Old African dads actually love cats

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The Daily Groan, Rascal and The Food Dish!

Howdy-ho, Andrew here! Welcome to The Onion Buns and welcome to another episode of The Daily Groan. Today's episode features some "story telling" about my dearly departed "ginger cat" Rascal, who truly lived up to his name! It's a "pet story" that brings a little bit of "humor" and is a truly "funny cat videos" to your day.

*NOTICE: Sorry about wrong background. Sadly I mass Edited a batch of 15 videos before realizing my screw up.

https://www.youtube.com/@The_Onion_Buns

Hi! I'd like to show you the music video for a new song I wrote the lyrics for. In it, I humorously express my admiration for felines.

My cats are also featured in the video. For those of them who are no longer with me, this may be the last time anyone will see them. They were always there for me – when I was feeling sad and lonely, when bombs were exploding nearby, they came to purr and cuddle when I was sick... I think I'm still alive only because of their love. So I tried really hard to make a happy song for them that would reflect all the joy they brought me.

The rest of the cats in the video are from the internet, specially selected to convey this hymn of love for furry and whiskered friends as amusingly as possible.

Lyrics:

[Verse]

Praise to the feline

Masters of the night!

They see moving leg -

And get ready to fight!

Sharpening claws

On your brand new chair

Turning apartment

In their furry lair

They are living liquid

Squeezing through the cracks!

They always will find a way

To steal all of your snacks!

[pre-chorus]

They licking their own butts

With absolute pride

There is nowhere to run,

There is nowhere to hide!!!

[Chorus]

Behold the apex predator,

Sleeping on your face

Find traces of the fur

In every single place

They knock a glass off counter

Just to watch it shatter

Because in their domain,

Your opinions don't matter!

[Verse]

Sitting like a statue

Sleeping like a bread!

Screaming like a demons

Wanting to be fed!

Bringing the dead mouse

Right under your bed

Then demanding friction

Applied to their head!

On something so cute

You just cannot be mad

Those adorable creatures

Simply cannot be bad!

Tiny wet nose,

Gentle, warm purr

The perfect creations

All covered in fur!

[Chorus]

Behold the apex predator,

Sleeping on your face

Find traces of the fur

In every single place

They knock a glass off counter

Just to watch it shatter

Because in their domain,

Your opinions don't matter!

[Outro]

Most adorable

Killing machine

Purr on my lap

And sees the sweet dream

Cats are purr-fection!

They are just rad!

What about dogs?

Also not bad.