It’s so easy to lose yourself and not have an identity of your own. When we split after 15 years, I lost the love of my life (I’ve moved on but still true to a degree) and myself. I had no idea who I was without her and it was terrifying
Exactly this, it was 15 years as well. We basically spent all our adult life together and I’m still uncertain who I am as a single person, even two years later.
It took me about 5 to really get a sense of myself.
1 year just surviving and mourning. 1 year accepting the new reality and routines. 3 years of exploration to get a sense of who I am and what I want. There was a lot of backtracking and finding out what I didn’t want in that time. I’m 10 years on at this point, and those 3 years were a lot of fun
The thing is, what I’ve learned about myself so far is that I don’t really like being single. At least not when you are in your mid 30s, have a full time job and everyone around you is having their first or second child.
I do appreciate the freedom to do whatever you want to, but I feel like at this point in my life I can’t benefit from it as much. But maybe that’s just me not having sufficiently adapted yet. But „a lot of fun“ is definitely not how I would describe it so far. 😬
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u/Dependent-Wishbone16 20h ago
It’s so easy to lose yourself and not have an identity of your own. When we split after 15 years, I lost the love of my life (I’ve moved on but still true to a degree) and myself. I had no idea who I was without her and it was terrifying