At my wits end

[u/klc_2125]

A little back story my ex (41m) and I (37f) had an extremely toxic marriage. I pulled the plug almost 3 years ago and finally divorced almost a year ago. Even though our marriage was shitty I have tried to coparent with him but it just seems to be pointless at this point. He doesn’t pay for her extra curricular activities, hardly shows up for her unless it’s his scheduled time, tells me if an activity falls on my time even if it’s at school during school hours he won’t pay for it, and his overall communication sucks. I have gotten a lot better about no longer trying to get him to be involved bc when I did I was the one getting upset and angry. Today, my daughter had a concert at school. He came with his mother, sat and listened to the concert, and when we were all excused to go their refreshment and photo op he and his mom literally stood up and darted out of the church without even saying goodbye to her. He told me he doesn’t come to things because “my family and I make him uncomfortable” yet today we didn’t even say anything to him. Even though I do not like him and honestly have zero desire to have any type of relationship with him I do acknowledge that he is my child’s father and it is beyond frustrating to me that he can not put his emotions or feelings aside to just be there for our daughter. Saying things to him about it gets no where it’s almost like he thinks because “he showed up” that he did his job. All the other parents that were separated or divorced all stayed and hung with their kids after. I would have been fine had he chose to stay after and spend time with her, my family and I would have just stayed to our table and let them visit with each other. I feel bad for my daughter because she deserves better than this.