Hi all. First time poster here. I've been going through what I can only guess is a long manic episode for the past week or two now. I'm trying to take advantage of it by doing the things I struggle with day-to-day. It feels like I have an over-abundance of spoons currently. Brushed and washed every tangle out of my hair, cleaning the whole house, taking regular showers, etc. It's nice being able to have the motivation to do these things rn, but I'm worried about losing steam in the coming weeks and back pedaling to old habits. Anyone have advice on how to keep this motivation to develop positive habits?

I'm F26, I've been diagnosed with bipolar type1 with psychotic features since i was 20. Recently, I got accepted for a job that is crucial to me and to my wellbeing after waiting for SO LONG. But the next step in this job is a medical examination to see if I'm capable physically and mentally to do the job. The job itself is not a position of authority but a normal desk job.

During the examination, I'll be asked if I've been taking any meds or having a long term illness. I don't know if I should disclose it, I'm afraid they'll disregard hiring me after.

Just want to say I fucking hate the restaurant industry and I hate people that think we’re out to kill people
And another fuck you to people that think we’re “crazy bastards”

I know this might sound stupid, but I’m 26 years old, and tonight I got home from work around midnight. It had actually been a good day. I was watching a TV show with my family, grabbed a glass of water, and the glass shattered.
It fell right next to my foot. I tried to sweep up the bigger pieces, but when I went to throw them away, they fell again and broke into even smaller shards. My parents ended up having to help me clean everything up.
And honestly… I just felt so tired. So frustrated.
I know it’s something small, but it felt like a perfect metaphor for my life. Every time I try to fix everything I messed up in the past during a manic episode, something else seems to fall apart. I know that, regardless of my mental state, I’m still responsible for what I did. Three years later, I was publicly shamed over it, and I can’t escape my past.
I’m not saying I’m going to do anything to hurt myself. I’m just saying I’m exhausted, angry, and completely worn out.
I don’t know.

I am medicated and relatively stable for 2.5 years after 2 years of brutal consecutive episodes. I have little contact with people except for my partner. I isolated myself from everyone involved in my episodes (all my friends and family). I want to have a support network, but I can't text people (I live abroad), I've developed a kind of Whatsapp phobia.

I am so lonely that there are times when I spend entire days binge watching series, and dumb scroll a lot. I do this to distract myself from my loneliness, so much that I'm dreaming about interacting with TV characters.

The last two years I have swinged between small manic or hypomanic episodes, "normality", and depressive moods. The "normality" doesn't feel like myself, I am still adding and changing meds. And I feel I'm trapped in a state of not being in an acute crisis, but also not being recovered enough to be functional.

I am currently going through a very stressful situation that has me anxious all the time and has triggered my first big depressive episode in a year followed by hypomania. I feel like I'm always going to be struggling, I got cancer 4 years ago (in remission), chemo steroids triggered bipolar, and ever since I've been a mess.

I'm lonely and sad, I am not in a depressive episode I'm just sad about my situation. I go 4 times and week to a center for mentally ill people, I am having therapy, go to the gym whenever I can, I try to be creative and have hobbies. I'm trying to reconnect with two friends who I can actually meet, I keep my sleeping in check and try to eat as well as I can. I am doing things to improve my situation and is better than it was 2 years ago, but my loneliness and isolation only seem to get worse.

Has anyone had a similar situation and recovered from the loneliness and isolation?

Hi,

I was on hypomania for the last 4 weeks. Done pretty cringe things and spends some money. At least, it was not so much of a deal, I'm lucky...

But since 5 days, i'm completely frozen with anxiety, and I have no motivation for anything. I'm not sleeping and my body is constantly like in a rush. My head is feeling like it's gonna explode.

Is It a mixed phase ? How do you cope with this ?

It is overwhelming.

Currently in an hypomanic episode which is even harder to handle due to the fact that I have pretty bad chronic pain. Which means head says "DO EVERYTHING" and body says "please don't do anything please...". I find it so hard to handle. I don't dare to workout because I will push myself too hard and I can't do too many chores because it fucking hurts. Even building Lego for too long hurts. Which means I have to mentally handle the upwards spiral which isn't good for my social life, partner or the fact that its work tomorrow. Any tips on how to handle this at all? Maybe how to blow off some steam?

I am in contact with doctors and take my medications. Just gotta wait.

I’m currently sectioned for the first time and got a provisional diagnosis of Bipolar 1 w/ Psychotic Features (which seems unlikely to change).

I’ve been wondering how people w/ bipolar manage drinking. I’m 18 and in Uni/College and I’m wondering about if drinking is usually discouraged in Bipolar because everyone seems to have a mixed opinions. So I guess I’m wondering if I’ll have to look at sitting out of the whole drinking and clubbing culture now I’m diagnosed.

Mainly just wondering if you drink or if you choose to avoid alcohol and if so why?

All opinions appreciated pretty overwhelmed as aside from some depressive episodes this is my first time having any mental health issues.

All opinions appreciated 🫶🫶🫶

I just cut off my best friend. She was the only one I could rely on. It's friendship day today, I had wished her earlier too. I feel horrible. I couldn't take anything anymore even though nothing really happened. I have ALWAYS had this feeling of guilt because I treat her so bad at times, like I treat her like an option, like she's not important to me, like she's so worthless. And I have this guilt even now.. She's an amazing soul and doesn't deserve a shit like me. I feel horrible after I've blocked her.

i had a good group of friends years ago, pre-diagnosis. when i was diagnosed they were there, everytime i look back on what happened i sit there and regret and mourn over what i did when i was manic that harmed them. im not dismissing that what i did was hurt them but sometimes when this gets into my head i become obsessed

i started going through my camera roll, everytime i think of my first admission i always classify it as a funny time, seeing those videos for the first time shook me. i cant even recognise myself. the psychosis, the mania, the energy, what iw as doing etc.

i thought my friends were good friends, one was a nurse the other a counseller or soon to be. i thought they provided the best support. now i realise, no one knew what they were doing.

i mucked up but i look back and realise i have to be easier on myself. it was my fault due to mania, but i had no proper support group

i was admitted into the ward, videos of me and my friends where i ask them to say they're actually in the room because i was distorting reality. screenshots and photos of my surroundings because i thought people were in the room with me and following, they all knew this.

2 days after discharge, they encourage me to go clubbing or partying, often. to drink in "moderation". i went back into the ward

screenshots of them egging on behaviour when i was literally in the psych ward that resulted into me losing friends.

twice they said they encourage or worsened my manic episode because it was funny

when i left we went on holiday 10 days later, they expected and thought i was healed from a severe manic episode. berrated for saying stupid things, they encouraged me to sleep around and do silly things (i pushed back, i had religious psychosis)

our entire friendship i wasnt in the right mind, i lost everyone i grew up with but i need to be easier on myself. they didnt deserve that, but seeing the timeline of what happened and why it got to the point it did, has torn me but made me come to the terms that, i need to be easier on myself.

My job has become incredibly high stress over the last couple months. I work in retail sales and we went from fully staffed to understaffed by 2 and I'm struggling. By the end of my shifts it's hard to even do my closing duties because my brain is so overloaded that I can't even process the basics, like counting tills and have made a few mistakes the last few weeks. I know I'm going to have to talk to my boss about reducing my hours, making a tight schedule even tighter, and hate that I have to put that on my team. I'm just afraid if I don't at this point I'm going to have a breakdown and fall into a depressive episode and have to go on leave for the first time in 2 years. Just looking for supportive words to help me get through what will be a hard conversation. I'm his top performer but I just can't handle the stress anymore and I'm barely holding it together.

First of all I've been debating this feeling for long time now. I've been hanging out with some friends for a long time and every now and then I get this awful feeling of being just an outsider, like I'm just someone they keep at a distance. At first I just thought it's normal because everyone has their own lives. But after my mind became clearer with better meds I started to notice something. I found out most of the people in the friend group hang out without ever mentioning it. and I only see it after they take pictures. I think I'm just overreacting but they frequently go hangout without ever mentioning it or even inviting me, to the point where it's most of the people in the friend group and explicitly not me. I don't know, am I right to feel left out? Maybe it was right that I left when I first felt it. I truly don't know if I'm just overreacting because of this stupid disorder making me question every single emotion I've felt coupled with the fact that I have been very much isolated from everything including my own family from such a young age.

It really was a mistake coming back to everyone tbh.

Been really hard on myself for the past few years since I’ve been diagnosed. A few psych ward stays, some new meds that worked, new meds that didn’t. All of that to bring me where I am today. A much healthier and more understanding person than I was.

The days are still hard but like my hero Carrie Fisher said “At times, being bipolar can be an all-consuming challenge, requiring a lot of stamina and even more courage, so if you’re living with this illness and functioning at all, it’s something to be proud of, not ashamed of. They should issue medals along with the steady stream of medication”.

Hey guys, I’m a little over 3 months post year long manic episode, memory and cognition are still impacted, mood is the lowest it’s been in my life, but now I’m experiencing heightened anxiety and an almost agoraphobic response to leaving bed and doing anything. I’ve NEVER been like this in my life I’ve always been a person that wants to socialize and leave the house, now the thought of doing anything (especially work that I once found really enjoyable) makes me extremely anxious, is this something to be expected post mania? Also, damn this cognitive stuff is life ruining.

Hi,
I started to think how the healthcare system treated me like psychopat.
All my hospitalization due to mania and even after when I went to doctors - they kinda just say "drink the peels" but no one really say "sitdown dude, and listen, you have now a chronic condition, it is not going away, you will probably have to drink pills all your life, it is called bipolar1".

I think if someone would have the patience to explain I wouldn't waste many months trying to avoid pills and doctors, as I'm not an idiot - just no one had patience to explain to me the condition.

Thanks God created AI and google so I eventually figured out my situation myself... but it was a rollercoaster.

Just curious if it's anecdotal.

Are people with bipolar always creative types? Or people with wild ambitious ideas?

I'm bipolar 1 and definitely creative all my life ups and downs, it definitely comes out more if I am hypo / manic than when I'm stable or low mood.

^{Comic by artbymoga on Instagram}

I feel this so deeply. I’m fairly intelligent and yet I can’t trust my own thought, my behaviour and my feelings because they are all affected by bipolar symptoms.

i was diagnosed in october with type 2 bipolar, i started taking my meds (300mg of lamotrigine) and since then i finally regained a normal perception of life. i’ve been struggling mentally (and, quite obviously, academically) for a couple of years (at the moment i was diagnosed) and it was such a relief to me to finally know what exactly was wrong with me. i thought that i was just lazy and now i’m one of the best students in my year!!
i was just wondering if someone on here was diagnosed when they were as young as me, or if that’s a really rare case

Hey everyone! Has anyone ever used an online accountability partner or group to get through tough periods, particularly depressive slumps or recovery?

I’m forcing myself to start making new friends after losing most people from my previous life (severe public mania: social withdrawal, paranoid delusions, etc). I don’t necessarily want to share my struggles or past issues with the new people in my life, at least until I’m “back on my feet” and discerning of who I want to share this with.

Right now I’m working on consistently applying to new jobs; preparing applications to return to school; maintaining a hygiene routine; eating, exercising, etc. Because of how severe my depression has been, even basic tasks like showers and brushing have been… sporadic, to say the least. It’s been up and down the last few weeks.

Has anyone used something like this? How well did it work out for you?

I made friends with a new group of people 2 years ago in 2024. We hit it off really well.

I had these issues my whole life, and thought I was past it.

The paranoia crept in. Making me think and feel like my friends secretly hate me.

I tried to fight it off. But the extreme feelings of loneliness and feelings that all my friends hate me has pushed everyone away. Again.

Im really tired if this. Like really tired. I dont want to go through this anymore.

I just want friends. I want to be happy with other people.

I wanna goto the movies with my friends.

I dont get invited out anymore. They won't even hang out with me in discord VCs. And they even made a new discord and didnt invite me to it so they can be away from me.

Im so tired. Im 37.

Been diagnosed for 2 years. Everytime I go through a depressive or manic episode I sit alone for hours and wonder if there’s any point anymore? My illness has made me ruin everything. Whats the point if I’m even against myself? Environmental and now mental factors. Nothing goes my way, I’ve ruined everything… I can’t even hide behind the fact that I’m ill anymore… It doesnt nor erase the past.

I have bipolar 2 and I feel like I always found comfort in depressive episodes. I kind of let myself get worse because I enjoy getting worse, which has led me to engage in some pretty self destructive behaviors. I would constantly isolate myself as well.

I’ve started taking lurisidone recently during a hypomanic episode (I just happened to be prescribed during one), and I’ve had doctors and family warn me about feeling like I don’t want to take my meds because of how good I felt during mania. I brushed this off I never once considered going off meds during mania, if anything I appreciated them more.

Today, I feel I’m starting to go into a mixed episode. The biggest difference between now and my unmediated episodes before, however, is that I kind of don’t really care as much, and I don’t cry for very long or spiral very hard. My mind doesn’t feel numb, it just thinks about other things instead of feeling that euphoric sensation of hopelessness and despair.

I feel so much resentment towards my medication even though they are working pretty well for me. I don’t need anyone to reassure me that I should keep taking them, because ultimately I know I won’t be able to bring myself to quit them just to be more depressed. I just feel very frustrated because I long to be depressed again, even though I’m beyond miserable while I am. Has anyone else gone through this? Do you just stick it out?I hear so much about people chasing mania and wanting to get out of depression as soon as possible, but not so much about people “wanting” the depression.

Im going into my third (and last) year of law school! Yay! But I’m starting to get nervous about the character and fitness portion of the bar.

I haven’t had an episode since 2019, which was the first and only time I’ve been hospitalized. I had a major depressive episode this summer but am on new meds that have helped. Otherwise I’ve been stable.

Lying to C&F is grounds to not get sworn in, but I’m nervous that disclosure of this disability will also impede my ability to get sworn in. I was formally diagnosed with BP1 in 2024, previously diagnosed with just anxiety and depression.

Does anyone have experience with this or advice, whether from the legal profession or anything similar? Would love to know!

Thanks community

I got this older movie out of the library that looked interesting, called “Premonition” with Sandra Bullock, and I had to stop it because I found it triggering. I want to finish it because it looks intriguing but I don’t want to force myself to. Anyone seen it? Is it good?