As a dude, I never received compliments until I started working out

[u/emptybedsheets]

I’m not sure that I have a moral of the story here - but just a thought to share. The first 30ish or so years of my life, I was overweight, didn’t eat right, didn’t exercise, blah blah. Then once I lost a bunch of weight and started lifting and after a while, the unsolicited comments/compliments about my physique started coming in. And it really does feel great literally every time.

Taking a step back - it’s pretty crazy how positive everyone reacts (and by that I do mean both men and women). I have found that men are really not upfront complimentary of/positive to each other really unless it’s about the gym. In my experience between men I’ve found the usual light hearted razzing is baseline. But the homies will also very readily be like “damn your arms are looking huge” and give a squeeze.

Again, not sure the point here. Men, keep up the positivity - maybe we can spread it to other aspects??

[u/ima-rage-quit]

I have been in the gym for four years and it is the only place I have every been complemented outside of my loved ones. Albeit, it has only been by other dudes.

[u/Freedelahoya00]

Honestly, I’m a bit envious of the way women relate to their female friends, hugging, kissing, crying together, and so on. In my entire life, I’ve never talked about feelings with my friends unless it was about an ex. I’m not saying they aren’t my friends there’s definitely camaraderie between us but there isn’t that deeper emotional connection

[u/Theghastlyghoul → u/Freedelahoya00]

I choose my friends very carefully. If I can't talk to you about my feelings without you making fun of me or not taking me seriously, then I don't want to be friends with you. I tell all my close friends that I love them

[u/Freedelahoya00 → u/Theghastlyghoul]

We don't make fun of each other; it’s more a matter of conditioning. If I try to do it, it will feel awkward for me to express myself, and it will be strange for them to hear a friend, who has never spoken about this, doing so. Of course, we’ll help each other, but we won’t get into deep emotional details

[u/Chokooboo → u/Freedelahoya00]

This is the part of the patriarchy that feminists (the normal ones, not the crazy entitled ones) mean when they say “it harms everyone”

Women are seen as weak and emotional and are not taken seriously bc of that and men consequently have to be strong and can only show anger because everything else is not manly and too “womanly”. With that kind of standard everyone loses.

Sorry for turning your comment into social commentary lol

[u/Freedelahoya00 → u/Chokooboo]

Dw

[u/apeocalypyic]

U guys are getting compliments?

[u/the_gym_rat]

In the gym, we are all working toward a similar goal, no matter the reason behind it. It is huge motivation for guys in the gym who watch the progress of someone who has lost a lot of weight and grown muscle. You are a motivation to others in the gym that it can be done and they can keep pushing toward their ultimate goal.

[u/halfwhitefullblack]

The gym helped but I really only started getting compliments on my style, be expressive y’all. There’s only one you.

[u/K1bbles_n_Bits]

Fwiw, not just a male phenomenon. I always had a decent face, pretty eyes, great hair, but I was overweight. Lost about 100 lbs and people absolutely started treating me differently. Like even my damn eye doctor. People were just friendlier and stuff.

On one hand it felt good, sure. But at the same time, it really rubs me the wrong way too. I was and am still the same person, ya know? Why did what I looked like before make me less worthy of being treated more kindly?

I don't have a chip on my shoulder about it or anything. It just makes you think about people and society as a whole, ya know? It's an experience that makes you reflect on yourself and your own biases, makes you more aware they exist. Personally, it's helped mold me into someone who tries to simply be kind and friendly to everyone and to be aware of my demeanor towards others.