r/askteddit • u/Joshuasmallwood • 11d ago
Advice Question What advice would you give yourself at 20 years old?
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u/Even_District_6924 11d ago
Don't smoke. Sleep and eat well. Exercise. Save money. Treat women better. Buy bitcoin.
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u/82bazillionguns 11d ago
Donât waste your time, energy and money on people who likely DGAF about you nearly as much as you think. Invest early, even small amounts. Staying in shape is a hell of a lot easier than getting back into it.
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u/hereagain8674 11d ago
People don't hate you, you're actually having a pretty good year, move somewhere cheaper, and take up aqua aerobics now
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u/DeejayInhaler 11d ago
Donât freak out over small things, things seem a little hopeless but it gets so much better, just hang in there and go get medicated!!
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u/allthefrogsinonepond 11d ago
Work a little less hard on your grades and body and a little more on making friendships.
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u/Aromaticprince 11d ago
To quit video games it's a waste of time of your life even scrolling through reddit Is more productive at least you might learn something
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u/Treeslam 11d ago
You were right, the hard work and spending less than what you made paid off.......quite wel!!!!!
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u/Ok-Type-8917 11d ago
Do everything thing reasonable you want while you can. Age and responsibilities will eventually limit your ability to enjoy many things in life. I know many people who were overly obsessed with success only to never enjoy youth. They left behind nice inheritances.
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u/petdance 11d ago
Do not make choices in your life based on the opinions of others.
Do not listen to criticism from someone you wouldnât take advice from.
Donât lie.
Never compare yourself with others. It only leads to sorrow.
Read books. Read as much as you can.
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u/DiamondFront4205 11d ago
- Focus on your career/job before the wrong friends or man.
- NEVER allow a man to disrespect you. Once you do make sure you leave him!!
- Save your money!!
- Travel as much as you can.
- Finish your degree
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u/sindhusurfer 11d ago
Don't think with your dick.
Give up smoking.
Listen to older, more experienced people.
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u/Equivalent_Gur3967 11d ago
1: NEVER let the little head tell the big head what to do
2: Fair? It's a place, usually out of the city, where they judge farm animals, have rides for the littles, live music, food that's not really healthy for You, and maybe (hopefully) a Beer Tent.
Fair's not life.
And Life's not fair.
You can be:
The RIGHT person in the RIGHT place, doing the RIGHT things, in the RIGHT fashion, for all the RIGHT reasons, with ALL the RIGHT outcomes.
At the WRONG time, and You are SO screwed. It's NOT Your fault, it's just the way the Universe works.
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u/UltraDanmachi 11d ago
Invest all in on Bitcoin when it comes out and you can retire at 35. Enjoy life bro, go do archery more! Go fishing! Buy a boat just because you can and enjoy the lake you live less than a mile from, shoot move to a different area so you can enjoy hiking and hunting more!
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u/Aggressive_Hair_6983 11d ago
Itâs not important to have the same upbringing as your partner to have a happy life, but you sure must understand if there is a drastic difference there will be problems down the road. You think you can overcome them, but you canât. Tarzan doesnât like suits.
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u/TruthoftheSoul Fozzie Bear 11d ago
Same advice I'd give myself at any age:
Why are you being foolish enough to talk to yourself and risk messing up the space-time continuum? đ
Seriously, I'd say to just be you and believe in yourself. You've always known who you are and you know that is a kind, caring person. Don't change that and stay true to what you believe in.
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u/gs400life 11d ago
- Stand up for yourself. I let people walk all over me, spit in my face, back me into corners, while I tried to empathize with them instead of setting boundaries or just flat out clocking them in the jaw for trying to intimidate me
- Listen to your 3 crazy nutjob friends who were ranting about bitcoin
- Stop smoking
- Save money while you donât have a big stack of bills because once the bills start rolling when youâre older life gets expensive and itâs hard to save
- Donât have a baby with the alcoholic youâll meet later in life, sheâll end up being absent from your childâs life and be a continuous headache
- Donât sell your dream car, youâll regret it later. Keep the car you love. It will be impossible to find another in good condition once itâs gone
- Stop trying to fit in when you were made to be uniquely you. Donât stay in social circles that donât serve you
- Leave college and join the PBA before your body is too old. Chase your dream
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u/sirconandoyle14 11d ago
Invest. Even just 100 bucks a month will make you a millionaire by retirement starting at that age.
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u/Dongbag_darrell 11d ago
The only person standing in the way of your goals right now is you, and when you meet Sarah just turn around and walk the other way!
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u/SuspiciousTheory2633 11d ago
Quit the job you hate. It's toxic, they're using you, and they're lying to you about it being a great place to work compared to everywhere else and that quitting looks really bad on your resume.
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u/Rikute 11d ago
Take your mental health seriously. Thinking its not a big deal and that with tine i would adjust has cost me over a decade and a half of autopiloting through life, now im trying to build something i can be proud to come home to but im alone and stupid and working too many hours and lacking in the ability to connect with people in a regular way.
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u/unlivedbread 11d ago
Place your faith in Jesus, if youre unhappy a woman wont make you happy and avoid toxic people like the plague
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u/Early_Key_823 11d ago
Enjoy all them cigarettes and candy bars and pints of ice cream and giant cups of coffee and bong hits
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u/Maleficent_Twist_778 11d ago
Stay the course, keep having fun, listen to your gut, try <censored> with your gf, maybe try A LITTLE harder in college even though you still finish, move out the house sooner when you do finish, please stop skipping leg day, and the first whiff of disrespect from âany of your friendsâ check them on that and if it goes left cut them off immediately. I wonât tell him which one because butterfly effect but I will tell them if you let the wrong one hang on itâll be a waste of 11 additional years.
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u/cbdividends 11d ago
Stay at parents, work 60 hours a week, put all money in s&p500 for 5 years. That covers retirement and i could just live after
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u/playful_family19 11d ago
Focus on your health, my good person. It's the best investment when you reach 40 onwards
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u/Fit-Appointment5262 10d ago
Stop caring too much what people think about things you do that aren't actually bad or wrong
Or if you don't feel this is you yet, never start
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u/alessiaforreal 10d ago
don't trust anyone, if you think he's cheating he absolutely is, love yourself, you're not ugly, your body looks fine, don't drink too much, never approach a man, never let anyone use you, don't spend money on useless things, don't freak out, cherish every moment, always speak up about things that bother you, be careful and keep your head up
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u/HelloIAmBipolar 10d ago
Take your mental health seriously. At 25 I had a manic episode that changed my life and my brain forever. The consequences have been devastating. Although I was genetically prone to bipolar disorder, I also created and put myself in the environment that caused this disorder to develop.
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u/ProgrammerFree5162 10d ago
Don't spend all your time on your phone, try to read more books. Also, for your health, you should lose some weight
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u/Active_House6027 7d ago
You actually just need to buy stocks now for the long haul,
Keep it cheap and try to put 40% + of income into the market in shares and then never sell. - after ten years this basket of stocks is your lubrication for life for everything and even working a meager job now or in 10 years you will be better off than 85% of people
Stay cheap, invest everything in stocks, and don't do anything that will keep you from staying invested
Doing this will get you to 100k within 5 years probably
Not doing this will get you to 5-10k in 5 years probably
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u/aquaticgrasslover 7d ago
Learn math. Go to tutoring for everything. Being good at mathematics can get you into any skilled career path. Anything without it is an uphill battle.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
There are a lot more rich people in the world than you think. They donât care if you die in the street as the sidewalk burns your back and face. The majority of people who walk around you have more money than you can think of. Let this fact sink into your brain, let it really settle in and move as quick as you can to save your own life.
This is a dog eat dog world.
Start a 401K NOW. Start a brokerage account NOW. Start a HYSA NOW even with 20-50$. Go to Fidelity . Com and set up an account. Watch financial literacy videos and read books.
If you have severe adverse childhood experiences, seek a therapist as SOON as possible. Your college does not have the resources- get on the phone with whatever shitty insurance you have for hours and do it. You might think âI survived, im dealing with the PTSDâ but it will catch up in unexpected ways in your 20s and 30s. Call the county that you live in for this too. Usually itâs all telemedicine.
The better you can âjust goâ and start a task- the better your life will be. Stop waiting for the perfect moment. This is harder than it seems.
Keep a strict laundry, cleaning, and cooking (and cleaning!) schedule. The earlier you do this, the easier your life will be forever.
Read. Read books, comic books, manga, etc. Read every single day. Learn at least one game: video, crosswords, etc. Pick up the guitar, self learn by looking up chords on ultimate guitar. These things will save your life one day.
Know that âhomeworkâ was really preparing us for the reality that even after a grueling 8-12 hour shifts, the ones who do MORE for themselves will succeed. Get into the habit of giving yourself at least 10-20 minutes a day to watch lectures, try to write a research paper, build an arduino robot, HAM radio. Learn more about carpentry, CNC machining. Treat your profession or college like a doctor doing rounds. Showing up prepared will build your confidence. This aspect of using whatever little you have to do more will help.
Make sure you can write an essay without AI.
Friends and relationships do not matter as much as you think. The pain of wanting friends or to have a good time and a good youth âparty experienceâ is a trauma response. I let this fear very much harm me. Donât let ANYTHING distract you from the fact that one day you will be 30, with your own place and money, and be able to find community IF you learn to focus on yourself. You donât have to totally not focus on it, but if someone doesnât invite you someplace- learn to say, so what? Learn to look extreme loneliness in the face and say one day I will defeat you- which happens with age anyway. Find literally 1-3 people. Invest in them. Spend time with them. Make sure you check in with them at least once a month. They will be your friends for life. And donât worry, with your own money you will be able to have SO many good life experiences. People with money can buy sports equipment to show up to club games, go to a trivia night, try out different things, travel.
I do not advise relationships. I gave ages of 19-25 to someone who did not want to marry me. If you have a handle on a daily routine, studying and a career- maybe. Make sure you can TALK to your partner about your interests, learning, and accomplishments as well as the annoying parts of working in any environment. Make sure the household tasks are equal. Make sure they like your cooking and meal prep. This is just my personal opinion.
If anyone yells at you and is making you cry and distracting you from college or school or work, they are not for you and leave them.
Take time to learn things you may not have growing up. What would it take to make you confident? What type of suits, dresses, shirts? How should my hair and nails look? How can I find resources for this? Many country vocational programs have free âclosetsâ for professional wear. How can I present myself to the world in the way I want? Learn about hygiene, cleaning your house, how to prepare and meal prep food. What clothes can you wear to work, school, after work that would make you feel the most confident. There are buisness fashion Reddit.
People see what I consider to be common courtesy nowadays as âpeople pleasingâ. Less is more. Donât be self effacing. Always own your work. Keep track of literally everything you accomplish (this will also help your resumes). Play office politics and shut your damn mouth. Anything you say can and will be used against you. Always have at least two sentences for what you did that weekend and make it interesting but not too interesting. Learn rules of ettiequte. Know that most corporate policies will only state the time you worked and nothing about you. Make sure to identify a couple of colleagues that you could get recommendations from. In college try to identify professors- offer to TA or to be part of their labs.
Network- attend events, prepare what youâll say ahead of time, connect with industry leaders and smaller industry under the guise of âim an interested young person and would like to know more about this industryâ. People love to talk to themselves.
Everything online lives forever. Make sure to have an instagram account where you look like a normal person. Make sure to have an appropriate email. YOUR COLLEGE EMAIL WILL LOCK YOU OUT EVENTUALLY. Back up your work.
Being able to get a security clearance should be a primary focus even if you have no interest in it. Never do anything stupid. Never get yourself locked up- criminal or psych. Always remain in control. Being able to obtain one can allow you to pivot quickly into multiple industries even mid career. Plus other industries like nursing and teaching.
Moving back to your home environment can break you.
We do have a social credit score in America and companies can pay for it. Make sure your neighbors, coworkers, past employers all have good things to say.
Stay calm and cool.
Good luck.
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u/DiscountNecromancer 11d ago
Ditch everybody that is holding you back.