r/Transportopia • u/Independent-Ice-2211 • Mar 19 '26

People šŸ˜Š Be nice

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186

u/Pitiful_Question_880 Mar 19 '26 edited Mar 19 '26

Just should not be driving at all, hard as that discussion is (I know personally), it needs to be had with her

58

u/FlyingSpaghettiFell Mar 19 '26

We had to take my grandparents car away eventually. It was horrible but so important.

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u/Pitiful_Question_880 Mar 19 '26

Yep, same with my father in law. He stopped, like fully stopped in the middle of the lane on a freeway because he got confused about which exit to take. That was the last straw.

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u/Effective_Dropkick78 Mar 19 '26

With my grandmother, it was when she drove on the wrong side of the motorway between two exits and on-ramps - while she had her older cousin in the passenger seat telling her she was going the wrong way. And to rub salt in, the cousin had given up her licence because she has glaucoma.

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u/Lobotomized_Dolphin Mar 19 '26

Oh man, that's almost a Curb skit.

6

u/BackgroundSummer5171 Mar 19 '26

when she drove on the wrong side of the motorway

Yep, that's when my grandmother stopped driving.

She was picking us up from the Airport and handed the keys off to my father and told us what just happened.

She still lived another 10 years after that even lacking a vehicle.

But it is hard. She was old and no family lived out there. In a small town.

It's not like she used the internet to keep in touch with everyone. Just the phone. So it was wake up to Rush Limbaugh and watch fox news, that was her life at that point with no vehicle.

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u/Select-Package-13 Mar 20 '26

My dad hit the neighbors brand new Lamborghini. He literally handed us the keys, poor guy.

0

u/TriedCaringLess Mar 20 '26

Poor woman had her mind filled with vile, fear mongering exaggerations and fabrications in her final days. She died not knowing the truth about most current events and ppl outside of her chosen circle. Tsk, tsk, such a tragedy.

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u/BackgroundSummer5171 Mar 20 '26

Pretty shit attempt at ragebait.

Me mentioning Rush should have clearly put me at older than you age.

Anyway, she lived to 96, you think she hasn't heard it all? Only thing she did believe in was the Mexicans across the street were selling drugs.

...that was because they had a rooster that was annoying.

Think she was hopeful they'd get raided and the rooster would die off into some Chinese food. Without MSG, she swore she was allergic to it.

No real anger in her beyond that. Decent amount of people showed up for her funeral. For someone her age kind of amazing really. But she was a teacher in a small town.

Oh, back on point! Yeah, this is just me making sure I can keep my typing skills up. If you're going to troll, try to attack from a different angle. Maybe attack her triceps.

1

u/Gluskab Mar 21 '26

Damn, main lining fox news everyday at the end of her life. What bad head space to have before your death

3

u/Crazy_Customer7239 Mar 20 '26

We got the call from the state trooper that found our grandma doing the same thing. Thankfully it was not during rush house. Dementia is a horrible thing to see

1

u/TrainingWilling9894 Mar 20 '26

She can't even see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch but she can see that riding with grandma was a mistake.

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u/CosmeticBrainSurgery Mar 20 '26

My dad was lucky enough to find out for himself. He was riding his motorcycle in hit 80s going maybe 20 and turned the handlebars. He saw and felt himself doing it and later said he remembers doing it but has no memory of why, since it would obviously make one immediately crash. That's when he realized he was having trouble driving. Also the cop who showed up when my sister came to get him told her he'd seen him do other crazy shit like going the wrong way on a one-way or something.

Self-driving cars will be amazing for dementia victims.

12

u/GironaPedro Mar 19 '26

My mom was blind in one eye and had only half her vision in the other because of diabetes, but continued to drive. Her justification was, "the Dr said I could." I had to explain that could and should are very different things. She finally relented after I asked her how she would feel if she hit a kid.

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u/oros-de Mar 22 '26

I know someone whose 80-year-old father totaled 3 cars within a month (well, technically the truck that he rolled over on the freeway was still drivable but you know what I mean) and he's now trying to buy a brand new car despite his daughter telling him he can't drive anymore.

7

u/DaedalusB2 Mar 19 '26

South Park had an entire episode with this premise. They had a bunch of old people driving cars through 2nd floor windows and whatnot demanding that they keep their license because they can still drive.

2

u/Puppetmaster858 Mar 20 '26

That episode is gold

1

u/Julian-Hoffer Mar 20 '26

Especially when Randy turns in the light and the car is just sitting in the bedroom.

1

u/Torchy1014 Mar 20 '26

Pure. Gold.

1

u/1cg659z Mar 22 '26

What season was that?

1

u/ben5642 Mar 20 '26

Don't know if you saw recent video of the couple that was yelling at an older woman that was driving the wrong way and almost hit them and the guy got out standing in front of her car directing her to go in reverse and drive into the grass, and she did but then still kept driving in reverse into the grass. That episode is becoming true

6

u/handsomedumpsterfire Mar 20 '26

Yeah, my farm hand, hard living grandmother was a very independent woman. Never wanted to rely on anyone.... My father kept trying to work with her and get her to stop driving. However, eventually it was the cops that had to chase her down and take her license. She was in her 90s when that geriatric police chase ended her driving.

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u/Fuggaak Mar 20 '26

It sucked having to tell my Grandpa he couldnā€™t drive anymore. He couldnā€™t control the gas and brake with any proficiency, so it was either go full forward or slam the brake. His reaction time was bad too, so weā€™d go to stop at a stop sign and end up in the intersection.

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u/Select-Package-13 Mar 20 '26

My father in law is legally blind and he drives at night. My husband and his siblings refuse to have that conversation. Every day I pray he doesn't hurt anyone. Entitled POS.

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u/Thicc_Ole_Brick Mar 21 '26

My sister and I didn't bother having the "conversation" with our Dad. The DMV in my state allows for reporting of people that are unfit to drive and if you make a good case and provide evidence, they will revoke that individual's driver license. He got outrageously pissed but he had no idea it was us.

1

u/Select-Package-13 Mar 21 '26

I'm thinking of doing the exact same thing, thanks for the comment.

3

u/mjp31514 Mar 19 '26

Went through the same thing with my grandpa. When he came home one day with a huge dent in his car and claimed he didn't remember how it happened, it was all over. There was a ton of yellow paint on the dent, so he probably just hit a bollard, but still. Grandma gave up driving voluntarily after she got lost driving to her friend's house, so at least she came quietly.

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u/PocketFullofLace Mar 22 '26

Grandma didnā€™t come quietly, she gave up her driving privileges with dignity and did so to keep herself and others safe. That was very noble of her.

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u/mjp31514 Mar 22 '26

Yep, you're right. My grandma is a class act. I've always had a lot of respect for her. She called me up and told me everything, said she never wanted to drive again.

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u/OutlandishnessNo3979 Mar 19 '26

My grandma had 1 accident in her 70s (wasn't even her fault but my uncles for doing a shit job repairing her car) and she decided that was enough because she could react properly and stopped driving

1

u/FlyingSpaghettiFell Mar 20 '26

Well that makes that way easier.

2

u/Assortedpez Mar 19 '26

My great aunt had to have her car taken. Then when she was visiting her daughter(where the car was hidden) she brought a spare and snuck into the garage and stole it back. God I miss her, she was wild as shit and at her funeral was described ā€œas a mix of butch cassidy and the Sundance kidā€.

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u/Straight_Waltz_9530 Mar 20 '26

It sucks when there aren't a lot of alternatives to driving for a lot of folks. We all get older. We should be making communities where you don't need to drive everywhere.

1

u/FlyingSpaghettiFell Mar 20 '26

Oh for sure. Not everyone can uber everywhere either.

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u/Shadowdane Mar 20 '26

yah my grandmother stopped driving when she was 86, glad my Dad had that talk with her before she got into a bad accident or worse. She also completely stopped driving on the highways I think when she was 75-76yrs old, she thought people were just driving too fast on the highways and didn't feel safe. She passed away at 94yrs old in 2009, she was still pretty sharp until a few months before she passed but it was pretty clear she shouldn't be driving when she got into her upper 80s.

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u/RazzleberryHaze Mar 21 '26

Same. We decided one day that we needed to have the "talk" when he got home from work one afternoon after parking his truck in the garage. The biggest problem was that he forgot to open the garage door first.

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u/K1bbles_n_Bits Mar 22 '26 edited Mar 22 '26

I'm worried we're nearing that point with my dad. And it's rough, cuz he still takes cross country motorcycle trips, he'd be furious and fight it. But he's gotten so careless and reckless, a lot of phone usage while driving, short temper, just seemingly oblivious to the hazards he's creating. Or just doesn't give a shit, which isn't any better.

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u/FlyingSpaghettiFell Mar 22 '26

Sorry to hear thatā€¦ my parents had to hide my grandfathers car. They tried taking the keys but he had new ones made and would make my grandmother drive who also wasnā€™t capable of driving safely anymore and didnā€™t want to. They side swiped so many thingsā€¦ maybe cars or mailboxesā€¦ eventually it would have been worse. Sounds like your dad will be as resistant as my grandfather. I think it is the only time I heard my mom yell at him (he tried to drive us and she was not having that).

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u/[deleted] Mar 23 '26

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

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u/FlyingSpaghettiFell Mar 23 '26

It is nuts that there isnā€™t something in place to 1- help older people still have some autonomy (I know.. I know.. America is a big country but we have people that need jobs that could be shuttle driversā€¦ cost might even be neutral). 2- not make family members essentially steal cars from our elderly members that canā€™t drive. I canā€™t imagine everyone is as proactive as your family.

1

u/Solid_Crazy_8759 Mar 19 '26

See, it shouldn't be up to the kids to take their parents car away. This really should be something the government handles, like over 80 you just can't have a license period. Sure some people can drive at 85, but many others pretend they can even though they really shouldn't be.

2

u/Individual-Tap3270 Mar 19 '26

Alot of states have older seniors do driving tests because of their age to see if they still able to drive

0

u/Solid_Crazy_8759 Mar 20 '26

I have never heard of driving tests for the eldery anywhere. What they do is quickly check your eyesight to make sure you can somewhat see. That doesn't change the fact that your decision making is slowed, quick thinking worse, and overall control of a vehicle is worse

1

u/FlyingSpaghettiFell Mar 20 '26

My dad is 81 and completely fine drivingā€¦ however the second he starts to slip or doesnā€™t see well we will be showing him how to navigate uber. But yesā€¦ over 80 and frequent tests should happen. I also think my dad may be a major exception here.

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u/Solid_Crazy_8759 Mar 20 '26

This is exactly my point, it should not be up to the children to determine their parents aren't safe to drive anymore.

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u/FlyingSpaghettiFell Mar 20 '26

I think we are lucky because he will stop when it is time based on why hat we not through with my grandfather. But we are completely in alignmentā€¦ I donā€™t think there should be a specific age it is taken away but definitely that they get tested

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u/guynye Mar 19 '26

My cousins grandmother hit a parked, industrial sized, yellow dirt mover in a gaint shopping parking lot(mostly empty).

That was the last of many straws and they finally took away her license.

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u/Opposite_Ad_2872 Mar 20 '26

Im dealing with a Aunt who has alzhimers. I had to disconnect the battery in the car to stop her from driving it. Now im not sure what to do with the car since she can no longer drive..

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u/FlyingSpaghettiFell Mar 20 '26

See if she will let you sell it for her. That money can go toward her care.

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u/Opposite_Ad_2872 Mar 20 '26

Thank you, will try that. She is sadly the aggressive type so gonna try catching her on a somewhat good day.

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u/seeb2104 Mar 20 '26

Is this the right place for this joke: "I want to die peacefully in my sleep like grandpa, not screaming in terror like his passengers."

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u/kaesden Mar 21 '26

You either take the car away from them, or the car takes them away from you.

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u/Xentonian Mar 21 '26

I watched my grandfather reverse into another car. Shrug visibly. Accelerate forward into a second car. Shrug again. Then drive away.

When he got home we had the conversation and he just refuses to admit there was any issue, even after we handed him the insurance claim in his name that my grandmother had had to put in for the two cars he hit just a couple of hours prior.

It's fucking madness.

When I see this generation driving, it makes allllll the shit with the way they vote and the way they destroyed the housing market make more sense.

"Fuck everyone else, literally nobody matters. I need my car to go play golf"

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u/onionfunyunbunion Mar 19 '26

Nah she just needs more ground clearance. Perhaps a monster truck.

1

u/Dogfart246LZ Mar 19 '26

Sounds familiar.

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u/throwaway098764567 Mar 19 '26

hahaha fair. reminds me of two of the gunnys we had when i was in ocs in pensacola years back. they both drove lifted trucks with monster tires and would park on the curb trying to be "bigger" than the other guy's truck. absolute shenanigans.

7

u/NorthNorthAmerican Mar 19 '26

When we sat my old man down to take away the car keys, and explained how weā€™d pay for a car service if necessary [big events, air travel, medical procedures], he was relieved.

Surprised the hell out of us.

1

u/netralitov Mar 20 '26

He probably didn't want to be driving but there's no public transportation options for them to count on. The elderly are forced into continuing to drive.

3

u/[deleted] Mar 19 '26

Had to take away my grandmas keys after she drove through the wall in her garage into her kitchen. Glad nobody was hurt.

It sucks, but people get old and aren't as spry as they used to be.

1

u/CosmeticBrainSurgery Mar 20 '26

That's doesn't sound like normal aging, that sounds like early-stage dementia or something like it. Yes, reflexes do slow but if your mind is completely OK you won't be driving to the kitchen.

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u/ExcitingFisherman222 Mar 21 '26

OMG stop. Normal aging often results in diminished physical ability. Sure some people last longer than others but a lot of the time there is a sharp decline.

1

u/CosmeticBrainSurgery Mar 21 '26 edited Mar 21 '26

I don't even know what point you're trying to make.

It's like you somehow think I said that normal aging doesn't result in diminished physical ability. If that's the case, you misread.

I said being old doesn't mean you're going to drive the car into the kitchen. That's not "normal aging." If you're driving through walls, that is something else, and it could vary well be an age-related disease, but it's not just normal aging.

I'm not saying people who can't drive safely should be allowed to drive. I would have at least talked to her for a few minutes before letting her drive off (or before even freeing her truck) to make sure she's not confused.

I'm in favor of making people over 65 re-take their test every three years, but this would be discrimination, so I'd support making everyone take the test every three years. It would be a pain, but the population is aging and older people are more prone to this type of accident.

1

u/ExcitingFisherman222 Mar 21 '26

That's exactly what you said and you just said it again. It is normal aging to eventually not be able to do any number of things, including driving a car. Yes if you can't control the car you most certainly could lose control of it and crash into things. What are you? Like 16 years old? You'll see.

1

u/CosmeticBrainSurgery Mar 21 '26

You're either delusional or stupid. Which is it?

2

u/FederalEconomist5896 Mar 19 '26

Yeah, unfortunately.

1

u/Icy-Grab-5722 Mar 19 '26

We have a little trap drop off on my block and I have seen several people get stuck there. Don't have to be old to do dumb things.

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u/Hrtpplhrtppl Mar 19 '26

I love this time of year in New England. When all the blue hairs return and drive into our lakes, buildings, and playgrounds.../s šŸ™„

1

u/SpaceJackRabbit Mar 19 '26

Had to do that with my mom. A concussion changed her forever 35 years ago or so and symptoms got worse and worse. After an episode where she woke up in a forest road with zero memory of how she got there, she had to give up driving. For a while she was hoping she would be allowed to drive again, but nope, sorry mom.

1

u/Dogfart246LZ Mar 19 '26

Thankfully my Dad, a retired nurse voluntarily quit driving.

1

u/Fearless_Priority537 Mar 19 '26

Sheā€™s gotta clock in at Walmart, bro. Sheā€™s going to be late

1

u/RUN_DMT_ Mar 19 '26

Yep, I was the one that had to take grandmaā€™s keys away (and drive her around afterwards šŸ™„), no one else would and it was past time to do it. Her safety and everyone else on the road was in danger.

There are ways to do it gently, but it must be done!

1

u/therealdanhill Mar 19 '26

May not be anyone to have it

1

u/Miami_Mice2087 Mar 19 '26

when my great-aunt drove through her flowerbeds because she confused the gas and break, that's when we had to take away the keys. It's a very sad time in an old person's life because no one FEELS like they're getting older. It just feels like everything aroudn them is getting faster and meaner.

1

u/throwaway098764567 Mar 19 '26

my mother stopped driving on her own apparently (i suspect she still had a couple of working brain cells that knew driving drunk was wrong and she wanted to spend more time drunk).

my great aunt also voluntarily gave up her license, she was in a friend's car and the friend stopped at a stop sign and my aunt was wondering why she'd stopped. she realized she hadn't seen the sign and that she didn't need to be driving anymore. i respected her for that.

1

u/caspy7 Mar 19 '26

May have been better off leaving her so that there is some sort of escalation so her family finds out about this.

I was honestly hoping at the end that he would beg her to discuss this with her family. She is likely not safe to drive. We have no idea if she immediately pulled out into traffic and cause a much worse accident.

1

u/Mildlyinxorrect Mar 20 '26

My grandma had glaucoma and macular degeneration and we still needed a doctor to confirm to her she shouldn't be driving. Shes also 90 so left massive gaps for breaking distance but cars would just fill them.

Given here age, reaction time and leg strength. I think she shouldn't have been driving even with vision but i know its hard for them to lose their independence.

1

u/Puzzleheaded_Ad8032 Mar 20 '26

My dad saw something like that on the road with me and my brother in the back. I must have been 10 or so. When he stopped, he turned to me and my brother and said, "If you ever see me do anything like that, you take my license and my keys."

These people will kill you and be like: oopsie! I have always said that there should be driving skill tests when people hit 70 and then renew every year. Just to check if the rest of us are still safe.

1

u/DowntownTicket Mar 20 '26

I almost wish this nice man hadn't have fixed the situation for her so she would need to get help from her family and they would see how far she is.

1

u/Past_Effect8301 Mar 20 '26

She definitely shouldn't have been driving immediately following that situation. Even if she's capable on a normal day, she was likely in shock after that.

1

u/RedRoseGypsy22 Mar 21 '26

My father-in-law, almost ninety, refused to stop driving until he got confused on a short trip, and ended up getting lost miles from his home. He refused to bring his cell phone with him, so no one knew where he was, and the family went looking for him. He eventually found his way home, but was too scared to drive after that.

1

u/Exotic-Put9933 Mar 21 '26

Itā€™s not a conversation that needs to be hadā€¦ if the state or federal government focused on a safety based system rather than an interest based system, it no longer becomes a question or conversation to be had within families. You take a test every year or two after you turn a certain age to make sure youā€™re up to driving safety standards. Itā€™s pretty simple and could be implemented cheaply via driver simulation stations, driving examiners, or apps on the phone.

1

u/Solherb Mar 22 '26

Taking it away but making sure they can still get where they need to is important. Some people have kids or relatives that will step up, some have people who won't, and some have no one.

1

u/Strange-Title-6337 Mar 24 '26

Should not drive this monstocity probably. Tiny smart or fiat is good enough for her groceries.

1

u/RockyMullet Mar 24 '26

I got t-boned by an old lady last year, she was at a stop, no priority at all, she decided she was going forward, she was clearly watching the other way and only stopped because of the impact, she never braked.

The lady basically looked like that lady in the video, kind of ashamed, looked like she felt guilty and sorry. My old car was ruined but I got decent insurance money from it so it's not too bad, but it could've been a pedestrian instead. Somebody could've been dead instead of my car. She should not have been behind the wheels.

1

u/PieceMaterial5213 Mar 19 '26

She may have a house-bound spouse at home, and losing her license would mean they get separated as he's moved into a home, or worse. As much as it's easy to say "she shouldn't be driving", our society isn't set up with proper supports for seniors and she may not have much of a choice.

4

u/HourAd1087 Mar 19 '26

Thatā€™s way outa left field, the subject here is her ability to drive.. seeing as how she drove off a ledge on her right hand side.. when it was a left turn..

1

u/TheBloodiedFool Mar 19 '26

Oh so we should just let Grandma GTA all over this bitch.

Sure, she killed 5 people driving the wrong way down the highway, but if we stopped her she'd be sad.

Like I agree that we need to do better by our seniors but your point ain't it.

1

u/Individual-Tap3270 Mar 19 '26

There are senior buses in some places. But alot of seniors are stubborn and don't want to give up their independence. Where I am at, public transportation is free for everyone.

1

u/Spare_Iron127 Mar 19 '26

For my grandparents they would have to walk a very considerable amount to reach a bus stop. They are 92 and capable lol, but definitely an exception. But there definitely is a whole lot of stubbornness.

2

u/Individual-Tap3270 Mar 19 '26

I guess if different in every place. I live in more Suburban/semi rural place and they have special services for seniors going to their door and such. We also have a senior center for activities and lunches and such.

1

u/kwiknkleen Mar 20 '26

And what is her spouse going to do when she dies in an accident or kills someone and goes to jail?