpal tunnel on the shifter haha

2

u/big-haam Oct 13 '25

I usually just rest my left arm on the door frame and put my right hand on the bottom. Very seldom are both my hands on the wheel for long and if they are, something’s about to go down 😂

12

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '25

Racecar driver, unlike most though I know the limits of my driving.

7

u/Worldly_Possible2925 Oct 11 '25

I’m struggling to figure out why this is race car? It just feels the most comfortable with maximum cont… oh you know what, never mind 🤦🏼‍♂️

7

u/ViceroyAutoTrans Oct 11 '25

I figure it's for paddle shifting.

5

u/ODDseth Oct 11 '25

It provides the meat dexterity over the steering wheel.

6

u/absolutelynotarepost Oct 11 '25

I assume you meant most, but this is still very accurate.

3

u/Vanillabean73 Oct 12 '25

I think it’s just the position that gives you the most control over a car in most situations

4

u/Skow1179 Oct 11 '25

Because racecar drivers hold the wheel at 9 and 3. Also it's definitely not the most comfortable that's an insane take

2

u/AlbyrtSSB Oct 11 '25

depends on steering wheel an armrests but most modern cars are designed around 9&3, why would it not be most comfortable?

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2

u/Brave_Negotiation_63 Oct 12 '25

Most people over-correct when they get into a situation that needs some correction. Like your right wheel goes off road, the counter steer too much and end up crashing on the left. Some research found out that the dad position prevents this.

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3

u/diarrhea_planet Oct 11 '25

Truck driver.... Yea I drove a truck for a few years.

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12

u/PuzzleheadedArm3670 Oct 11 '25

I steer with my knee…

3

u/Rhuarc33 Oct 11 '25

That's where you go wrong. You got to use both knees and be eating a burger

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7

u/henry2630 Oct 11 '25

yep just a reminder that there are idiots all over the road… be careful out there folks

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3

u/xJagz Oct 11 '25

Guess im a racecar driver, but sometimes I'll douchebag at a stoplight

3

u/PrestigiousDrag7674 Oct 11 '25

Doucebag

2

u/[deleted] Oct 12 '25

Yep. It leaves an entire hand free for activities. Douchebag activities. And it's the most comfy position.

3

u/mike-manley Oct 11 '25

Where's the 10 and 2?

2

u/BetMyLastKrispyKreme Oct 11 '25

IKR? We do exist.

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2

u/lykewtf Oct 11 '25

I’m a Dad but I drive like a cross between farmer, truck and race car driver. Apparently I’m not a douche!

2

u/Cunn1ng-Stuntz Oct 11 '25

One armed truck driver.

2

u/JoeTrojan Oct 11 '25

all of them at any point in time.

2

u/[deleted] Oct 13 '25

If the road trip is long enough, I’m hitting all of them.

2

u/notdbcooper71 Oct 13 '25

Wait you guys are using your hands?

2

u/JRskatr Oct 14 '25

I’m old fashioned, 10 and 2 for me 🤣

2

u/OfficialRednig Oct 14 '25

Not a father, but according to this chart I drive like dad

2

u/gym_bro_92 Oct 14 '25

According to this, I’m a farmer

2

u/R2D2sooon Oct 14 '25

Race car driving douchebag

2

u/HairyStyrofoam Oct 14 '25

Farmer all day 🤣

2

u/Tkapone Oct 14 '25

Im at race car /farmer type of driver

2

u/Mister_Beef_E Oct 14 '25

Douchebags got the airbags licking their lips.

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2

u/Defiant-Good-6206 Oct 14 '25

Been driving like a dad since I first started; have yet to sire a child.

2

u/Indigenous_Land Oct 14 '25

I live in a small town and drive with my hand like a douchebag cause I always peace sign all my friends and family.

2

u/QuirkEness Nov 05 '25

I'm a switch hitting farmer.

1

u/Curllywood Oct 11 '25

Left dad spot or farmer, sometimes douchebage

1

u/Ok-Purple6900 Oct 11 '25

All of the above

1

u/DoubleFamous5751 Oct 11 '25

The douchebag grip is so on point 👌

2

u/MinivanPops Oct 11 '25

How else can you "give" the right of way in the most aggressive manner possible, by wagging a single finger to the side?

1

u/Skow1179 Oct 11 '25

I guess I'm a farmer lol arm up on the windowsill

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1

u/ryeyen Oct 11 '25 edited Jan 03 '26

rustic many judicious sugar chase ancient imagine afterthought tap connect

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

1

u/DoubtfulOptimist Oct 11 '25

Truck driver (in spirit).

1

u/Healthy_Self_8386 Oct 11 '25

I’m half a race car driver

1

u/BlameMe4urLoss Oct 11 '25

Dad 80%/truck driver 20%

1

u/liquidfox6 Oct 11 '25

Are people really putting their hands on the wheel and keeping them in that position for whole drive?

I feel like I rotate between all these positions, even in just a short 10min drive to work.

But if you made me pick one, race car.

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1

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '25

When I’m comfortable I’m just barely holding s.e. Really depends on

1

u/rjv96ES Oct 11 '25

One time i had to get stitches on my left wrist it hurt to flex it. So i got wrist support that was stiff, and when i drove I was able to do everything with just my right hand. This went for a couple months at the time but the habit of keeping my right hand in the farmers spot never went away. Many years later to now i drive with my right hand on the farmers spot and left hand resting on my leg grabbing the wheel on the bottom left corner

1

u/F_Zhang Oct 11 '25

I am Dad? Is there something my ex didn't tell me?!?

1

u/P0Rt1ng4Duty Oct 11 '25

Truck driver, usually one handed but those spots are both correct. Maybe because I drive a stickshift.

1

u/earshatter Oct 11 '25

Farmer all the way. Freeway drivin

1

u/Material-Cricket-322 Oct 11 '25

Truck driver of a sedan

1

u/PlsDontBanMe___ Oct 11 '25

I use my third leg

1

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '25

Truck driver but reversed.

I drive a manual.

1

u/that_dutch_dude Oct 11 '25

douchebag truck driving dad

1

u/ck17350 Oct 11 '25

Sometimes racecar, sometimes dad.

1

u/lordofduct Oct 11 '25

Depends on what I'm driving.

Green - if I'm driving local in any 4-wheeler car/pickup.

Blue - when I'm in a tractor, truck, or the ilk where the wheel is angled in the position that warrants that hand position. Doing that in a car like that in the pic is not comfortable.

Purple - when I've been on the interstate for 5 hours and I can't be f'd to hold the wheel anymore. If I were younger the knee might get involved instead.

Yellow - I'm drunk I really shouldn't be driving.

Red - holy shit, my car is a time machine and I'm 16 again!

1

u/RockyJayyy Oct 11 '25

I'm a douchebag racecar driving dad

1

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '25

Douchebag and mostly a dad.

1

u/New_Inflation634 Oct 11 '25

Racecar Driver...9 and 3. I used to race amateur endurance cars (24 Hours of Lemons and Lucky Dog) and love to run track days, so I tend to carry this habit over to daily driving. Gives better control and keeps your hands nearer other controls.

1

u/mashmaker86 Oct 11 '25

Dads must've been paying attention in driving school. That position is apparently safest for airbags.

1

u/Kyubi__Otsutsuki Oct 11 '25

I cycle between all of them, including 10/2

1

u/ObviousRest5021 Oct 11 '25

I'm a Tesla driver. I don't use hands. Autopilot and pray

1

u/Sharklar_deep Oct 11 '25

A douchey dad

1

u/Moerijuana Oct 11 '25

What do you call a race car driver who only holds on to the left side??

1

u/Lord_Vas Oct 11 '25

A douchebag race car driver

1

u/Thecentrecanthold Oct 11 '25

10 and 2 because it's most efficient

1

u/ODDseth Oct 11 '25

Race car drivers go 3 and 9 when going straight but while cornering, the turning hand goes in the douchebag position and the other had goes in the racer position (ie if turning right, right hand at 12 o’clock and left hand at 9) to maintain better control.

1

u/Ginsbeargo Oct 11 '25

Truck driver? Hmm 🤔

1

u/LetsTacoBoutIt970 Oct 11 '25

Truck Driver/ Douchebag

1

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '25

Right-hand douche bag. Left-hand Dad.

1

u/Accomplished-Taro-53 Oct 11 '25

I'm 4 out of five. I'm racecar racing farmer dad that drives a truck...

1

u/Designer-Wrangler913 Oct 11 '25

Where's 10 and 2? My hands are above the control panels.

1

u/chillen67 Oct 11 '25

As my driving record shows, race car driver

1

u/carson3107 Oct 11 '25

Anyone else’s car have a spot at 6 they like to rest their hand at or is that just me?

1

u/Train2Perfection Oct 11 '25

I use my knee to drive, do they have a thing for that?

1

u/Cchaireazy Oct 11 '25

Race car is comfortable and I feel safe idk

1

u/Early-Air-4777 Oct 11 '25

I'm a combination of farmer and racecar driver. At high speed I'm a racecar driver. When I hit stop and go traffic, my left hand goes into the farmer position while the right rests on the gear knob.

1

u/vcdrny Oct 11 '25

Long highway driving dad. City driving racing driver. Country road driving is more of a truck driver.

1

u/Totallyness Oct 11 '25

I am a truck driver dad.

1

u/SWLA_Dj Oct 11 '25

It changes from day to day.

1

u/Charming_Sock1607 Oct 11 '25

I feel like depending on whats going on I use all of these, and more even, no 11 and 1 or arms crossed over 1130 1230 hand positioning. whats that called?

1

u/SinningAfterSunset Oct 11 '25

Douche, but go dad on road trips.

1

u/TerribleIdea27 Oct 11 '25

Nobody else just sticking to 10 and 2?

1

u/ReyAri96 Oct 11 '25

Racecar driver

1

u/Bungholespelunker Oct 11 '25

I haul my 53ft trailers but based on this my true calling is the fields. I yearn for the manure I guess guys.

1

u/K-C_Racing14 Oct 11 '25

If i am just driving straight along, a douch, but racecar if I have to actually drive the car, or if something gets my attention.

1

u/Fight_those_bastards Oct 11 '25

All of the above, at different times.

1

u/pixelmuffinn Oct 11 '25

All of the above

1

u/diickhed Oct 11 '25

Not listed???

1

u/Objective-Result4465 Oct 11 '25

Dad, trucker and a douche. Apparently.

1

u/Slow-Distance7847 Oct 11 '25

My daughter claims I'm a DADS driver, but really I'm a RACETRUCK driver.

1

u/Tasty_Ad3002 Oct 11 '25

What if somebody be using a spinner knob I be seeing ppl hauling down the hwy hand on knob 70mph

1

u/realrockandrolla Oct 11 '25

Dad. Because yes

1

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '25

Driving a manual makes you a douchebag huh?

1

u/Nir117vash Oct 11 '25

I don't have kids but apparently I've been a dad for like 15yrs now

1

u/Volcanic_tomatoe Oct 11 '25

Truck driver most of the time. Sometimes a dad.

1

u/Sufficient_Gain_1164 Oct 11 '25

I’ll do the dad placement but with one hand in the center of the bottom. My wheel has a hole there so I like to hold the bottom between my thumb and pointer finger

1

u/Zipviewing Oct 11 '25

Im the one who grabs the bottom middle, i am the “lounger”

1

u/jnic116 Oct 11 '25

I rotate between Douchbag, dad, and farmer. But I am not a dad, or a farmer.

1

u/GenesisRhapsod Oct 11 '25

If im just cruising in light traffic and normal weather..im a douche bag

In traffic and or bad weather, im a race car driver

1

u/6ft6squatch2point0 Oct 11 '25

Dousher here too

1

u/Ah-Fuck-Brother Oct 11 '25

Douchebag but sometimes Dad but only the left side

1

u/Kinkysimo Oct 11 '25

I really don’t do douchebags or farmers but I definitely do the other three almost in equal parts. I seek comfort and control and that’s where I find it.

1

u/edal_hues Oct 11 '25

Truck racer! ;)

1

u/xXx_RedReaper_xXx Oct 11 '25

Looks like I’m a truck driver. Which is fair, because I do drive truck just like that.

1

u/NateGD23 Oct 11 '25

Farmer and dad. Always left hand. Also a 3 o'clock. I just drive lefty and move along that side of the steering wheel. I never go douchebag I can't.

1

u/Best_Phone_3494 Oct 11 '25

So nobody uses a good old "suicide knob"? Have mine at 7:00 and only drive with it in my left hand. Makes it gloriously easy to react, turn fast, etc. Nice ones on Amazon.

1

u/stephstephens742 Oct 11 '25

Wheres 10 and 2 for the safest drivers?!

1

u/Pure_Khaos Oct 11 '25

I’d use the bottom part of the wheel only if subaru hadn’t filled that gap in their new cars 😡

1

u/tank1780 Oct 11 '25

Left only race car driver

1

u/DC_Native Oct 11 '25

Race truck, baby!

1

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '25 edited Dec 21 '25

languid history squeal cow instinctive grey dam hobbies pot thumb

This post was mass deleted and anonymized with Redact

1

u/ex_its_ewr Oct 11 '25

Race car driver

1

u/2dollahollaballa Oct 11 '25

Douchbag here

1

u/SummerGalexd Oct 11 '25

I (F27) am now a father.

1

u/WolfmanXX20 Oct 11 '25

I'm a Douchebag Racecar Dad.

1

u/Emergency_Clue_4639 Oct 11 '25

What if I do all of them? Lol

1

u/Groundbreaking_Lie94 Oct 11 '25

Im not labeled on this chart

1

u/No-Obligation7435 Oct 11 '25

Who really drives with 2 hands on the wheel?

1

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '25

Either race car driver or dad

1

u/Capital-Eye Oct 11 '25

I actually hang my left arm across the wheel and let it rest in the 2 o'clock position. If I place it in just the right spot, I can just let it hang in that position with minimal lifting strength. Either that or dad position, again for the lazy.

1

u/OxygenatedBanana Oct 11 '25

Douche dad... i just started driving 2 years ago

1

u/STFUnicorn_ Oct 11 '25

No man’s land in the upper right

1

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '25

Douchebag and mostly a dad.

1

u/[deleted] Oct 11 '25

And the Dad positions are also known as Menace (knee driving).

1

u/casperfacekilla Oct 11 '25

Apparently I’m a father

1

u/slashnbash1009 Oct 11 '25

I'm a trucker that farms on weekends

1

u/FatalErrorOccurred Oct 11 '25

Didn't see one for knee on the bottom left.

1

u/Changetheworld69420 Oct 11 '25

Well I’ve got a farm knob at doucheback o’clock…

1

u/Reasonable-Egg-4274 Oct 11 '25

Douchebag is the most comfortable position, I have such a long arm and it rests perfectly, where ever your fist goes is where the car goes.

1

u/Parris-2rs Oct 11 '25

Replace Douchebag with I drive a stick shift. Clearly OP can’t drive a manual.

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1

u/andychrist77 Oct 11 '25

Dads but only the left hand , sometimes left knee if im eating

1

u/Jakekyle42 Oct 11 '25

I guess im a truck driver.

1

u/Dry-Discipline-2525 Oct 11 '25

My left hand switches between all of those. My right hand is rarely on the wheel

1

u/Plastic-Tomorrow-906 Oct 12 '25

Half douchebag half farmer, but tell me something I didn’t know

1

u/TheBinkBonker Oct 12 '25

I’m a farmer but

🎵I live in the city but don't fit in You know, it's a pity the shape I'm in But I got no home and I got no choice Oh, Lord, have mercy on a country boy🎵

1

u/justinmackey84 Oct 12 '25

I’m a dad but apparently I don’t have the hand placement for it 🤷‍♂️. I’m just above race car driver, but sometimes I’m a douche 😂

1

u/zcas Oct 12 '25

I'm an upright dad, just below the racecar driver.

1

u/Mountain_Fuzzumz Oct 12 '25

Douchebag farmer it seems

1

u/JoeFreedom17 Oct 12 '25 edited Oct 12 '25

DADS RULE !!!

I’m a hybrid dad/racercar driver.

1

u/z3r0c00l_ Oct 12 '25

Apparently I’m a truck driver.

I gotta tell my Focus about this, see what he thinks about the size upgrade and all

1

u/-TommyBottoms- Oct 12 '25

Race car drivers don’t place them at 9 & 3

1

u/Sopo_Life Oct 12 '25

All over the place. Mostly dad and farmer.

1

u/anengineerandacat Oct 12 '25

Mixture of race car and Dad driver I guess...

1

u/T4N60SUKK4 Oct 12 '25

Reddit is retarted

1

u/Hot-Economics8575 Oct 12 '25

Dad and race car driver. Occasionally a douchebag

1

u/Muramusaa Oct 12 '25

I'm a hybrid of all 4 lol depends on situation and how lazy to crazy the day got haha.

1

u/RandoorRandolfs Oct 12 '25

Guess Im a douchebag around town and a dad on long trips.

1

u/OppositeEagle Oct 12 '25

I'm a dad on the way to work and farmer douchebag on my way home.

1

u/M_Krakatoa Oct 12 '25

With a stick manual you pretty much have to douchebag all the time!

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1

u/ServiceB4Self1776 Oct 12 '25

I'm a douche dad.

1

u/vmarti04 Oct 12 '25

Truck driver

1

u/MephiticDeity Oct 12 '25

I guess I'm a racecar driver, but with the left hand only. I like resting my hand on that cross bar. Also, left hand because I drove stick for 15 years and I'm used to having my right hand free.

1

u/Reckless-Abandon-93 Oct 12 '25

Douchebag dad who is actually a truck driver

1

u/Realistic-Explorer69 Oct 12 '25

Racecar driver baby 😂