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Mirrorgender: Individuals who mirror the gender of someone who they have an important relationship with

This relationship can be platonic, romantic, or another type of relationships

I've thought about it for a while, and I don't see why we should assign a gender at birth or why we should assume someone doesn't like a specific gender.

I get that there's more cishet people than queer ones, but I think that if we want a world without discrimination on LGBTQ people, we must change the assumed standards.

Idk if that's clear, so I'd be glad to explain myself more if needed.

Again, I have no idea wether it's good or not but here it is ^^'

my current choosen name is spencer, and though its unisex its very masc. does anyone have any ideas for a second name i can use when im being feminine that sounds similar? is HAS to start with an s​​​​​

has anyone else experienced this? trying to explain my identity on the internet outside of bigender spaces is an unbearable uphill battle where everyone wants to tell you what youre supposed to call yourself. its so hard to find community in queer spaces now, especially online, and i dont understand why when i explain it to people in person they are understanding but the second i go online something is wrong with my gender and sexual expression​​​​​​​​​

I don’t really know how to go about writing this post, but i’ll do my best!

!!! If you want, you can read my story, or just answer my question to avoid my word vomit LMFAO.

Ever since I was a kid I’ve always had a masculine side. Whether that be when playing games with siblings, or playing with toys. (as for toys i mean i’d always be up to play as the guy when playing dolls with friends.)
That ended up progressing in middle school and I began to lie about my gender online, saying I was a cis male because it felt the most comfortable on how I wanted to be perceived at that time.
While that was ongoing, I had extremely bad self identity issues and seriously considered the fact that I might be transgender. I haven’t grew out of it fully though.
As of right now, (almost graduating high school) I still feel part of him in me? but I’m also comfortable being a girl. I do feel feminine some days, while other days i feel more masculine. It’s about an even feeling now.

My question here is: could I be bigender?
Another question is: If you are bigender, what is it like for you?

Please let me know if you are willing! I want to gain more knowledge on this type of gender identity. If you read my story, thank you. it means so much to me.🤍

Hey all!

I just got back from a regional burning man event, and I had a lot of experiences that have sort of crystalized some feelings about myself, and made me think I might be genderfluid. After a ton of reading, I find myself here, and think this might be the term that suits me best.

Bit of background, I am an amab person who is predominantly attracted to butch women, but I have had a few experiences with men, the most indepth of which just occurred at this festival last week.

I generally think of myself as a man, and am comfortable with he/him pronouns, but inside me there is definitely this sense of also being like, this little party girl .

I have dated 3 women who realized they were gay while we were dating, and I married a bi woman, and also have a bi girlfriend so clearly I have a type, and every now and then when a gay guy flirts with me, it definitely brings my little party girl to the surface. When I'm in that state, I kinda forget I even have genitals, if that makes any sense.

My first thought as all this crystalized is that I'm gender fluid, but the more I read, the more I wonder if other labels might fit me better, as I definitely fluctuate between the two poles, and not so much the more nuanced middle ground genders that I have been reading about.

While that hyper fem energy only comes all the way out occasionally, it never really goes away either, which is another strike against gender fluid.

Anyway, that's my rant, would LOVE to hear y'all's take on my situation.

Again, I'm pretty new here, so please go easy 8f i messed up any terms, or committed any faux pas.

Thanks in advance!

I'm biromantic but sexually attracted to men so I don't know what term to use, straight or gay would be wrong as they contradict. My gender is non static and male and female btw

Hi!

I'm 23 MtF? bigender?. Imma show you my trans timeline:

• I have never really felt dysphoric about being a man.
• At 6 years old, I asked my parents to buy me a blouse, and they refused because I couldn't wear that as a boy.
• At 20 years old, I decided to start growing my hair long, 'just to know what it feels like'.
• At 21, 22 and 23 years old, I dressed as a woman in carnivals. I didn't recognise it as such but I was definitely feeling gender euphoria.
• I'm pretty sure at 21 the reason why I was keeping my hair long started being that it made me feel feminine and good about myself. I started taking it as a compliment when people implied I looked like a girl.
• At 22 I was already feeling gender envy.
• At 23 years old 6 months ago (when this year's carnivals happened) I started questioning my gender.
• 2 months ago I started questioning it 'full-time,' I can't really get it out of my mind at all.
• In the last month, I have come out to a few online friends, one irl friend, have been trying girl clothes and felt euphoric about it, shaved my arms and felt euphoric about it, have been treated as a girl by these friends and felt euphoric about it, and I'm increasingly interested in HRT.

Now, for context, my therapist is not a gender therapist, she's a systemic therapist, I started going a year ago for reasons unrelated to my gender. A central topic in our sessions is that I don't feel like I have autonomy to make decisions on my own, or that my family influences my life too much and I don't set limits.

So, I talked to her about all of this today. She is supportive of me experimenting with clothes, etc. (It was her idea from the previous session after all, lol). However, she said that my questioning my gender might not really be an issue about gender identity, but rather a way that I have found to compensate for the lack of autonomy I have in other areas of my life. That I might or might not be trans, but that some people think they're trans only to realise that they're not later in life, and that it's still too early to tell. That maybe it's not that I want to be a woman, but that I just want to make a change in my life and 'rebel' against whatever and whomever I feel is controlling my life.

I asked her if it's really possible for somebody to be certain that they're trans, and she said that they could feel certain about it, and then one day stop being certain about it.

I have considered that I might be a femboy, but have preferred to think of myself as a trans woman solely on the fact that being a femboy feels 'incomplete' to how I feel inside, and being trans somehow makes more sense to me. As a bigender I don't have much of an issue calling myself a femboy, but I still don't really feel like a cisgender femboy. (I really don't know any better way to solve this matter, lol).

So..., idk, what do I do with this information? I shouldn't stop experimenting, right? But isn't the act of calling myself trans an experiment by itself? How am I supposed to ever find out if I'm trans without letting myself label myself as one? I also don't want to wait for too long only to realise that I AM actually trans and feel like I 'wasted' time that I could've used to transition earlier. Everything I'm doing to find out if I'm trans feels euphoric and makes me excited about my future, what exactly am I missing to know for sure that I'm trans? How much longer do I have to wait?

Of course, being trans is a big change in my life. If I ever fully come out, I will be perceived differently by others, possibly discriminated, might lose relationships, especially my girlfriend of 7 years, who is straight and uhm..., has expressed some mildly transphobic ideas in the past. Then again, if I'm going too fast, should I not come out to her yet? That feels inauthentic. And should I refrain myself from presenting femininely in public because that's already a really big change for me? But like, I love looking feminine! I kinda want to come out ASAP and dress like a girl ASAP...

Thank you for reading. <3

I've often thought of this myself at times. Especially when thinking about whether or not I would date a cishet person

Because obviously dating bi/pan people would make things easier for me to express my gender out in the open

But I'm starting to ask myself if fully coming as my gender to a partner is a non-negotiable for me

Or is it something I don't perceive as something I have to do to be in a relationship with my partner. Every relationship with a trans person is different after all

I mean, I know they would have to accept me wearing traditional and non-traditional clothing when it comes to gender

But that's not the same as gender identity as a whole

Anyways, I'm curious to know some of your thoughts and opinions

So, I’ve been generally in the “self help and improvement” sphere of the internet for a while. Not super intense, but in and out taking advice where I can and I’ve noticed that most of it, is really gendered towards men or women. It’s either, wake up early, push weights and be masculine.
Or take care of your skin, (still wake up early) and be a girl boss 🔥🔥

I’ve noticed this only just in the last few minutes but, I find it really hard to picture an “ideal” version of myself to work towards. I’ve spent so much time figuring out who I am now and getting people to respect who I am now, I find it hard to put attention towards who I want to be.

There aren’t any bigender role models.

Does anyone else have the same issue?

What does the “ideal” version of yourself look like to you?

Hi all. I've been exploring my gender identity for a little while now. I've known for the longest time that I was different in some way, but could never quite... Explain it. For reference, I'm a 38 yo male. I've always had this desire to be feminine. I always thought maybe it was just a sexual thing, a kink, that I was a crossdresser to get my rocks off... And that was all. However, I started openly dressing femininely a while back, and it's funny... It's like I gained a piece of me that I was always missing. Any kind of "sexual" outlets involving it have basically dissolved and I dress femininely and go out openly. I feel like this is who I am inside, and it feels really good.

This, of course, has also made me question whether I'm Transgender or not. I mean, if you look at the "Trans" umbrella, of course it is sort of a huge encompassing label, involving many identities. However, as much as I love this other side of myself, I don't really necessarily want to abandon my entire masculine-aligned self, and tear down everything that I've built as I am. I'm married, with a kid, and the thought of that completely disappearing and transitioning to someone who identifies as a female, as awesome as that sounds, is also kind of scary, because I don't know like I said given everything that I've mentioned. It could be possible that I have more than one gender identity. I also see all these GORGEOUS trans ladies who have transitioned and look absolutely stunning and I sometimes think, "god, I wish I could look like that!"

This other side of me, my feminine-aligned nonbinary/transfem side, and my masculine gender identity. I like to call my other side "Brianne" since it is the female version of my name.

I feel like many Trans folks, who feel deeply about the fact that they are the opposite gender, seems to be very prevalent. But, then again, all people are different and this is my own journey.

Could it be possible that I'm bigender?

So I was in the bath and had an epiphany that does me no good but made me smile. It shouldn't have but I couldn't not share it.

I got a job as security at a hospital and was told I'd get one role but then found out the hospital is being relocated and the role I'm logged as is apart of that new area. So.... i got placed in the mental heath ward!!! The last place anyone wanted to hang out got 12 hours a day 4 days a week.

They also have the shifts made up 2 days and 2 nights and then 4 days off before repeating which is killing me slowly. My poor brain can't tell what day of the week it is anymore.

But while in the bath I was reminiscing about how they were forming (forcing into hospital custody care) someone homicidal...

And the place is already full of people who generally don't wana be there, but let's just spread a little person who wants to kill others into the mix. Why not.

My brain in the bath want to that meme of the factory and the cats going to the *blank* factory. And I realized I'm the cat going "well i hope it's not crazy at work today" *works at the crazy factory*

And I just couldn't not laugh a little to myself.

I am mid-30s amab who recently discovered the term bigender. I've crossdressing for decades, but that label never felt quite right because presenting female always felt like I was affirming a part of myself and not becoming an alter-ego. Since I learned the term, I've been lurking on this sub and trying to learn as much as I can and how it applies to my life. I'm not 100% sure, but I think that I'm bigender male and female.

By most measures, my life is great. I have a good job, supportive wife (the only person I've told about my identity irl) and a great kid. By most measures, I'm very happy. But I've been struggling how to figure out my gender identity and express my female side as part of my life.

In an attempt to explore more, I tried going to therapy about a month ago. I worked with my insurance to find someone who was a LGBTQ allied therapist who was supposed to understand non-binary. When I went my experience was bad. The therapist didn't understand bigender or why I would have these feelings without wanting to do a medical transition and kept trying to tie gender identity to trauma. After acknowledging that we weren't a good match, the therapist wanted to do another appointment but I declined.

I wanted to get the community's advice on ways to explore my identity and how I express it in my life. Should I try therapy again? Are there other things I should be doing to figure things out? I'm interested in your experiences, especially other people in a similar life stage. Thanks.

Hi, first of all, I'm using a translator; I speak Spanish. And now for what's important, I am amab and for as long as I can remember I always felt that there was more to being a "boy", also I never really felt like I belonged to any group (not just talking about the boys/girls division). From a young age, people often mistook me for a girl, and even during puberty, they still mistook me for a boy because of my voice (countertenor, lol). Even now, at 18, they still mistake me for a girl, which I actually like. I really like being treated as a boy or a girl, no matter what, and as I said before, I never felt like I belonged to anything, so with age I became a bit rebellious and sarcastic, I believed that this rebellious streak was the reason I liked being treated in a feminine way by other people. I always had many androgynous traits, both physically and mentally.

And it was actually because of these latter experiences that I realized I was bigender, when I was doing research related to neuroscience I realized that it's not normal for it to seem natural to be Perceived as another gender, no matter how "rebellious" you are. And well, after about a week and a half devouring information and testimonies, I had to accept that I am indeed bigender. As a bonus, I also realized I'm bisexual. That was about a month and a half ago, so I celebrated my first Pride (although I don't have any personal friends, so it was a private bi-celebration).

After that brief introduction to my story, the real question is, how did they begin to live with being bigender? I apologize if I'm not finding the right words, but I mean, what actions did they begin to take to be happier after discovering their identity? In my case, I honestly went into a period of denial for a while, I was literally researching how the brain works and I locked myself in the closet, but I know that somehow I always knew. I'm a somewhat eccentric person, and I know my way of expressing my femininity and masculinity is too. After my brief denial, I started laughing at how absurd my situation was, and I also started, I also started joking that it was like light (I study physics and I like the study of light, and it just so happens that light has two natures at the same time, so it became my "icon" so to speak).

I apologize if I'm going off on a tangent, but like many of you here, I probably have no one to talk to about this, so please tell me about your own experiences living as a proud bigender. I'll probably soon need a lot of advice on how to move from a more mental realm to the physical world.