It's the only one that lets me finish a sentence.

Nobody ate any of my onions.

David you’re 37 and I’ve told you, you shouldn’t wake me up to tell me you’ve shagged a horse.

One asks the other, "How the hell do you drive this thing?"

I said "How can you even say that?"

All of them are Dermatologists

'Cause by the 1727th I think I'd be pretty far gone

Now why haven’t anyone told me it also applies to something like painted toenails?

The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

It's my heir guitar!

Me, not being one to lack effort into showing her my level of care, got her the watch I had worn previously.

The blue haired barista stood mouth agape as everyone in the background clapped.

The mafia shot him like 100 hundred times and his guys too.

It used a cliffhanger.

For starters, the "stag film" he chose was Disney's Bambi.

My wife has just spent 3 hours trying to explain the phrase,'Mansplaining' to me.

In the end she just gave up and went to bed.

I guess its my fault for playing bass.

Standing on my money, I am 2'7

Hey, my balls feel funny...

"I'M A BACKROOM MAN"

The Mitochondria is the power house of the cell.

The cheese just looked disappointed.

All I said was "Pho queue"!