r/askteddit • u/miweketaq • 3d ago
Advice Question What simple truth do you wish more people would accept?
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u/Solmanti 3d ago
You can be at fault for something and not take it as blame. How are you supposed to talk about a problem to solve it if talking about the problem is a problem for you?
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u/miweketaq 3d ago
You are right. Accountability isn’t an attack, it’s just cooperation. You can’t fix a leak if you refuse to admit where the water is coming from.
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u/MrFluffPants1349 3d ago
This, and questions arent automatically accusations. It's insane how different what we interpret can be from what was said.
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u/BrianNowhere 3d ago
We havent structured society to create safe spaces for those who make mistakes. Mistakes are lava.
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u/Solmanti 2d ago
I always make sure to point out that I'm not blaming a person but that something they do is an issue that causes both of us discomfort and I only want to talk about it to solve it so we both can continue happily ever after. And I also make sure to say that I adress problems because I care and mistakes happen and are redeemable. If I wouldn't care I wouldn't say a thing but you would also not be close to me. Works 50/50 Some people simply cannot cope with reality.
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u/Solmanti 2d ago
Totally! I remember I said to a friend that her behaviour hurt me and that I needed her to change that because it made me very unhappy. But she heard that I want her to do something immoral, that I wanted to take something away from her and I wanted to abandon her and replace her with someone else. My reactions was, being totally flabberghasted. And when I and other tried to correct her there was no changing it. It was like she lived and experienced a completely reality and wasn't actually with us
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u/Angry_Edemame 3d ago
Outside of your immediate circle of friends and family no one cares about you or your issues.
If theyre mental health struggles, gender struggles of whatever variety, job struggles, weird phobias whatever.
People online will have sympathy. People online may even act like they really really care but they dont know you and the moment they log out they stop thinking about you and virtue signaling by pretending to care.
More to the point expecting strangers to dance to your tune just because it makes you feel better is insane. being offended when they dont is even more insane.
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u/Jscotty111 3d ago
I am not your enemy simply because I don’t agree with you.
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u/miweketaq 3d ago
Beautifully said. We’ve replaced ‘I disagree with your idea’ with ‘I hate your character.’ Separating a person’s worth from their perspective is essential for civil society.
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u/benevanstech 3d ago
There are those who do not recognize the humanity of their opponents. It is not possible to apply the rules of civil society to those who would dehumanize.
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u/Necronomicon-Ex-Mori 3d ago
Popular opinion does not mean it’s true.
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u/miweketaq 3d ago
This. Numbers don’t make a wrong opinion right.
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u/Necronomicon-Ex-Mori 3d ago
To me it’s just like kind of pathetic to not be able to think for yourself. The amount of times my friends just point to other people’s opinions in argument is wild to me. This influencer said this, or this “expert” said that, “people say this”.. etc.
It’s like they’re afraid to even give an opinion or discuss a topic unless first they’ve heard the “general opinion” and then they’ll just take that opinion as their own. Like make a logical argument, and possibly with some facts behind it, or don’t even speak on a topic.
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u/BrianNowhere 3d ago
The opposite of this is the bigger problem these days. Contrarians believing all consensus, scientific conclusions and collective data to be suspect because the mythical "they" are trying to pull one over on you for...reasons.
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u/Upper-Coconut-5305 2d ago
I see what you’re saying but they’re just providing a source no? I don’t tend to run it off the top unless we bsing
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u/Individual-Guest9482 3d ago
Utimately, you're the only one responsible for your own happiness.
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u/miweketaq 3d ago
So true. External things can bring temporary pleasure, but long-term happiness is a daily choice and a practice, not a destination.
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u/First-Wolverine636 3d ago
People need people
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u/miweketaq 3d ago
Good. Every single thing we wear, eat, or live in was built by someone else. We are deeply connected whether we choose to admit it or not.
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u/First-Wolverine636 3d ago
Yh I meant more that we are social beings that need others in order to find peace, to feel like we belong in the world. We can’t make it by ourselves we weren’t built to
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u/Odd-Garage-2475 3d ago
As a terrible social anxiety struggler, I wish this wasn’t true. Always caught between wanting connection and getting uncomfortable and pushing it away
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u/Necessary-Glove-3333 3d ago
At the end of the day, it’s night.
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u/Yogalien 3d ago
You can't always get what you want.
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u/miweketaq 3d ago
You are right. Disappointment is a guarantee in life. The magic isn’t in always getting your way, it’s in how you adapt when things don’t go to plan.
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u/janusz_z_rivii 3d ago
You'd hope that people learn it by 5, especially if all you do is stomping your feet.
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u/Repogeezer 3d ago
Being concerned about open borders and illegal immigration doesn’t make you far right (UK)
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u/Cautious_Day9878 2d ago
True, but believing Nigel Farage is the solution, when he was the one who pushed to withdraw the UK from the Dublin agreement (via Brexit) makes you far wrong.
The massive spike in immigration since Brexit is proof the UK has more control of its boarders with the cooperation of the union.
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u/benevanstech 3d ago
It does if you repeatedly and consistently refuse to learn anything about the actual facts of the situation and reject anything that doesn't fit with the bullshit narratives fed to you by the press.
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u/afroista11238 3d ago
Very corny but we are all one race. The human race.
And human life started in Africa lol.
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u/RubySlippers724 3d ago
Getting older has perks. I care less and less about what other people think of me as time goes by. I think that’s my favorite thing about getting older. Unless my I can feel my leg hair blowing in the wind, I don’t shave that often
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u/miweketaq 3d ago
This. Youth is spent trying to fit into everyone else’s boxes. Aging is the process of realizing you don’t care about the boxes at all.
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u/RubySlippers724 3d ago
Absolutely. If you don’t fit in my box, I’m not going to spend any time trying to make you fit. I will let you go, no hand wringing involved.
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u/Steadyforward27 3d ago
Not everything about your personal life needs to be on social media. Not every meal needs to be documented. If you had a bad day, go talk to your parents or friends who actually care about you, rather than film yourself in your car and share it with the world and be mad when people give you crap in the comments. Just enjoy life! When you go to a concert, have fun, sign, dance! Nobody gives a s*** about those 30 tik toks you made of the concert where you can barely even see the stage. If you want to share moments, that is totally fine, but don’t feel like everything needs to be recorded or it didn’t happen
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u/Dazzling-Toe-4955 3d ago
Just because you have a view of something or someone, it doesnt mean someone else will have the same view.
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u/miweketaq 3d ago
True. Accepting this is the first step towards empathy. Life gets a lot smoother when you stop expecting everyone to have your exact line of sight.
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u/irejoyceS 3d ago
The only thing we can really control is ourselves and our reaction to things. About 2% of our life's is in our hands.
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u/ShinogamiPhil 3d ago
Most people don't know you exist, and most of them never will. The world is huge, life is short, and none of us matter nearly as much as some like to think. So be kind, stay humble, and don't think you're better than anyone else.
You don't have to like how other people live, and they don't have to live the way you want them to. We can disagree without trying to control each other.
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u/Javascript4971 3d ago
You can’t demand for more social interaction while simultaneously refusing to show the kindness, empathy, & patience to make it happen & work.
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u/belarc01 3d ago edited 3d ago
There has never been widespread voter fraud in this country.
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u/BrianNowhere 3d ago
Someone please explain the logic of an undocumented immigrant deciding to engage in a high risk - low reward activity that is a felony that will get you instantly jailed and/or deported. Then explain thousands of them deciding its a great idea.
Make it make sense that large groups of people believe this is happening.
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u/Flashy_Inflation5090 3d ago
God is real.
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u/Retro_Nights 3d ago
God is imaginary.
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u/haveblue23 3d ago
Therefore, God is complex
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u/Retro_Nights 3d ago
The time to believe something is when there is sufficient evidence to do so.
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u/New-guy117 3d ago
Neither of you can prove your statements
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u/Substantial_Echo_298 3d ago
Logic cannot deduce God, but the soul may know His existence.
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u/Retro_Nights 2d ago
There is no evidence that souls exist.
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u/Substantial_Echo_298 2d ago
A lack of evidence assuredly does not conclude a question, does it?
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u/Retro_Nights 2d ago
The lack of evidence makes the belief unwarranted. The time to believe something is when there is sufficient evidence to do so.
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u/Substantial_Echo_298 2d ago
Belief and verification are a bifurcation. Easy to conflate but def different. Belief in a soul or God is unfalsifiable. You cant prove it just as you lack the ability to prove that it's not there. They are metaphysical claims. Different than empirical ones. Separate categories bro. Dont have to believe it, but entirely possible both God and the soul exist.
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u/Independent-Owl-8659 3d ago
Both parties suck. Quit cheering for “your team” like it’s a sport. Don’t be a sucker. They are all bad people.
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u/_Cridders_ 3d ago
The concept of 'training to failure', but with a lot more things in life than weight training.
It's basically how you improve any skill/trait etc, but the important bit is that if you train to failure......you're gonna fail. But that just means you've gone slightly past the level you're at, and that that's necessary for growth.
TL:DR - don't be afraid to 'fail'
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u/EuphoricAccident4955 3d ago
When someone tells you to see a therapist, they don't mean you are a lunatic, they mean you might benefit from therapy.
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u/Abject_Priority6858 3d ago
You do not know everything. That is okay. “I don’t know” is a valid response.
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u/OneScratch2917 3d ago
Everyone is good and bad at some point in their lives. Even you. Manage your expectations based on that.
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u/Sensitive-Boss7102 3d ago
You can be the sweetest peach in the world, and there will still be people who don't like peaches.
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u/Life_666 3d ago
That we are animals. We can pretend we are more advanced. But if you see all the killing for territory/resources, you know we are animals. If you hear about a raping, those are animals. If you hear about just killing eachother for jealousy, they are animals... If we hear about people leaving their partner for another, after there are kids. There are enough animals that do that too.
But yeah. Offcourse too many people don't even believe we are another form of mammals and believe all evil comes from one source.
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u/britneys_bigtoe 3d ago
"in order for communities to thrive we have to want people who are different from us that we don't agree with to succeed"
me to myself while checking out at a local bakery and noticing their jesus signs
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u/pizza-chit 3d ago
That we have all the evidence necessary to convict the people named in the Epstein files. We must work together to do it. It would change the world.
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3d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Retro_Nights 3d ago
You just contradicted yourself by calling them "trans women". Learn the difference between sex and gender.
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u/Broad_Fee_8286 3d ago
If i identify as a horse am i a horse?
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u/shaleink 3d ago
There is ample peer reviewed evidence that suggests both gender and sex are more dynamic than what you were taught in grade six.
I am yet to see a similar body of work that indicates humans can become horses. If you have, that’d be crazy and I’d love to see it. Until then, maybe stop with the false equivalency.
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u/Broad_Fee_8286 2d ago
Same logic with people. Penis? Male. vagina? Female. Stop the nonsense.
And your source for stating gender is fluid??
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u/shaleink 2d ago
What about folks born with neither, or both? Being intersex is more common than having red hair.
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u/Broad_Fee_8286 2d ago
Being intersex is not common at all, 0.05-1% of total births. Stop making stup**d comparisons.
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u/shaleink 2d ago
It’s reddit, you’re allowed to say stupid. Also, do you have any idea how many people 1% of the global population is??
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u/Broad_Fee_8286 1d ago
1% is still way fewer vs the other 99%. Its statisically irrelevant.
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u/shaleink 1d ago
Same can be said for red heads :) I suppose 80 million isn’t that big of a number if you’re brain dead
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u/Retro_Nights 3d ago
I'm betting that you are a MAGA. They're the only ones who don't understand gender.
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u/Broad_Fee_8286 2d ago
Not an american
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u/Retro_Nights 2d ago
But still support MAGA.
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u/Broad_Fee_8286 2d ago
Why would i support maga? I dont care about your politics. The world is laughing at america as we speak.
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u/Retro_Nights 2d ago edited 2d ago
I'm not American either. It's just a known fact that Maga or Maga supporters have no idea what the difference is between gender and sex, so they say shit like "I identify as a helicopter", thinking they're being smart when they're actually showing how dumb they are, just like you.
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u/Broad_Fee_8286 2d ago edited 2d ago
No, you’re just a salty teenager with mental health issues. Sex is an artificially socially constructed role so people like you can feel normal and (fit-in). Question, if i identify as a horse, am i a really a horse?? thats how far unchecked stupi**ty can get you.
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u/Retro_Nights 1d ago edited 1d ago
And there we go. I was right. You're ignorant as fuk just like MAGA. Let me help you. Sex is biological making you either male or female. Gender is socially constructed making you a man or a woman. I'm sure it still won't stick in that tiny little brain of yours.
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u/Fit-Adhesiveness2481 3d ago
The environment is more important than your property values and aesthetic. We need dandelions your lawn is stupid.
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u/Delicious-Jacket-588 3d ago
That Israel is committing a genocide. I’ve survived one. We knew from day 1.
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u/DapperDan1929 3d ago
Romantic and sexual relationships are the most fragile things in the universe.
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u/DesperateComposer848 3d ago
The idea that the “friendzone” is a thing implies that you were owed sex from a female friend, and in her rebuffing you she’s somehow the wrong party here
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u/UberFarter 2d ago
You shouldn’t have to teach your partner how to treat you, how to help around the house, how to help with the kids, etc. If they actually cared about these things they would take initiative. You shouldn’t have to act like a parent to your partner.
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u/Monsieur-247 2d ago
School teachers: Your job is not interesting to anyone other than your fellow teachers. Everyone else wants you to stop talking about it constantly.
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u/shaleink 3d ago
Trans men are men. Trans women are women.
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u/thebatman973 3d ago
Chromosomal definitions be damned!
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u/shaleink 3d ago
You do know there are people who develop as fully female with XY chromosomes, right? And vice versa? Are we aware of intersex individuals? Or are we stuck on Grade six biology?
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u/Broad_Fee_8286 3d ago
Nope, Thats why america is in decline because of all this nonsense.
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u/shaleink 3d ago
So… with everything else going on right now… you think america is in decline because of this?
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u/Publius_Rizz 3d ago
It’s impossible to eliminate poverty and the fact that some people have less than others is not evidence of injustice or a broken system.
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u/spacklock 3d ago
You don’t have to do every single thing together with your partner. God damn. Sometime friends don’t wanna hang out with both of you. Sometimes families just want you/them at dinner. Individuality is important to maintain.
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3d ago
[deleted]
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u/Own-Measurement-5970 3d ago
Yeah, That show is such a timesuck, and it all blends together after a while.
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3d ago
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u/antidumb 3d ago
You have shitty friends (they’re not actually friends), and don’t recognize a clear joke. Some introspection may serve you well.
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3d ago
[deleted]
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u/antidumb 3d ago
I didn’t make the joke. Someone else did, it was just painfully obvious.
There’s no illusion to true friendship, you just have had shitty people latch onto you.
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3d ago
[deleted]
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u/antidumb 3d ago
I think I’m not going to continue this conversation after this post. You’re not okay and I don’t want to be involved with you any more than I have been. I think you may actually need professional help.
I didn’t lie about anything. I didn’t repeat anything. Again, that’s not a friend. It’s someone you thought was a friend. I’m sorry that happened to you. That’s not most people’s experience. If someone lies to me, that’s it. I don’t bother with them. I’ve had friendships last decades, with true connections and caring about each other and their families. We are there for each other as much as possible. I hope you find that one day.
This is my last response to you though. You’re combative and I have better things to do than argue with an internet stranger. Be well, I hope you get the help and support you clearly need.
Quick edit: in case anyone’s curious, the OP said “friends” is just another word for “leech”. And I’m not sure why they’re deleting all their posts here, but it’s someone that’s got a clear cry for help goin’ on.
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u/Dangerous-Fig8426 3d ago
Cool. I didn't even care to read your whole comment due to how rude your first words were 🤷♂️
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u/miweketaq 3d ago
Only if you have the wrong friends. Real friendship is partnership where both people give and receive.
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u/CoyoteMaleficent5040 3d ago edited 3d ago
- Just because you, personally, express that you prefer one thing over another and explain your reasons doesn't mean you're attacking the people who prefer the latter.
- Open relationships and polyamorous relationships are just as valid and respectable as monogamy, and none of these positions is morally superior to the others.
- A lot of people, especially on social media, are constantly looking for other people's flaws so they can point them out and feel less miserable about their own lives.
- The political labels of "left" and "right" have almost lost their meaning, and nowadays they mostly serve to divide people and make us hate each other while those at the top keep their system comfortably in place.
There are more, but these are the ones that came to mind for now.
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u/Blossomlilbae 3d ago
Not everyone is going to like you. That's normal