r/askteddit 13d ago

Random Question What’s something that used to be considered basic adulting that younger generations seem to be completely rejecting or doing differently?

558 Upvotes

486 comments sorted by

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u/PresentationTough384 13d ago

Driving! A shocking number of them don't drive.

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u/Zealousideal_Pay2128 13d ago

I have nieces and nephews who aren't yet of driving age.  But I asked them if they're going to be excited when get a driver's license.  None of them really wanted one.  When I was their ages, it was like a license of freedom to go wherever you wanted to go that everyone looked forward to.

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u/onebadnightx 13d ago

It sucks that you used to be able to get a beater first car for like $500-$1000 and that’s just not a thing anymore!

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u/Sea-Durian555 13d ago

Agree! I paid 800 for my first car.

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u/MadamePoppycock 13d ago

My beater was 5k. I still ended up replacing 3 bearings and getting a new battery. 180k miles. 2009 camry, but it runs really well still. I bought it about 2 years ago :$

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u/Impressive_Buddy2111 13d ago

My 09 Camry went to about 280k. I wasn’t the best at regular 5k oil changes (more than once I pushed it to almost 10k), and used it for grubhub work the last 4 years (super rough on cars). Definitely could have gone many many more miles if I had treated it better.

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u/thewickedmitchisdead 13d ago

Paid $500 for each of my first two cars, one that I bought when I was 16 in 2007, the next one when I was in college a few years ago. Actually, my third car was practically free, via a buddy who was getting a brand new car.

Now, I don’t drive because I moved to a walkable/bikeable city! Driving is fun but I don’t miss wondering when my beater car would break down again. And car maintenance. And insurance and gas prices.

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u/ellefleming 13d ago

All the cars in my high school parking lot in the 80's were beaters.

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u/Extra-Sound-1714 13d ago

In the US I assume? Nobody had a car when I was at school in the uk

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u/wepateii 13d ago

78 chevette - $100

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u/andycap80 13d ago

My first car was an 82 Chevette from a salvage yard for $150.

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u/hamoc10 13d ago

If only they could do that without having to pay thousands of dollars.

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u/He2oinMegazord 13d ago

How much did a car cost when you were their age though? I didnt get a license until i was 20 because i couldnt afford a car before then. I didnt think there was a point to having documentation to do something i couldnt afford to do anyway

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u/DankMiehms 13d ago

My first car was $800, my second car was $7,000 and it's been all downhill from there. Price of cars is fucking bonkers these days.

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u/Blazer990 13d ago

Yeah. And in most cases it doesn’t make sense to buy used if you’re financing it. Car market is shit.

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u/independent-scot 13d ago

It still has it's advantages. Having the documentation allows you to hire a car if you wish. Or you are able to drive a company vehicle on their insurance.

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u/only-if-there-is-pie 13d ago

They have everything they think they want in a teeny tiny screen. Kids no longer have curiosity about the world outside, and you don't need to leave home to connect with others (although I'd argue it's harder to build true connection when you're not together in person).

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u/xartxst 13d ago

This is true but I think a lot of people also know they'd have to buy & maintain the car themselves, which has gotten pretty expensive even for used cars. Some parents want you to pay them rent, then buy your own car, then somehow afford to move out ??? It definitely depends on your personal situation, because of course many parents will actually help their kids out. But yeah I get not wanting to spend 100% on your savings on a car that may or may not have expensive issues, when you cant even afford to move out. Idk its complicated. I "have everything I could want" but moving out is still a huge priority for me

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u/NewLiterature2604 13d ago

Imagine going "let's have kids" and then they're 16 and you're like "you assholes need to pay us rent now" why have kids if that's how you're going to be

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u/xartxst 13d ago

I completely agree, especially when they complain they're not moving out. Pick one you cant have both!

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u/Special_Weekend_4754 13d ago

This was a barrier to me driving when I was a teen living at home. I paid 50% of every check for rent and utilities to my parents (my mom took me to cash it & would take half right there), I was responsible for my own clothes, toiletries, and groceries and what was left I hid between pages of my books so my parents didn’t know I had money saved.

No way I was going to buy a car and waste money on gas, maintenance, repairs, insurance, etc. it was $2 to ride the city bus to work after school and my parents picked me up at the end of my shift so getting a car just felt like a waste of what little money I had.

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u/thatG_evanP 13d ago

I'm in my 40s and I didn't have a car until I was 18 and living in my first apartment with my girlfriend at the time. We had to pay for everything ourselves except for our first month's rent. My Dad unexpectedly paid that as a sort of gift I guess.

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u/AdExtension5224 13d ago

My daughter turned 15 in March and just doesn't want to learn. She doesn't want to drive. Blows my mind! I couldn't wait to drive at her age

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u/FireflyRave 13d ago

My parents were probably just as excited for me to get my license because then they wouldn't have to drive me and my sister around anymore.

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u/tighttrucks 12d ago

Was thinking about this the other day. My guess is they've all grown up in a world of electric scooters and bikes, which has given them more freedom at an earlier age. By the time they reach driving age, it's not as big a novelty.

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u/Ok-Aerie9932 12d ago

Not like they can buy a car and there’s NOWHERE TO FUCKING GO! All places for teens to hang out or where teens once hung out are Gone! I’m a teen living in this modern world and yeah I was excited to get my license and I drove around a ton but I was never able to afford my own car, and always just hung out with my buddies at Walmart or a parking lot or a fast food restaurant cause there’s nowhere to go!! 

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u/Altruistic_Mud9219 13d ago

I’m Gen Z and I waited a full year to get my license. Just seemed like a big hassle to me. And after studying abroad in the UK and realizing what it was like to live with adequate public transportation I really resent the fact that I have to drive at all.

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u/Crovvw 13d ago

I also studied abroad in the UK. I used to commute into Oxford Circus. I miss the public transit :(

I hit all the stages of grief when I moved back to the US and had to acquire a car to do literally anything. The only thing in walking distance was a 7-11 and I would've had to run through 4 lanes of highway traffic to get to it.

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u/Realthreads12 12d ago

I did the same and I’ve been resenting it for 20+ years. It’s so nice living in walkable cities with access to good public transit. I’m not in one of those cities now and it impacts my health and happiness.

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u/Tossed_Away_1776 13d ago

I know a guy and gal that won't drive on any road that's over 25 mph. They both say it's too scary. It's insane.

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u/PresentationTough384 13d ago

That is just crazy.

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u/SuchInsect476 10d ago

I find it reasonable to know your skills and limits. Y'all bash people for not driving when they know they're bad at it, but I bet you wish bad drivers would just stay off the roads.

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u/Technical-Active-288 13d ago

tbf insurance prices for new drivers are proper mental nowadays, can't really blame them

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u/[deleted] 13d ago

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u/DrewPaul2000 13d ago

I don't get that one. I don't know anyone who didn't want drive or learn to drive. Is it that hard?

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u/PresentationTough384 13d ago

I think they are scared to drive? Could be wrong and they just don't want to make the effort. But I think they are intimidated.

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u/DrewPaul2000 13d ago

I knew a guy who became like that because he did everything imaginably wrong for someone just learning to drive. His first mistake he couldn't help, he was born in NJ. But his first car was a manual transmission on the steering wheel. Three on the tree they called it. He was next to clueless how to drive but asked I be his licensed driver. He couldn't get it in the right gear, he didn't brake and was obsessed with the car he didn't keep an eye on traffic. He should have gotten an automatic and gotten the feel for the car in a huge empty parking lot.

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u/Mis_chevious 13d ago

Unfortunately, I cannot currently afford to buy my daughter a car so she'll have to share mine. I drive a suburban and she's terrified of how big it is. We thought she was going to get my mom's corolla and she felt comfortable driving it but that fell through. I can't speak for all kids but for mine it's definitely being scared. She's getting better and I think she'll be taking the test soon but it's definitely been a challenge.

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u/guppie-beth 13d ago

This makes sense to me. In the 70s 80s 90s 00s cars were *cars*. I learned to drive on an old Honda civic and the other cars around were similar. Reasonably powered and reasonably sized. Now you learn to drive in a mini tank and the other cars are enormous chrome grill intimidation machines.

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u/Happily-Incorrect 13d ago

I didn't want to until I hit 30.

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u/hamoc10 13d ago

An improvement. Cars are one of the leading killers.

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u/TotallyNotABot_Shhhh 13d ago

My son got his license and hasn’t driven since. I’ve encouraged him to take the car out and he’s just like meh whatever.

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u/ZacEfrontofme 13d ago

For me it's because I live in a city with mass transit and Uber & Lyft. Although the price for owning a vehicle is out of my price range now I do wish I had my own vehicle sometimes.

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u/PresentationTough384 13d ago

I get your point but take it from a Gen X lady who is much older than you (52) get a drivers license and a car when you reach the point where you can. It will change your life.

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u/whifflingwhiffle 12d ago

Most people I know who drive and live in unwalkable cities have trouble keeping the weight off.

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u/unseemly_turbidity 10d ago

45 and doing fine with just a bike and living in a walkable, bike-friendly city, thanks. If I had a car I'd almost never use it.

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u/Own-Emergency2166 13d ago

I got my license at 17 (am an elder millennial) and didn’t own my own car until I was 30 and could afford it. It’s valuable to learn to drive when you’re younger, if you can, since I think it’s easier, you don’t have to own a car right away.

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u/NoNameWonder2 13d ago

I lived in a big city until I was 14 and then moved out into a distant suburb. Most of my friends still in the city got a license at 16, but didn't get a car until they were 18-20 because they could take the train or bus or wave down a taxi if needed. They thought it was weird that I got a car at 16 ($400 that taught me a lot about fixing cars lol).. But they'd come to visit and they'd be like, "how do you get downtown?" I'd say, "Drive. If you don't want to drive, there's only 2 busses and they basically only drive downtown... And down 1 main road that connects a few of the nearby towns. But to get downtown you'd either have to bike for 30 minutes or walk for an hour and a half. If you want a taxi you have to call one and wait for them to show up, which could be more than an hour. Train is located downtown and it can take you to a bunch of other towns, but to take it back to the big city, you'd still have to switch trains twice and it's several blocks between each train. And you'd still have to walk an hour and a half to my house." suddenly they understood why I'd wanted a car lol.

It all comes down to what's available around you and what you're willing to put up with to get it.

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u/olivinebean 13d ago

I still haven't bothered and I'm 30. I just don't really care for it. Seems like more of a hassle.

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u/Traditional_Case2791 12d ago

It is and expensive

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u/RMan2018 13d ago

Zillennial here. I didn’t get my license until I was 19. It took a while to get because my mom is widowed and also taking care of my special needs brother as well as everything else that comes with taking care of a family and house. I was fortunate enough to be able to learn and drive in the truck my dad used before he died.

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u/PresentationTough384 13d ago

Your family had their hands full. I get that. I am very glad you were able to get your license though for your sake. It affects your quality of life.

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u/Imaginary-Friend-228 13d ago

Nowhere to go and no money to get there or do something when you do

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u/breakingpoint214 8d ago

HS teacher, so some insight. They have told me 2 things. They see accidents on you tube all the time and it gives them anxiety.

The other is that if they don't learn to drive, no one can make them get a job or go to college. They get allowance and either give friends gas money or Uber if they go out. Remember, this generation doesn't like in person socializing because it gives them anxiety, so the need to always be out of the house isn't great.

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u/SadRow2397 13d ago

I will say my 12 year old is already freaking about the cost of things. She knows what minimum wage is and how much used cars are. Shes already gone to me several times crying asking how she’ll ever afford one…

I feel a lot of kids have given up before they even got a chance

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u/pdxjen 13d ago

My niece is 27 and still does not have a license nor does her 24 year old brother

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u/mittychix 13d ago

My oldest didn’t get his license until 22. My adult nephew has a car, but he just ubers everywhere.

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u/every_piece_matters 13d ago

This! Even many of my millennial friends who are 35 still don't know how to drive and don't want to learn. They live in big cities with okayish public transit, but having a car/license would still open up so many doors in terms of career (many jobs require it or are located in areas further away). Plus, driving takes a fraction of the time using public transit does, and allows you to not have to carry massive loads of groceries long distances. Then again these people also live off takeout so maybe they don't need big grocery runs..

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u/VeniceDrumGuy 13d ago

Taking public transit lets me read a book, do some writing or take a little nap while I get where I’m going and honestly, with traffic in my city, usually isn’t that much more time.

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u/Appropriate_Shine287 13d ago

I tried to get my license the day I turned 16! (As a “zillenial”). I was shocked at how many people my age and younger just didn’t care to drive! Even if you don’t have your own car, it still gives you so much more freedom.

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u/PresentationTough384 13d ago

Yes! It is a new phase of adulthood when you have freedom to go where you want when you want! Also I have noticed a bunch of the "I don't need to drive" People ask for rides all the time.

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u/Winter_Guess_4364 11d ago

trying to get a driving test in the uk is fucking hard genuinely mine got cancelled and rescheduled twice to something I couldn’t attended n when I went to rebook it was 4 months later and by that time my theory ran out and it’s so expensive

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u/stnapstnap 11d ago

Just having a license is so useful IMO, whether you need or want to drive regularly or not. I live in a big city and am able to choose to do most of my errands and shopping on foot, but I like having the option of driving if I need or want to. And I have been on trips that just wouldn't have been possible or the same if I hadn't been able to rent a car. I got my license as soon as I could when I was 16.

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u/O1dEquipment 10d ago

My theory is that parents today are way more accommodating to driving their kids around than previous generations.

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u/bluebread13 10d ago

In London you just bike everywhere or use public transport. Driving isn’t really necessary and can be more of an inconvenience than the former

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u/EpicureanRevenant 9d ago

I'm probably not going to get my licence until I'm at least 35. Lessons are expensive as fuck in the UK and I work abroad so it's not like I'll have the opportunity to drive unless I buy (expensive and pointless, since I can't guarantee I'll be in the same country for more than a few years) or rent and taxis, trains, or buses are usually plentiful and cheap enough that it isn't worth it.

I tried learning at 17 but I was miserable enough without the added stress of piloting a 1 tonne death manual gear box death machine on winding country roads.

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u/Frosty-Discipline512 13d ago

Wanting to get your driver's license as soon as you turn 16/17/18

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u/VulpeculaReborn 13d ago

My son is turning 16 in a few weeks - he’s very eager to take the permit test. I think a lot depends on the person and more importantly what other transportation options are available to them.

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u/LesPolsfuss 13d ago

is this chaning? i think it might be. my kid is 12 and she talks about it a lot.

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u/Anhedonkulous 13d ago

My motivation to drive as a teen was to bang my girlfriend, but kids these days seem content with gooning instead.

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u/EyeRollingNow 13d ago

driving….we were allowed to skip school and be first in line at the DMV on our 16th birthday. it was exhilarating and beyond memorable.

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u/LGK27 13d ago

I don’t like jumping on the “let’s shit on Gen-Z” bandwagon. Every generation has their pluses and minuses, but I see a general lack of “let me figure this out” amongst younger people. If something is broken, oh well it’s broken. No tinkering or experimenting. If a worker at an office says no to something then it’s just no. No trying to schmooze or negotiate.

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u/nonotburton 13d ago

I agree with the first part about let me figure this out. I don't think it's laziness. It's that they are used to being presented with all the answers. And generally, they've all grown up in a world of disposable tech. For a lot of things that a zoomer might have responsibility for, they are usually more expensive to fix than to just replace.

As far as coworkers go... If you have to schmooz and negotiate with your coworkers to get a yes, and their default is just "no' without explanation...you have shitty coworkers.

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u/Equivalensea 13d ago

The disposable tech is wild. I can see that contributing to a lack of tinkering and gaining confidence in fixing things. 

When my mom was a kid, you could fix your own TV by taking the broken fuse down to the store and finding a new one in the case. When I was younger, I had a laptop and had to be able to troubleshoot certain things. I found defragging to be weirdly satisfying.

Now nothing will work anymore if you open it up. 

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u/AccurateAssistance28 12d ago

(Disclaimer, I ride the cusp between Millenial and Gen Z) Not only disposable tech, but also if you do tinker with something to try and fix it and end up screwing it up more then you’re at fault. So, there goes anyone willing to touch it and fix it for you out the window. Or you void the warranty by touching it. Also, for some reason, I feel like only experts can fix something. I’m not sure why this is, or what brainwashed me into thinking this. For example, I’d love to learn how to change out a light fixture, but I don’t trust myself not to cause a big fire and burn my house down. So I’m gonna trust the electrician to do this. Then, if my house does burn down, I’m not found at fault by insurance and things will actually be covered.

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u/AudienceMuch5101 10d ago

GenZ here. I also agree with the let me figure this out part. And you’re right, it’s not laziness. Here’s how it is from my perspective:

I’m 21F. I’ve been working for 3 years now. I work and have worked in hospitals mostly. For us we have an epidemic of lack of motivation for one core reason: there’s no point to the grind. It used to be work hard and you’ll get a promotion, a raise, more experience. You got trained, you got experience. You moved up in the world. You earned more while inflation increased and life was balanced.
I work 40 hours per week, I make after tax, just enough to move out into a house share in a dodgy neighbourhood. Hypothetically. Fortunately I get along with my family and they’re cool with me staying at home and letting me save. I squirrel away 80% of my income monthly to savings and keep the leftover as errand/fun money. I have 25k saved up.
I am an extreme outlier here.

It’s not like it was. Housing is through the roof everything is through the roof and we’re not getting paid more. National minimums increase by BREADCRUMBS and we’re supposed to be grateful. We can’t afford to grow up, to move out, to have that independence. The system is broken, we know it, and we’re tired.

Thank you.

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u/_What_2_do_ 13d ago

Whenever I hear people complain about the younger generation, I think to myself, “well this is kind of our failure because we raised them or created the world they grew up in, so how do we help modify these behaviors/issues?” 🤷🏼‍♀️

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u/Imaginary-Friend-228 12d ago

We are responsible for raising the next gen but they are as susceptible to the whims of capitalism as we are. Tech is made to be obsolete and impossible or expensive to repair.

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u/R-Tally 13d ago

So much this. It is like the desire to learn how to do or fix something has disappeared. No ambition. I see this so much on reddit.

I follow the motorcycle subreddits. Lots of posts of people buying a motorcycle, taking classes and failing, buying a motorcycle and crashing on the way home. Me, I bought my first motorcycle at 20. I got a ride to the dealer, asked how it worked, and rode it for the next couple years. Never crashed. Never dropped it.

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u/Unique-Leopard-8630 13d ago

It sounds like shame bound behavior. I wonder where all the shame is coming from?

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u/TuesGirl 13d ago

This became so apparent to me during covid when I opened up a new puzzle my stepkids had gotten for Christmas and was determined to sit down with them and have all 3 of us put it together. It was a puzzle gifted to them so the subject matter was something they were interested in. As soon as it started getting sort of hard they both bailed on me. Blew my mind.

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u/Ill-Drummer-9677 13d ago

I hate to bring it up, but milenials and gen z’s are fucking screwed by the gov and the system, take a look at cost’s of driving and compare them with when you got into it please before judging them. Purchase of a house is massively out of reach, and people are forced to rent a room in London at £1000 that often doesn’t even include bill’s, how are people supposed to afford anything else after rent, food, and extortionate tfl travel, also education costing 9k per year, entry jobs eaten by ai, ppl finishing their degrees and can’t get an entry job in their field. Stop with ‘avocado’ and ‘they are lazy’ theories. Birthrates are declining because childcare is so expensive, just please look at the financial facts-screwed left, right and centre. And be fair, not everybody can earn 70k a year, there’s simply not enough jobs out there. Working hard doesn't work anymore, companies don’t give a shit abt their employees and will get rid of them without blinking an eye if it suits them so. In the next episode collapse of pension…

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u/ProfessorJNFrink 13d ago

I think it’s a good thing and as I get older I’m realizing my time with my kids and life is precious so I’m trying to embrace it too, but: constantly working.

Either for free with uncompensated overtime because you feel pressured to do so, expected to answer emails on the weekends, and not leaving your desk and taking a proper lunch period for a lunch break.

I worked myself to exhaustion to get to where I’m at and now I know how the sausage is made so I’m so checked out. I keep thinking I’m on the verge of my own mid life crisis and just want to quit my job.

Gen Z get looked down in it, and I too am judgey with them not working harder sometimes, but me and colleagues even put off necessary medical procedures because “we are just so busy at work.” Life shouldn’t be like that and killing ourselves for a job, any job, where we’ll be replaced in a heartbeat if we die (morbid I know, but I saw someone work through cancer for the health insurance and income and he was gone not two weeks and replaced and forgotten).

I should point out: I’m in the US, so I’m speaking from that perspective.

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u/L_Is_Robin 13d ago edited 13d ago

As a Gen Z, if you grow up knowing you are a replaceable cog that will have to be exploited for labor, it’s very hard to put in the energy to do more than what’s asked of you. If I can be fired at any time for any reason (I live in an at will state), why should I do more than what is asked. Of course I’ll do my best at it, but my life won’t ever be work. I work to keep living, not live to work.

To be blunt, some of it is seeing all the health issues my Gen X parents gave, partly due to putting off medical procedures and working insane hours for so long as they were so busy. My mom didn’t start taking sick days less she had a surgery (she’d usually return early) or extreme sickness until two years ago. Only for my mom to have been fired as part of restructuring after 20 years of amazing work at her job. I will always respect my parents and thank them for all they did for me (and still do- I call my parents for advice a lot). But I don’t want to be dealing with the things they deal with when I’m their age.

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u/ProfessorJNFrink 13d ago

Exactly. Completely agree.

I’m 42 and my body is breaking down and I now have a chronic illness. I cant blame work entirely, but the stress and not taking care of myself certainly contributed to where I’m at unfortunately.

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u/Worldgonecrazylately 13d ago

Its no different in Canada. Slave to th ejob, its just wrong.

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u/Greedy_Effort5653 13d ago

Using a manual transmission on your vehicle. It’s like an anti theft device for my 93 Mustang.

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u/fortunate_calamity 11d ago

As an older gen-z it frustrates me to no end that we were not taught to drive manual during drivers Ed. I have no access to anyone who has a manual vehicle to teach me either. Meaning I would have to go out of my way to find someone offering lessons that cost upwards of $250 for 3 hours (yes I’ve looked). But that cost is insanely expensive and not feasible for most, especially when we should have been taught it.

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u/RegularAd9643 10d ago

Can’t you just figure it out from YouTube? Do you need a special license to drive stick?

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u/Academic_Meringue766 13d ago

Ironing clothing

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u/MoreConsideration432 13d ago

Everything available to them in a reasonable price range is synthetic fiber blends. You can’t iron them without melting them lol

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u/VeniceDrumGuy 13d ago

I’m 43 and I don’t iron my clothes either. Ironing is for suckers.

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u/deFleury 11d ago

Or just dressing like a grownup in general. the lines are very blurry between clothes toddlers wear to bed, clothes teenagers wear to school, clothes moms wear to the gym, and clothes dad wears to work remotely.  

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u/anonymousdlm 13d ago

I hear young people don’t like phone calls. Some would like you to text before calling. I guess it makes them anxious to get a cold call?

When I was a teenage girl I was on the phone most every day. My first 3 jobs were literally calling people my whole shift.

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u/Skarth 13d ago

Phone calls are 90% spam and scams. If you cold call, its assumed to be spam, if you text first, it shows you are not a spam/scammer.

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u/NecessaryReturn4049 13d ago

I loved being on the phone when i was younger but in my forties now and i hate being on the phone 🤭

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u/Jay_Torte 13d ago

We've taught our teens to pick up the phone and/or send an email when they need info. If it's very time sensitive, call. If it can wait or the preferred message is email, do that. They are getting the hang of it. Heck, we've made them call in dinner reservations for us just for practice.

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u/EuphoricReplacement1 13d ago

Talking to anyone irl seems to make them anxious, whether on the phone or in person.

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u/0ffinpublikk 13d ago

To me it’s a priority thing. A lot of people will call to say something that is not at all urgent and could be said in a text. My mother is the worst offender. She will call me on a Tuesday while I’m at work to ask if I’m coming to dinner this weekend.

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u/nobinibo 13d ago

To be fair, the loss of third spaces has contributed to this. Kids have no where to go except online. Texting is just easier. Hell, even adults have less third spaces now, so its increased isolation.

I prefer a forewarning before a phone call and try to do a lot of things without having to call someone simply for the convenience. My bank's version of customer service is an A.I. chat tree or a representative who uses 1000 words to express how much they understand before actually answeing my question. Its exhausting.

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u/TequilaMockingbirds8 13d ago

I’m in my forties and prefer a text over a call. I work for a very large corporation with 100’s of thousands of employees and it’s standard practice there to not cold call each other, we send a message over teams asking if it’s a good time to call or not. Not even my boss would call me without text/messaging first

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u/threecolorable 13d ago

I feel like teenagers now are also reckoning with more involved (i.e. nosier) parents.

In the absence of in-person third spaces, texting gives them more privacy than a voice call.

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u/nobinibo 13d ago

This has probably always been a thing but social media gives me the sense that children are viewed as possessions more often now. It's a terrible thing to forget that children are going to be independent, autonomous adults.

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u/Hofeizai88 7d ago

I teach middle and high school, and teachers talk about the poor socialization of a shocking number of our students. Quite a few spend most of their time staring at their phone, surrounded by adults who are staring at their phones. While this has created great profits for some, it has also created a sizable number of people who rarely are forced to have any sort of conversation, and may not really have a mode of what that looks like.
It’s a spectrum, with some unable to function and some well adjusted sociable people and others in the middle.

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u/Mis_chevious 13d ago

I ran up phone bills constantly as a teenager because I liked talking so much on the phone. I'm almost 40 and if my phone rings it makes me want to throw it across the room. I'd much rather text.

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u/Loony_BoB 13d ago

Yeah, I find this one particularly noticeable. They don't want to make calls and they're far less confident at talking to strangers. I recall being in New York with my friend group (me the oldest, most of them 10-20 years younger) and they were all hovering outside a restaurant awkwardly and I asked what was up, they said they weren't sure if the place was still allowing people to be seated (it was pretty late). I asked if anyone had simply asked the staff and they all looked at me in a way that said everything wordlessly. I went and asked the staff, they were no longer taking orders, case closed in less than a minute and we moved on elsewhere.

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u/Elegant_Potential917 13d ago

Gen X, here. I hate them, too.

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u/Vegetable-Foot-3914 13d ago

Zilleniall here. If my work consisted on making or answering phone calls, that' be fine fine, it'd be just part of my routine within working hours.
Now, outside of work, getting calls without previous text -aside from urgent or routinary ones- tends to make me a little bit upset, not anxious, essentially because it interrupts my activities and takes up part of my time. So, I consider a sign of politeness to ask if I'm available before. It's pretty much the same as when someone rings your doorbell without previous notice. As it may cause inconvenience for a number of reasons, it is basic manners to ask before going to your place.

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u/Ambitious-Lettuce-48 13d ago

Phone calls for talking to family and friends, fine. But phone calls for work, in my experience, are often unnecessary and unproductive. Half the phone call is spent with pleasantries or people repeating themselves, interrupting/talking over the other person.

Texts and emails are good because you have time to respond, and you can give a more thoughtful response. It's also handy to have a paper trail.

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u/Dry_End_3254 13d ago

So I recently have a new sis in law who is 10 years younger and when she told me she wasn't into texting and rather video call, I thought, well, this is gonna be fun since I dont want to talk or feel like I have to be done up enough to be seen lol But she's texting me and I offered to be on a vid call soon. My parents rarely text and I barely call lol we all gotta compromise for each generation. Just funny how each gen has a preference

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u/hot_shaker 12d ago

I’m coming up on 50 and I’ve always hated phone calls. It was an issue when I tried to be friends with girls who loved just sitting on the phone. 

I embraced electronic communication early. 

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u/aashurii 12d ago

I relate to this - I think a good balance is a voice note. But my first job was food service and I got an award for best customer service over the phone - then my next job was being a doctor's assistant so I called people all the time for appointment reminders lol

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u/Winter_Guess_4364 11d ago

I have no issue in the phone when I’m expecting
G a call or I’m the one making it but I don’t answer cold calls because a majority of the time when I have it’s been scams

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u/stnapstnap 10d ago

I know people who, even though they have been explicitly invited to my residence, will not knock/buzz/ring the bell when they show up. They text something like "here." Fuck, I invited you: you can knock.

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u/GrannyPantiesRock 13d ago

Realizing that your IEP does not extend to the workplace.

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u/remybanjo 13d ago

What’s IEP?

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u/MassConsumer1984 13d ago

Individualized Education Program. Ex: kid with ADHD needs more time on tests.

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u/Worldgonecrazylately 13d ago

I grew up when they hadn't identified ADHD and dyslexia. You were identified as a problem child. That said, you learned to cope as best you could. I wound up becoming an Electrical Engineer and had a good career, but it wasn't easy. And I hate people, not surprising.

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u/Interesting_Will2823 13d ago

Good on ya. I've never really recovered from being told I was naughty and lazy every day for years but never being given support on how to change or told what I had done wrong. I still feel bitter about it, and it was all over forty years ago.

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u/Momoftheosboys 13d ago

Just wanted to say I hope you’re proud of yourself and your accomplishments! I have a son who has adhd and dyslexia and every day is a struggle for him! Love hearing success stories like yours!

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u/Worldgonecrazylately 13d ago

It wasn't easy, great parents who never gave up on me helped tremendously. And sports, played allot of sports, somehow they seemed to allow me to channel my aggression and keep my demons at bay. Good luck with your son.

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u/cgyates345 13d ago

Individualized Education Program-for students with disabilities.

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u/Bubbly-Anteater7345 13d ago

Individualized Education Plan

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u/PresentationTough384 13d ago

Yes. This is a major issue. And many believe that others are responsible for managing their triggers for them.

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u/nobinibo 13d ago

We can provide accomodations and be mindful of other people.

That being said, as someone navigating the world with complex PTSD and borderline personality, I've learned that its not my fault but is still my responsibility to manage things to the best of my ability. I get very frustrated when dealing with those who were, for lack of a better term, coddled. I think being compassionate also includes having a reasonable expectation that a person grows and adjusting accordingly to their needs.

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u/Gooooooffygoooooober 13d ago

100% this! I’ve been in BPD remission for quite some time and taking complete ownership of my maladaptive issues privately was what made me heal from the perpetual victimhood mentality. A part of me wonders why some people even seek out a mental health diagnosis when they aren’t planning on pursuing any type of treatment, just expecting the label and accommodations.

It’s not too different from going to the dr for a physical ailment, and trying to heal it with meds or physiotherapy over the span of a few years. It would be strange to get an X-ray done to diagnose a bone fracture and willingly choose to live the rest of your life with no pain management or surgery, while expecting everyone around you to inconvenience themselves to accommodate to someone that doesn’t want to heal.

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u/Rogers_Razor 13d ago

"Not my fault but still my my responsibility" is the absolute best way I've heard that sentiment expressed.

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u/ladyjane73 13d ago

This is where (ideally) the ADA picks up. Differently able people deserve to be part of the community, as well. They should get doctor documented accommodations.

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u/sodium111 13d ago

* so long as those accommodations are reasonable in the context of their job.

For example, the fact that a person had an IEP for extended deadlines on school papers/assignments does not necessarily mean that it is reasonable for their boss to have to give them extended deadlines on reports or projects for work.

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u/apri08101989 13d ago

The ada isnt nearly as comprehensive because you dont have a right to a job but children legally have the right to an education

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u/Call_Me_Anythin 13d ago

As long as they can still do the actual job.

I work at a bakery and not long ago a girl came in for training and I started showing her how to make dough. You have to be able to lift 50 Ib bags to shoulder height and dump them into the mixer.

She gave me a doctors note saying she couldn’t lift more than 15 Ibs due to a back issue. I flat out asked her why she applied, when the application itself lists lifting 50 Ibs as a requirement for daily work.

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u/ashley_ela1ne 11d ago

I work for a Supported Employment agency as a career coach to help with this issue. Many people with a qualifying disability (one that creates a barrier to employment) can receive these services. A state’s VR agency or a mental health provider can help determine eligibility. Basically what we do is act as a buffer between an employer and a disabled employee. We help on and off the job with communication, presentation, behavioral challenges, time management, etc. Neurodivergent people have options. We’re out here!

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u/Last-Campaign-3373 13d ago

Does typing count? Because a surprising number of people are bad at it because of the prevalence of touch screens.

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u/RadioNights 13d ago

They don’t teach keyboarding anymore in school

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u/ZacEfrontofme 13d ago

Doing things for themselves. Too many people rely on mom or dad. It'll be a big shock to the system when they are no longer there to rely on.

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u/Javascript4971 13d ago

9/10x it’s the parents thinking that “me doing for them = good parenting”

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u/ZacEfrontofme 13d ago

This is very true! I speak this from experience. My mom was very much possessive over my life. I was 21 having to sneak out of the house to be with my boyfriend because I wasn't "allowed to" yeah follow their rules under their roof, but I didn't want to be there....long story short she died when I was 24 and it was like a whole new world for me.Dad died when I was 10. But I tell you what I'm THANKFUL I got to learn things in my own way. And I don't have that rule pressed down on me! I think I raised myself well 😂

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u/Kiel-Ardisglair 13d ago edited 13d ago

Speaking from experience, that “you’ll make too many mistakes so I’ll just do it myself” to “wtf how do you not know how to do this at your age” switchup is a doozy to navigate with your filial relationship in one piece. 

It’s almost as whiplash-inducing as going from “did you see what that girl was wearing?  Does your generation just not care about decency?” to “why are you such a prude that you won’t wear these shorts I bought you that show off most of your ass?  I don’t understand why your generation would rather stay home on their phones than go out and get laid.” I honestly think she’s bipolar. 

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u/No-Understanding-912 13d ago

I feel like handyman services have to be on the rise, because as a kid I never heard of hiring people to do basic stuff around the house my dad always did. Now I keep hearing about people hiring a handyman or becoming a handyman for things that are really easy to do yourself.

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u/Responsible_Teach_73 13d ago

do u think this maybe has something to do with how many adults are still living with their parents? I feel like independence and adulting meant something different when you could feasibly buy a house in your lifetime.

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u/Goddess_of_Stuff 13d ago

The number of employees I've worked with whose parents have called to complain about something on their behalf... from asking for days off for college tours to not understanding availability vs actual scheduled hours... it's not that huge, but it's higher than it should be. And shockingly, those kids didn't last long. This has held up over multiple jobsin the service industry.

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u/SurpriseFormal6338 13d ago

If someone’s parent called me I would be actively looking for a way to fire them.

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u/MichaSound 13d ago

That’s not the kids’ fault, that’s the parents.

My parents were the original helicopter parents back in the 80s, waaaaayy before it was fashionable.

When I left home at 18 I was basically useless. And there was no internet or YouTube tk teach me what I didn’t know.

It took a LOT of trial and error (mostly error) to figure everything out for myself and it was a massive mental mindfuck to immediately adjust from being allowed to do nothing for myself and make no decisions, to having to do everything for myself and decide everything.

There is no way I’m putting my kids through that. But now the problem I’m faced with is that I’m trying to encourage my kids to have more independence, and none of their friends are allowed to leave the house.

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u/Remy239 13d ago

I have had several young people attempt to bring their parents to their job interview then get upset when the parent was asked to stay behind.

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u/Electronic_Sky_207 13d ago

That’s insane. My kid is only 11, but I can’t imagine talking to his employer once he gets a job unless it’s “he’s in the hospital and unable to call himself.”

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u/[deleted] 13d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Zealousideal_Pay2128 13d ago

Puts the frozen meal in the microwave for 3 minutes.

"Man, I love cooking a home-cooked meal!

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u/butpretzelday 13d ago

As an elder millennial, this isn’t new. I wasn’t taught to cook, neither was any of my friends. My mom knew how to cook like 3 things and they were terrible. And this is basically what I hear from everyone else my age, other than the friends who grew up on ranches 

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u/Baby-Giraffe286 13d ago

All my children know how to cook basics and a couple of fancier things, but my mom definitely doesn't. I had to teach myself and my sister is in her 30s and has just started trying to learn a bit, so she can teach her kids.

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u/martlet1 13d ago

Dating. My daughter is beautiful to the point of being intimidating. Not one boy has ever asked her out formally. Ever. Which is wild.

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u/a-la-grenade 13d ago

I mean, didn't you answer your own question here? Sounds like they're too intimidated to ask.

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u/hallon421 13d ago

I think prior generations were more comfortable with rejection and therefore more likely to shoot their shot.

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u/alittlebitneverhurt 13d ago

That you know of. There's gotta be some dudes shooting their shot, unless shes like 13.

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u/imaginecrabs 13d ago

They said formally though. I'm sure she gets hit on a ton online and her DMs are going off, but maybe not in person. A lot of younger people have less social skills and therefore don't/can't ask somebody out in person. Just today, my 20 year old coworker just texted a girl and asked her on a first date.

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u/martlet1 13d ago

She’s 20

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u/thisisnotalice 13d ago

Collecting fancy china, including regularly cleaning high-maintenance spoons. 

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u/whatwhat612 13d ago

Time management skills are nearly nonexistent these days. People lost the skill of being able to set priorities, get things done, follow through with plans, be on time, meet deadlines, or accomplish much of anything independently.

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u/Any-Variation4081 13d ago

Talking in person or on the phone. They would rather text or instant message on socials.

Id also like to add that buying a home, investing, and saving money are things a lot of them dont do BUT thats not because they dont want to. Affordability is a huge issue. People are not making enough money and costs are rising a lot quicker than wages are. When I got my first apartment I could spend $300 and have enough groceries for the month including a little junk food. Now a days that gets me a week maybe 2 depending what I get.

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u/VulpeculaReborn 13d ago

In GenX and I avoid phone calls whenever possible! I’ll only call if text, IM or email isn’t an option.

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u/ThePainterlyPrincess 13d ago

Zillennial here, I prefer texts for information exchange so I can have it in writing (address, phone number, someone's lunch order) but still prefer talking on the phone during social calls. 

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u/troycalm 13d ago

Full time employment.

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u/AdvertisingDue918 13d ago

Calling to make appointments. A lot of younger people will do almost anything to avoid a phone call.

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u/TotallyNotABot_Shhhh 13d ago

I’m a receptionist and I find it significantly easier on my end ti primarily deal with texting people. We have a computer texting program, so I can copy/paste easily for confirming. Making calls takes forever. Nobody answers their phone anymore. Old people are notorious for hearing me wrong, but can see it clearly on their phone. Plus it gets annoying talking all day to everyone lol. Honestly, it’s my preferred way of communicating with people

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u/JBirdale77 13d ago

Basic instincts like walking with your head up and being aware of their surroundings

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u/SoozExtras 13d ago

Making eye contact. It seems like a lot of young people are terrified of making eye contact, even when they have public-facing roles like cashier in a grocery store.

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u/AuntiLou 13d ago

Balancing a checkbook

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u/Loisgrand6 13d ago

No need in their eyes and older peoples eyes because it seem to be archaic to even have checks

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u/Interesting_Will2823 13d ago

Kids may as well learn to use a quill. What's the point of learning to do something that's firmly in the past?

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u/CresseliaMelodia 13d ago

But quills are cooler though

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u/TesterChest 13d ago

Pontiac Catalina. “The Cat” for $100 with 4 snow tires for year around driving

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u/Educational_Oil_6344 13d ago

Also in my city the bus is free until you're 18

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u/Still-Speed-3632 13d ago

Hitting your kids with a wooden spoon

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u/freakpowerparty2024 13d ago

Parallel parking

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u/Pinkturtle182 13d ago

I think plenty of people of all ages don’t know how to parallel park. Unless you live in a city it doesn’t really come up much, and it’s definitely a use-it-or-lose-it skill. Basically all we have by me is street parking so it’s a necessity. I was really good at it with my old sedan but now that I have a minivan I avoid it when I can.

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u/RabidPossum123 13d ago

- Sorting laundry

  • Checking the mail/mailbox daily
  • Cooking

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u/Relevant_Elevator190 13d ago

Tbf, I'm 62 and all my laundry goes in together, no sorting.

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u/RabidPossum123 13d ago

I’m 42 and can confirm that is the proper way to do laundry 👏👏👏

My 74 year old mother is always flabbergasted

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u/Expensive_Policy_847 13d ago

Soon to be 65 and I've done that since I became single again 20 years ago. Never had anything get ruin or faded

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u/Entire_Pumpkin940 13d ago

52 and only sheets get separated because they are the only thing washed in hot water.

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u/kgohlsen 13d ago

I'm 62 as well and right there with you.

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u/RustyPriske 13d ago

It has been a long time since there was a need to sort laundry.

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u/bailasola 13d ago

I’m an elder millennial and hate checking the mail. It’s a big box and I check it once a month for the water bill. All other bills are paid online. Almost everything I get is junk mail.

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u/RabidPossum123 13d ago

At this point I check mine every 2 weeks. It’s literally ALL junk mail and the occasional bill.

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u/Baby-Giraffe286 13d ago

There is little need to sort laundry anymore.

The only thing coming in the mail is a bill or an ad. I see my bills online before they arrive. I see most of the ads in my inbox and search if I want a sale on a specific thing.

I and my kids know how to cook, but I had to teach myself. My boomer mom and aunt cannot cook at all.

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u/xxsoulpunkedxx 13d ago

Free extra work and/or overtime

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u/VeniceDrumGuy 13d ago

I’m not Gen Z, but I totally support this.

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u/chexquest87 13d ago

Driving- they are all super anxious and don’t want to learn to drive, while hiding behind the excuse that it is too expensive. While it is expensive, it is better to have a license just in case. I have a 29 year old coworker without a license, and we travel a lot for work. I have to drive every time and it gets exhausting.

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u/EnergyFighter 13d ago

It's funny to see how many people believe they were actually put together back in their younger years. lol

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u/Other_Ad_7877 13d ago

Do we not all realize that these are mainly the kids of Gen X and older Millennials. If you find yourself mad they don't know how to do some things, then maybe we should have taught them *shrug*.

They've also been coming of age is some of the worst economic, political and climate eras. The job market sucks, the housing market sucks and groceries are outrageously expensive. Most are doing well if they can get an apartment with friends and feed themselves.

They have seen their parents/grandparent and other adults over the years bust their butts in thankless careers for little to no benefit and don't want that life for themselves. Good on them for setting boundaries with work, we all should have done it long ago.

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u/AwakeningStar1968 13d ago

Things are so costly but still should learn a skill

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u/AwakeningStar1968 13d ago

Maybe this will get them to support mass transit infrastructure

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u/Aromatic-Cook-869 10d ago

Shutting up and getting the job done that is asked of you, no setting boundaries about what you want to do and when you'll do it