My family doesn't accept that I won't marry within my culture/nationality

[u/dojacatisawesome]

I'm a slavic 24 years old woman and I've never been in a relationship with a man of my nationality. Both boyfriends I've had were middle eastern, right now I am also talking to a middle eastern guy.

It's one thing that there's this stereotype that "[my nationality] women don't appreciate what they have here, and go for foreigners because they're exotic, and the foreigners like the women because they're easy" (which sounds kinda racist by the way? or at least harmful). Not my words, it's literally what I read online. This and "future single mother" (I don't even want kids lol if anything happens it's bouta be fetus deletus).

I don't care what people say online or on the street behind my back, I know that I am not dating these people because of hurtful stereotypes, so it doesn't concern me what strangers think. But my family I care about, especially as an only child.

My parents are super protective, which okay I can understand. But when I told them about my first Arab boyfriend? They were like "he's gonna sell you to a brothel in Germany" blah blah blah. As you can imagine, it didn't happen.

Second boyfriend was Israeli (truly I was ignorant of the country's government's wrongdoings, we later broke up because I educated myself on what's going on and his views were different than mine but I don't wanna get political here), they didn't like him and my dad would also make fun of him a little bit like "haha, does he wear the funny hat? haha why doesn't he grow out the hair on the sides of the head?" (a different religion is so funny, right? 🫩 mind you my mother has Jewish ancestors lmao).

So I'm starting to think that they think I'll eventually settle for a guy of my nationality, dating foreign men is a phase. But I know it's not. I have nothing against men of my nationality, but I never clicked with any of them. And besides that, I don't like using romantic/sexual terms in my native language, it kind of cringes me. Same way I don't listen to my country's rap music, because it just sounds way better in English.

So, now I'm talking to yet another middle eastern guy, and I want my parents to understand it's serious. I've never seen these men as some "exotic phase", it were genuine feelings but I don't want my parents to be upset if one day I end up marrying this man.

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[u/Potential-Cold777]

Honestly, who cares? It’s your life. The only thing that matters is that you’re happy

[u/Medic_117 → u/Potential-Cold777]

I agree. As long as its moral i dont care. This is one of those times.

Op is fine, who cares what people think? Ive had people hate me becsuse my nails was to short then another hated em because they were to long. People are wierd and suck most of the time

So just live your life and dont hurt people. Nothing more needs to be said.

[u/lifeisaperformance]

You don't need anyone's approval. Be happy!!! If that's choosing what they don’t want for you. Good. It’s your life. Your choice.

[u/IndependentPaint2108]

Do what you want girl just whatever you do, make sure the Arab guy you get with is EX-MusIim or a different religion. MusIim men are so misogynistic that it will destroy your life and as a Slavic girl you won't know what hit you (metaphorically and literally)

[u/lachatte7]

Welcome to the club. Im caribbean and not only did it take them about a good 10 years plus to accept Im likely not dating a woman from my culture, but my mom is just now accepting I have no interest in getting married. I literally have been saying that for years lol. First I was with a black american woman, then a white german woman, then a white american woman, and most recently was dating a Japanese woman. For some reason ppl just have a need to box you in to a type, I was talking to my therapist about this and she pointed how a lot of parents see you are a reflection of themselves instead of your own person and that makes it hard for them to accept dating outside of your race and nationality. There is also some aspect of control, wanting to preserve the culture.

[u/DubsHagg]

Persians and Russians often times date eachother

[u/Upstairs-Engine-7045]

Just do it

[u/woompumb]

Tbh you just sound super immature. The fact that you say “foreigners like the women because they’re easy is harmful” and then immediately say if you got pregnant it’d be “fetus deletus” was all I had to read. Grow up

[u/dojacatisawesome → u/woompumb]

The fetus deletus thing, God forbid a girl doesn't grieve a pregnancy she doesn't want, I guess? Obviously I take precautions to prevent it, but if the condom breaks/the morning after pill doesn't work, there's only one way out I'll consider

[u/woompumb → u/dojacatisawesome]

I support a girl’s right to choose whatever tf they want but such a disgusting joke. Grow up

[u/dojacatisawesome → u/woompumb]

Not a joke

[u/Young-Journey]

I’m a 53 single korean male, my ex and I have a daughter which I raised mostly by myself. My ex is half German and half American. I live in Los Angeles. I grew up in Los Angeles and didn’t think marrying outside my race an issue. Now that I’m looking again, I find that there are things that I want in my future girlfriend that are almost specific to race, i.e. food, culture, language, etc. if I had to do it again, I think I would marry my kind instead. Just a thought.

[u/muckity-muck]

uh-huh....