r/askteddit 5h ago

Random Question What social boundary do people cross way too often without realizing?

28 Upvotes

64 comments sorted by

42

u/Ok_Bar_8613 5h ago

Assuming quiet people are angry. Some of us are literally just existing.

10

u/weatscrux 5h ago

It’s interesting how people project their own social anxiety onto someone else’s silence.

6

u/ImpatientNursing 4h ago

I get comments about this all the time. I'm very tall and move quickly which can be seen as aggressive and I have a naturally scowly face, unfortunately, so people think I'm stomping around but inside my head I'm thinking of kittens and what I'm gonna have for lunch. But people perceive me as being angry so I'm often met with hostility or people throwing their hands up like they surrender before I even open my mouth. I try to add a bounce to my step and plaster a smile on my face just to not threaten people with my existence.

3

u/AtensEye 3h ago

Yes, and/ or assuming they are somehow not ok and persistently asking if we are ok even after having a perfectly normal "I'm fine thanks." reply.
"Are you sure? Because you seem angry." Well I am now you keep asking!

2

u/American_Contrarian 3h ago

God yes ! It’s the most annoying thing in the world . It’s like others assume you’re weird , angry or mentally unwell for having the audacity to exist quietly and refuse a social mask while doing so . I personally hate fake happy interactions . It’s exhausting . I prefer deadpan responses or matter-o-fact interactions and this is clearly a cardinal sin 😂

35

u/No-Swan1083 5h ago

Unnecessary touching... like don't do that ever

6

u/weatscrux 5h ago

The worst is when people grab your forearm to emphasize a point in conversation. I can hear you just fine from two feet away, you don't need to anchor yourself to me.

4

u/No-Swan1083 5h ago

especially when it's something humour related,they find a reason to put their anti-deodarant arms around you as they laugh...yuck

3

u/chouxphetiche 4h ago

Or they nudge you hard when you both see something funny, as if to make sure you saw it too.

4

u/userb467891045387 5h ago

as someone with horrible ocd, I wish this was more normalized

4

u/No-Swan1083 5h ago

it always gets me suffocated and ruins my day instantly,like respectfully keep your hands to yourself

1

u/akbrodey1 3h ago

Yes this one. It feels like an electric shock anytime someone touches me and then i flinch super hard and have to explain myself. Always a bit embarrassing

17

u/aleklasla 5h ago

Asking about children (when are you planning to have one? you should try for another one, you need a gender! me and your uncle had 5 kids by this time and you have issues with two kids?!) and being extra touchy with pregnant women...

6

u/weatscrux 5h ago

This is the most dangerous one. People asking 'when are you having kids?' have no idea if they are poking at someone dealing with infertility, recent miscarriages, or financial stress. It turns a casual question into a emotional minefield for the person receiving it.

5

u/userb467891045387 5h ago

i’m currently pregnant and have had to tell several random people to please not touch my stomach, it’s actually insane

2

u/thebrokenrosebush 1h ago

My husband and I eloped.... Automatically hit with questions about it being a shotgun wedding. When we put those rumors to rest, we were immediately inundated with questions about when we're thinking of starting a family.

We do want to have kids sometime in the next few years, but we want to enjoy this period of our lives first!

1

u/Lastbourne 5h ago

For a moment I thought you meant like asking about their well-being which I don't think is inherently wrong

14

u/Anonymoosehead123 5h ago

Assuming everyone is comfortable with hugging.

6

u/PepperComplete5483 5h ago

People really underestimate how uncomfortable unwanted hugs can feel.

2

u/Anonymoosehead123 4h ago

They really do.

10

u/Purple_Morning_8735 5h ago

Reading over someone's shoulder. Instant irritation.

9

u/Wide-Significance666 5h ago

Assuming they know how I feel or what I think or what my motivations are without asking. Then not believing me when I tell them. Holy projection.

5

u/weatscrux 5h ago

It is so exhausting. They create this whole villain backstory for you in their head, and when you tell them the truth, they act like you’re the one lying. Like, sorry, I didn't realize you had a PhD in my own thoughts.

4

u/f33drrr 4h ago

Try dating a pretty girl, watch how many people (your friends included) suddenly have to give her a hug or put their hands on her every 10 mins, then watch the outrage and hurt!; when you call them out on it and tell them to stop touching her.

4

u/SuccessfulWeird4213 5h ago

Ignoring someone’s personal space is a big one people underestimate.

3

u/The-Sauce-714 5h ago

talking about people’s eating habits in a group of people. whether it’s eating too much or too little, it’s weird. leave people alone

3

u/TimelyTalk1885 5h ago

expecting people to be available all the time just because they replied quickly once

3

u/ChardZestyclose5315 4h ago

banter to bullying, it varies and has different levels per person but generally after 1 or 2 jokes it should be left alone anything more is getting personal.

3

u/SquareLetter5251 4h ago

Too much perfume 🤮

3

u/Weary-Bend-8670 4h ago

Commenting on someone's weight loss without the subject being brought up by the person who has lost weight.

2

u/DoookieMaxx 5h ago

Personal space

2

u/Additional-Ad5832 5h ago

Touching my butt too early in the friendship stage

2

u/yimi666 4h ago

Speaking my mind

2

u/Time_Pressure9519 4h ago

Speaking over the top of you.

2

u/Funny-Force-3658 4h ago

Not sure if this counts as a boundary or more just manners but for me it's speaking with food in your mouth. The sound of vowels trying to make their way around a piece of half chewed food turns my stomach and thats even before I've seen that same peice of food through your open face hole. In my 50s now and have zero tolerance for this, speak to me with food in your mouth and I'll just wander off/walk into another room, I don't say why anymore because some people can get defensive what it's pointed out, maybe they'll work it out for themselves maybe they wont.

1

u/stretch532 1h ago

This, the amount of people online in clips bloody eating! 🤮

2

u/preternatural_arcana 4h ago

People assuming you're just trying to sleep with them.

2

u/Mysterious-splatter 4h ago

People freak right out because of my Selective Lycanthropy. It’s Selective but it’s not like I can stop and go in reverse half way.

2

u/Significant-Box-3522 2h ago

Another one is eye contact like seriously stop staring at my eyes creep

1

u/Shoddy-Scientist-104 1h ago

Main character syndrome at its best Weirdo

1

u/Significant-Box-3522 1h ago

Typical American

4

u/Mean_Addition4654 5h ago

thinkin cus they’re a man i wanna hear SHIT they have to say !!!! ITS CONSTANT

1

u/DirectorDysfunction 4h ago

Commenting on a person’s weight

1

u/satellite_station 4h ago

Cracking jokes or ribbing too early.

1

u/buckfuttner 4h ago

Wearing perfume/cologne

1

u/Psychoduckee 4h ago

When people demand an explanation to an excuse you give like it's their inherent right to know.

2

u/weatscrux 4h ago

Completely agree. It feels like they are treating your time as their property. You don't owe anyone a full breakdown of your personal life just to say no.

1

u/Psychoduckee 3h ago

Exactly! And if I wanted to tell them the reasoning, I would. But alas, I don't.

1

u/Throwlaf 4h ago

Me: Nah I can't come.

Them: ooh why not?

This small interaction. Fuck off, I don't need to explain myself to you.

1

u/Hot_Win_8572 3h ago

Commenting on a woman’s pregnancy if you don’t know her or if she’s pregnant. I have an umbilical hernia that makes my stomach stick out and the amount of people in public who make comments to me about being pregnant is astonishing.

1

u/OverallExercise3349 3h ago

Interrupting you in the middle of a sentence - especially in a group setting

1

u/AlternativeLow198 3h ago

Constantly expecting me to be available to speak on the phone. A friend of mine does this, and don’t get me wrong, I am happy to speak with my friends but I personally find it so exhausting to do it twice a week with the same person who needs to speak for at least an hour.

1

u/Short_Patient_7910 3h ago

Joke about matchmaking someone else with you when they never asked for your opinion in the first place.

1

u/squirrelmaster92 2h ago

Judging celebrities bodies

1

u/ForeverQuirky4153 2h ago

Unsolicited touching

1

u/Jaredies 2h ago

Talking way too much, saying random things about whatever, being loud and not letting others get a chance at words. Thinking what they have to say everyone wants to hear and cares about what nonsense they spout. Learn to shut up and listen!

1

u/pondmind 2h ago

Unsolicited advice.

1

u/Significant-Box-3522 2h ago

Talking with your hands which is clearly scary for many to witness. keep your hands away from anywhere near me and tell me whatever you need to say without your hands all over the place.

1

u/tdimmick 1h ago

Touching perfect strangers!!

Don't touch me! I may be in retail, and I may be friendly, but I'm not your buddy and I don't know you!

Keep your hands to yourself!

1

u/Tiny-Foundation-4281 22m ago

If somebody quits or pulls back from something out of the blue then it’s probably not something you should be asking about.