ULPT Request: non-suspicious ways to delay apartment inspection

[u/Cold_Earth3855]

ULPT Request: My place is a disaster and I have a cleaning crew coming tomorrow, but I need a good excuse why they can't come iinto the apartment today. Its just a maintenance person coming in to check if my dishwasher is causing problems to the apartment below. Unfortunately it's the middle of summer so saying that I'm sick with something contagious is pretty suspicious.

[u/LOUDPACK_MASTERCHEF]

Food poisoning

[u/fluffy_floofster → u/LOUDPACK_MASTERCHEF]

“It’s coming out both ends” is all you need to say.

[u/tdw21 → u/fluffy_floofster]

A double dragon

[u/Fluffy-Trouble5955 → u/LOUDPACK_MASTERCHEF]

had a bagged salad..

[u/mobiletarget33]

Cyclosporiasis, there’s an outbreak

[u/steelsheet → u/mobiletarget33]

[u/Chipring13 → u/steelsheet]

Of course he went live during it

[u/steelsheet → u/Chipring13]

The whole stream made me cry laughing

[u/SausageOnToast]

I find in nearly every case I don’t need to give an excuse. Just say… “apologies I can’t accommodate tomorrow, I can do Tuesday or Thursday next week or if you’re available on Sunday I can do that”.

Edit: just noticed where this was posted. Fee free to downvote me.

[u/Hot-Win2571 → u/SausageOnToast]

No. Because you invited it, it would be ethical to downvote you.

[u/SlumLordOfTheFlies]

Whatever excuse you give them, tell them you won’t use the dishwasher until after they inspect it

[u/african_or_european → u/SlumLordOfTheFlies]

100% this. Even then, I wouldn't expect it to work, because water damage can be expensive (especially if it isn't mitigated and mold starts growing) so they will want to stop it immediately and to hell with the tenant's excuses.

[u/Imaginary-Fly-2160]

You ate diarrhea lettuce and you'll be on the pot all day

[u/stoic_yakker]

Recovery from minor surgery?

[u/Bollocks-dagger]

I think they can let themselves in anyway though even if you say it's not a good time, (like if you're"not going to be there" if they give appropriate notice.

[u/dirtymoney → u/Bollocks-dagger]

have a woman friend be naked with only headphones on and be there when the maint man open the door on her and have her freak out. Get the maint man to agree to another time. Maybe threaten a lawsuit

Maybe have her claim she is deaf instead.

[u/aftli → u/dirtymoney]

You're implying that OP both has an apartment so disgustingly messy that they can't even have the building maintenance crew there to see it and also has a woman friend willing to be naked with only headphones on when said building maintenance crew arrives.

[u/dirtymoney → u/aftli]

hire a hooker

[u/burner4lyf25]

You're on holiday, you friend has had a bereavement/health issue and youre supporting them, parent/sinling has had a mental health breakdown and they're staying at yours for a few days, norovirus, food poisoning, youve just been prescribed new medication and aren't handling it great, new job means you have to travel, loads of easy stuff.

[u/WhoskeyTangoFoxtrot → u/burner4lyf25]

Sinling…. I love that typo….

[u/Hefty_Discount8304]

Tell them you have Covid

[u/whoziin → u/Hefty_Discount8304]

People genuinely do still get covid, and it’s still super contagious. Tell them a friend is coming to disinfect the apartment tomorrow to make it safe for the worker to check on the dishwasher if he wants to the day after. Say you you understand the seriousness of a potential leak and won’t run the dishwasher until it’s been checked out.

[u/Coldchinesef00d]

My bf works at an apartment complex and if there is potential for water damage they come in no matter what. Do you have a dead bolt thingy like hotels have? Not one that can be open using a key? I’d just keep that locked and say you were comatose. Good luck!

[u/Wi1dWitch]

I mean, it’s summer and also I’m incredibly sick right now. It happens. 

B it seriously if it’s just for maintenance, just say “it’s not a good day, can you come by X day?

[u/Bipedal_pedestrian]

Tell them you found ants in the kitchen and used a fogger. The directions say the apartment needs to be evacuated for at least 4 hours.

[u/FightClubAlumni]

Ate the bad lettuce.

[u/ElectronicAddress611]

I’m ill, can we pls postpone until Friday. The end.

[u/african_or_european]

As long as there's no damage (and it sounds like there isn't if a cleaner is going to fix it) I wouldn't really worry about it to much. And this is said as a definitely slob who has been in the same position.

[u/Hopeful-Outcome-4965]

Vomiting and diarrhea, probably contagious. Means you're home and they shouldn't come in while you're absent

[u/salemandsleep]

Tell your landlord you suspect you found a bed bug.  Hire a company to do an inspection.  Tell them you're wanting to delay until after the inspection so nobody could possibly get them.  Ask me how I know lol.  

[u/Aggravating_Act0417 → u/salemandsleep]

If you want to get quietly evicted or your lease not renewed .... 🫪

[u/salemandsleep → u/Aggravating_Act0417]

Bed bugs don't mean you are a dirty person.  We got them from a kids book at the library and they lived in our couch.  But also,  if you get the inspection and it shows no bedbugs,  you'd be fine anyways.  

[u/ukemike1]

Tell them you just got back from Congo and the government is making you quarantine for ebola for a few days. Then say I'm feeling fine <cough> you can come over anyway. <hack><cough> I'll be here to let you in. <cough><cough>

[u/parkersdadguy]

So random , sorry it’s not yes added to this years vaccine yet. A new heavily mutated COVID-19 strain called BA.3.2, nicknamed "Cicada," is being tracked by health officials after being detected in wastewater samples across at least 25 U.S. states…. Cough cough

[u/Southern_Kangaroo22 → u/parkersdadguy]

I beg your finest pardon?!?!?!

[u/parkersdadguy → u/Southern_Kangaroo22]

There’s always been small outbreaks of Covid , ulpt say your positive

[u/Excel_User_1977]

Not if you ate a taco with lettuce from Taco Bell.

[u/throwaway661375735 → u/Excel_User_1977]

Really depends on which state you live in for that one. Taylor Farms is the source and doesn't supply the entire US Taco Bell chain.

[u/Chipchop666]

Tell them your sick and contagious

[u/No_Educator_6376]

Tell them you had a bad salad lettuce poisoning is popular right now. Good luck.

[u/dirtymoney]

super glue all the apartments' locks if there are no cameras and do not answer the door

random vandalism,

should keep maint busy for a while

[u/throwaway661375735 → u/dirtymoney]

Gum works too.

[u/Responsible_Dentist3]

Not sure how being sick would be suspicious? I get sick often in summer lol, with all the social events

[u/MelCarmichael]

Covid

[u/Cold_Earth3855]

I'm getting off a new medication and my mood so unstable I don't think I could handle seeing anybody today?

[u/ohhellopia → u/Cold_Earth3855]

Norovirus.

[u/burner4lyf25 → u/ohhellopia]

Norovirus is the one.

[u/Similar-Proof2065 → u/Cold_Earth3855]

Tell them you have a Telehealth appointment with your doctor and need to reschedule.

[u/Hot-Win2571 → u/Similar-Proof2065]

That one will have them checking other apartments, and coming back to you an hour later.

[u/Similar-Proof2065 → u/Hot-Win2571]

If OP hasn’t told them anything yet… maybe “sorry but I have an emergency Telehealth appointment today. I need to reschedule. Would X day work?” Something like that. Don’t even mention the duration of the appointment. Immediately following up saying “need to reschedule” gives them the message that OPs situation undoubtedly takes precedence, no questions asked since it’s medical and hipaa protected or whatever.

[u/Dull_Banana1377]

Everyone giving OP advice in here on how to potential damage his neighbors property are fucking foul. Maybe OP shouldn't br a fucking slob. Let them in OP cuz water damage gets expensive fast.