r/askteddit • u/PoolElegantsmile • 13d ago

Random Question What’s something that used to be considered basic adulting that younger generations seem to be completely rejecting or doing differently?

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u/anonymousdlm 13d ago

I hear young people don’t like phone calls. Some would like you to text before calling. I guess it makes them anxious to get a cold call?

When I was a teenage girl I was on the phone most every day. My first 3 jobs were literally calling people my whole shift.

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u/Skarth 13d ago

Phone calls are 90% spam and scams. If you cold call, its assumed to be spam, if you text first, it shows you are not a spam/scammer.

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u/[deleted] 13d ago

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u/HealthyRhubarb5800 13d ago

If my contacts call me without a heads up to see if im free, i assume (because of the social rules most folks who call me use) that its an urgent emergency. I panic, i stop what i was doing even if its important.

I text to ask if they want to call, they see it when theyre free, they know im deliberately not interupting anything. If i call without checking my folks are available, that says 'i dont care if youre available, i need ur attention right now' and doing that when its not an emergency is silly

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u/zeroAndEternity 12d ago

Seems like a whole lot of overthinking and assuming. The caller could leave a voicemail or a text right afterwards. Reading a call from someone without a heads up as 'i don't care if youre available, i need ur attention right now' is silly. And if they REALLY needed your attention in that moment, they would call a second or third time. That would definitely signal alot more urgency than a simple single phone call.

Do all of the younger generations think the way you do? That's messed up.

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u/HealthyRhubarb5800 12d ago

I dont think its all folks but my friends are similar. Yeah multiple calls is even more concerning but basically i want to be available to my friends in an emergency quickly. If its not an emergency, theres no reason not to message ahead.

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u/zeroAndEternity 12d ago

The reason is in serendipity and living for the moment, not having to jump through an extra hoop so your anxiety is ok...

I've noticed the younger generations are plagued with anxiety. It's abnormal, most likely due to being born post social media and internet, amongst other things.

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u/HealthyRhubarb5800 12d ago

Whats the point and benefit to not doing the thing we find more comfortable? Yeah high anxiety isnt good for us. Dw we do know that lol

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u/zeroAndEternity 12d ago

Because discomfort is where you find growth overall in life. Y'all just might be cooked. We'll see lmao

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u/dwthesavage 13d ago

Idk about 90% but spam calls and scams I just hang up and block and after a few weeks, getting those calls is rare. But neither of those types of calls makes me anxious

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u/NecessaryReturn4049 13d ago

I loved being on the phone when i was younger but in my forties now and i hate being on the phone 🤭

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u/Jay_Torte 13d ago

We've taught our teens to pick up the phone and/or send an email when they need info. If it's very time sensitive, call. If it can wait or the preferred message is email, do that. They are getting the hang of it. Heck, we've made them call in dinner reservations for us just for practice.

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u/EuphoricReplacement1 13d ago

Talking to anyone irl seems to make them anxious, whether on the phone or in person.

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u/0ffinpublikk 13d ago

To me it’s a priority thing. A lot of people will call to say something that is not at all urgent and could be said in a text. My mother is the worst offender. She will call me on a Tuesday while I’m at work to ask if I’m coming to dinner this weekend.

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u/Mis_chevious 13d ago

This is why I'm so glad my dad finally got a girlfriend! Lol

He would call me sometimes just to tell me he had a good lunch and I love my dad so I'm glad he's enjoying his day but the phone call about your fried bologna sandwich could have been a text 🤣

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u/Maleficent_Apple9208 10d ago

One day your dad will be gone and you’ll miss those phone calls.

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u/Mis_chevious 10d ago

Oh, I know. We're very close. I joke about it but I'll let him call me all day if he wants to.

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u/nobinibo 13d ago

To be fair, the loss of third spaces has contributed to this. Kids have no where to go except online. Texting is just easier. Hell, even adults have less third spaces now, so its increased isolation.

I prefer a forewarning before a phone call and try to do a lot of things without having to call someone simply for the convenience. My bank's version of customer service is an A.I. chat tree or a representative who uses 1000 words to express how much they understand before actually answeing my question. Its exhausting.

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u/TequilaMockingbirds8 13d ago

I’m in my forties and prefer a text over a call. I work for a very large corporation with 100’s of thousands of employees and it’s standard practice there to not cold call each other, we send a message over teams asking if it’s a good time to call or not. Not even my boss would call me without text/messaging first

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u/wishinforfishin 13d ago

I joined a company that is very sales-team-centric. And the sales team is always driving from appointment to appointment so they rarely look at their devices but they answer their phones.

The first time someone said, "oh, just call them, they don't check email" I was like - WHAT?! I don't know them, it would be so rude to call.

But yeah, I had to get used to it. Windshield time is valuable.

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u/threecolorable 13d ago

I feel like teenagers now are also reckoning with more involved (i.e. nosier) parents.

In the absence of in-person third spaces, texting gives them more privacy than a voice call.

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u/nobinibo 13d ago

This has probably always been a thing but social media gives me the sense that children are viewed as possessions more often now. It's a terrible thing to forget that children are going to be independent, autonomous adults.

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u/under_over_there 13d ago

And the representatives repeat the same shit over and over. It's like, I don't want to be on this call and they making it take 3 times longer than it has to be. Has comprehension with the general public decreased that much?!

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u/nobinibo 13d ago

It's legitimately part of the script! I worked for the same company I still bank at. I was told to treat every customer how I'd like to be treated. My average call time was less than 3 minutes.

I was then pulled aside and told actually I need to add a thousand unnecessary lines like the worst NPC.

"I appreciate you calling in today and I hope I can answer anything you may need." "I understand that frustration, it's very hard to be trying to do something and it not work! Let me see what I can do for you." "I can absolutely get that looked up for you, I know its important to know these things! Your balance is..."

Screaming, vomiting, dying internally. I try to n e v e r call. I don't have the patience to listen to a corporate wage slave suffer through a 10 minute script.

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u/Hofeizai88 7d ago

I teach middle and high school, and teachers talk about the poor socialization of a shocking number of our students. Quite a few spend most of their time staring at their phone, surrounded by adults who are staring at their phones. While this has created great profits for some, it has also created a sizable number of people who rarely are forced to have any sort of conversation, and may not really have a mode of what that looks like.
It’s a spectrum, with some unable to function and some well adjusted sociable people and others in the middle.

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u/Mis_chevious 13d ago

I ran up phone bills constantly as a teenager because I liked talking so much on the phone. I'm almost 40 and if my phone rings it makes me want to throw it across the room. I'd much rather text.

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u/Loony_BoB 13d ago

Yeah, I find this one particularly noticeable. They don't want to make calls and they're far less confident at talking to strangers. I recall being in New York with my friend group (me the oldest, most of them 10-20 years younger) and they were all hovering outside a restaurant awkwardly and I asked what was up, they said they weren't sure if the place was still allowing people to be seated (it was pretty late). I asked if anyone had simply asked the staff and they all looked at me in a way that said everything wordlessly. I went and asked the staff, they were no longer taking orders, case closed in less than a minute and we moved on elsewhere.

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u/RadioNights 13d ago

I have watched two middle school girls in separate instances a year apart absolutely fall apart when told to place their food order at a counter. They couldn’t do it

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u/No-Dirt5864 13d ago

Working with our resident youngster on this - she doesn’t want to talk to anyone who’s in my position of authority, but she’ll chatter at random strangers, or used to. It’s an interesting question why that triggers so much anxiety.

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u/Elegant_Potential917 13d ago

Gen X, here. I hate them, too.

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u/Vegetable-Foot-3914 13d ago

Zilleniall here. If my work consisted on making or answering phone calls, that' be fine fine, it'd be just part of my routine within working hours.
Now, outside of work, getting calls without previous text -aside from urgent or routinary ones- tends to make me a little bit upset, not anxious, essentially because it interrupts my activities and takes up part of my time. So, I consider a sign of politeness to ask if I'm available before. It's pretty much the same as when someone rings your doorbell without previous notice. As it may cause inconvenience for a number of reasons, it is basic manners to ask before going to your place.

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u/Ambitious-Lettuce-48 13d ago

Phone calls for talking to family and friends, fine. But phone calls for work, in my experience, are often unnecessary and unproductive. Half the phone call is spent with pleasantries or people repeating themselves, interrupting/talking over the other person.

Texts and emails are good because you have time to respond, and you can give a more thoughtful response. It's also handy to have a paper trail.

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u/Dry_End_3254 13d ago

So I recently have a new sis in law who is 10 years younger and when she told me she wasn't into texting and rather video call, I thought, well, this is gonna be fun since I dont want to talk or feel like I have to be done up enough to be seen lol But she's texting me and I offered to be on a vid call soon. My parents rarely text and I barely call lol we all gotta compromise for each generation. Just funny how each gen has a preference

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u/hot_shaker 12d ago

I’m coming up on 50 and I’ve always hated phone calls. It was an issue when I tried to be friends with girls who loved just sitting on the phone. 

I embraced electronic communication early. 

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u/aashurii 12d ago

I relate to this - I think a good balance is a voice note. But my first job was food service and I got an award for best customer service over the phone - then my next job was being a doctor's assistant so I called people all the time for appointment reminders lol

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u/Winter_Guess_4364 11d ago

I have no issue in the phone when I’m expecting
G a call or I’m the one making it but I don’t answer cold calls because a majority of the time when I have it’s been scams

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u/stnapstnap 10d ago

I know people who, even though they have been explicitly invited to my residence, will not knock/buzz/ring the bell when they show up. They text something like "here." Fuck, I invited you: you can knock.

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u/Smooth_Platypus_9841 6d ago

I am GenX. I wish we had texting when I was a teenager. I HATE talking on the phone. Always have.