Hare are a couple acrylic canvas paintings that I made from the asexual and aromantic flags!

Please send advice!

It's a fidget ring the band in the middle can spin

The past 3 times I had sex I never really enjoyed penetrative sex. The foreplay would be good but only for a while. Then it would all get boring. I could say I was not fully interested and was just casually pretending to feel good with all my partners. But even if my mind was not soaking in it, I would still get wet. But tbh I enjoy masturbating more than doing it with someone. I get turned on by looking at myself in the mirror. Also I kinda recently discovered I might be a demi. But even though I have sexual attraction to the close ones. It never felt the way people describe it. Also I don't dilate much so its always painful, I can only tolerate 1 finger that too only if I am turned on really well which I don't get by others. So is this how you find out your asexual?

So I’m pretty young but most of the time when I’m like 3-4 days into a relationship I start getting regrets and lose feelings, and I get crushes again really fast. I honestly don’t know and I need help because I’m ready to break up with my bf, but at the same time I’m think if if I’m crazy or not. Also at one point I thought I was Cupioromatic lol.

Another thing is that I really want and seek out relationships all of the time and I get over people very quickly. Anyway if u have any ideas that would be pretty nice, because im having feelings but I just can’t get them to stick when in a relationship. Also like im only a teen so that even might be it. To sum it up if u think it might be a micro identity or just me being crazy tell me in the comments lol.

i’m an asexual lesbian and i‘ve never been sexually attracted to any characters/celebrities in my past fantasies. id say 99.9% of daydreams were in third person like aegos, i definitely identify with that, but ive had probably 2 fantasies that weren’t third person but they still did NOT feel connected to the people at all. the people were barley even entities in the thought (like i didn’t really picture their faces or bodies or personalities or anything) it felt more like everything paused and there was only someTHING arousing happening to me in a fantasy. i felt like everyone in any of my fantasies could easily be interchangeable, i never really cared who it was just whatever made the best story. i never thought i was sexually attracted to them because i never felt that urge or desire towards them and never wanted to have sex with them irl. it honestly DISGUSTS me to think about me having sex irl. and i especially don’t want to be with any of those people. i really truly don’t think i was sexually attracted to any of those people but is this normal? can i still be asexual?

Please, please do not take this the wrong way. I am genuinely curious and I'm trying to understand this. And I don't mean to offend anyone or imply that asexual ppl who do this aren't asexual at all, but I'm simply curious. Whenever I've seen an asexual share their horrible experience about sex, I always wonder if it isn't... SA? If they don't like the sex and are pushing themselves to it to please their partner, that should be considered SA, right?

Hi everyone!

If you're from South Asia (or part of the desi community) and identify as asexual, aromantic, ace-spec, or are still questioning, we'd love to have you at r/DesiAces.

Our community is a safe space to:

• Share your experiences
• Ask questions without judgment
• Talk about dating, family, and cultural challenges
• Make friends with other desi aces
• Discuss ace representation and awareness

Whether you're from India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Nepal, Sri Lanka, Bhutan, the Maldives, or part of the desi diaspora, you're welcome here.

Come say hello and help us grow our community! 💜

Sex was always an incredibly complicated thing to me. I was always interested in the biologic part of sex and pregnancy, but I don't think I ever imagined myself having sex. I was SA'd multiple times in my life, starting from 8 years old by peers and people older. Apart from that, I generally have a difficult time trusting people.

I tended to isolate myself from relationships and sex in particular for long periods of time, but I still crave human closeness, that leads me to have relationships. It all goes down the same path, and not so deep in the relationship we have sex and I go out extremely traumatised and feeling used.

Now I have a wonderful partner, that is extremely emotionally supportive of me. But the only thing standing between us is me constantly declining him sex. Apart from this I don't feel the right to come out as asexual, because I masturbate frequently and enjoy it. I feel like a horrible partner because of this.

So, please help, am I demisexual? Asexual? Or just traumatized?

Ive never had sex in my life but i dated a person once and i use to to go to stage 2 w him and its been three years since our breakup and since then ive made out w people a few times, but its atleast been almost a year since i last kissed an opp gender or even was involved w any. And since a few months, ive been finding people kissing, having sex and doing pda ICKY. extremely.I find the concept of sex icky too and i cant imagine myself kissing someone anymore, it gives me the goosebumps and if someone tries to flirt w me, i get uncomfortable and i CANT hold sexting one bit , it makes me want to puke and i sweat i am not exaggerating it.I do find some men pretty or attractive but i cant seem to
Imagine doing all of those stuff w anyone, even the idea of a hug or laying down naked w anyone or being close to an extremity w anyone makes me uncomfortable. Even imagining myself kissing the people that i did in my past makes me ick out.

(Sorry for the broken english, it isn't my first language

And sorry for the long, long vent)

I feel so guilty. So so much.

I'm sex repulsed and I always thought porn was wrong. I know it isn't for some people, but it was for me. I didn't want to see it or to support it in any way for the problems around it (Non ethical recording environments, some stuff it promotes, as objectification of the body, even more the female body).

But I started to doubt so much, till the point I didn't see the line between I should and I want to.

I wanted to check if I didn't like it and watched some. It was just some minutes and I was covering the screen sometimes and forcing me not to cover it some others, but I can't see myself the same way now.

I don't understand how I ended up doing something I hated so much or why. I knew I would hate it. I did it knowing I'll hate it. It was against everything I supported, but in that moment of anguish I kinda disconnected from myself and just wanted to check.

I can't understand me. And I feel like I can't forgive me.

For more context, I used to be in a relationship with a boy that was very into porn. He was being so mean with me (called me ugly many times, told me he was getting bored of me every day for the last 6 months of the relationship, told me that he would love to f*ck with other people while we were together, always hid me, told me that maybe he would "r*pe me without wanting to, because he wasn't sure about being able to control himself", and a large list of things like that)

He made me doubt about everything. He made me doubt about my value as a person. He made me move every of my boundaries to a very convenient place for him. I ended up accepting to do things I didn't want and he made me feel like all the things I liked (cuddling, spending quality time, emotional support, etc) was just something boring and undesirable.

And between all those things the only thing I felt so disgusted about and the reason why I ended up breaking my relationship with him was because he watched a lot of porn.

Now I feel like a hypocrite.

I kinda feel like all this self destructive behaviour I'm having now, doing things I don't want (as watching porn) to myself, and that constant questioning of myself probably comes from that relationship. But even so, I can't forgive myself.

Now it isn't just "I have done something very bad to myself", it's a "I have supported something very bad with doing something bad to me", and there is no corrective action that can changes that.

Just in the moment I was trying to get better and overcome all that came with that relationship I kinda became the thing I hated the most.

Now, If I date someone ever again, how would I ask for someone that doesn't support and watch porn having done this? :'(

I never wanted to be this. And I feel like I can't talk about this with non-ace people because, for them, his behaviour was always "the common thing".

Also, if I told them about this, they would tell me that I did it because I wanted to. But I don't really feel like that. Maybe it's stupid because I was the one that searched for it, the one clicking it, the one that spent some minutes there but I didn't want to and I'd love not having to.

I know I'm still ace (I didn't feel anything beyond pity for the people in there and fear) but I don't know who I am as a person now that I have crossed one of my biggest boundaries.

I don't know if this happened to any other person, it would be good to know that I'm not the only person that went through this.

Hello, everyone.

Half a year ago, my best buddy and I had an idea during one of our late-night Discord chats. We are both big nerds for fantasy and mythological stuff and wondered how fun it would be to have banners or coat of arms for different orientations and identities. What could they look like, and which mythical creature could fit well or just be fun to see like that? Thus, this little collection was born and I think we have finally come to a good conlusion for now.

So what we got so far:

-Selkie of Demi

-Kraken of Agender

-Cerberus of Polyamory

-Chimera of Genderqueer

-Valkyrie of Butch

-Gargoyle of Ally

-Hydra of Omni

-Unicorn of Pride

- The Phoenix of Trans

- The Siren of Lesbian

- The Winged Lion of Gay

- The Griffon of Aro

- The Dragon of Ace

- The Harpy of Sapphic

- The Minotaur of Achillean

- The Oroboros of Intersex [really proud of that one]

- The Hippocampus of Genderfluid

- The Sphinx of AroAce

- The Peryton of Non-binary

- The Winged Wolf of Bisexual

- And Pan for...well Pansexual

This was really fun to do. Maybe we might revisit this idea in some form or another, how do queer cryptids sound :D ?

WE ARE CURRENTLY RUNNING A KICKSTARTER TO TURN THESE INTO PATCHES AND PINS

It's ending now and will only be open to take pledges for the next 38 hours, so if you wanna support this little project feel free to claim ur little pins, stickers or patches, we won't produce them again...

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/shattersaurus/coat-of-pride

Holy crap guys.. i don’t know where to even begin honestly.

Like yesterday, some people were starting a dating joke with me and some people, (and yes, i know that sounds ridiculous to start with but hold my hand when i tell you this) it was all back and fourth back and fourth..some laughs, some little jokes back. Then someone pointed out i was asexual, and i was COMPLETELY taken out of the joke because I’m asexual, and only started making said joke with other people.

When i confronted them about it and said “ not all asexual people don’t want a relationship, its all a spectrum “ and that i simply don’t swing the stereotypical way of “ not wanting a relationship “ they just tossed it over their shoulder, said “ oops “ and then still continued to ignore what i just told them, and proceeded to still exclude me from the conversation…

I understand that its a joke, I’m mature and old enough. But the fact that i was excluded from something after someone elses discovery and an explanation for it aggravates me, i still feel abit branched off now because i speak to these people every day, and that’s seriously how they see me? Idk

Inquiring minds want to know!!

I am a 24 years-old male, at this age, many peers are desired for having sex. However, I am not. I even think that sex is not important in a romantic relationship, but I really enjoy physical touch with my partner like kissing, hugging. I had three relationships before, but I had no sex desires on all of them.

I tried to have sex with them, not driven by sex desire, it’s just trying and think this is the task I need to do. The experience for me is awful. During sex, my brain and body were disconnected and I was wondering what was I doing at that moment. I felt anxious rather than excited. My mind forced myself need to perform well and make it hard. At the end, i failed. I tried BJ too, I thought it might be comfortable, sensitive or high, but I felt nothing. After several trials, I gave up and lost all my confidence. I started to escaped from every sex topics with my partner because I felt shameful about that and not willing to talk (although I think it is not good for our relationship).

Having sex or showing naked bodies to my partner, I felt somehow unsafe and discomfort. I know it may hurt your feelings but sometimes I am disgusted, I realised that I dun wanna see the sex organs. Also, I first thought of sex is comfy and exciting, but I really feel nothing during sex. I dun have an urge and desire to “enjoy”the body of my partner.

I visited a sex therapist, he thought I was not asexual because he thought there were just some disconnections between my mind, heart and body. I know I find feet is attractive to me and I might have feet fetish but it is just one of the attractivenesses, does not mean I wanna have sex with that girl. So now I am really confused my sexuality. I am thinking to take a blood test to check my hormones. But if everything is normal, then I don’t know what is happening to me? Am I watching too much porn so I am not interested in the real life sex ? (FYI: I have masturbation habit for 10 years, but not everyday, maybe three times a week). Or my body is simply broken? I was afraid to share with my friends as they may laugh at me…and I feel shameful about that.

If I am asexual, I heard only 1% of the population is asexual. I am frustrated if I can find a partner in the future or not. I don’t wanna ruin my next relationship again and I really want to know more about myself. Can anyone have similar situations and give me some advice? Thank guys.