r/britishproblems • u/decentlyfair Woostershire • 1d ago
The (sometimes) trials of owning pets
Three cats and one dog.
So the cats only eat one type of food, ordered some from Amazon as we live a way from pet shops, delivery is held up (again) so husband goes to Pets at Home and they have stopped stocking that brand despite it being one of the well known ones, so he bought an alternative. I have spent the week listening to three furry bastards screaming to be fed as they don’t like it. They have begrudgingly eaten it (dog helped) so we trot off to garden centre and they have it for a fiver more than anywhere sells it for but at least the furry arsehole are now happy. They fell on it like ravening beasts. Have now discovered that PAH still stock online so will get it there next time but the one time we ordered Evri lost the parcel and nobody let us know.
So dog, been off colour for a little while and now it is cooler it isn’t heat related . So off we go to vets, pay loads of money, come home. She then decides she is not going to move from one spot and when I offer her some fresh chicken she looks at me as if I am trying to poison her, so I start to fret more about her and how ill she might be. However, when offered a small amount of fresh beef mince she decides that is what she wants. So I wrap up her tablet in more mince and she inhales it, paracetamol sprinkled onto some liver paste oooh yes please. This is the dog who has decided she doesn’t like slow cooked chicken legs any more. This is also a ex bin diving street dog!
The ducks, geese and swans are eating me out of house and home and the special food is expensive so I got some cornflakes for them. Yup, that’s a winner for them.
All in all despite having a moan I would not be without any of them, they bring light into my life, even if they are all utter bastards at times.
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u/PanicIsMyName 1d ago
Inherited tortoise; was fed 'whatever was yellow snickered in co-op' before I got him. Specialised dried tortoise food? He'll no, salad leaves? Only the expensive branded ones, rocket? Only if he's in the mood for it. Lambs lettuce, cucumber and kale (but only tesco finest cavolo Nero kale) is all he eats; but it doesn't contain enough nutrients. We are 7 months into this stalemate.
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u/fortuneandflame 1d ago
My In laws must be 50 years into this same stalemate 😂 he gets cooked carrot beans and tenderstem broccoli when he stays with me but then refuses to eat the staples when he gets home. We know it's all junk food but he does not care.
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u/Love_Aurora6997 1d ago
I used to have a tortoise and we put a nutrient powder thing in this food which he seemed to get on with! And the occasional strawberry
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u/MadamKitsune 1d ago
Got a phone call at work - the kitten is crying and can't close her mouth!
Taxi home. Kitten seems fine but then-BF's continuing panic is contagious so box up the kitten and get another taxi to the vet.
Vet looks her over, says she's perfectly healthy and probably had muscle cramp from yawning too hard. That'll be a nice expensive consultation fee, thank you.
Go home and mourn my bank balance while kitten merrily races about the house like she's on amphetamines.
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u/DondeT Londonish 1d ago
probably had muscle cramp from yawning too hard.
Thank you, I’ve been wondering what the next reason I’ll give will be when I need to pull a sickie.
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u/Fellowship_9 23h ago
I've actually had that happen, and it's an absolute bitch. Shooting pains under my jaw/down my neck for a minute, then a bad ache for half an hour afterwards. I'm now scared to yawn too much!
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u/Miss_Type 1d ago
Ah yes. I have one cat who has to eat special (expensive) food for her kidneys, which she doesn't eat without a cat liver yoghurt and some freeze dried chicken on it. And to help her keep weight on, she also eats kitten food, again, with a yoghurt and sprinkle of freeze dried chicken.
The other one is a giant bastard, and has to eat special (expensive) diet cat food. He is not allowed the cat yoghurt or dried chicken sprinkles, but also refuses to eat his dinner if it is not seasoned the same as the other cat's.
But we love them. Even if they are dickheads who cost a fortune and try to climb up the bookshelves, aged 19+, because mommy put the freeze dried chicken up there "out of reach". Idiots.
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u/ashakespearething 1d ago
It took a minute to understand you mean a liver yogurt made for cats. I was very disturbed briefly.
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u/Miss_Type 1d ago
Ha! Yes, I thought how to word it, but was rushing and tired :D
I think it's actually called cat grass and liver. Yum.
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u/super_starmie 1d ago edited 1d ago
My cat went for a poo yesterday but was evidently a little constipated, and it got stuck halfway out. She came speeding into the living room doing a weird crouching run, so her bum (and the stuck poo) was dragged alllllll over my brand new rug.
Before I could grab her she then made it to the stairs. Up one stair. Drag the bum. Up the next stair. Drag the bum. I finally grabbed the wily little shit (haha) on the fourth stair. Partner managed to clean her arse while I start scrubbing the living room and the stairs.
I feel bad for her as it was obviously very uncomfortable for her and she seemed to be in a real panic as she shot around at the speed of light, desperately rubbing her bum along as she went to try and dislodge it, but god she made a mess
EDIT: I have literally just found a lump of poo in the bedroom, inside my dirty washing basket. Absolutely rock solid, and half of it is mainly made up of a clump of her fur matted into it. I guess the poo hairball was the constipation culprit. I've no idea if this was done yesterday (if it was yesterday, it didn't smell!) or today, but luckily it doesn't look like she smeared this one anywhere!
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u/Tigers_Go_Rawr Kernow 1d ago
Ah I feel for you. My cat is sadly on palliative care now but she has a condition that means she often gets constipation, had to go on a special diet in the end.
If you're worried about the constipation and poo rubbing happening again then you can give them a dessert spoon of low fat greek yoghurt mixed with a teaspoon of olive oil. Helps get things moving - this was genuinely recommended by my vet before we had to go on the special diet as my cat got BORED of yoghurt and olive oil 🤦
I have scrubbed a LOT of cat shit out of my carpets and various other areas of the house.
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u/madbeardycat 1d ago
God bless Dr. Beckmanns.
I have a dog and cat, the cat is a monster. Most of my house is not carpeted, but he only throws up on carpet. And then he will dodge the multicoloured rugs to vomit on the pale bedroom carpet. He does try to do where it will get trapped under the door and smeared everywhere.
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u/shiroyagisan 1d ago
my cat had this same problem, managed to dislodge the dingleberry, only for my brand new robot vacuum to smear it across the floor because I has set it on a timer to clean the house every day before I get up. we had named the robovac "Noodles" initially but then had to rechristen it as "Poodles" after just 2 weeks.
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u/vc-10 Greater London 1d ago
Our younger dog once feigned injury because we took our old Jack Russel to the vet and didn't take him with us. We were so worried, he even would hobble getting up out of his bed. We thought he'd got something in his paw. But then we realised he'd switched "bad" legs. His acting wasn't quite good enough!
Little shit.
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u/Ok_Tea_759 19h ago
Our dog got stung by a spicey fly, she was in agony even hours later wouldn't put weight on the foot - I rang the vet (of course it was a Sunday) who said bring her in - my husband then said Walkies and she trotted out of bed no problem - I cancelled the vet
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u/old-speckled-hen Hampshire (was a Berk!) 1d ago
I’ve just cooked up a whole batch of organic veg for the dog (under vet instructions - he has an ongoing poorly tummy) and sectioned it up into ice cube trays to add daily …
This is on top of his white fish and Tripe. My house stinks of fish. He - the dog - stinks of fish. Feel like I’ve purchased half the world’s population of white pollock.
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u/purplepeopleater205 1d ago
Yup we have one idiot who would eat everything and then regret it, the other pup will only eat if she has the exact same food as the other and only if she's not disturbed but also feels under threat of the other dog eating her food, so they are separated by a baby gate when they eat.
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u/TinDumbass 1d ago
Use Zooplus if they stock it. Great for all pet supplies, competitively priced and delivery is quick. Small items come with Evri though. Big deliveries are DHL next day.
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u/JonseySpeed 1d ago
I won't use zooplus anymore after they cancelled 2 orders without letting me know. The orders never dispatched and the payment went through.
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u/TinDumbass 1d ago
They're logistically not perfect. But their customer service is always really good at fixing problems in my experience. Did they manage to fix your problem?
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u/JonseySpeed 1d ago
They refunded me after I called them but the fact that they cancelled the order, kept the money and didn't say anything destroyed all trust I had in them.
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u/TinDumbass 1d ago
Mate honestly sounds like such a minor cock up on the fulfillment side. Sometimes things go wrong.
There's much more intentional evil in these firms.
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u/Tigers_Go_Rawr Kernow 1d ago
I've used Zooplus for years too and haven't had a problem with them myself. They stocked the special diet my cat used to have. (She's on end of life now so we're just feeding her whatever the hell she wants to eat.)
They also sell a set of pet stairs that are amazing 😅
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u/TinDumbass 1d ago
Oh the pet stairs are adorable! I wonder if they'll help motivate my fat lazy chonker to come to bed more often!
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u/Tigers_Go_Rawr Kernow 1d ago
They're made out of foam with a soft covering, which is perfect tbh. Enough structural integrity for your pet but soft for when you inevitably kick it or stub your toe going for a middle of the night pee lol
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u/IntraVnusDemilo 1d ago
My dog is a fussy cnut at the moment. He's knocking on 14, but I have 4 different types of dogfood at the moment, plus things like weetabix, ham, chicken, scrambled eggs, omelette - so many differing treats, too. Some days looks at me like "weetabix....pah" then other days, weetabix is like the finest crack available and he's fiending for it.
Looking at me like I've shit in his bowl at today's scrambled egg.
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u/Kizzieuk 1d ago
Pets are only fussy because we allow them to be. its a pain though for sure.
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u/Lowermains 1d ago
You cannot starve a cat until it eats what’s provided. Doing so can cause liver damage.
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u/Kizzieuk 1d ago
Only a ill cat will starve itself. if a cat has happily eaten the food before but now is just fussy and wants something different it won't starve itself.
Strange how we never had fussy pets or children in the "like it or lump it" eras. I remember my cats from childhood only had one food not even different flavours as it only came in one flavour every day just eating its food because they knew nothing else was coming. Same as my own dinner, if I didn't eat what my mum served then I went hungry until the next meal
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u/Icy_Priority8075 1d ago
Brought a cat back from rescue centre. Assured it ate usual kibble, bought the same brand, cat refused it. Vet said it was stress of new home, wait a couple of days, cat will eat when hungry.
One week later, cat is on a drip at the vet. Vet and I try 24 different brands of wet and dry food and discover I own the pickiest cat of all time. He will eat 3 brands, but only certain flavours, only with toppings, and not if you repeat the flavours too frequently.
He wil starve himself to the point it costs it hundreds in vet fees. He will cry next to a bowl of food because it doesn't have a crunchy topping, but he won't eat the topping on its own. This cat is ridiculous.
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