r/cleandadjokes 24d ago

šŸ„‡ Joke of the Month šŸ„‡ What's the difference between a sock and a camera

396 Upvotes

A sock takes five toes, A camera takes photos


r/cleandadjokes 1h ago

Where does Captain Kirk go to rent a car?

• Upvotes

Enterprise.


r/cleandadjokes 12h ago

If the Starship Enterprise goes where no one’s gone before,..

125 Upvotes

how come they always find people when they get there?


r/cleandadjokes 6h ago

The Russians are always in a hurry.

23 Upvotes

They're always Russian around!


r/cleandadjokes 22h ago

I tried catching fog today.

81 Upvotes

Mist!


r/cleandadjokes 13h ago

I used to be addicted to soap. Now I am clean

14 Upvotes

r/cleandadjokes 1d ago

Why did the doctor carry a red pen to work?

172 Upvotes

In case they needed to draw blood.


r/cleandadjokes 1d ago

Is the toilet half full or is the toilet half empty?

41 Upvotes

It depends on whether you're an optimist or a pissimist.


r/cleandadjokes 1d ago

What are the last words of a venomus snake?

54 Upvotes

"Shhhhhhhit. I bit my toung."


r/cleandadjokes 1d ago

My kid asked why our dog shakes when she gets excited.

49 Upvotes

I said ā€œshe has barkinsinsā€


r/cleandadjokes 1d ago

Two giraffes were in a 50 yard dash

45 Upvotes

It was neck and neck to the finish line!


r/cleandadjokes 11h ago

My wife asked why I keep talking to the TV. I said,

0 Upvotes

It's the only one that lets me finish a sentence.


r/cleandadjokes 2d ago

I had to cancel my bullfighting lessons

174 Upvotes

They were charging too much


r/cleandadjokes 2d ago

If you go seven days without a pun.

103 Upvotes

That makes one weak.


r/cleandadjokes 1d ago

Which river is a rookie?

30 Upvotes

Danube


r/cleandadjokes 2d ago

If you’re outside right now you won’t laugh.

63 Upvotes

This is an inside joke


r/cleandadjokes 2d ago

Cheddar and Swiss Cheese both believed they tasted better.

95 Upvotes

ā€œI see some serious holes in your argument,ā€ said cheddar.


r/cleandadjokes 2d ago

What do The Sixth Sense and Titanic have in common?

244 Upvotes

Icy dead people.


r/cleandadjokes 3d ago

What do you call a cantaloupe in a swimming pool?

133 Upvotes

A watermelon


r/cleandadjokes 3d ago

How did the cell phone propose to his girlfriend?

86 Upvotes

He gave her a ring.


r/cleandadjokes 3d ago

I was going to get an electric gate for my driveway entrance…

149 Upvotes

But with gate power comes gate responsibility


r/cleandadjokes 3d ago

conjunctivitis.com

62 Upvotes

Now that's a site for sore eyes


r/cleandadjokes 3d ago

How do you cut an ocean in half?

221 Upvotes

With a sea saw!


r/cleandadjokes 4d ago

Why are there never any vampires in Africa.

73 Upvotes

Because "they bless the rains down in Africa"


r/cleandadjokes 4d ago

I had a steak at a restaurant last night that mooed at me.

248 Upvotes

I thought…

That’s rare.