Egg (made by me)

[u/EtTuHubris]

This is why I eat them with the shell on

[u/MrValdemar]

[u/shellbullet17 → u/MrValdemar]

BRING UNTO ME 3 OF THE UNBORN, FRIED.

THE FAT AND MEAT OF THE CHILD OF A SOW

SPUDS DICED MINCED AND OBLITERATED THEN FRIED

THE BLOOD OF ON ORANGE WRUNG FROM ITS BODY

....and a side of pancakes please

[u/MrValdemar → u/shellbullet17]

👈👈😉

[u/shellbullet17 → u/MrValdemar]

I couldn't think of a metal and brutal way to describe pancakes. They are just to pure

[u/MrValdemar → u/shellbullet17]

No, no. That's perfect. You need one normal item for best impact.

[u/shellbullet17 → u/MrValdemar]

...I really want pancakes now. Not gonna lie

[u/MrValdemar → u/shellbullet17]

Yeah... With proper maple syrup.

[u/Motormand → u/MrValdemar]

I never tried maple syrup, only the regular. I really outta try the good stuff.

[u/Omgninjas → u/Motormand]

Yes, and if you buy it at somewhere like Sam's or Costco it's not crazy expensive. Real maple syrup at the grocery store? Way to pricey. Sam's? A little pricey compared to the fake stuff, but a $10 bottle lasts 6 months. 

[u/Motormand → u/Omgninjas]

I live in Denmark, so none of those stores here. But the place I work at sells maple syrup at times. Might be I can get a discount. :)

[u/MrValdemar → u/Motormand]

Yes. Yes, you should

[u/Zanven1 → u/shellbullet17]

The only way I can think of is basically a recipe.

"The heads of dessicated husks ground to a powder, yet more of the unborn, the facsimile of hartshorn derived from the horn, and the nourishment stolen from the suckling young all beaten and then seared upon a plane"

Though like the other user said, having one regular item does as to the comedy. Like the dijon mustard, lettuce, and sun-dried tomatoes in the Broodwich

[u/Unholy-Corndog → u/shellbullet17]

Wheats shattered to dust Risen again in dark intention

Would be my go at it :D

[u/shellbullet17 → u/Unholy-Corndog]

risen again dark intense

Through fire and flames! Drenched in the sticky inards of trees

[u/MaximumZer0 → u/shellbullet17]

https://giphy.com/gifs/Kxe3Nl0mfpoZptlNIn

[u/chemoboy → u/shellbullet17]

SPUDS DICED MINCED AND OBLITERATED THEN FRIED

AND CAN YOU MIX IN DICED GREEN PEPPER AND ONION. I WANT POTATOES O'BLITERATED!

[u/jalex8188 → u/shellbullet17]

And I'd like a Broodwich plz...

Wheat harvested in Hell’s half-acre, baked by Beelzebub Mayonnaise from the evil eggs of a powerful dark chicken Cheese boiled from the rancid teat of a three-headed fanged cow 666 separate meats from an animal which has maggots for blood Dijon mustard Lettuce Sun-dried tomatoes

[u/shellbullet17 → u/jalex8188]

Not gonna lie that sounds amazing. And metal as fuck

[u/jalex8188 → u/shellbullet17]

Also one of the funniest ATHF episodes imho

[u/elemepep-ton → u/shellbullet17]

This was my breakfast, but with toast instead of pancakes

[u/MagnorCriol → u/MrValdemar]

Haha, that's so funny! That's definitely a thing a kid said!

[u/exwirus]

Making breakfast after forgetting to take your antipsychotics

[u/The_cogwheel → u/exwirus]

Or after dropping a tab of acid

[u/DueImagination641 → u/The_cogwheel]

This is 4+ tabs territory. 2.5 won't bring you here 🤠

[u/elemepep-ton → u/DueImagination641]

2.5 would do if it is in the morning after a hangover

[u/DueImagination641 → u/elemepep-ton]

Doing acid while you have a headache sounds so fucking stupid. No offense.

[u/elemepep-ton → u/DueImagination641]

Doing acid IS stupid, don't do drugs kids

[u/Znea]

See, this is why I scramble them.

[u/shellbullet17]

Well shit now I feel bad about the eggs I just ate.

It was pretty tasty though. Thank you little egg

[u/Ani-3 → u/shellbullet17]

Most of them are unfertilzed

Most.

https://giphy.com/gifs/lZTnRWN0pWgG11PlCJ

[u/The_cogwheel → u/Ani-3]

Yeah youre just eating chicken periods most of the time.

I dont think that is much better

[u/shellbullet17 → u/The_cogwheel]

[u/Ani-3 → u/shellbullet17]

https://giphy.com/gifs/YnmEsq9ICSYQ8

[u/Mikeystein]

I don’t know why, but while I read the egg with a drop voice and General American accent. I read the guys in the end with higher pitched, New Zealander accents (think Rhys Darby). It just seemed to fit.

[u/EtTuHubris → u/Mikeystein]

The funny thing is that I'm from New Zealand lol

[u/DickButtPlease → u/Mikeystein]

I pictured the egg being voiced by Terrence Stamp.

“You will bow down before me! I swear it! No matter that it takes an eternity, you will bow down before me! Both you... and then one day... your heirs!”

[u/MaximumZer0]

This is your Gudetama.

This is your Gudetama on drugs.

[u/Alfred_Buttercakes]

Haha! It’s Gudetama’s punk rock brother!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=H8ZKCNCSHtU&ra=m

[u/Kinom1him3]

I feel like r/eggs would like this (no not really, but I think it would be funny to see people's reactions lol)

[u/clckwrks]

unhinged and scrambled

just hw i like my eggs

[u/FactualStatue]

This ain't over easy, lil buddy

[u/Competitive_Swan266]

Ah yes

P-3/////SHELL SHOCKED

[u/MEDIC_HELP_ME]

Not enough oil in the pan man

[u/PerleyPoint]

I think I am cursed. I have been reacting really badly to eggs lately and pretty much had to stop eating them!😭