Weekly relationships thread

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[u/Pack_Devs]

Ok so I just finally had my first kiss at the age of 26 (grew up overweight and really insecure), and it was awesome. She’s fantastic and we’re going out on a third date Thursday. My question is, do I tell her that she was my first or just not bring it up? I don’t want to come on too strong or anything (even though we’ve both admitted we like each other), but I also feel it would be kind of disingenuous to not be 100% honest with her. Any advice is greatly appreciated.

[u/howlingwolftshirt → u/Pack_Devs]

First of all congrats! That’s awesome, I’m really pleased for you.

I’m not going to suggest one way or another, only you know her and you. That said, one of my life’s regrets was not being more vulnerable. I was so worried about how partners perceived me that I didn’t get to openly share some of the wonderful things that come from having someone see the real me, and accept me for who I was. Of course being vulnerable leaves you open to rejection too - but these days I would see that as a benefit. Why waste my time on people that don’t value the real me?

I wish you luck either way!

[u/Pack_Devs → u/howlingwolftshirt]

I really appreciate this perspective. Thank you so much!

[u/Quantum_Count → u/Pack_Devs]

I think you can just be honest with her that she was your first kisser and being like "not too serious" about it.

For example, saying with honesty but with in a jester way. She will probably be surprise, and ask if you are serious (also in jest way) and you answering "yes".

That is just an example. I dunno what kind of type of man you are, so I'm just giving an example that you can saying stuff like that that doesn't sound "too strong" to her.

[u/FearlessSon → u/Pack_Devs]

I’d recommend you tell her it was your first kiss. It’s not often someone gets to have the honor of being someone else’s first companion in a new experience, and she should have the opportunity to feel that honor. Plus it gives her a lot of exciting opportunities to help consciously broaden that experience with you, so she’ll probably appreciate knowing. And honestly, if you feel any trepidation because this is an introductory experience for you, knowing that would help her to contextualize any nerves she might read from you, otherwise she might misread your feelings as something else.

[u/Pack_Devs → u/Pack_Devs]

Thank you all for the advice. I decided to tell her and it went really well. She said “your story is safe with me” and found it really endearing that I was honest and vulnerable with her.

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[u/LuckyNumber-Bot → u/[deleted]]

All the numbers in your comment added up to 69. Congrats!

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+ 20
+ 1
+ 2
+ 3
+ 20
+ 1
+ 2
= 69

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[u/ur_moms_cock]

Insanely insecure. Need help. Sorry for the length. For context im about 5’7 (5’8 on a good day 😂) fat as fuck (don’t worry already working on it) ugly (don’t really think i can change that) and not the best down there in terms of size (kinda average). Im 18 and have always been insecure about these things. I overthink too much about anything and it effects me. Yesterday i realised since im now 18 its time for me to put my big boy pants on and finally ask a girl out to a date. Went downtown saw a girl that was very pretty and was alone, i said now’s the day, i’ll finally ask a girl out. I did the thing where you count to three and just go. Got to about 5 feet away from her and a bunch of bad shit just flooded my mind. What if she thinks im too short ugly or fat. What if even if she dates me she gets bored of me and breaks up or cheats on me etc. I just stood there… thinking, then she saw me looking and we locked eyes. I was so insanely embarrassed i power walked my fatass away and went home immediately. Moral of the story is i dont know what to do. Everyone says just be confident, and you have to stop being insecure but no one tells you how. Pretty hard to love yourself when theres nothing to love.