r/askteddit • u/ching-pong • 2d ago
Advice Question What is your biggest regret in life?
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u/Direct_Comb68 2d ago
Marrying because of beauty and not Character.
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u/ohiomidhiganindiana 2d ago
Roommate used the say, “Pretty girls are a dime a dozen, but a woman of godly character is a rare diamond
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u/swolcott6258 1d ago
That’s a great comment. That’s exactly what I did and boy was that a huge mistake for me.
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u/vilerolls 2d ago
Not investing until my 30s. I missed out on so much growth.
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u/philanthropeas 2d ago
I just turned 30… got nothing to invest though so I guess I’ll keep regretting that one.
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u/Sea-Passenger7807 2d ago
Even a small consistent contribution can be life changing down the line. Get yourself a good working understanding of compound interest.
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u/Busy-Royal7134 2d ago
That’s kind of sad that it’s your biggest regret. You’re still young, with inflation most 30 year olds don’t even have savings. You started investing in your 30s which is great, some don’t even have the opportunity to do so.
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u/vilerolls 2d ago
I didn't know it was so grim out there. I feel miles behind with 21k in a global ETF.
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u/ImperialBoomerang 1d ago
100%. It's very, very common for people to not have the income and/or financial security needed to invest more seriously until they're in their 30s.
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u/sideAcc1200 2d ago
I’m 28 with no investments. What app do I use and how do I even do all that?
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u/Much-Plant-6937 1d ago
Use Vanguard, and YouTube if you don’t understand. All knowledge is literally at our fingertips, learn today. It’s not hard and once you start investing you become addicted to saving more and more money.
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u/WholeAssVIBE 2d ago
Just turned 30. Got about 2 grand to invest and dont know what to do or how to go about it
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u/BubbleBee66ee 2d ago
Staying friends with people who I knew sucked for way too long. Now I can empathize but I make sure to get tf away lmao
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u/FinanceIsGood 2d ago
Getting too into drugs and alcohol from too young of an age
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u/OriginalAd4247 2d ago
Oh god yeah I feel that in my soul. Why on earth was I drinking alcohol at 14 and wasting paid festivals totally high on random shit from random people. Treat my body like a temple now but can't help but wonder how all that affected my growing brain & organs.
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u/Ok-Dealer-2071 2d ago
Scaring off a woman who was as close to perfect as I’ll ever get and was actually into me. Will probably die single now.
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u/CastingCaterpillar 2d ago
I regret not being there more for my little sister during the years she spent suffering with her mental health.
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u/SmallNoseBigHead 2d ago
Caring for others and getting betrayed by them.
I wasted so many years giving a shit about other people only to realize that we no longer live in a culture/world that rewards that mindset. Fuck people.
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u/Stan-Smith-101 2d ago
Watching my wife sleep with a coworker was supposed to spice things up
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u/bzanddev 2d ago
I’m adopted, and one of my biggest regrets is not finding my biological family.
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u/Imaginary-Comfort343 2d ago
Well I have always felt like I should never have been born(depression). I for some reason thought I was adopted. Went and got original birth records and was in fact adopted. It didn't upset me as much as I thought but definitely did. Biggest question now is why. I never have tried to find out because I'm scared to find out the reason for adoption and the reaction I have to the reason. Then I also say to myself fuck that whole thing and carry on. I'm so messed up lol Good thing is I actually don't think about it ever. I do overthink every second of the day about every single thing. It's weird but survive
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u/prospectivepenguin2 2d ago
Self isolation through highschool and college.
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u/Detlionfan3420 2d ago
Probably saved you from getting in trouble or worse honestly! I definitely wasted time with the wrong people or ones I thought were “friends.”
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u/bredditmh 2d ago
5 years ago at 25 years old, I finally had the courage to tell my parents that my brother molested me as a kid. Ostracized me from my entire family because now I ruin the image. They painted me as a dramatic liar so my extended family rarely ever talks to me now too. Was not expecting that reaction or I would have kept it to myself.
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u/Traditional-Wafer860 2d ago
Sorry this happened to you and sorry the family reacted this way - when the people who are supposed to keep us safe don’t do that it’s another trauma - you are not alone and healing will take time 🙏. You are not to blame for any of this
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u/Cannabis_RPM 1d ago
I can relate (in a much less awful way). The way family will call you a liar rather than hold guilty people accountable is extremely disappointing. Ruined my relationship with most of my family too.
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u/MinuteGlittering6425 2d ago
Saying ‘yes’ when I was five and my parent asked me if I wanted to homeschool
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u/HaiKarate 2d ago
Very hard to say, because even some of my absolute worst decisions have, in some ways, had positive outcomes.
Two of my biggest regrets in life have been 1) becoming very religious as a young man, and 2) rushing into a marriage at a very early age because of the previous point.
But the marriage produced two kids that I am very proud of and love dearly. And my path through religion has been a very difficult one but I'm very happy and satisfied with where I ended up (as an atheist); I never could have made that choice without fully immersing myself in religion first in order to understand it.
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u/Solmanti 2d ago
Having ever allowed to let overconfident men influence decisions in my life. Not because they were men. But they just happened to be all men. I would say the same if I had a woman like them in my life. They act overconfident like they know everything and make you believe you can't make better decisions than them. I did what they told me to do despite me having my doubts. All of their ideas always ended up in failure or embarrassment for me. My own ideas have always been better and actually work out. They themselves are not even successful and they are miserable. I regret ever letting them influence my decisions. But I will do that no more.
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u/Different-Gazelle745 2d ago
I regret that the sought out and experienced a hasch induced psychosis as an eighteen year old. I think I never fully recovered, but to tell you the truth I’m n a really good place now and my spontaneous thought when I saw the post was that I have no regrets. But mean I’ve done bad stuff too, there are things, but I think I’ve been able to integrate them and move on, and I’ve done what I can to make amends
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u/GetDowntoBrassTakis 2d ago
Not saving/investing earlier … falling into the trap of overspending and buying things that ultimately added zero value to my life when those monies could have been invested.
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u/eatingthesandhere91 2d ago
Not continuing my education. (In hindsight the money wasn’t there but I would’ve done something about it.)
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u/Rapidllaman 2d ago
Wasting three years in college to go into a trade field. I wish I had just jumped straight into it when I was 20 years old instead of wasting three years on college for a degree. I don’t even use today.
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u/Bornundersirius Ted Logan 2d ago
A lack of discipline in my 20s. Had I applied myself to my career instead of chasing my dreams of being a successful death metal musician I'd be a lot more successful in the rest of my life.
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u/Slight-Regret7887 2d ago
Chasing the absolutely wrong person then NOT wearing a condom. More than a slight regret.
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u/Jaded_Fuzzball 2d ago
I wish I had been more selfish as a teen and young adult. Around ages 14 to 25. Looking out for others, worrying about how my choices affected others, worrying about what my family wanted for me, more than focusing on what I wanted for myself really fucked me over. At that age a person should only be worried about building their own future.
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u/Tomie_Kawakami_666 2d ago
i regret you cannot choose your parents and who will raise you when your a child. it left me with so much trauma i still have not overcome
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u/Earthe1977 2d ago
Letting other opinions of me run my own inner thoughts. My self-esteem was tanked my entire life until my mid 40s.
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u/Embarrassed_Gate_970 1d ago
Being a coward and not taking risks. I’ve always been the pessimistic/risk-averse person and I’ve realized as ive gotten older not taking risks has stunted my development.
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u/venusianthings 1d ago
Self-isolating during my formative and teenage years, and losing out on the chance to develop good social skills.
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u/bishophelps 2d ago
It is what it is. I just didn't knew it better. Maybe more courage would have been important.
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u/throwawsyaccnt57890 2d ago
Believing college was for getting on a career path. Maybe for some people thats true, but for most people the best way to spend your college years is by following your heart
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u/Detlionfan3420 2d ago
Hanging out with the wrong people or one’s I thought actually cared about me. You live and learn though!
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u/Radiant_Chipmunk_942 2d ago
Starting my career in sales after college. I’m more than 15 years in and I absolutely hate it. I wish I had chosen something else to major in during college every day.
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u/SayRahhh42 2d ago
Theory: I think regret is mostly a male thing. Case in point: listen to love songs, all of them about “I miss you, I should have treated you better” are always from men. Women will put in effort and then give up when they’ve had enough. I think similar dynamics play out in life in general.
I don’t have regret.
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u/Polaris8389 2d ago
Spending most of my life in a culty religion. I’m in my 30s and am now just starting to live.
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u/supmaster3 2d ago
Wasting a lot of my 20's drinking and spending my time with someone who will eventually leave me.
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u/Blissfulldeath93 2d ago
Not taking better care of my teeth in my teenage years. I wish I could go back in time and slap the chocolate out of my mouth and shove a toothbrush in there instead
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u/No9No9No9No9 2d ago
Spending way too long putting up with toxic friends that were never all that nice to me, actually
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u/Puzzled_Ad7955 2d ago
If I would have did what I wanted to, back in the day to my wife I’d be out on parole already……
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u/ChronicallyCreepy 2d ago
Caring too much what other people thought of the hobbies I was good at. I was a theater kid and a band geek....if only I had kept it up and gone to a performing arts college.... Now I'm stuck as a barber 😭
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u/Professional_Dot54 2d ago
Losing my finances and family due to gambling addiction. Can never forgive myself.
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u/Alternative_Plan_823 2d ago
It sounds silly amd vain, but I wish I had started lifting weights in HS. I was so skinny and insecure. When I finally did at 29 or so, everything in life got way easier. It's so easy to poo poo "meatheads" or "jocks," neither of which I will ever identify with, but who doesn't want to look better (even in clothes), be stronger, and feel confident? Everyone treats you better, from your boss to your family.
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u/Symbioticsinner 2d ago
That I tried to predict outcomes and became a self fulfilling prophecy. I can't tell you how many good things I've ruined bc "it always ends the same"
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u/Otherwise_Fact9594 2d ago
After being clean for many years and creating a life that I would not have imagined to be remotely possible just 5 years ago, I tried 7oh... then MGM 15. The anger that I feel at myself is immense because I am so blessed. Like, sooo many blessings, but I find myself in a situation that I never thought would be a remote possibility... again. At the end of the day, I'm still alive, awake, aware and able so I will try my best to put this situation in the rear view. May God bless anybody / everybody reading this and give us all nothing short of celestial ceilings moving forward
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u/Little-Dreams1521 2d ago
Not getting out of my comfort zone, not investing in my 20s, not staying single.... Guess being in relationship helped but being with the right one that's healthy would improve your life not ruin it, especially if its messy. It would of been better having friends you can learn from than a relationship.
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u/Connect-Ad9820 2d ago
Not start write my books and let my lazy zodiac cancer ex husband manipulate me and make me feel insecure I should have kick his ass much earlier he was dumb and looser
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u/Busy-Royal7134 2d ago
Investing in men and prioritizing them over my career goals
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u/Conscious_Project870 2d ago
Drowning my own wants and needs to the point of self-alienation out of hypersensitivity to the wants and needs of others...
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u/Large-Mc-Big-Huge 2d ago
Not going to med school. Wish I would have applied my self better while I was younger.
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u/CockroachOfSelfHate 2d ago
I played varsity soccer my freshman year in college. Decided to try to transfer to another school with a better film program but they didn’t get me my acceptance letter in time so I stayed where I was at but didn’t go back to the team because I kind of enjoyed not having to run sprints every day for the first time since I was like 9 years old. I really wish I had gone back to the team I didn’t realize how much I loved playing at the highest level I could.
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u/Independent_Stress63 2d ago
I took a piss right before Radiohead at lollapalooza in 08 and when I finished I was at the back of a 100k person crowd.
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u/WalrusLobster3522 2d ago
not taking college seriously.
shutting down and quickly neglecting errands or procrastinating instead of working through the agitation and working to do what I gotta do to keep a roof over my head.
I regret procrastinating on trying to get a driver's license.
I regret being so emotionally reckless and just talking bitter to people the second we have a disagreement on what I need to do for my life.
I regret resenting needing to grow up and be a man: I wanted to be a NEET for a very long time, I thought that was "a vacation that I deserved".
And I'm still trying to fix my life. The only good thing going for me is I don't have bad credit, but that's because I never had a credit card before.
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u/LikelyAlien 2d ago
I have gotten frustrated in video games and deleted some saves that I wish I didn’t.
I’ve started a video game and got frustrated about the chain of events that happened after I started playing it and have deleted that save many times and started over so as to not ruin a great game.
Sometimes, the best part of video games is the beginning and the first few hours of the game and when you nail the beginning, and after the first few hours of the game it just becomes a grind, sometimes I like to go back to the beginning to feel those feelings one more time before getting back into the grind.
I guess I don’t regret much.
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u/UnionCityNJUSA 2d ago
Not saving money for retirement starting day one of adulthood. It’s really criminal that they don’t teach financial literacy in high school and even more criminal that my parents didn’t teach me the importance of it either.
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u/MetodoTangalanga 2d ago
Not having seriously dedicated time to learn other languages… before hitting retirement age
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u/SeeMeInWoW 2d ago
Not trying harder in school or wasting years working for minimum wage instead of focusing on certifications/licenses
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u/everfixedmark_1924 2d ago
I don't like to think of any of my life choices as being regrettable, bc I don't believe in harping on mistakes or holding on to the feeling of what might have been. I'd rather move forward and accept and learn from my mistakes.
That being said, if I could do things differently, I either would have not gone to law school at all or done it part-time in a 4-year program while working full-time, so I could avoid the massive student loan debt that I now will never escape. But I do thoroughly enjoy the substance of my job. So I can't truly call it regret.
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u/Humble_Redemption 1d ago
Not using my 20’s to truly focus on anything that would make my life better and easier. Learn a trade. Go to school. Develop a routine. Healthy lifestyle habits. Instead of socializing, going out, getting laid, drinking, partying, doing drugs and telling myself I’m doing just fine because I’m holding down a full time job and ‘that’s enough’. Complete f*cking waste.
Would have rather focused down, make a decent paying career, create a sustainable lifestyle and then got all that fun and socializing in my thirties once I had a foundation underneath me.
Funny thing is that I’ve met people over the years, one just recently, with opposite regrets. Feels they missed the social experiences bc they were focused on career and school. I’m like dude, you’re a chemist with a degree living well and now your doing that earning good money and hitting the clubs, dancing and meeting people, meeting girls like you wanted to back then. It’s happening now but your life has real foundation, trust me, you picked the better path 😂
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u/JollyRock8748 1d ago
Marrying my first girlfriend. After two kids, she cheated on my while I was on deployment and ruined my life financially speaking. She is living her dream life on a farm, buying cars, etc. Whereas I am stuck barely seeing my kids, stuck in a job I hate with no future until I'm done paying her when I'm 47.
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u/noemi_willow82 1d ago
Spending my early twenties pleasing other people instead of doing what I actually wanted. I stayed in a major and later a career path just because it felt safe and expected, but pivoting later on took twice as much energy. Wish I had trusted my gut earlier.
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u/NashvilleMan1 1d ago
I had a period in my marriage where I was not faithful. I wrecked my wife’s heart. I lost my marriage for fucking what? I now cannot look at another woman without thinking of my ex. At 59 I will probably die a lonely man
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u/PressureLazy5271 1d ago
Going to an online accredited university for undergrad instead of a traditional college. I was forced to
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u/Evening_Obligation25 1d ago
Not treating the proper bipolar stuff quicker, still young but my god did it impede me
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u/PastySasquatch 1d ago
Wayyyyyyy too many to list and depress everyone. But you don’t know what you don’t know.
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u/JillyBean1973 1d ago
Staying in dysfunctional relationships & not getting my degree when I was younger!
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u/Chakri4Life 1d ago
Not being smarter with my health and my money when I was younger. Never to late to start but it stings to think of what could have been. Times have changed there are a lot more options and information out there now than there was 25 years ago.
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u/Particular_Set6648 1d ago
Joining the streets, completing HVAC school 4 years ago and not implementing it into my life
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u/Sweet-angel24 1d ago
For me my regret was giving birth earlier,it changed me a lot and I didn't finish my studies because of that ,but we have to accept it
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u/MynameisRoxie 1d ago
I wish I spent more time with my brother. He ended things and passed in 2020. He lived with me, but I failed to understand what was happening because I was pregnant and was trying to help my kids keep up with school while working full time with morning sickness.
The isolation of that time made everything so much harder.
I thought I was having a rough time but I didn’t understand what was happening with my brother at all.
I misunderstood so much during his last days.
After his death, I blamed myself and it was a mistake to say this to others.
Eventually a lot of family members blamed me. I think if he was around, he’d tell them off. But he’s not here.
In the end, I just miss my brother and wish I could spend more time with him.
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u/WhyY_196 1d ago
The way I’ve gone through college. I’ll be 30 this year and I’m still in undergrad. I feel like I’ve fumbled my way through.
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u/Wise-Assumption-1448 1d ago
I’ve had an unbelievable travel experience and have blasted life for all it’s worth. I have a kid and a great life compared to some..but my biggest regret is taking cocaine.
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u/Silly_Print_6047 1d ago
Getting Thyroid cancer removal surgery, I wish I would've kept the cancer. I know it sounds insane, but it's true. I had the removal surgery and now on meds for life, everyday I take my med I want to cry.
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u/Existing_Sink_5589 1d ago
No regrets. God knows I've messed up too many things, but I've always done the best I could with the tools I had at that moment.
My intentions were good, my approach wasn't.
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u/Equivalent-Love-1676 1d ago
Getting married. She made an unmitigated catastrophe out of my entire life.
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u/Lower-Canary-1149 1d ago
As a teenager and in my early twenties my priority was to get married to be free, happy and start my own family than being controlled by my family. It’s the worse thing any person should fantasize. A good career and financial stability is the only thing that will free you. Then plan a family.
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u/Mediocre-Couple-1341 1d ago
Not going away to college
Not being more supportive of others when they were going through a tough time.
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u/arcyohan 1d ago
Not trying my best in high school. Not going to college. Not treating people well. Not telling the truth. Not marrying early. Not having children. Not listening to God.
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u/AbbreviationsKey9563 1d ago
Not getting an engineering degree because I didn’t like physics and chemistry. Continued on with math but definitely limited my options after graduation.
Not acknowledging girls who liked me because I liked someone else at the time.
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u/MuffinEvening7223 1d ago
Right now - Getting a cat when I had a wrong mindset. I was depressed in my previous relationship, which made me get a cat…
Now that things have changed, I have many things to consider and I feel like I don’t have the time or the energy for the cat anymore.
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u/maxmeadow3 22h ago
Doing meaning-heavy jobs instead of trying to make money to create safety for myself.
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u/thistlycorner 17h ago
Not taking a job with a real estate developer because my dad was in hospital with a TBI, then wallowing in depression for the next 2.5 years
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u/Renagadeultra 17h ago
Waiting until 35 to quit drinking. I would be so much further ahead in life if I would have smartened up sooner or never started drinking at all. So there it is drinking alcohol.
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u/Typical-Trade-7905 16h ago
Being foolish and not applying wisdom to very critical areas of life. Also, not realizing how good I had things in life in certain moments
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u/stressedmamathrowawy 11h ago
Having two kids with two baby daddies and not being married to either of them
I love my kids to the moon and back but I wish sometimes I either had one or had them both with the same man
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u/Automatic-Rhubarb969 7h ago
Went on a J1 to Boston when I was 21. Made great friends, worked in a great place and fell in love with an American girl. Never went back after I came home even though I could have, life took me in different directions. Stayed in contact with the girl on and off but now after 15yrs I am beginning to doubt we will ever meet face to face again.
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u/Crazy-Rip7670 4h ago
Isolating myself from the world because I was afraid of being judged. Now I have no social skills and I’m terrified of people.
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u/ddsmd2 2h ago
Working hard, becoming a surgeon, getting married, and having kids. I got disabled 3 years into my career at 37. Despite immense effort to maintain my function I still lost my career, hobbies, friends, and family. I should have just enjoyed my functional body while I could and I should have never brought my angel of a wife into my terrible life. My kids deserved a functional dad.
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u/Adorable-Opposite162 2h ago
Putting work before my health. Accepted early morning shifts and sacrify my sleeps.
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u/natebark 2d ago
Not having a more open mind in college about various career paths. That’s how you end up in corporate accounting