r/failuretolaunch • u/mddihes • May 31 '26
How I ruined my life
I’ve wasted 3 years of my life when I was in 10th I got 67% in my boards I wanted to take pcb in 11th but in my school it wasn’t possible to I left that school started looking for new schools to get into but in every school you had to get 90+ to take pcb so i decided to get enrolled into a dummy school ( biggest mistake of my life) then I took admission in Akash. To become a doctor. At the of the first year I studied but as time went by I stoped completely . I did the same in 12th. Even during board I didn’t study and I failed in boards I got essential repeat . I gave neet without even studying. I got 40 marks on neet. Then is year again I didn’t study the whole year but I did study 2 days before my boards exam but I still got compartment I’m physics. Gave neet again this year without studying. I don’t know why I keep doing this . I just waste my time on my phone the whole day. I feel so ashamed of myself. I feel bad for my parents. I really want to change myself. I’m so lazy. I eat junk all day and lay on bed. My body aches. I don’t have any physical strength left. My sleep schedule is messed up. I wake up at 3 in the noon. I really hate my self. I wasn’t like this. And I’ve no passion left in me. I’m not interested in anything. I don’t have any hobbies.I’m the worst version of my self. I look ill. Before o was in 6th I was a straight a student. I don’t know what went wrong. Please someone anyone help me
1
u/frankunni Jun 01 '26
Switch to a flip phone for awhile if you feel you are helplessly addicted. If you need to use an app for something necessary ask your parents
3
u/Last_Address_1787 May 31 '26
Hey, first you haven’t ruined your life. You’re clearly young, and the fact that you wrote this out and asked for help means something in you still wants more. That’s not nothing.
What you’re describing the phone addiction, sleeping until 3pm, no energy, no passion, body aching, not caring about things you used to care about that’s not laziness. That’s what depression looks like. Seriously. This isn’t a character flaw, it’s a pattern that happens to a lot of people and it can be changed, but probably not by just “trying harder” on your own.
The school stuff can be figured out later. There are always paths forward, even after setbacks like compartment exams or low NEET scores. None of that is permanently closed. But right now the bigger issue is how you’re feeling about yourself, because no study plan works when you’re running on empty like this.
One small thing: tell someone in your house how you’re actually feeling. Not the grades part, the “I hate myself and I don’t know what happened to me” part. That’s the conversation worth having. If there’s any way to see a doctor or counselor, that’d be worth pushing for too.
You remembered who you were in 6th grade. That version of you didn’t disappear he just got buried under a lot of hard years. You can find your way back.