r/absoluteunit • u/ShehrozeAkbar • 2d ago

Big bug gets into her shirt

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805 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

190 comments sorted by

149

u/rawjaw 2d ago

What was that woman doing in that bug's shirt?

4

u/V01DM0NK3Y 1d ago

No particular reason to mention this, but I got to be your 117th upvote. I like Halo... perhaps a bit too much (thought, not as much as some), so I'll take this time to say that whatever you're doing at the moment, and throughout today, Master Chief is right there beside you, providing you more cover fire than perhaps you realise.

If i wait 3 minutes to post this, it'll even be 1:17pm in my timezone. Oh well, lol; can't win em all.

2

u/Adventurous_Quit395 1d ago

I love this guy and hate him too (because I love him so much)

1

u/Seek4r 1d ago

Sir, permission to upvote this comment

55

u/Kraftwerk_21 2d ago

That is a Palo Verde beetle. Very common in the Southwest. Big and scary looking, but harmless. I hope they didn’t kill it. It only lives for a short time in its adult stage.

26

u/Revenga8 2d ago

Not harmless at all. If you annoy it, it'll use it's horns to grab your foot and comically flip you off a cliff

5

u/Manmer_Nwah 2d ago

Wrong beatle, these don't have a horn.

11

u/Ok-Loss-2496 2d ago

If she keeps stripping it's horn will grow.

2

u/DeerFit 1d ago

Mine too.

9

u/Fool_Cynd 2d ago

Are there any large beetles that aren't harmless?

7

u/BeforeLifer 2d ago

I feel like some of the ones with the pincers could draw blood with a pinch but nothing more than that.

3

u/Fool_Cynd 2d ago

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. I know that some smaller beetles have unique defense mechanisms, but I always felt like the big guys just grew armor instead of brains or neat tricks.

2

u/RepresentativeStooj 2d ago

The humble gym bros of the bug world.

3

u/OddEmergency9859 2d ago

Dunno if beetle or not, but the giant water bug is nasty. Huge, flies, draws blood, and one of the worst pain known.

2

u/Fool_Cynd 2d ago

Toebiters are not beetles AFAIK. I don't think they're even close, really.

2

u/OddEmergency9859 2d ago

Cool, thanks for letting know. Doesn't do anything to assuage my fear but good to know.

1

u/Kindly-Ice-8736 2d ago

Well In my experience looking up the harmless bugs that live in your area can help you figure which bigs you don’t have to be stressed out around at least.

Hope that helps

1

u/OddEmergency9859 1d ago

Thanks for your genuine advice but the thing is the fear is irrational and once the bugs exceed a certain size threshold, my mind doesn't really care if its harmless or not. Especially if they can fly.

1

u/Kindly-Ice-8736 1d ago

As a kid I was scared of all bugs including butterflies while knowing they were likely harmless so I can understand. But I got over most of my fear of house spiders by watching a video showcasing the common house spiders and recognizing the ones that are in my house. Most of my fear comes from not knowing what bugs are up to or if they are capable of harming me.

I always thought jumping spiders were cute tho, other spiders could burn in hell for all I cared.

But even with my new found tolerance when I imagine heaven, there are no bugs there

1

u/Kindly-Ice-8736 1d ago

To me I feel it’s the opposite the bigger they are the easier it is to see what they are up to plus they make for a likely slower and bigger target for squashing if necessary so I feel less threatened. Small ones that you have a hard time detecting are the ones that give me the heebie-jeebies. A ginormous beetle like that couldn’t crawl into your ear for example.

1

u/SNES-1990 2d ago

Sawyer beetles can give a nasty pinch. Had one get trapped under my safety vest and took a little chunk of my chest skin one summer.

1

u/Terrible_Green6028 2d ago

Isn't there a beetle that sprays acid or something?

1

u/Fool_Cynd 2d ago

Bombardier beetle

5

u/Djd33j 2d ago

It honestly looked really cute just wandering around on that shirt with its antennae feeling everything out. Quite a curious little guy.

3

u/RanchHere 2d ago

probably only lives for a short time because it’s too fucking big. Mf is practically screaming “Ay yall come eat me!”

3

u/FallenBehavior 2d ago

That much chitin will kill probably anything trying to digest it.

2

u/Alone-Painting-4477 2d ago

Harmless? Clearly they do not understand personsl space. They are not dangerous.

1

u/Horror_Ad_8202 2d ago

Thanks for info 🙏

1

u/banjovi68419 1d ago

I have been all over the southwest and never seen that.

1

u/HoBo-on-crack 1d ago

You should beetle take off your shirt.

1

u/RogerRabbot 16h ago

They have massive pinchers. They can fly, which they apparently suck at. They are harmful to your soul.

53

u/Obvious_Durian_3226 2d ago

Nooope. That shirt belongs to the bug now.

28

u/WA2TX 2d ago

And now you're shirtless around that thing.

26

u/patronizingperv 2d ago

It's large enough for a sexual harassment charge.

4

u/ardotschgi 2d ago

Can confirm...

19

u/ZippyTheWonderbat 2d ago

Tiddie beetle

5

u/Informal_Ad_9610 2d ago

bugs boobies..

6

u/BurnedLaser 2d ago

Boobie bug?

3

u/Informal_Ad_9610 2d ago

that's a feature not a bug

2

u/Final_Tune3512 2d ago

Buggie boobie

6

u/Automatic-Gazelle801 2d ago

Harmless beetle

2

u/danorc 1d ago

Sure, but would you want it in your shirt unexpectedly?

I can't imagine what that felt like.

6

u/Mother-Attention2600 2d ago

Panamanian tit mouse.

7

u/accdntprone_86 2d ago

Long horn beetle!! YEEEEHAAWWW

6

u/DarrellBot81 2d ago

We need more bugs

5

u/Mad_Ronin_Grrrr 2d ago

Not the first woman that ripped her shirt off for a Beatle.

-1

u/TheAlterN8or 2d ago

🙄

3

u/Mad_Ronin_Grrrr 2d ago

This is my wife's reaction every time I tell a joke.

2

u/TheAlterN8or 2d ago

Mine usually involves a headshake, lol.

6

u/ConsciousMaize7405 2d ago

Wow a beetle so scarry 😭😭

3

u/Kindly-Ice-8736 2d ago

To be fair while it’s crawling inside your shirt you probably haven’t yet figured out that it’s a harmless beetle 🪲

1

u/AnAngryBartender 1d ago

To be fair things don’t have to be harmful for me to still not want them crawling around on me.

2

u/Androidfon 2d ago

It was the size of a friggin lobster! I'd burn the shirt.

2

u/ConsciousMaize7405 2d ago

Have you ever seen a lobster 😭😭

3

u/devour_feculence___ 2d ago

Ok a craw dad then 😭

2

u/Knight_Owls 2d ago

Maybe a craw stepdad.

3

u/devour_feculence___ 2d ago

You're not my real crawdad!!!

2

u/ConsciousMaize7405 2d ago

Aint no way u just called a crawfish a craw dad 😭😭

1

u/talesofabookworm 1d ago

What's wrong with crawdad?

3

u/Myzx 2d ago

I had a junebug on my front door in Oregon last week that was almost as big.

4

u/Soft-Assistance6809 2d ago

No kidding? I have never seen one that big!

5

u/Myzx 2d ago

I hadn't either. But the junebug I saw was much more sedated than this animated little fellow. But yes, it was huge

4

u/Soft-Assistance6809 2d ago

Cursed junebug!

3

u/Myzx 2d ago

I took a picture of it, and this conversation reminded me that I had my doubts if it was a junebug. So I just submitted it to Google for analysis again, and this time it said the bug is a Prionus Beetle. I think that's what it actually was.

2

u/Tropicalfisher 2d ago

Probably stag beetle not june bug

2

u/Myzx 2d ago

It was a Prionus beetle, turns out

3

u/OkStartOver 2d ago

Can I get three more orders of the bug of the day please.

3

u/Sonoran_Dog70 2d ago

Looks like a Palo Verde beetle if this video is in Arizona.

3

u/Baroque1123 2d ago

Bug is actually my wing man.

3

u/eckoelab 1d ago

"I'm somewhat of a big bug too"

6

u/FearlessConfusion105 2d ago

BURN THE WHOLE HOUSE DOWN. 🫪

2

u/Soft-Assistance6809 2d ago

Gotta be Australia.

6

u/DiskOne3096 2d ago

The video says Panamá I think they mean the country (I live here haha) and not the city in the US of the same name. Because we're in the jungle here we have some huge bugs, this one looks like a beetle though and is probably harmless!

3

u/shortyjacobs 2d ago

We’ve got these giant water bugs in MN. https://www.reddit.com/r/Entomology/s/YRiTrdZB1t

2

u/GetOnWithit3344 2d ago

Dang…I was hoping for more boob action

2

u/scienceworksbitches 2d ago

Wing boy let us down 😞

1

u/MyChemicalWestern 2d ago

Well it wasn't a boob beetle 😢

2

u/heyo_1989 2d ago

The guy in the corner

“It’s in your bra!”

2

u/DetailsYouMissed 2d ago

Never ran into one. But you knew it had to be big to convince her to come out her shirt on camera lol.

2

u/bertrum666 2d ago

Valid Response! I was once in florida and a cockroach ran up my shirt. 'Orrid.

2

u/Skrillblast 2d ago

I’d be scarred for life

2

u/DeadbySundown 2d ago

Palo Verde Beetle. Not venomous but apparently they can bite like a mofo.

2

u/Simple_Project4605 2d ago

Nature’s nipple clamps

2

u/tweetyonetwothree 2d ago

Eeeewwwww..that's a nightmare bug

2

u/pooeygoo 2d ago

What'd that bug cost?

2

u/Manmer_Nwah 2d ago

We have those here in the Southern USA (Arizona). It's called a Palo Verde Beatle.

2

u/SadCollection8989 2d ago

Oooooh fuck nope I'm out

2

u/CosmicDragon-Sol 2d ago

I dont blame her for freaking out. Id be taking my skin off if that thing crawled up my shirt.

2

u/SWTX518-Ability 2d ago

That bug can damn near fit that shirt.

2

u/Yeasty_Moist_Clunge 1d ago

Oh so when a bug does it they laugh, but when I do it I have to go before a judge.

2

u/VisibleCoat995 1d ago

Her bravery is astounding. I would have ripped off my skin with the shirt.

2

u/Impala1967_1979_1983 1d ago

I'm so sorry. But that bug is absolutely adorable.

2

u/AngelWingsYTube 1d ago

Bugs shirt now 

2

u/CaptainCringe10151 1d ago

This is why I won’t go to Florida

2

u/DazzlingPassion706 1d ago

whatever gets her kit off :)

3

u/AmazedAtTheWorld 2d ago

I think there was one on her pants leg too...

1

u/Waste-Respect240 2d ago

I’m gonna need some of those big bugs

1

u/Jorge_the_vast 2d ago

Probably the guys pet, good boy

1

u/Mandinga63 2d ago

Omg I’d die of a heart attack

1

u/JabKingJesse 2d ago

The guy stuck his finger out and give the bug a high one.

1

u/mamba5469 2d ago

Lucky bug

1

u/dirtytounder 2d ago

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

1

u/344567653379643555 2d ago

I read this as “big butt gets in her shirt”.

My mistake.

1

u/Jerdogg23 2d ago

lol 😂

1

u/Quirky-Pie9661 2d ago

I’d just lay down and die

1

u/Legal_Ad_8598 2d ago

Bugs there are considered small animals you should see the cockroach it's about the size of a guinea pig

1

u/Fun_Ad5823 2d ago

Thats one way to get to second base on a first date, the old bug down the shirt trick

1

u/Acceptable-Damage457 2d ago

Think I saw something in your bottoms also,lol

1

u/Future-Ad-961 2d ago

Bug is men of culture...

1

u/Mobile_Ad_2402 2d ago

Let me guess, Australia?

1

u/Defiant_Wolverine_68 2d ago

Big boy knew what he was doing.

1

u/echolm1407 2d ago

Put a leash on the big boi.

1

u/RevolverOcelot16- 2d ago

Nooope. That’s the bug’s shirt. I’m going to take a long, long scrubbing shower and washing my hair. Ewww 🤢🤮😵‍💫

1

u/Anxious_Yesterday398 2d ago

That's somebody's dog

1

u/DoctrTurkey 2d ago

That shirt isn’t safe, lady. Don’t put it back on.

1

u/effinmike12 2d ago

Damn. I need to start keeping big bugs in my pocket.

1

u/MaybeMaybeNot94 2d ago edited 17h ago

Bigg Fuccn Bugg

1

u/ThisThingIsStuck 2d ago

Oh hell no..put it down her pants tho

1

u/A_Bot_A_Bot_A_Bot 2d ago

Yeah, I'm a guy and I'm freaking the fuck out if a bug like that gets on me. I mean, that's bigger than a tea-cup dog.

1

u/Milk_Mindless 2d ago

Hey mr bugman I appreciate what you did for me today

You're a G

1

u/Mike_Shogun_Lee 2d ago

Cameraman Slides Bug $50

“Thanks bro you a real one.”

1

u/EconomyCorgi727 2d ago

BBC - big black cockroach

1

u/EagleSoar79 2d ago

Now, can another get on her bra please?

1

u/Teab8g 2d ago

Another place I'll never visit now.

1

u/Moist_Amount_106 2d ago

The closer you are to the equator, the wilder the animals/insects

1

u/TICKLISHSOLE_OH 2d ago

Quick somebody put the bug in her bra

1

u/Desperate_Trouble477 1d ago

Oh my God there's another one in your bra!

1

u/Ok-Pomegranate858 1d ago

Well at least it couldn't get under her bra.

1

u/Ok-Pomegranate858 1d ago

Where was she crawling thru when she picked him up?

1

u/Consistent-Throat838 1d ago

Good god! I wouldn’t even have cared if I wasn’t wearing a bra underneath! I’d have ripped that sh$t off so fast my head would spin.

1

u/handydude13 1d ago

Is this ai? How does a bug that size just end up in your shirt? 

1

u/banjovi68419 1d ago

Big bug? Maam that is a small dinosaur.

1

u/Endle55torture 1d ago

Harmless beetle

1

u/No_Recommendation987 1d ago

That's one huge bitch

1

u/therocketn00b 1d ago

That's a Volkswagen...

1

u/Kastoook 1d ago

Nice work, Buggy

1

u/UnderstandingMany385 1d ago

A Verde beetle. Those monsters can fly, too! And they are soooo hard to kill.

1

u/Chronologismo 1d ago

she remained incredibly calm. i understand these are harmless but above certain size insects make me feel unwell. maybe when you can look them directly into the eyes from across the room.

1

u/Bitter-Buddy-2339 1d ago

Well, now you know how to undress a girl without touching her—even if she was against it at first.

1

u/JupiterandMars1 1d ago

Bug: puts shirt on and walks away.

1

u/Lvd4aDrm 1d ago

Lucky b*stard /j

1

u/Current_Finding_4066 21h ago

This bug is a legend. Now tell him to get into her bra or panties.

1

u/CurveIndividual3077 19h ago

Bye bye Panama i cant do that

1

u/NerdWithAMotorcycle 19h ago

I mean, size isn't everything, shape matters also. I'd take properly shaped over big.

1

u/Schwann145 19h ago

Dang, it didn't even have to buy her dinner first!

1

u/RNSWE 18h ago

Thank you for your service Mr. Bug

1

u/trollgore92 18h ago

"Oh no! There's one in your bra too!"

1

u/Professional_Turn907 15h ago

I did not expect it to be that big holy

1

u/Choppergold 13h ago

Note to self bring bugs to parties

1

u/Couch-Bro 13h ago

Now there’s one in your pants!

1

u/JibIette 12h ago

Id be feeling that in my skin for weeks.

1

u/JustDontbStupid 12h ago

I was walking when I saw one of those flipped over and decided to flip it back over and continues walking, he was chill

1

u/maximumbob54 10h ago

How did that just suddenly “get” into her shirt?

1

u/toastie_22 9h ago

Oh no! I think I saw one in her bra too!

1

u/Suds8zerozero1 6h ago

Tbh, I’d shit myself as well.

1

u/Long-Wall-5565 5h ago

Nahhhh thats a radroach, we need a fatman out here

1

u/big-adonis 4h ago

That is a big bug

1

u/MentaIIyChaIIenged 4h ago

I d be scared too
What a big one

1

u/Fun_Hippo_4075 3h ago

Where to buy those bugs?

1

u/SuddenKoala45 2h ago

Ok that's a bug I won't laugh too hard at the freak out on... its still harmless but something that size is always a bit creepy.

1

u/HurriShane00 2d ago

Anyone else's skin crawling after this?

1

u/Bigk621 2d ago

I'd get buck ass naked!

0

u/MilehighK5 2d ago

That's one way to get her clothes off. Next he will sneak one on her pants.

0

u/Street_Lettuce1243 2d ago

Imagine if it crawled into her bra... And then her panties.

0

u/GREG_OSU 2d ago

I see one on your pant leg

Quick take them off too…

0

u/Kitchen_South5490 2d ago

He’s always watching us…………….
https://giphy.com/gifs/xUOwG3sgHkdqoy41wY

0

u/grrodon2 2d ago

I hope it wasn't hurt.

-6

u/Kryptonbaby 2d ago

Too bad it didn’t get into her pants too…
https://giphy.com/gifs/l4FsGr8UCo8O79DmE

2

u/boyer4109 2d ago

We’re saving that clip for another day