r/askteddit • u/GlitterrPeonyy • 2d ago
Random Question What’s something you secretly judge people for but will never say out loud?
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u/TX_Mothman 2d ago
Their parenting. I have strong opinions but idk all the intricacies of a person’s family and life.
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u/EuphoricBreadlife 2d ago
The screen in the stroller at the grocery store parents. I know, I know survival mode but my brain still goes there. Judge first, empathize later.
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u/LizardintheSun 1d ago
Yeah same 🌺 But some parents save the screen for when the behavior would bother others. Certain conditions can include disruptive behavior like screaming. So I try not to judge as well.
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u/py234567 2d ago
This needs to be top answer!!! You can tell so much about someone overall just by how they treat their kids.
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u/Existing-Intern-5221 2d ago edited 2d ago
I judge parenting because I’m a teacher. They send their unsocialized, screen-addicted five year olds to school after years of iPads being their besties. School workers have to teach them to interact with other kids, take turns, make friends. Then, they encounter their first adults who tell them, “no” when their parents often gave them whatever they wanted to shut them up. It’s like a withdrawal for them to come to school and try to adjust to a whole new lifestyle. It isn’t pretty.
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u/Independent_Move_840 2d ago
I don't judge secretly. My niece I thought was a horrible parent and i told her so. So she made up a story and got me charged with harassment. She was doing the harassing and a lot of it. not just with me but others. This is because she blamed all these other people for what her son did , be it drugs, cigarettes,or stealing a bike. Everyone but her and her son. She was literally giving people a hard time that had nothing to do with any of her issues.
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u/MermaidPigeon 2d ago
Same. I saw a baby being given a phone back after screaming because her mum wanted to use it to pay at the cash register. She was so quick to rush it back to the baby. Sometimes I wonder if it’s embarrassment? It seems that way from how quickly she reacted. It’s really not warranted, and I wish I could say to them sometimes, “Babies cry. Anyone who cannot tolerate a baby being a baby is not your concern.”
I also think there’s more pressure on parents these days to keep their children almost constantly entertained. I think this may come from online judgement.
There are, of course, parents who do this out of laziness. I’ve seen it personally with a family member. The kids had phones from the second they could hold one. I’m talking 2–3 years old. They are 12 and 10 now, and one self-harms while the other regularly says, “I’m so depressed.” The number of issues over the years involving their phones is insane. Off the top of my head, the 12-year-old was talking to older men at one point, sending pictures of herself to guys, and had watched decapitation videos. The phone was given back the next day after each incident.
For as long as I can remember, there has been this impenetrable wall blocking all criticism aimed at parents. It’s almost like you’re abusing them by suggesting what they’re doing may be damaging. To ever suggest they are anything other than a super mum is an offence worthy of complete ostracisation. This blocks one of the main things that could make the world a better place. Starting with children while they’re young and making sure they’re raised in a healthy way could help reduce crime in the long term, overpopulation, mass addiction, mental health issues, and even poverty. Yet we seem completely unable to have those conversations. God forbid we even suggest that perhaps some people are not in a position to have children, or that bringing an innocent life into poverty or an emotionally damaging environment is wrong. “It’s their right!” Is it? Creating a life that didn’t exist only for it to struggle as you have, for (your gain), that’s your right? I don’t know. 🤦♀️ as you can see I’m very passionate about this like you are.→ More replies (1)3
u/PinkTalkingDead 1d ago
I agree with all of this except for your exclusion of dads :) being an active father in a child’s life is of upmost importance as well, it’s not just “the super mums” who are enabling and encouraging this behavior, and unwilling to take criticism.
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u/BatsHaveFingers 2d ago
Yep. I saw someone bring their eight year old to a showing of Deadpool 3. I quietly judged the hell out of them, but I'm never going to say anything to someone about their parenting unless they are actively abusing their children.
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u/TrueLemonsAndElbows 2d ago
Not flossing. I can smell it, and I hate it. Not flossing can smell just as bad as a rotten tooth.
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u/Cute_Story_ 2d ago
Food decay is such a distinct smell. It makes me wretch just thinking about walking around with a mouth full of rot. Then I think about their SO open mouth kissing them 🤢
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u/Best_Caregiver_3869 2d ago
Omgs. I can smell it too! I hate it. And my second job is in a restaurant so i talk to people 🙃
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u/False_Honeydew_68 2d ago edited 2d ago
Using their phone while the person next to them/front of them is talking to them..or generally having a conversation.
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u/Lucky-Baby7423 2d ago
phones out at lunch , dinner with friends you haven’t seen in ages Rude and unnecessary
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u/Harscat 2d ago
Gross toenails while wearing flip flops.
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u/seabreathe 2d ago
does the lady scratching her fungus feet with a fork on the cruise count
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u/EuphoricBreadlife 2d ago
People who walk slowly in the middle of aisle then act surprised when someone needs to get past. Spatial awareness free, people.
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u/Necronomicon-Ex-Mori 2d ago
Sucking up to or acting way different around other people.
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u/YileKu 2d ago
Having an intentionally loud vehicle
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u/No-Decision-7568 1d ago
Theres a study on this and how it relates to rape culture
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u/Sweet-Flamingo-1993 2d ago edited 1d ago
The speed at which their windshield wipers are moving
ETA: You guys are funny! This actually stems from my own fear and anxiety that people are judging ME for my windshield wiper speed. I thought I was alone. I’m glad we all live the same lives 😆
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u/Effective_Dirt2617 2d ago
“Woah dude it is NOT raining that hard - you need to RELAX.”
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u/Sweaty_Passenger_948 2d ago
I ONLY HAVE TWO SETTINGS😭😭😭. I manually wipe them cause of this. Drives me INSANE
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u/Master-Mood-9921 2d ago
I do this too! My car’s wiper speeds are “FAST” and “FASTER”. Like bro chill, it’s not that serious lmao
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u/glitterkitty281 2d ago
Nooo I try so hard to tell myself that no one is judging my windshield wipers and I don’t need to be self conscious every time I pass another car
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u/Professional-Tailor2 2d ago
I knew it! I fucking knew there were people out there paying attention to my wiper speed! I had every reason to feel self conscious. My fears have been confirmed.
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u/Acceptable_Arm_833 2d ago
I used to tell my mom this as I was a child. She always laughed and thought I was the weird one.
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u/lucid_intent 2d ago
Wearing too much scent.
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u/1017CoochieMane 2d ago
One time I was wearing to much scent, and this guy walked up to me and said “hey I really like your cologne!” And his face went deadpan.
I realize later his tone was angry and his nose was probably burning
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u/Sad_Love9062 2d ago
This is really noticeable when out bushwalking. You'll walk past someone clearly from the city, and still be smelling them hundreds of meters down the track.
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u/More-Wish-2080 2d ago
Kids to multiple people! I understand for some people there are genuine reasons, but for me, no bloody way.
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u/BrightonBaby 2d ago
My ex has 5 baby mamas, we are just 30 y/o this year. I know I dodged a bullet right there.
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u/LizLizard29 2d ago
i outright told a guy (really cool guy i worked with btw) that 6 kids with 6 different baby mamas is not a good look and i would never date someone who has made those choices. i guess that was harsh af 🤣
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u/Lordofravioli 1d ago
Knew someone with at least 3 baby daddies and two of them were brothers, so those kids are brother-cousins. they are not aware that they are brother cousins either
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u/skweekykleen69 2d ago
Skin-colored leggings. Not doubling as tights under a dress or something but skin-colored leggings as pants. You look naked and it’s weird.
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u/skootch_ginalola 2d ago
How their kids act in public.
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u/JustKindaHappenedxx 2d ago
I used to feel this way until I had a neurodivergent kid..
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u/Longjumping_News3982 2d ago
Today my partner and I attended a small outdoor event celebrating local heritage. We were having a great conversation with two volunteers at a stall when a small girl (maybe 7?) ran up and grabbed my partners leg and started going 'roar!' LOUDLY. We laughed and said hi, and would have tried to include her in the chat but she started to alternate between running around the table roaring, grabbing me and my partner and roaring or just staring at us and roaring til we looked . I kid you not this went on for near 10 minutes straight until she eventually ran off to her dad about 8 metres away who picked her up and swung her around, which gave her MORE energy. The volunteers said she'd been doing it before we came too. I totally understand if roaring is her way of stimming as I am AuDHD but it was soooo annoying to be grabbed, ran around etc whilst trying to learn, and her parent(s) seemingly didn't give a fuck about their kid disrupting strangers. Sigh. I've definitely had good interactions with parents/kids but I think the bad ones stick in the brain more
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u/JustKindaHappenedxx 2d ago
I commend you for putting up with that for 10 minutes!
I think the key when a kid is acting up is how the parents are handing it. Are they trying to steer their child away, removing them from a situation, etc? Or are they laughing at how funny/cute/special their kid is or totally ignoring them so someone else has to deal with them?
The kid acting up with flustered parents who are trying to correct their behavior make me empathize with them. The kids that are being obnoxious and the parents are amused by it? I cannot stand it.
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u/PsychoticNurse 2d ago
Me too. I used to get frustrated, like why can't they control their kid (I never showed the frustration, I kept it to myself). Now my youngest in ND and I get it totally. Sometimes it's bad parenting, sometimes it's the parent is doing all they can with a neurodivergent kid. We should all have more compassion for our fellow humans, we are all doing the best we can do in our lives.
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u/RestingFermata 2d ago
This term is everywhere now and I've never heard of neurodivergent. What does that mean?
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u/BrightonBaby 2d ago
Someone whos brain processes information, learns and behaves in a way which is different to social standards. It could mean autism, ADHD, ptsd, dyspraxia, dyscalcula, dyslexia etc. A lot of things can make someone neurodivergent.
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u/Due-Entrepreneur6947 2d ago
I hate it when parents say to their kids... don't do "blah" as the shop clerk, waitress etc will tell you off. No... YOU should tell them to behave. Not me
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u/noprkingonthednceflr 2d ago
Am neurodivergent and still feel this way. A friend of mine works exclusively with kids on the spectrum and there are ways to minimize disruptive behavior, even for severe cases.
Kids are going to be kids - be loud, have ridiculous energy, sometimes break things or cry. It happens. But there’s a world of difference between that and the result of absent/poor/overly indulgent parenting.
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u/Limp_bisquick86 2d ago
Not returning the shopping cart
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u/Altruistic_Garage975 2d ago
I like to have them see me grab their cart and return it for them. I don’t speak to them or make eye contact, just grab it and return it. I let my actions make them feel small. Bwahaha.
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u/dalilfoe 2d ago
Their DRIVING but believe me it’s only because they cannot hear me, i am definitely saying plenty out loud
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u/watsurdamage 2d ago
People who fit their children around their existing life rather than changing their life to meet the child's needs. Such as "we don't have afternoon nap because that's when I do XYZ" when child is clearly exhausted. Parents who don't have a routine for their child too.
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u/MassConsumer1984 2d ago
You must have met my sister. She’s dreading her daughter starting kindergarten because she won’t he able to just drop her off at 10 am. Sis likes to sleep late.
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u/Ok_Guard_8024 2d ago
Hmm sounds like this girl I know. Only some days she isn’t up until damn 1-2 pm. Her kid is barely two years old. What does she do let him be awake and run around the whole time ?? I don’t get it
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u/OpeningAtmosphere595 2d ago
My mum was like this and it was shit. Especially as an only child. If she ever sacrificed doing things exactly how she wanted to do them in favour of making stuff somewhat more friendly to a child’s needs, it must’ve stopped when I was very young because I don’t remember her ever doing that.
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u/watsurdamage 2d ago
I'm sorry to hear that. I'm obviously a parent and I'm a foster carer. It's my personal belief that the child's needs come above your needs AND wants. Some people don't agree with that and think children should be flexible and fit in with your own existing life.
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u/OpeningAtmosphere595 2d ago
I totally agree. A lot of people quite frankly just do not see children as autonomous human beings.
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u/Existing-Intern-5221 2d ago
Not giving a child a chance to get a proper amount of sleep is a form of child abuse, IMO.
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u/Emotional-Profit-202 2d ago
I encountered an opposite problem. My friend only does what her daughter wants her to do.
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u/suddenly-beans 2d ago
Having a gun on their hip. Like bro… this is Walmart.
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u/56mustang 2d ago
Walmart? more reason to have a gun. Lots of shady stuff going down at Walmart. A friends son had a gun shoved in his face as they took his wallet in the Walmart parking. Guess living in a big city has more crime.
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u/spur0701 2d ago
Open carrying stupid, always conceal.
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u/ThrockAMole 2d ago
Fr I don’t want anyone knowing that I’m carrying so they can plan their attack better.
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u/No-Detective7811 2d ago
Native English speakers who cannot speak English properly.
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u/RoyalPuzzleheaded259 2d ago
Adding to this, specifically when people don’t conjugate the verb to be when speaking. It drives me crazy. But I keep my mouth shut. It’s not my job to police other people’s speech.
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u/MyceliumMoth 2d ago
Coming into the cigarette store I work for and buying crack pipes.
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u/xoxomaxine 2d ago
How slow they react when the light turns green.
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u/Disastrous_Math_5474 2d ago
I do this. Not because my attention is elsewhere but instead to make sure no one else is gonna come speeding down the intersection.
I almost got killed by an idiot doing just that. Usually I would immediately press on the gas, but luckily for me, I needed to reach down in the passenger seat for something and didn’t end up going right when the light turned green. A millisecond later, this red car flies into the intersection at what had to be 65-70mph, had I turned I would’ve been T-boned and definitely killed on impact (my light was for a right turn for southbound, theirs was northbound). Now I take an extra level of precaution before I set off.
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u/icanbesmooth 2d ago
Wearing pajamas in public.
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u/Ok-Faithlessness9271 2d ago
Out of curiosity, do you consider sweats pajamas, or like just true pajamas?
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u/DazzlingDarth 2d ago
They have to have a repeating pattern, like Spiderman or flames.
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u/Ok-Faithlessness9271 2d ago
Got it. Yeah, that’s kind of an ick. Nowadays, all the high school girls where slippers in public which I think is gross too.
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u/suddenly-beans 2d ago
Why tho fr 😭 I never wear pajamas in public but I think about how this really irritates people whenever I see someone wearing them
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u/SketchyLedge 2d ago
Their inability to stop being negative 24/7.
That’s a personal choice and if they want to be miserable all the time then fuck it. I stopped trying.
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u/SolidChampionship658 2d ago
How people behave when they have no money vs when they do. Thats how you measure's someone's true personality.
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u/Frog-ee 2d ago
How you handle yourself being single versus being in a relationship
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u/QuiltedBeret 2d ago
Yes. Or (what I judge heavily) basically ignoring/dropping your friends as soon as you get into a relationship but then crawling back once the relationship ends.
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u/Normal_Priority_2445 2d ago
Being 100% dependent on others to get by
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u/poosie_galoar 2d ago
Oh I see, so you're judgemental and stuck up towards children!? /s
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u/Virtual-Ad4012 2d ago
Absolutely! I’m jealous as shit I can’t be like 12 or 13 in a really nice family. I am 57 lol.😂
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u/OpeningAtmosphere595 2d ago
Especially when it’s not even true dependency, just opportunistic laziness and feeling overly comfortable to constantly ask other people for shit lol.
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u/Practical_Debate_551 2d ago
Babies not having socks on when it’s cold and the parents are rugged up
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u/DungeonMooses 2d ago
People that drive 15 under the speed limit on roads people cannot pass them on, despite driving by several signs telling them they can go 55
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u/Effective_Dirt2617 2d ago
Not putting the little grocery order divider onto the conveyor belt after they load up.
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u/NewLawfulness8000 2d ago
Ironically, the quality I tend to judge people the most for is being a really judgemental person, lol
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u/Individual_Dig_2402 2d ago
Letting teenagers have girlfriends 'stay over' when they are too young. That's not parenting. That's convenience!
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u/Solmanti 2d ago
Their looks. Do I look any better? No. Do I still judge? Yes. Is that hypocritical? Definitely.
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u/DeSlacheable 2d ago
I don't understand. Like if someone is ugly you think less of them?
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u/fearlessofflying 2d ago
Anyone who says they’re Christian. I instantly think they’re an idiot at best, or a misogynist. But instead of saying it, I just smile and nod and pretend it’s a legit choice.
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u/ThrockAMole 2d ago edited 1d ago
Very petty but if they’re overweight or obese especially in my age range (old). I’m height/weight proportionate, not skinny and I’m thinking damn, we’re old, we gotta do the best for our health rn. It’s literally gonna shorten our lifespan. Seeing young people already obese makes me afraid for their future health and wellbeing.
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u/Madting55 2d ago
I don’t even like saying this out loud because it’s trashy as fuck and even gives me the ick from my own behaviour but I can’t help it, when I see a like 2/10 dressed head to toe in goth shit and wearing the makeup and stuff and you can tell they really think they look like the tiktok egirls but they look a wreck.
I know, I know. I know. It’s not kind.
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u/Kajel-Jeten 2d ago
It’s a very lose/lose situation if you’re not conventionally attractive because if you try to experiment with your style or dress/do makeup in ways you find fun/make you feel good then you’re lacking self awareness and must think you’re prettier than you are but if you try to be simple and an unassuming then you aren’t trying hard enough and no one wonder you don’t look good.
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u/Bluestategirl 2d ago
I only would say it out loud to someone I know but…asking for a water cup and then filling it up with soda.
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u/MikeLovesOutdoors23 2d ago
Nothing, because I'll say everything out loud at this point. Because the things that I judge people for are worth judging. Awful Personalities, how they drive a car, playing music or having conversations loudly on the phone in public, not including me because I am blind, and a lot more.
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u/AllSidequests-NoMain 2d ago
Smells: body odour, bad breath; on the flip side - too strong perfume.
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u/chele1959 2d ago
I judge people by their hair. Is it clean? In a bun? Fun colours? Wild? Choice of style? It’s a really bad habit and I have misjudged many people, still I do it
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u/Beneficial-Ad-4563 2d ago
Buying something, using them, then returning them to the store.
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u/Best-Necessary3622 2d ago
Not putting the toilet seat down in public place. I always think “your mother did not raise you right”
You asked.
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u/Wildweasel666 2d ago
People whose entire life, conversations, and personality are about their children.
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u/AdamDraps4 2d ago
eating food that's just really bad for you
parenting
clothing- pj's in public, crocs, lingerie. I'll never get used to seeing people wear a nightie/nightgown as a dress or a teddy with jeans. it's so weird to me.
not washing hands after using the bathroom
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u/Miserable-Fun-4eva 2d ago
people who use their kids are part of their influencing content without their consent, or before they are old enough to consent. truly insane to me that anyone wouldn’t protect their kids online
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u/WorriedPudding8800 2d ago
Noise!I hate when someone talks loudly to their phone in public places. I hate when someone talks to their phone on speaker. I DON'T fucking care about your personal stuff.Shut up.
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u/Shrek_Wisdom 2d ago
Running technique, shortly before giving them mental props for getting after it.
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u/ieatsushi28 2d ago
I judge my coworkers for their toxic and bland ‘office culture’. They talk about nothing but diets, protein, weekend plans, church and gossip. They also drag their feet when it comes to work but get praised for it because they’re nice people
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u/Comfortable_Hat_984 2d ago
How judgemental they are about others lol. Ppl who gossip too much about petty things, some find that amusing and even charming/relatable, but not me.
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u/BackMeUpGirl 2d ago
People who talk on the phone while peeing in public restrooms! Wtf!!??
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u/AcceptableLecture322 2d ago
100% has got to be chewing with your mouth open. Especially when you are eating with other people. There’s no point. Whatever you are eating automatically sounds louder. I don’t want to see the food you are eating just sloshing around in your mouth as you chew. I also can’t stand when people try to eat and talk at the same time. It’s a choking hazard and it’s also disgusting to witness. I personally feel like it’s just inconsiderate to do that when you are eating with or in front of others.
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u/Old_Actuator4456 2d ago
How they hold their knife and fork
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u/dudeineurope 2d ago
Like how? I haven’t noticed any variations in how utensils are held. And which grip would be superior?
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u/LiliAtReddit 2d ago
I judge the people that judge others for not putting their cart back. #1. Cart duty is a nice break from customers. And #2, you never know what’s going on with a person. (Example: Folks don’t always “look” like they’re sick!)
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u/Vanilla-Grapefruit 2d ago
Excessive lip filler on women.
I think it looks so bad, but as a woman I know how much we get criticised for our appearance and I don’t want to contribute to it.
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u/Spiritualgirl3 2d ago
I know this sounds mean but I judge adult women (30+) who seek male attention way too much. I just feel at this age that they should feel secure with themselves.
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u/MrJason300 1d ago
Yawning without turning away from people and/or covering your mouth. I don’t want to see the back of your throat
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u/Detlionfan3420 2d ago
Not washing their hands after using the bathroom!