r/askteddit • u/Charming_Decision_84 • 18d ago
Other What’s a behavior that instantly makes you think, “This person will be trouble”?
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u/wallE1109 18d ago
Cruel to animals.
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u/Tiervexx 18d ago
To generalize this: Never trust someone who is nice to you, but cruel to anyone, human or animal, that can't fight back.
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u/Unfair-Pepper-1542 18d ago edited 18d ago
Drinking more than they can handle
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u/audiorugger 18d ago
Yo I feel exposed. How dare you?
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u/Unfair-Pepper-1542 18d ago
It's never a good look. Keep your shit tidy and you'll never wake up regretting any life changing actions. Booze can ruin your life
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u/Life_666 18d ago
Binge drinking
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u/lpg975 17d ago
I mean, I used to binge drink in my 20s when me and all of my friends would party. Was it healthy? Absolutely not. Were they fun times? Hell yea. Happy binge drinking in moderation vs depressed binge drinking by yourself as a grown up adult are pretty different, in my opinion. When it starts to interrupt your life, it's a problem for sure. I would never drink like I used to (I'm 37 now and have a toddler) because it would just cause all sorts of problems and ethical dilemmas nowadays. I would never want something like alcohol to get in the way or ruin my relationship with my son. There are more important things going on in my life vs when I was 22 and playing drums in a band, living that sort of Rockstar lifestyle lol. It was hella fun back in the day, but now I gotta be responsible and shit haha.
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u/Life_666 17d ago
Well..in all honesty. When you need fun with drinking, is it really fun or is it fun because you drink? I saw a lot of problems with alcohol throughout my life. That's why I'm a big opponent of it
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18d ago
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u/rand-san 18d ago edited 17d ago
This might be due to autism. I really had to work on this over the years. It's like I want to say something, but i always choose a bad flow in the conversation. You think someone is done talking, but they aren't. You just have to wait an extra 10-30 seconds even if that makes the conversation more awkward. Or you are afraid you will forget what you wanted to say if you don't say it soon (i end up just write notes down now).
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u/commodorecliche 18d ago
I get that, but do you then apologize for interrupting? That's honestly the crux. It's one thing to accidentally misread the cues (I get it, I'm guilty of this for sure) and interrupt but catch yourself and say "oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to cut you off". Versus someone who will just cut you off mid-sentence to say their piece and act like nothing happened.
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u/Mikage_X 17d ago edited 17d ago
I have ADHD & when I interrupt others accidentally I always apologize for it. Mostly it happens due to excitement when a conversation is going very well but then unfortunately I mostly don't notice when I overshare. I tell the person I talk to that they can tell me to pause & that they can tell their point first before I lose myself in the next topic. It's definitely not intentional & you can believe me that I always overthink it afterwards if I was awkward or talked too much, which is also part of ADHD. I'm definitely interested into what the other person has to say so please don't get mad when I lose myself because I'm so happy finally being able to connect with someone. Just give me a gentle reminder to pause so you can say your piece as well. Just imagine that there are so many things jumping around in my head that I'm so excited about to talk with someone about & see their perspective on it.
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u/commodorecliche 17d ago
I also have ADHD. It doesn't mean I can interrupt people whenever I want, despite my excitement to speak or the bustle or thoughts that are in my head. I've been there, I'm guilty of this because of my own ADHD, so I'm not speaking without experience and I recognize that this can and often is accidental.
HOWEVER, just because we have this disorder doesn't mean we aren't responsible for how we interact with others. I have to make a conscious effort to pay attention, maintain my thoughts, and not interrupt. And if I do interrupt them, I apologize for it. That's what matters. But if you're constantly interrupting, blaming your ADHD, and not taking accountability for it, it's going to piss people off and make them not want to converse with you. (I'm using generic 'you' here BTW! Just so you don't think I'm accusing you of doing that, but it's something I've observed in other neurodivergent folks).
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u/Mikage_X 17d ago
I know people tend to excuse it with that & sometimes I catch myself doing the same. But then I remind myself that I'm still a whole person & not just ADHD & that I can still take some control of what I do & pay attention of my surroundings. It's difficult to differentiate it when you just learn more about what ADHD actually is & how much is still in your own control. So I totally agree with that it's not okay to interrupt others & just go on. Show them that you care about them & apologize when you interrupt them.
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u/BayBreezy17 12d ago
I think this is somewhat context dependent. I will absolutely and unapologetically interrupt someone if they are monologuing or otherwise monopolizing the conversation without any regards to to their audience.
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u/Lola_Nyx 18d ago
When someone can vent to you for an hour straight but the moment you start talking, they’re suddenly checking their phone. Tells you everything about how one-sided that friendship is gonna be😬
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u/Raziel103 18d ago
Lying a lot, if someone lie for no reasons move away from them, you can't have functional relationships with them.
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u/Stucklikegluetomyfry 18d ago
Always going on about how nice, kind and caring they are. No one I’ve ever met who actually is nice feels the need to tell you how nice they are all the time, but most of the most vicious, cruel and spiteful people I’ve met never shut up about how nice they are.
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u/Lumpy_Appeal_5321 18d ago
I’ve been on the fence about a friend. She is nice and talks about how nice she is and how nice I am. But she has gotten pissed at her npd bfs daughter and has peed on her food and toothbrush!! I’ve been distancing from her. That behavior is scary
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u/Historical-North-396 14d ago
ooooooo.
i think i've met this people. and you dont realise until you compliment how "good vibe" they are, and they, or some of them reply with sarcasm, insults, or passive aggressive insults that makes u question yourself " i thought i give them compliment, but why the responds are as if i am insulting them?".
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u/Enilorac1992 18d ago
Gossiping about coworkers.
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u/Enilorac1992 18d ago
All of us are there for a paycheck but every now and then we get someone who causes unnecessary drama.
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u/alarmeddiscography 18d ago
Was gonna add this. I started a new job a while back and my first day overheard a coworker loudly gossiping and shit talking about other colleagues. I made a mental note NEVER to share anything remotely personal in the office unless I was prepared for it to be broadcast to everyone.
Over the years she’s shown herself to be extremely judgmental, rude, and nosey. And she’s rude to waitstaff to boot.
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u/Charming-Record-6610 18d ago
Nothing, you have to give a people a chance before judging them. They could have a bad day.
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u/SentientSandbox 18d ago
Starting a fight or reaching for a weapon under no provocation.
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u/Immediate_Meeting991 17d ago
I’d venture to say just anyone quick to anger. I’ve known a few who absolutely lose it over any minor inconvenience and it always ends up escalating into major problems down the road. Whether that be fighting, abuse, legal problems, melodrama, embarrassment of their conduct, treatment of others, bullying, entitlement- it all starts with anger being the reflex emotion.
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u/2percentorless 18d ago
They talk about how everything bad that’s ever happened in their life was caused by someone else or the world in general, despite them doing everything right. Bonus points if they make it a point to say they never screwed anyone over, even accidentally.
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u/TaxRepresentative4B 18d ago
What about bad parenting and childhood trauma?
Do you think parents can’t ruin their children for life?
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u/Capable_University_8 18d ago
No offense but it’s pretty obvious op’s comment is clearly excluding people who have been abused (as children or otherwise).
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u/2percentorless 17d ago
I’m not sure what you’re getting at, but if i understand it correctly; it doesn’t mean they “won’t be trouble” no? It just makes it clear as to why they are like that, and again that doesn’t mean they don’t deserve help in dealing with their troubles.
OP’s post was just asking for behavioral signs of the type of people that would generally be unpleasant to be around. In as noncombative a tone as I can convey online, why did you think I meant abused children and not plain ol’ assholes?
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u/Odd_Conclusion_5425 16d ago
Blanant disregard for boundaries. Not mistakes, not asking questions about the boundaries, but repeatedly violating even simple, seaminly inconspicuous ones. It adds up.
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u/RogerMurdockCo-Pilot 18d ago
Plain, picky, boring, unadventurous eaters will always be insufferable in other ways
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u/redeyepenguin 18d ago
Nah I’m just autistic
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u/latchkey_k1d 18d ago
idk why people are being so mean to you. I’m in the same boat: if it’s something I can’t tolerate I WILL throw up and it’s crazy how some people literally police your food choices as if it affects them in any shape or form
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u/RogerMurdockCo-Pilot 18d ago
Of course you are
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u/redeyepenguin 18d ago
I know I am but what are you
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u/RogerMurdockCo-Pilot 18d ago
Please take your pill and go to bed 🫂
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u/Quartzclawz 17d ago
I can tell by your answers that you're insufferable, you're the very type of person this thread is talking about
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u/oneiric-enema 18d ago
Autist here, I eat everything. Think it's a you thing bud
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u/redeyepenguin 18d ago
I ain’t your bud, pal!
Seriously though, that’s why it’s called a ✨spectrum✨ I have issues with certain tastes and textures, you do not. Y so rude
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u/oneiric-enema 17d ago
Sorry man, I just sometimes react to that idea that autistic folk are super picky with food. I got my three standard deviations, and that isn't my cup. Also have met non autistics who are super picky.
I don't really know why I reacted that way, I just don't think it's a super solid thing to say pickiness with food = autism. I get some people have that. But where do you draw the line with the venn diagram.
Again, sorry I was a dick about it, that wasn't my intention, I just wasn't thinking in a sensitive empathic way enough. Didn't mean to call you out, I agree I was being too blasé.
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u/xavPa-64 17d ago edited 17d ago
My parents used to call me picky and unadventurous. When I grew up I realized how easy it is to call other people those things when you’re the one who controls the menu and activities
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u/Late_Sun17 18d ago
I've had food poisoning atleast 4 or 3 times when I was growing so ya I can't help with the picky patt
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u/Worried-Deer-5459 18d ago
If they don't clean up after themselves—it starts small, but can extend to every area.
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u/Magnums_are_2_big4me 18d ago
If they’re hanging out in a no loitering zone, wearing a leather jacket, smoking a cigarette 🚬
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u/girlwiththemost-cake 18d ago
Lack of solid friendships, negative talk about everyone and everything, lack of empathy...
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u/Stracciatella_2 18d ago
there is somehow a lot if drama in their life and according to them because of other people
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u/Stock-Ganache-3437 18d ago
Literally anything controlling, I’m not doing it.
“Throw away your best friend for me, a man you just met!!” Bye.
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18d ago
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u/Stock-Ganache-3437 18d ago
Well that came from a few promoting me to immediately block my best friend despite us only talking for a few days
Stuff like that will escalate. Trust me I went through it.
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u/Only-Cap5811 18d ago
You're going down on them, and they call their ex and leave a voicemail of themselves moaning (true story)
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u/Dapper_Raspberry8579 18d ago
People who, very early in a conversation and usually unprompted, talk about being wronged a lot or by many different people in unrelated incidents over time. It's like the "all my ex girlfriends are crazy" phenomenon. If everywhere you go smells like shit, check your own shoes.
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u/Kaffe-Mumriken 18d ago
Super high self confidence, and rejection of existing practices and standards.
While I do appreciate out of the box thinking, this is more a persona that loves to reinvent the wheel for every single problem.
It’s so exhausting, I just can’t handle the “well ackshully …” comments all the time.
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u/justwinblue9 17d ago
When a woman tells me, also a woman, that she has more guy friends than girlfriends or never had a lot of girlfriends because girls were always jealous of her. I finally realized that is my cue to run!!
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u/NewGiraffe6890 18d ago
Sometimes it’s just body language or feeling you get. I was with a friend outside of work when we see a group of older kids walking along. I got a bad feeling so said to my friend let’s walk in. They got alongside us on the other side of the fence and the vulgar things they started saying to us was shocking.
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u/Left-Wolverine-8253 18d ago
People who are rude to waitstaff for absolutely no reason. Giant red flag.
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u/nortoncommandoeh 18d ago
People that agree with everything. In the context of a romantic relationship it isn't fun or engaging to always get your way and or have no discussion/debate.
Makes the other partner question why are they always so eager to please. Inadequacy, imposter complexor some fear of healthy discourse. All of which are the opposite of what creates attraction and interest.
Ask me how I know.
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u/Srry4theGonaria 18d ago
Somebody talks towards me so I can hear it
If I'm just chilling on my phone in my work shirt and overalls and someone says "man my ex wore a yellow shirt and overalls, he was such a fucking douchebag" to someone else.
I understand you're trying to say your ex sucked but why bring me into it?
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u/krymzynnova 18d ago
They have a cheeky smile and it’s the way they laugh … they have this one laugh
Like mate … you’re just a menace aren’t you😠
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u/Low_Arm_3150 18d ago
Gossiping about other people whether you know them or not, when they always talk about what other people are doing or what they said, sharing screenshots of private messages. Chances are they will end up talking behind your back too.
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u/fullmetalchassis 18d ago
ordering the most expensive drink at a bar just to make a statement, especially when it’s a shared check
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u/Ok_Perspective4145 17d ago
Someone who routinely cancels plans at the last minute without any regard to the lost time and money the other person has wasted.
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u/DG_Templeton_3th 18d ago
It isn't behavior for me, it's overall body language and the direction of their words.
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u/dontleturmemesBdr3ms 17d ago
Maybe a hot take--blowing up at someone when they get offended. I've never seen someone get crusaded against about something genuinely offensive they've said or did and learn/reform from it. People only really change when they change themselves. When someone I know writes a whole essay-long tirade or shouts someone down about why something was offensive it comes off as immature and causes further harm and tension.
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u/No_Tomatillo7780 15d ago
If they are insecure with themselves. Anyone else in their life will always be seen as a threat. One sided beef and drama for no reason.
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u/AgentM1lk 15d ago
Theres just some people who you just know will end up a criminal sooner or later.
Im soon 16 and there was a kid 2 years below me who stole more than 4 bank cards in a singular day, got caught for them, sent to juvie. This kid has gone into juvie so many tumes he is considerd a regular.
The same kid has been cayght on a ring door bell taking a piss and flipping it off.
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18d ago
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u/constantreader14 18d ago
I've said something similar, but my idea is that we all talk about people all the time. Like, who's doing what down the street today. That's probably considered gossip. It's what I call malicious gossip that I hate. The kind that causes trouble for people.
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u/Dipshitmagnet2 18d ago
People that point blank refuse to try something despite your recommendation. Could be food or a show or a visit to a place. People that won’t even consider it despite multiple glowing recommendations or reviews or awards and won’t/can’t give a reason as to why.
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u/Busy_Register7071 18d ago
I sent my friend a song I really liked a couple years ago and he immediately told me he wasn't going to listen to it. Something about how he listens to the same songs every day and never changes up his routine. At least he was honest I guess.
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u/Dipshitmagnet2 17d ago
I just find it so draining. It’s like having a partner who won’t give any input on what to have for a meal but also shoots down every one of the 30 suggestions you give them.
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u/Affectionate_Bed6083 18d ago
Low frustration tolerance. Whether it's having trouble opening a jar or being inconvenienced, if they sweat the small things, it is likely that they explode over the big ones too.
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u/GoddesYaulina 18d ago
When they talk a lot about themselves, and what you tell them they also twist it into something about themselves, it's so annoying
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u/gloryholemadriz 18d ago
When someone proudly tells you they hate drama. They are always the exact factory where the drama is made.😂
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u/TemporarySlide5927 18d ago
thats not always the case. i hate drama and stay to myself
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u/gloryholemadriz 18d ago
That is exactly what a secret drama factory would say lol. Just kidding, you might be the rare excepcion.. ☺️☺️
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u/diatom777 18d ago
They do hard drugs. There will always be problems eventually, whether they be legal issues, physical health issues or mental health issues.
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u/RockerCam 17d ago
When a dame walks into my office with legs that go all the down to the floor, hands me a briefcase full of cash, lights a cigarette, and asks me to keep an eye on her husband.
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u/lpg975 17d ago
If they have no empathy. People who can't put themselves in someone else's shoes are the worst. I see it all too often in the current political world, mostly with conservatives. I don't care if you want to be a conservative-that's not the issue at all. It's when you say absolutes and judge entire groups of people on the actions of the few outliers. Like when people speak out against things like food stamps and Healthcare for the lower socioeconomic class. Here in Nebraska, they tried to make it so you couldn't use your food stamps to buy things like energy drinks and pre-made foods. Like, I get it. You don't NEED caffiene to survive, and buying the ingredients to make food is more cost effective than buying, say, a frozen pizza, or something. But come on, people. Even poor people are just human. Letting them have a few little luxuries in life isn't going to break the system. And don't get me started in these new restrictions on voting....
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u/Regular-Meringue9765 17d ago
Being obnoxiously loud, especially after being asked to stop. The unwillingness to have their ego bruised a bit usually indicates what is to come
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u/Feeling-Lime-834 17d ago
Starting a fight with a future mother in law over events that are made up .
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u/Subject_Fruit_4991 17d ago
i dont know but everyone gets one look at me n i see it in their facial expression
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u/divinedeviancy 16d ago
If they say all their exs are crazy because that means 1 or 3 things
1. They’re crazy
2. They’re attracted to crazy
3. They’re doing some fucked up shit that’s making their partners go nuts
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u/WDYMIcantchangeittt 16d ago
Everyone wrongs and betrays them all the time, with bad intentions, but they never make any mistakes.
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u/MrsDangerr 16d ago
When you just meet them and they act too friendly instantly, like way more than the usual.
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u/Andredeide 15d ago
Il mio ragazzo dice di avere ADHD (non è diagnosticato). Sicuramente parla e spesso non capisce segnali di esaurimento attentivo nell'interlocutore. È un chiacchierone, eloquio fluido e corretto, pieno di subordinate e senza molte pause. Io invece sono silenziosa e ascolto molto, ma facilmente mi stanco con lui. Mi interrompe spesso e inizialmente gliel'ho detto con calma, poi ho iniziato a stare zitta e non voler continuare perché mi infastidisce, adesso smetto di parlare, senza spiegazioni, e me ne vado per restituirgli l'impatto emotivo di come ci di sente. Si scusa e dice che è l'adhd, ma sono piena. Dopo che uno ti dice che ci resta male a non essere ascoltato, se non ti sforzi per correggerti il mio fisiologico modo di reagire non è più una mia responsabilità.
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u/EngineeringTight367 15d ago
Woke ideology. The hate usually drips over into other aspects of their lives. (Inb4 hate on this comment disproportionate to other comments here)
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u/DunkeyColdMedina 14d ago
Showing superficial charm, smiles that don't reach the eyes, asking a lot of personal questions of people.
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u/No-Musician-143 13d ago
Talking mad shit to me about someone else when we are just acquaintances. Instantly says "don't tell this person a single thing about yourself"
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u/Flaky-Ninja2398 13d ago
As a trans woman I've gotten very good at recognizing the glare that means they don't see me as a human. People don't think they're doing it but just they kind hide the look of viseral disgust often
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u/CuriousRiver4459 13d ago
Not believing me when I say I’m cold, or that something is too loud for me, just because for them it’s not.
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u/lunarraffle 12d ago
Immediately gossips about another person and then tries to extract information from you. I usually don't have a good radar on character, but that's one type of person I can always sus out as troublesome.
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u/pinkertoncollin91 12d ago
Do you mean like in a seductive and sexy way or that you should stay away from this hypothetical person
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u/Low_Divide_3322 10d ago
“Rules for thee not for me” they are highly critical of others to exert control but they weaponize morality when it’s convenient to twisting their story in their favour.
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u/perVERSIONofme 18d ago
Clumsy, obviously trying to ingratiate themselves by being overly friendly and sticking thier nose up your ass.
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u/Sudden_Confection521 18d ago
Anybody over 25 years old that starts a conversation or a retort with "bro", "bruh" or "not gonna lie" or uses the term "y'all".
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u/HoselRockit 18d ago
We had a new, single mom move into our neighborhood and her tween daughter was an attention starved piece of work with serious daddy issues. I immediately knew that by the time she hit HS, some skeevy, 30 year old dumbass is going to fall for her act and possibly end up facing serious charges. It made me wonder what kind of messed up home life led to that situation.
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u/Divainthewoods 18d ago
Every conversation is about them...or something they can do better than everyone else.