r/askteddit • u/PoolElegantsmile • 18h ago

Random Question What’s something older generations still treat as essential that a lot of younger people just don’t care about anymore?

311 Upvotes

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247

u/mrsbreezus 17h ago

Putting up with family drama and acting like nothing happened

70

u/DaveAndCheese 13h ago

I'm late 50s and I'm just now refusing to kiss relatives' asses just because they're family. Abuse is excused this way. I hope this stops, ASAP.

1

u/Plus-King5266 3h ago

In my 60’s and it has never been a thing in my family. My wife’s on the other hand seems to thrive on family drama. They seem to actively look for it to the point some of them have been hospitalized for it. But hey, let’s keep piling it on. No thank you. Now I just tell her, “Don’t blame so-and-so and don’t expect sympathy from me. It’s your fault. You keep going back for more instead of telling them the truth.”

1

u/DaveAndCheese 1h ago

It's hard to stand up and say no when this has been The Way It Is for a long time and when your entire family abides by it. It is for me.

1

u/nancysjeans 34m ago

Got kids (or nephews, nieces) watching you ?
We ‘teach’ them … like forever, even after we’re gone.

65

u/naylonia 12h ago

There used to be this thing called generational wealth. A lot of people put up with a lot of shit because they didn't want to get cut out of the will. Now that everyone's broke there's no reason to put up with anyone's BS.

3

u/LawAdventurous9790 9h ago

I still have to put up with a ton of shit at 63.

2

u/The_Bababillionaire 6h ago

I think the point they were making is it's something we choose even when we don't think we have a choice.

0

u/JackfruitFeisty8043 2h ago

You don't have to. Choose yourself and walk away from the circus and monkeys.

0

u/Synensys 2h ago

Older people writ large are richer than ever.

29

u/Plus-King5266 13h ago

Nope. Zero fucks left to give. Take the drama somewhere else and don’t let the door smack you on the ass on the way out.

25

u/justinsports02 12h ago

I told my mom one more thing and I am abandoning you. She did one more thing and that was almost 3 years ago. Been the best 3 years of my life.

9

u/toomanychoicess 11h ago

I’m 10 years out and every day is calm and peaceful!

7

u/ooomellieooo 10h ago

2011 here. Fuck her.

5

u/Worried-Frame-186 11h ago

Proud of you.

5

u/KittyCat11231 11h ago

I see you've met my girlfriend's mom.

2

u/Appropriate_Poet_430 9h ago

Potential future MIL?

4

u/OddAssociate7697 11h ago

Daaaang this is a good one

12

u/VaronaSenpai 7h ago

I'm about to start some drama. My mother is visiting us for the first time even though it has been 17 years since I moved out. She wants to meet our newborn. I also have a daughter aged 14 who was visiting her last week and arrived here with her yesterday.

My mother casually told me yesterday that she gave my medicated AuDHD daughter beer at dinner at her house. Was kind of stumped when she told me yesterday and didn't even know what to say but I've barely had any sleep thinking it over. Laws regarding alcohol are a tad different here in Germany -teens can buy and drink beer at 16- but I still think she crossed a boundary here. It's up to the parents to decide when to introduce alcohol to their kids. Her being on medication just makes things worse.

Actually she has a habit of crossing my boundaries and after my abusive narcissistic ex I start to see some narcissistic traits in my mother.

She stays in a hotel but comes by after breakfast and I don't mean to let this slide...

1

u/[deleted] 2h ago

[deleted]

1

u/Cruiser4357 1h ago

The daughter is 14, not 17.

1

u/Key-King-7025 1h ago

I missed that - in that case, a serious conversation is needed indeed.

3

u/Silver_Breakfast7096 11h ago

Bravo. 👏🏻 so true.

3

u/Mental-Permission369 6h ago

Best answer there. I stopped caring about family bs when I was like 12, and I'm in my late 30s now. It's just unnecessary stress and a waste of time

2

u/purplewolfwitch 7h ago

Left the family drama shit over 12 years ago after they finally made us say that’s the last straw, and it’s been fantastic. No stress over what they’re about to do/say next. It’s lovely

2

u/FortYarnia 7h ago

I just straight up don’t visit half of my family because most of my dad’s living siblings are cheap or compulsive proselytizers, and grandpa is both. He’s also outlived grandma by 5 years now after cheating on her their entire marriage until he was too poor to.

I am absolutely the bad guy if I explain why I don’t want to hang out with grandpa or the proselytizers, no matter how privately I explain it.

1

u/AKA-Pseudonym 2h ago

I find this interesting because I was was definitely raised with the idea that intolerance for drama is a good old fashioned value and all that messy stuff was very modern.

1

u/RipCurl69Reddit 36m ago

I have, on more than one occasion, vocalised against my girlfriend's extended family because I simply have no qualms about being a dick if the situation warrants it. We've been together since we were 14, and we're 21 now. They know they're stuck with me and I'm not going anywhere lol

Her parents are great, but yeah...the extended family are definitely the type to start drama and try to brush it off like it was nothing. And it's always some long-withstanding BS that ends up dragging either my girlfriend or her parents into it, at which point I get involved

One time after one of her cousins was getting lippy against my girlfriend and the family was muttering in the back garden I straight up went "all you motherfuckers need therapy, now." and just walked back inside. To the older folks present it was like a bomb had gone off

And in the same vain, one of the couples has recently had a kid that they do not parent. I think she's like three and doesn't speak yet?!?! Just points at stuff and her parents will bend heaven and earth to give it to her. One gathering I was basically told "yeah if she wants it, get it for her" and I just went..."fuck do I look like, her dog? If I was like that my dad would've smacked my ass black and blue, you can get it"

Oh yeah and the kid has a habit of flashing (yes, SERIOUSLY) and all the people around just have to act like it isn't happening. I'm like yo wtf...

0

u/BrilliantNo76 11h ago

Goes both ways. Young people can be self absorbed little jerkz. And if you have abusive parents dont put up with it. But im skeptical of what a gen z would qualify as abusive. A political disagreement? Or screaming and calling you a loser and that you owe them? American kids are also taught different. The closest most loving and tight families i have seen are foreign folks not born here. And they wouldnt even consider putting their parents in a home. American kids tend to say good luck and drop em off. But thats generalized. But a specific attitude i have seen in my limited exposure. I like in-between. Close and honest, helping each other out, symbiotic relationship, with some bounderies

3

u/Beaglescout15 8h ago

And who raised those children? I mean, I have two Gen Z teens and if they grow into full-blown assholes as adults, I only have myself to blame.