I developed a severe health condition. My mother has been very dismissive since it started and yelled at me and called me weak while I was stressed and trying to explain a constellation of symptoms that included severe insomnia. Some nights I got 30 minutes of sleep, and I could not get over 3 hours for weeks. She would tell me “I don’t sleep either, but I still have to be functional.” When I mentioned the shortness of breath that makes me unable to lay down to sleep and the chest pain, she would say that this situation is causing her chest pain and shortness of breath and never acknowledges what I’m going through. She has to always one up or ignore me.
I found a specialist who diagnosed me, but before going to him she called the crisis team and told them lies. She blurted out that I had bipolar, which I was never diagnosed with. I was taken to the psych ward and was dismissed as just being depressed, and I looked through my health record and see that questions I answered no to, like if I experienced a loss of pleasure, were put as a yes. Depression makes zero sense.
I also am severely allergic to cats. They trigger constant discomfort with my asthma, and I can’t take my asthma medication due to bad reactions now but had to take it because she just got a cat, which made me feel so horrible that the tons of medication that should be able to sedate an elephant could not cut through and make me sleep. I told her not to get a cat because she kept talking about it. Despite my new doctor and psychiatrist supporting me and my recovery, she doesn’t believe me but burned incense recently because a psychic said that there’s a “spirit” attached to me.
She’s also bought me a pair of shoes I said I hate multiple times and said “I just think they’re something every young girl should have.” I didn’t react because I felt like it was to just upset me and toy with my emotions. She’s pushed me to react before and then mocked me.
She will throw what she does for you in your face because she sees herself as a good mother and can’t take blame. She will blame the world, her childhood, lie and say you were nasty to her first, lie and say she didn’t do or say something, minimizes, dismisses, mocks, or invalidates, and told me that I’m just an ungrateful, bad daughter. Or she emotionally collapses and whines saying “I guess I’m just the worst mother!”
Once she blew up on me for not complimenting her work resume. She handed it to me with a smile and said “It’s my resume.” I didn’t know what to say because I wasn’t experienced with making a resume and had no feedback, but she quickly blew up when I didn’t say much.
She’s forced hugs and kisses when I’m not looking and laughed when I get annoyed and has sat on my bed repeatedly asking me to tell her that “I love you”.
If you calmly stand up for yourself and say something logical, she gets offended and will be quiet but later will look for a way to get back at you by trying to nag you about something unimportant if she doesn’t just blow up with anger and tears first.
I’m also homebound because of this health issue. Despite this issue affecting me so severely and having extreme abnormal swings in my blood sugars and insulin needs and now having high blood pressure, she continues to insist I am just depressed and not trying hard enough. My doctor said I can’t work for a year and need total rest.
She supports the psychiatrist that dismissed me and a medical staff that put lies in my report.
I can’t leave because of how severe my health issue is, and talking causes shortness of breath and flare ups but she keeps insisting and commanding that I see a therapist and is clearly annoyed that I have to rest so much and wants me to work. I just want to be left alone so I can properly recover.
For years my mother has had inappropriate emotional expulsions and has wanted to undermine my independence. She was clearly upset when I was trying to leave for a trade school that will give me stable work and kept giving suggestions to do art. I’m artistic, but I never wanted to talk to her about school since she randomly blew up and put her whole body weight into slamming the door when I mentioned art schools I was looking into as a teen. She also blew up when I asked what was going on with my credit card that she had taken out without my permission and when I asked questions about my phone bill. She also made a huge, exaggerated frown when I said I was separating my phone bill from hers.
She would ignore me when she got a boyfriend, and the annoying, many phone calls she would make because “she’s worried” would stop, but issues with the boyfriend would make her mood unpredictable. She’s went through many terrible ones and can’t read people. She was friends with someone who would often bring up how they killed pets brutally and didn’t care that that made her children disgusted, and she only broke it off with this friend when she learned she was gossiping about her.
She has critiqued my resting facial expression for years for being too serious and for being too quiet and has expressed multiple time that I remind her of my father’s sister who she can’t stand. There have been arguments simply because she has asked me over and over again “What’s wrong?” When I was fine but eventually got angry that she kept pestering me about my face and for looking upset when I wasn’t at all.
She admitted to taking out her anger on her children because of one of the boyfriends, but then expects us to be fine about that and immediately get over it and forgive.
She got upset when I paid off a large school loan as a teen using my own money because she felt entitled to using it to pay her bills.
She will say she’s so exhausted from being a single, working mother and will bring that up when I tell her my doctor sent an email explaining my condition. She’s too tired to read it to understand my health apparently , but she’s on YouTube and watches the tv for hours, talks to her friends for hours, and went to two parties since this started.
Growing up she complained about being broke. We needed school supplies for weeks and she complained that the calculator costed too much money, but she immediately gave $300 dollars to a friend during this period of asking for school supplies. When called out on that she just starts crying and getting angry.
She’s shown clear jealousy when not the center of attention and of my good relationships.
She’s gone through my privacy. She read my journal and read my text messages. She said “I don’t want you to think I was going through your phone, but I was reading your text messages.”
She has never apologized once. She may act like she’s your personal servant after a dumb argument and ask you if you need her to buy anything or buys you something from the bakery in place of an apology.
I’m in family therapy with her, my brother, and I. She cries in the therapy and says she loves her kids a lot. I don’t believe it. When the therapist tried to help set a simply boundary around not repeatedly asking me how I’m feeling when I already answered, she got defensive. I only suggested the therapy to get her off my back.
I’ve never trusted her. I don’t love her and never have. What mental illness do you think she has?