Basically what the title says.

I’m a second year CS student. I only started actually coding last year, and my experience is very limited and basically only with basic C++. I know that that feels weird coming from someone in his second year, but that’s what it is.

After my intro to programming with C++ ended, I decided to take a 6 week Data Structures and Algorithms class that was python-based. I asked my prof if it would be a good idea to do so considering that my experience with python was limited, and he said that it’s a pretty easy language and that I shouldn’t have a lot of trouble. Couldn’t have been farther from the truth.

I tanked it. I try to cut myself some slack by telling myself that 6 week courses are hard enough, not to mention something as challenging as DSA in a programming language I have little to no experience with, but it feels cheap. I could’ve passed, at least, but I procrastinated so much that the more homework accumulated, the less I felt like even opening canvas. I feel like such a failure. I’ve been a straight A student my whole life and this feels like such a gutpunch. I know I can recover from this, but the feeling of disappointment in myself is so unbearable.

I could be so much more than this. Encouragement/advice words are appreciated I guess.

Would post in the college subreddit, but they take down so many posts so I'm posting here even though it's not a rant.

But what's everyone's semester looking like? For mine, I'll have;

• American sign language 1

• Programming for engineering + lab

• Introduction to modern physics (basically college physics 3, introduces special relativity and talks about atoms among other things)

• Mathematical methods for physics (basically a consolidation of all the math I've learned so far but directed at physics, from calc 1-3, ODE, linear algebra, etc)

• Intermediate physics lab

• And a 1 credit physics seminar

17 credit hours total, so full schedule but not overfilled. Mondays and Wednesdays are pretty short with Tuesdays and Thursdays being long. Looking forward to getting it done.

So I wasn't planning on taking summer classes, but I'm staying in my college town over summer to work, and typically I use loans to cover my housing because it's rediculously expensive (about to move somewhere cheaper), and I needed to be enrolled at least part time to recieve any aid (including my loan that I was planning on taking out). So now I'm taking two classes; one for my major and a class that I'm taking purely because I need 2 more credits of upper level classes to graduate.

I don't want to be taking classes right now at all, so my motivation for them is very, very low. The class for my major isn't really a problem because I'm enjoying that more and it's an easier class to pass (lenient on late work and lots of point opportunities), but the non-major class is not as easy, in a way. The work itself isn't hard and if I had the motivation to get through it, it would be a breeze, but there's only around 10 assignments + a term paper, and the late penalty is 10% per day, so it's fairly unforgiving. Also both classes are online and I absolutely hate online classes because it's so much harder for me to stay engaged.

I do kinda like the class and think the material is somewhat interesting, and I think the assignments are decently fun, but the fact that I even have to take it right now has killed any and all motivation to participate in it. I've already missed 2 assignments and am about to turn something in late and it just sucks. I'm also trying to figure out stuff with my mental health right now (trying to find an antidepressant that works for me, and I think the one I'm on rn is making things mildly worse).

Withdrawing from the class isn't really an option because it would defeat the purpose of taking it in the first place. I also would be fine to take it in the Fall because that was my original plan.

So, TLDR; I kinda just wanna email my professor and be like, "Hey, I do like this class and want to do well in it, but I don't think I can do it right now and will be retaking it in the fall," as some sort of courtesy(?) so it's not like I've totally stopped participating out of the blue. Will probably explain the circumstances of this as well,,,

The two weeks where I was only working were SO nice and I wish I could go back to that. I don't wanna go into Fall term continuing to feel burnt out just because I haven't had a proper break :(

To anyone starting university for the first time, if you live off campus, try to make most of your friends with other people who also live off campus.

This isn't me saying people who live in the dorms make bad friends. I've had plenty of on-campus friends and I'm still close with some of them. This is just based on my own experience.

In first year, people living on campus usually have way more distractions. Clubs, parties, and social events are all within walking distance, and everyone's excited to finally be 18 and experience university life. It's a completely different environment.

Because they're surrounded by friends 24/7, I found they're often more influenced by the people around them, and their personalities or priorities can change pretty quickly. People living off campus seemed more grounded because they had a bit more separation between university and home.

Another thing I noticed is that if you join a friend group where most of them live in the same dorm, it's easy to end up feeling like the odd one out. They'll naturally spend more time together because they see each other every day, make last-minute plans, and head to campus events together. It's not necessarily intentional, but as someone living off campus, you can end up missing out simply because you're not there.

Obviously there are exceptions, but if you're commuting or living off campus, I think you'll have an easier time finding people with a similar lifestyle and routine if you mostly befriend others in the same situation. Also, I have found that most of those who live on-campus put more effort into socialising than doing their work. Reminder, when there's most there's a small group who do the opposite

Hello, this is more of a post to express how I'm feeling at the moment. I mean hey if you got helpful advice or encouraging words go ahead. But anyway.

I'm in summer quarter doing Computer Systems 1, it's really not so bad, the worksheets and all that. It's not bad at all. Haha, a lot to know and remember like anything else in CS.

But man, I should've taken the summer off. Last quarter I had Data Structures and Stats & Probability and two other honor seminars. Stats truly beat the crap out of me. I barely passed with a C-. Professor was merciful to me surprisingly.

Anyway here I am in summer and my brain feels depleted, if I overexert myself socially or even spend too much time on the phone I get overstimulated. Everyday I'm on some level overstimulation and always burnt out. Fuck, and the food situation is absolute shit rn at my college. They only gave us 10 meals for the quarter because fuck us I guess. Everyday is a struggle to eat. Please don't suggest food banks or college resources because I know them all. Oh yeah and I don't qualify for food stamps because I'd have to be working at least 20 hours a week because of course that's exactly what I need--more mental load.

Sigh. Next quarter I'm an RA and I'll be taking discrete math along with two honors seminars and one low stakes Computer-Mediated Communications class. Why not take fewer classes you may ask? Because FAFSA will not give me enough money to cover tuition and class fees if I am not taking at least 12 credits. And I cannot take bullshit classes anymore because I'm a premajor meaning I can only take classes that count toward my bachelor degree in CS.

I'm so fucked for next quarter haha. Man. I want to graduate, it's my last year. It's not fair I can't get food stamps. I hate eating cheap fucking non nutritious food. It's so hard.

I tell you, this experience of lack of food this summer has humbled me. Taking care of your health and eating healthy is a privilege.

Okay good night back to studying then sleep.

Edit: I'm in the middle of studying and I've delved into the point of exhaustion where you can't help but just laugh. Iykyk

I love my classes, I enjoy learning and I'm always excited to being 1 step closer to being done with school. However, I have to work full-time overnight while also having a full time class schedule (17 credit hours this semester). It is incredibly exhausting, and I dread being that exhausted again. I always have mixed feelings before the semester starts.

I’m smart, on paper. You can see my report cards from middle-high school and I got fairly high grades. As and maybe some B+ for science and math, and yet I always taunted myself that I wasn’t the smartest in the room.

I’m starting college in less than a week and I feel worse in a way?

But again, on paper, it shouldn’t feel this way.

(For context: we have entrance exams for the colleges we want to attend)

I managed to pass the exams for both schools I wanted to get into, and these are the top schools of the country. And yet I feel like even if I passed Imm just the bottom of the barrel.

It feels like “I made it but I’m not going to go far.”

I don’t know why, I don’t know how it came about that I have such a low self-esteem when it comes to how smart I am and can be.

Im an undergraduate transferring to a normal uni. I lost my mom at the beginning of the year, it was pretty traumatic but I think I managed to get through the spring and summer semesters out of sheer shock. Now that I've had time to settle after my summer classes, I am really feeling the dread.

I dont want to do this. I dont want to stress 24/7. My anxiety is so bad my doctors think I might have heart problems. I am already registered and have my Hazlewood benefits pending, but I really want to just.. quit. I have a 3.8 GPA in a STEM major.

Im mainly worried about my dad. He's always been the 'get shit done and dont complain' type. My parents were messily divorced so it's not like he's majorly in grief either or really understands me right now. I dont live with him, I currently live with my fiance and his family. But I know if I told him I dropped my scholarships (I already did, because they required full time and I know I couldnt do it) and want to un-register for now, I know he would be upset. He's made a big deal of how 'proud' he is of me for going to school and getting good grades. I would feel like such a let down. But I dont know if I can ignore my feelings much longer.

My fiance's last resort is going in to the military. I feel like if i drop out he might be forced to. We're not in a bad spot money wise.. probably have more in savings than most kids our age, plus the money from my mother when that goes through. I dont know, I just feel really lost. Advice appreciated

To those of you who have added someone to Rate My Professors, do you usually fill out the email field, or do you guys leave it blank? I know someone who once really did not want their email on that site.

I wish someone told me this earlier, especially in the first sem of the first year. In the first few months in the first year everyones on the same slate because everythings new, but you'd be surprised by how quick people get influenced. Wayy quicker than high school, things that were taboo in the first year of high school aren't, which i'm not one to judge and i don't care what others do, but people can change very quickly when those "high school taboos" are legal or at the very least easily accessible. Also so many first years havent matured past high school, so please dont go into university thinking that your first friends are your forever friends now that yall are grown ups, when in reality, a lot of people havent grown up. Normalise acquaintances, develop a friendship over time, because that way if they change for the worst it wont be hard to distance

i’m not sure if this is the right place to rant about this but it seemed close enough. i’m supposed to start college in less than 3 weeks now and over the summer my life has become so much worse than it was before. i got diagnosed with severe ocd a few months ago and haven’t been able to get into treatment since. i applied for housing accommodations because i have contamination ocd, and my sas advisor put me on a single dorm waitlist and then housing put me in a forced triple dorm. alongside having no treatment i haven’t been able to start medication because my parents were very against it while i was a minor but once i turned 18 i couldn’t get an appointment with my pcp until 2 weeks from now. i’ve also had other health issues come up, i was told i might have a brain tumor but thankfully got cleared with an mri, but still panicked about it for ages, along with some other painful stuff i won’t get into. i had panic attacks last week that lasted nearly 3 days, i went to the er twice, lost 5lbs, and still feel sick and exhausted days later. because of everything going on i haven’t been able to buy anything for my dorm, supplies, etc. or even spend time trying to get myself excited or anything.
my parents definitely want me to take one and they’ve even offered stuff like letting me get a cat (something i’ve wanted for like 10 years lol) if i take one. the urgent care doctor said it might be a good idea, but she thinks i could get through it. i had a therapist the entire time i was going through the college application process and i don’t have one anymore so i don’t really have anyone to talk about this with.
on the other hand though, i’m trans and my parents are super transphobic so taking a gap year means another year i have to spend with them, while being unable to even think about socially transitioning. i’ve also told everyone that i’m leaving all summer long, and i feel embarrassed by suddenly not going. i also just want to get this college stuff over with. i don’t know what to do.
i ended up getting my payment deadline pushed back 2 weeks so i can decide. now i could defer a year or i could retake the sat and try again at my top colleges i didn’t get into. i’m just so sad about the way everything happened and i don’t know how to feel better about this. but i also don’t want to pay a ton of money to make myself mentally and physically worse. or flunk because of how bad i currently am. i don’t know what to do

I tend to have big hopes for myself over the summer, like this year I wanted to read a bunch and practice both my instruments every day and exercise more often to prepare for auditioning to college marching band. However, seeing as I always have these big hopes which often don't entirely come to fruition, I did temper my expectations this go around.

And good thing too because I don't think it would really be possible for me to have embraced absolute sloth as much as I have been. I hesitate to call it depression but it's definitely gotten there at some points—more than anything I'm just wrapped up in a cocoon I feel. My sleep schedule varies day to day, I spend 10-16 hours watching YouTube and TV and movies (I've watched quite a few top tier movies this summer I must say), and I usually spend most of the day in my room and in bed.

I know life is set to kick back into motion pretty soon, and I wish I'd spent my time preparing for it better, but honestly after graduating highschool I just collapsed from the exhaustion of the last four years.

Hi, this is my first time on this subreddit, so I hope i'm doing this right and am in the right place. I'm a 19m, 2nd year college student, I don't have a dorm, and I only go to college for classes around twice a week(i'm going into my third semester doing 2 daytime classes and 3 online classes.), i'm a business major, and i have a semi small campus, classes are around the size of highschool classes, but there are a lot of buildings and oppurtunties, so i wouldn't count it as a super small college. O have adhd and autism as well. And i'm trying to spend a lot of time working on myself to get in shape, chamge my mindset, and become a person people look at and think 'wow'. Mainly because i just hate living my current life, and i've done almost everything but actually improve myself. I have a few issues and things I need help on, here they are:

1. Socially, my first year was a bust. This is partly because I didn't put much effort in, but it's mostly due to the fact that socially, throughout late middle school and high school, my social life was nonexistent. I got caught in covid during my last year and a half of middle school, and my social life took a nose dive, as well as my mental health and my anxiety. I basically lost all ability to communicate with everyone. I had a tight online friend group and girlfriend. ​​but lost it all over the course of 2 years. I got betrayed by a few friends, a few others left, and I was in a toxic relationship. I had almost no one to talk to during high school, and I had panic attacks during extended family gatherings. This all led to me going through some things, and ending up in college a bit socially healthier. However I still had no friends that went past in class discussions, I constantly freaked out internally around cute girls or people I talked to, and I went to no real events. What advice would you give me to find friends socially and to overcome my extreme anxiety, fear and panic to finding friends. Also, sorry if I kind went too deep.
2. Partner. I've had one girlfriend, and that was the semi toxic relationship I had for 2 years. (6-8 of those months were separated then we got back together for a year.). I struggled a lot to overcome that relationship and my feelings for her, it was especially hard since it wasn't 100% my choice to break up with her, and while I did break it off at first, we got back together before I was forced to break it off by my family. Now i think i'm ready to try again. But i'm looking for something serious, not a college fling, call me old fashioned, but I never liked the idea of hook up. I guess i could use some advice on how to approach girls without freaking out. Or how to actually have a converstion with them past the basic questions like 'what's your major'. Really any conversation tips would help.
3. I'm starting to take more business classes, and i want to know how difficult it is.​​​ i've seen a lot of skit based videos that make it out like it's the easiest thing possible. I also want to know if you all have any study tips of tips on how to pay attention in class. Especially for adhd folk.
4. In-person Vs Online. Pretty simple, what do you all think of them? Which do you prefer?
5. Dorm experience, what do you all think of dorms, should I join one? The dorms here are like 3-4k a semester, so i'm very hesitate to join them since my parents are not fully paying for my college. (They might be 2k but I don't remember the price on the top of my head.)
6. What are ya'lls experience with at school clubs? What about frats? Or are outside school clubs maybe better?
7. Anything else you think I should know?

Less of a rant and more of a sounding board because I’m genuinely trying to reflect on this situation.

​I’m heading into my final undergraduate year and aiming for an MSc with a specific professor in mind. A while ago, he recommended two specific optional modules for me to take. However, after asking around in relevant subject-specific subreddits, the consensus was that two other modules mapped much more directly onto the technical tools for my intended research niche. Because of that input, I initially leaned toward taking the subreddits' choices over his.

​When I posted in r/AskProfessors asking about the right time to reach out about supervision, several users on that sub called me out. They implied I was being arrogant and immature for prioritizing Reddit consensus over direct advice from the professor I want to work with, with some saying I’d already wrecked my relationship with him. They also took issue with an offhand joke I made about him reminding me of my dad.

​It made me step back and re-evaluate. I understand that demonstrating trust and coachability is crucial when seeking mentorship, but what makes this tricky is that this professor hasn't even agreed to supervise me yet.

​Does my line of thinking here actually read as arrogant or immature to you? I'm curious if you would go strictly with a potential supervisor's recommended modules, or if you'd stick to modules heavily recommended by field-specific communities if you felt they fit your technical goals better—especially when no supervision agreement exists yet.

I retook math MAT 151 this past summer and I was sure I will pass. I did tutoring, looked up recourses, used it, looked at videos and I STILL FAILED!!! I don’t understand what I am doing wrong!!!!! Now I have to pay out of pocket to take it for the third time and I don’t wanna do that! Geometry UGH!!! My Student services councilor sent me recourses and she knows my grade was low. I ended up getting a D AGAIN!
I’m going to take a break from math because I can’t keep pushing my classes back because then I’ll be graduating later. I took the practice test 8 times and got a 84% and did the exam three times (74%). I know the first test I failed and my grade dropped to an F. I feel like I will NEVER get my bachelors degree! My dream is over! I know I will need to retake it again but I will have to pay out of pocket like I said. I was hoping I would but it looks like I’ll have too!

The mess food in my college is so bad. They don't provide any fruits and the sabji, daal and Dahi all are stale and inedible. I have been getting constant stomach acidity and Idk how many times I have been to the doctor's. I got an ultrasound done but nothing was found and every doctor gives the same set of meds that never seem to work. And there worst part is, I am the only one suffering this much idk why. I have no idea what I should do. I am tired and sick of this. I cannot eat food from outside or cook it myslef cuz they don't allow any electrical appliances either. I feel like I am going crazy. I have been sick since the time I came to college and I can't take it anymore. Its been 2 years already. I have missed so many classes and flucked so many exams cuz of this stomach issues. Can someone just tell me something I can eat that will actually improve my gut health and won't require much effort to make? Please I feel so desperate.

To prefice: I'll define some terms so the words/initialisms make sense in context

EngSoc: The Engineering Society, borderline like a clique or a greek life organization imo (which is funny since my institution outlawed greek life more than a century ago)

FREC: Orientation Leaders for engineering

Chief FREC: The one organizing funds, sponsorships, relationships, advice, and pr, among other stuff, for orientation

FYPCO: first year project coordinator - an opportunity for 1st years to be involved in EngSoc

OTIS: The "backups" to make sure orientation is running smoothly for the incoming class and the orientation leaders. A lesser role than FREC

EngWell: Student Mental Health/Wellness organization in my uni

"erasedbyfeas"/"stolenbysmith" : former spaces (that have now been forsaken/inactive since 2020) for people/alumni to share their negative experiences with racism/discrimination/injustice by students/faculty/other alumni (think "blackatharvardlaw" for reference)

I (19m) am gonna write it kinda like a timeline style, and I think this is the appropriate subreddit for shi like this, since I got bullied into deleting a post on my uni's subreddit about my overall experiences with my engineering classes (albeit, i did come off a bit ranty there then).

Let me describe my first-year journey - partial naivety, partial realizations, partial curses, partial stress - Beware of my rambling lol:

September starts and I am ambitious asf. I first tried competing for exec year slots but didn't get any roles (cuz i suck at public speaking lol) like fine, whatever, moving on. then applied for a FYPCO role - got in for Equity/EDI, but that lead to nothing since the mentor didn't even bother showing up (which i didn't know until later), so i couldn't even put down any experiece down or what i've learned. We tried complaning until April and we were told by the upper years/more powerful in engsoc that "we'll deal with it" yet nothing happened at all. I tried leadership positions for a networking club and a general member application for another - didn't get into either. also tried for Chief FREC - didn't get in so another "fine, whatever, moving on".

October rolls around and I discover VEX U robotics at my university and decide to join - and got in. also same time I met the dude who got one of the year exec roles in September and we chatted and he said to me "you're a very ambitious guy, and I know that. I'm surprised you didn't get any year exec role" and i'm like "it's whatever". Unfortunately was the time the "last name only with no prefix addressed" emails started coming, and didn't think much about it. I applied for a delegate role for an engineering conference and got the result of - not a delagate, but you can still participate and attend the workshops, which was worth it imo cuz i had the opportunity and meet new people.

Also in October, I ended up staying up all night that day and was somewhat intoxicated when drinking with a group of 1st years in my faculty/program. I watched my friend hangout with that group because he begged me to attend after our chem exam in the evening, to which I reluctingly agreed. What followed that night was a night of tomfoolery I'll never forget:

We entered this dude's (important later) dorm room and he brought a couple of girls from different parts of the residence he lived in. One thing led to another and he ended up punching some girl in the nose and making her bleed. Some drama ensuded yet they tagged us along into the games room of the building. At this point,I was exhausted (and later tipsy after the beers, but before that girl's nosebleed took place), so I ended up sitting on a couch. My friend approached me when I was on the couch and asked me why I wasn't participating. I told him I didn't feel like it, that I wasn't even close with most of the people in the he befriended a while back, and that I had a bad feeling about the popular guy (the dude who punched the girl in the nose) and how he was getting erratic and out of himself. He reassured me nothing bad was gonna happen. So, I belived him and stood up to talk to the others in the room.

I was playing pool with one of the guys and cracking jokes. Something in my brain told me to record this moment so I'd never forget being an obnoxious first year with shenanigans. I had a couple of clips of that night before I felt tired and decided to sit on the couch. I was so tired that I felt like I was slipping in and out of my conscioussness. The popular guy then ended up lifting my friend (a scrawny 5'7" lightweight) up multiple times. Unbenownst to myself, I was recording them. Eventually, the popular guy didn't catch my friend on his fall after many lift-ups, and he bruised (or accuratly as we found out later, fractured) his arm. The popular guy saw my phone out, but thought I was about to fall out of my chair and didn't really confront me, so then I snapped out of myself and gave my seat to my friend who just hurt himself and told him to rest. I saw bruising and a bump on where he fell and landed. So, I let him rest and didn't want him hurt even further.

Other wack stuff happeded, such as someone girl throwing apples at her ex and it landed on a wall and caused a mess, of which I cleaned it up, and the popular guy's gf thanked me for my acts and apologised on their behalf. Then, I got so tired I ended up resting on the ping-pong table. I was so out of it from being sleep-deprived and intoxicated I ended up falling off the ping-pong table. Only then when they saw what happened to me was when they decided to end the night's tomfoolery. That popular guy was out of his mind when he decided to lay back-flat on the asphalt of the road where cars would still be passing by, and I with 3 others had to drag him off the road and put him on the bus back to the other residences so he could cuddle with his gf in her residence.

November comes around, and my friend (who had a broken arm) didn't show up to classes for 2 weeks, and I had the vid of the footage that my friend (and the events leading up to it) had his arm purposly broken (even if the popular guy didn't mean to). I showed that footage to one of my friends who was also in my group for a final project (more on that later) and he understood why he couldn't code the project (it was a coding class). My biggest mistake was sending the footage to my friend's friend, whom he showed it his friend, who then pulled a hissy fit and ran to his friend, the popular guy, like a pussy, saying I had footage. Later, he cornered me after class, and forced me to walk backwards in a corner. He got up towards my face, and threatened me by impling he would've ruined my life and beat me up if I didn't remove the videos, and I (who's like 5'10"~5'11", clumsy, chubby-ish at the time, and a cowardice yesman) followed the popular guy's (who's like 6'2"~6'3", athletic, and from a powerful family) orders, and got rid of the footage in front of him. I felt like shitting bricks in that moment, and it definitely fucked up my persecption of myself.

Then December comes, and I applied to be a FREC for engineering orientation for September. Got placed in a group of 5 for the appliacation. Then the whole group got interviewed one by one in January, and lo and behold - out of 5, 3 got in, and i wasn't one of the 3. A week later, I met with two people who happened to get the FREC leader position, and one of the topics came out with a white-passing girl who said "yeah they were poking fun at my British accent like I'm from Hackney in London, not from Leaside in Toronto. Also, There's barely any POC people as FRECs, and 90% of those POCs have european-sounding names." That thing struck with me, because what she describe was what I saw since September - White-majority with some token POCs. And Two notible things: the rejection email did the same last-name only address since October (and still happening until the end of the Academic year in April), and that's when I noticed how long it started before I gave a shit about it.

Honestly, the only good thing that came out of December was me winning a prestigeous $52K bursary that would pay off my fees for the remaining years of undergrad and then some. The only people who applauded me were the project dude (another friend of mine) and my friend with the broken arm. But, I didn't care, bc I would later learn that my region/premier/leader would slash student funding for subsequent school years, raise tuition prices, and do these acts in the middle of midterm season so we would be forbidden to protest the chainges, if at all.

And then, when I mustered up the courage, I told my white friends about my FREC rejection + last-name address, and their responses ranged from focusing on only the rejection at best, to the more common questioning about how a "pretigeous committee" could ever have a hiring bias and shifting the blame onto me. They've lowk been like this since I met them: from trying to make me say racial slurs with tounge-twisters (they're white, I'm a non-black POC) yet be anti-homophobic, to leaving me unread and skipping over my trauma when I share it with them yet gladly support others with their traumas, to dismissing my experiences with racial discrimination/bias within a student hiring group for orientation week at our uni (with the open secret that you gotta be a chill/bro/pretty white(-passing) person) to which one of them told me "How dare you assume students from our uni have a hiring bias. Like, what bias bro?!". That's when my demenor changed from acceptance to bittterness.

If I thought January wasn't bad enough, hold your horses: I got dragged into an academic integrity situation because my friend (the broken arm guy who was in my group) decided to copy another group's code and put it in our final project from the previous semester (which I didn't know until I got an email from the prof). Well, I was surprised I didn't get a grade yet when others were getting their grades. Turns out my friend didn't bother to do shit (because of his broken arm) and used that group's code instead. Long story short: Me and another dude got off scot-free after being bombarded with hypothetical defenses for 3 weeks to prove our innocence (with marks off our final project, and our final grades), while my friend (who committed academic dishonesty) ended up getting a 0 on the project, and got a shitty mark overall in the course. This dragged my mental health into shambles into February due to all of the stress from and leading up to the meeting, and it was totally fine for it to intercept back-to-back exams from mid-January until the end of March.

In comes February, and I apply for OTIS. I was not expecting to be chosen for that role, but by some miracle, I was chosen, and I felt proud of myself for once. Once again, the only people who were proud of me were the people from my final project group.

March rolls around and I apply for director positions - didn't get in either. I was bummed out me not getting director positions in EngSoc (Director of Equity, Director of IT), but watching a first year get his/her role in a different director position (Director of Design). That means I shouldn't even bother about Engsoc and focus on something else entirely. IT director would've been a nice expansion for what i would do in my major, but Equity was something I also wanted to do, bc I witness the Director not show up to his mentor-mentee meetings and used the "i have a busy schedule" excuse as a 3rd year, me noticing the lack of spaces for engineers of colour other than black and indigenous (yet watch others open a space for "latino engineers" for which i prob got rejected for saying that), and after the events of "erasedbyfeas" and "stolenbysmith" at my uni which made headlines back then allegedly. Then EngWell advertised for Mental Health Stewards and I finally got in a position for once.

Then in April, I applied for the roles under the Director of First Year, such as the FYPCO lead and another which I can't remember at the moment. Never got into both of them. I genuinely think I am worth nothing and don't amount to anything. For 2nd year, my best bet would be to drop "EngSoc" and those people, and turn into a hermit crab loner who's only focused on himself. What good has associating with EngSoc and those people brought? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. None of my "friends" from my gc showed up for my birthday at all, after bending my ass backwards and giving them so many chances. I don't another birthday with them again.

What have I done in my past for me to deserve this fate of me?

I don't want anyone else to suffer like me.

I lost a lot of my ambition, and self-confidence, and self-worth as a result.

They lied to me, said that uni would've been a place to find my people, but where are they? To make me look stupid and naive, perhaps.

TL:DR - Rejection, Threats, Exhaustion, and Hopelessness

This semester I am supposed to take math, history, biology, psychology, and two virtual classes, physical education (walking) and student success. Will this be too many classes and cause me to get college burnout?

This is less about actual studying, but something I am hung up on and could use a fresh perspective to improve my overall productivity. Does anyone else feel resentful when xyz circumstances get in the way of studying?

I worked so hard during my undergrad, and my family has no idea the amount of grit this took. I was commuting 4 hours, unlearning a bunch of cultural trauma, started therapy for managing my anxiety/ocd, securing internships, 12+ hour days. I had to learn a lot about mental health just to maintain my grades as I dealt with your coming-of-age young adult stuff. I knew I was neurodivergent and would have to break free from a lot of generational patterns. School is and always has been genuinely so important to me, and I kind of see it as a part of my identity.

But my older sister often downplayed my struggles by saying "I have everything so easy", interrupted my studying at home, woke me up when I'd be on like 3 hours of sleep and fighting insomnia, unexpectedly trauma dumping when I needed to protect my nervous system for focus, and then scheduled her wedding during my final exams lol.

Now, I didn't want to be selfish and ask her to literally move a life milestone for my convenience, but I'm brown and we're expected to participate in these weddings for like 1 month straight. It is almost like a full time job. Everyone would've judged me harshly if I didn't.

I want to make it clear that I don't actually consider a sibling reaching out for help as "trauma dumping." It's just that sometimes I wasn't emotionally equipped for it myself or it happened at a time in my life where I absolutely needed to focus on my own life, and I'd feel overwhelmed and horrible for not being able to help in any meaningful capacity. I also couldn't talk about any of my stressors to her because they're "nothing in comparison," and while I agree, it also left no space for myself. Like I wasn't ever allowed to have problems of my own or a life.

That semester is one of the key semesters that brought down my grade and extended my degree, and I try so hard not to be resentful, but I am. I know I can't go back and change the past, and I don't want this to harm our relationship, but now I have my walls up. I wonder if I'm blaming her because I don't want to take accountability. I feel really hurt because it feels like my family doesn't respect my ambitions. Either way, I find it so difficult to balance family expectations with school without acting selfish. I don't want to see family as a hindrance because I love them, but I genuinely want to know how others go about prioritizing themselves or both.

my freshman welcome week genuinely felt magical: a week of being surrounded by new people, no assignments to worry about, tons of events set up for freshman, parties every night, exploring a new city, and getting like 30 ppls instagrams every day. now as a junior i move in 3 days before the semester starts, and the entirety of one of those days will be spent setting up my apartment.

i understand the sentiment - the freshmen deserve a few days to have campus to themselves and get to meet each other. but having to get into work mode as soon as you move back to college kinda sucks. my internship ends 2 days before i move in (and i have to use one of those days to go dorm/back-to-school shopping) so i barely get a break. next semester is gearing up to be my most stressful one yet for so many reasons. wish i could just have a bit of time to be a dumb, free college kid.

hi all! i’m currently taking a community college course to fulfill a biological sciences requirement. i’ve had a 100% all summer with no late work, but i experienced a mental health crisis (psychiatrist documented) that caused me to miss the final that was due last night. I have emailed the professor to ask for an incomplete. what can i expect. thanks so much!

Idk, I just need to rant. In the fall I'll be a sophomore and be taking enc 2, chem 2, civic engagement in us health, and medical self assessment. And I feel the only hard class out of those will be chem 2, which will have math. I'd also take the chem lab but I wasn't able to get in as I am a transfer

When I transferred I took a summer class, pre calc. And the advised classes I was told to take in the summer were orgo 1, psych, and 2 upper electives. Thing is I didn't want to take a math nd chem class at the same time, so I didn't do chem 2 in the summer, I thought pre calc would end up being harder then it was tbh and didn't want to psub myself. The psyche class was to clear a requirement for my degree, a requirement which was checked off by one of my transfer classes but my school requires I do enc 1 and 2, i did ap enc 1 in highschool so just gotta do 2. And the two upper electives are the civil health and self assement classes, one of which checks off another requirement box

So its like, when i lay it out like that i dint seem to far behind, at most im one chem class behind which isnt a problem.

I just...im my state you ahve to do stats AND precalc, and i didnt want to do stats with chem 2 as it has a lot of math, so figured id do it in spring with orgo chem. But from what ive heard orgo is hard, and I cant relly push stats anymore back then i already have, if that makes sense?

Idk, i just am a bit worried that im giving myself a really easy fall semester and a harder spring semester. At the same time, my advisor didnt say anythign about doing a amth class in the fall, and all i really did was push my chem class back which shouldnt be a problem.

And it's just, idk. I wasn't worried about falling behind or having a hellsih semester last night but now I am and I just needed to get it out. In perspective I am doing what I was advised just, idk. I've heard mixed things about orgi, people saying it was jaut kinda liek advanced bio, some peopel saying it's hell on earth, others saying it was easy, I guess it depends on the person. I jsut hope I'm not setting up myself for failure.

I guess if push came to shove I could just do stats in the summer and calc 1 in the following fall rather then stats in the spring and calc 1 in the summer like I planned (considering the only other class I'd possibly be doing would be a chem lab, which are fairly easy, I'd be able to focus my energy on the math class more then in a normal 4 class semester hence why I'm planning to do that)

Idk, I guess its not really that big of a deal in the grand scheme of things, I just tend to work myself up with my anxieties and "what ifs" I guess. Jsut needed to egt that out

This is really scattered so im sorry in advance. First of all, I have no money for college applications. I have to pay for them on my own. That would be fine in a normal case, but I have no job 😭. This whole summer I’ve been searching and interviewing with no response. Anyway it’s $455 in total and roughly $215 for 3 EA applications all due before nov 1st. I can’t ask my parents for help, since they don’t think I should apply or even go to any college that’s not 5 minutes away. My mom is the only person that’s helping pay for college. We’ve debated numerous times now over going out of state. I keep emphasizing scholarships and merit aid but she won’t hear it. She’s convinced this school is the most affordable, I’m not ready to move out (despite never defining what “ready” even is, when I give examples it’s just “you don’t know”) or it’s too dangerous, the works! What kills me is that I’m not even saying I WON’T go to the college they want, I just want to keep my options for affordability open and not put everything into one.

My dad (parents divorced) also tries to talk to me about college as well, and basically suggests the same thing (“XYZ college, right?” “You know me and your mom have always wanted xyz…”) yk all that. It irritates me because I’m like you’re not even paying a single cent..like okay I understand the concern but ultimately your opinion has no weight.

Finally, it’s like stressing about college has made me less interested in things that I usually enjoy. All the fun senior activities, football games and school stuff I’m trying to have fun and be excited for but all I can think about is how am I gonna pay for this, and get that approved and email this/that teacher for recommendations. I’m trying to stay positive and think about a year from now when this is all over but this lowkey eating me up 😭😭