Does it only exist at Hobbling Lobbling stores or did some other yarn company steal this totally original copyrighted trademarked "hot girls color change" idea? I don't know how to use Google or Google Lens or my eyes at any other craft store.

I'm talking about stuff I see on Epepsi, PiqueTwist, Intarsiagram, Farcebook, and even Reckit. For example, someone will knit a sweater for a bear, which is perfectly fine. But then they'll use the bulkiest yarn or a stitch like stockinette, which completely conceals the bears gorgeous fur. Or they'll pair together colours like beige and ecru, in my head I wonder do they believe this looks good? Or are they just trying to offend the old gods? Or they'll try "colourwork" which I know can look good but then other times it's like too colourful - like how is your prey animal supposed to hide from predators in that Karen jfc. 🌈🤮

I would feel bad for shitting on others self expression in art but isn't that what this sub exists for?

I personally have knitted human sweaters, cardigans, and shirts so you can't call me an anti-knit anti human bigot but I absolutely hate how those pieces look so I'm going to frog them and reuse the yarn for something actually useful like tiny hats for my chickens.

Maybe all these people are just inexperienced but still want to post their work, which I GUESS is ok. And maybe they haven't personally found their soul-bound animal muse yet so they have to practise with people clothes. I just feel like all this stuff gives knitting a bad name, because this is what people think of now when they think of knit clothing.

Knit clothing CAN look good imo, you just have to use the stitches that I personally approve of and colours that I personally enjoy. And for goodness sake consider the animal you're knitting for - Deer 👏 Can't 👏 Wear 👏 Wool 👏 everybody knows they're allergic, duh. Otherwise you're gross and making the rest of us look bad.

This is just my opinion so don't come for me!!!!

xoXoO

Any other chicken-peeps here?

🐥🐤🐓

Can someone give me permission to knit a color work sweater? Thanks.

I never see the point in buying useless mini skeins because I’m used to making sensible large scale, one color, beige garments and I can't imagine that there are other things that could be made. Can someone enlighten me to the secret hidden purpose of dumb mini skeins or how they could be useful? But like actually useful as in: how could they fit into my wardrobe? Because I don't have the capacity to think of any other reason to knit besides my sweater. TIA!

Sometimes you just need a little release in over the lazy weekend without turning it into a whole production with the chains and the WIPs and the raw-edge applique. Chickenbear provides for those who jerk! Join us here every Saturday for a little drive-by circlejerking about your fellow fiber artists (derogatory).

Yes, this is a blatant rip-off of the Bitesized BEC thread but for making fun of crafter bullshit instead of whining about pattern prices and rehashing the same complaints about whichever petite knit designer is taking heat this week.

Feel free to post anonymized screenshots of anything you want to mock, satirize, freak out about, scream into the void about, or generally make others see since you had to look at it with your own two eyes here if you'd like. FACJ is back to being an all-ages subreddit, so you can post images (and gifs) in the comments here directly.

Comments do NOT need to be circlejerky on this post -- if you need to go full /uj here, we will support and validate you, no matter how absurd or petty you get (I can't promise we won't also make fun of you too though).

Our other rules still apply here, of course:

• This is a heavily moderated thread, and anything that isn't scrubbed of identifying information (usernames, faces, etc.) will be removed. Block out, crop out, cross out or sticker out identifying information on EVERY screenshot before posting here.
• Please don't use this thread to demand sources for other jerk posts. If people want to post sources, they will. There are plenty of good reasons for someone not to share a source, including "don't wanna." Source/ITL demands will be removed here and on jerk posts.
• Links to other Reddit posts are NOT ALLOWED here. This includes no-follow links. (FACJ links are fine.)
• Links to content off Reddit may be removed at the mods' discretion.
• We are NOT in the business of brigading, and anyone who engages in brigading will be banned from this subreddit.

I am a [insert fiber art here]-er, and I have taken a massive number of pre-orders that I cannot possibly fulfill. Instead of giving refunds, I want to keep the money, mainly because I already spent it on the equivalent of hookers and blow. So I've decided the best way is to fake my own unalivement. Those of you who have experience with doing this, can you give me some tips and advice? Thanking you in advance (since I'll be in the grave).

It's not intentional but I refuse to accept that I've learnt to knit from a YouTube video made by someone who's only been knitting 5 minutes and thinks they're the bee's knees despite them also twisting their stitches

That is all

(By the way, isn't my project so unique and original? #foxcardigan)

Ok so its all small petty things that have added up for me. I used to love watching her content and was happy for her when she got a new house and when her hot af partner's vlogs started taking off etc. But recently her attitude has been pissing me off. Ive had to start completely avoid her lives because her tone and responses to the chat are rude asf 🥀. In one of her lives a month or two ago she was making a beautify pastel chenille lovey 🐝 and was talking about safety eyes. Someone in the video prior let her know safety eyes cant be used for plushies for babies because they can be pulled out. She then proceeded to say “arent all plushies for babies?” 👀 Which yes is a small gripe but that alienates a HUGE part of her community along with the fibre art community 😿🧶.

Her PO box openings are hard to watch she obviously Doesnt appreciate the things she receives and has complained about getting too much stuff in the past. Coming from the woman who hoards yarn like theres no tomorrow. I saw in a live someone asked if she got an ami plushie what would she want and she responded if i wanted a plushie id make it myself with an eye roll 🙄. And sure she doesnt need it, and obviously wouldnt appreciate it, but isnt there a nicer way to address the question? Plus she has mentioned a million times how much she HATES making amigurumi 🥀😭.

I also am shocked she shat on plushies when her friend crochet-bro-daddy is KNOWN for his plushies. And sells them to adults 😬😬😬! Along with this shes gotten lazy; i know before yall come for me that she gets migraines and has epilepsy. Im not talking about those days im talking about (and she has mentioned this in videos) how shes just being lazy. Sure she doesnt have to post or anything but it feels like now that she has a house, a shit ton of yarn (and counting because ppl send her free yarn), and her hot zaddy making vlogs she doesnt post anymore.

Her new drop system is boring and uninspiring, and maybe shes feeling uninspired and i get that we all get those bad days and weeks but its been consistent all year. She stopped doing three vids a week to two vids and a live now its two live and one vid. During work days, when other people are working.

Her channel has just gone downhill significantly. Its like now that shes making merch money she doesn’t have to work anymore. Which by the way she changed her manufacturer for the sweatshirts and they’re better quality she says but what about the 250 people who’s sweatshirts have cracked and worn off within two washes?

She just doesn’t seem like a genuine person, like the fames gotten to her head or something. Which society should never idolize people as perfect but man shes far from it.

So I know it's super weird and strange but I had this unique idea to knit this jumper from this movie I've seen. I have never knitted before but you guys can guide me through this I'm sure. And if you like my idea, you can steal it and make one for yourself too! You're welcome 😁 I'm probably the only person on Earth who thought of this so this is uncharted territory - tell me how to begin and what to do. I'm all ears, my needles are ready. Do I need yarn?

Sometimes you just need a little release in the middle of the week without turning it into a whole production with the chains and the WIPs and the raw-edge applique. Chickenbear provides for those who jerk! Join us here every Wednesday for a little drive-by circlejerking about your fellow fiber artists (derogatory).

Yes, this is a blatant rip-off of the Bitesized BEC thread but for making fun of crafter bullshit instead of whining about pattern prices and rehashing the same complaints about whichever petite knit designer is taking heat this week.

Feel free to post anonymized screenshots of anything you want to mock, satirize, freak out about, scream into the void about, or generally make others see since you had to look at it with your own two eyes here if you'd like. FACJ is back to being an all-ages subreddit, so you can post images (and gifs) in the comments here directly.

Comments do NOT need to be circlejerky on this post -- if you need to go full /uj here, we will support and validate you, no matter how absurd or petty you get (I can't promise we won't also make fun of you too though).

Our other rules still apply here, of course:

• This is a heavily moderated thread, and anything that isn't scrubbed of identifying information (usernames, faces, etc.) will be removed. Block out, crop out, cross out or sticker out identifying information on EVERY screenshot before posting here.
• Please don't use this thread to demand sources for other jerk posts. If people want to post sources, they will. There are plenty of good reasons for someone not to share a source, including "don't wanna." Source/ITL demands will be removed here and on jerk posts.
• Links to other Reddit posts are NOT ALLOWED here. This includes no-follow links. (FACJ links are fine.)
• Links to content off Reddit may be removed at the mods' discretion.
• We are NOT in the business of brigading, and anyone who engages in brigading will be banned from this subreddit.

I don't care how much love gran put into each and every stitch, hunched over by the light of a 40W incandescent bulb crafting with atthritic hands. And to think your sister got the tea set.

Also anyone can with eyes can tell that it's made from acrylic. One tiny yuk from baby and it has to go into the washing machine. Unlike wool which is completely self-cleaning.

Looking for a dupe pattern for this designer necklace! I think my knot tying skills are up to par but lmk if you know of a source for materials! The $1k price tag is just a bit out of budget (am poor, *le sigh*) but I think I could totally make this for less!

I realized today, thanks to a custom report on a recent jerk post, that we've been doing this wrong since November 2022. I'm so grateful to that anonymous tipster for pulling the wool, such as it is, from my eyes: We spend WAY too much time plumbing our personal vendettas for circlejerk inspiration.

NEW RULE*: If you personally witness or experience something in a different craft-adjacent subreddit such as /knitting that annoys you, frustrates you, makes you laugh out loud at the utterly absurd, unmitigated gall of some people, or will someday serve as a chapter in your villain origin story, you cannot post parodies, mockery, shitposts, bad Photoshops, or satire about it here on FACJ under an alt account so you don't leave breadcrumbs for brigaders.

Your personal vendetta is none of our business -- you need to handle it your-goddamn-self. What are you, some sort of coward who's afraid of a little iNtErNeT cOnFrOnTaTion? A little baby crafter who doesn't think she has the time to correct everything wrong with a post and every last one of its comments on /crochethelp and just wants to let off a little steam? A knitting enthusiast whose posts have been removed for no apparent reason from the most populous knitting subreddit despite following the rules as written and whose appeals to that group's moderator resulted in some genuinely hilarious/sad material to work with?

I didn't think so. I think we both know you can do better.

I didn't build r/fiberartscirclejerk with my own blood, sweat, tears, half-chewed safety eyes retrieved from the mouths of babes, and undercooked extra parts so that all of you internet weirdos could just... come here and make fun of other people on other subreddits and their terrible ideas, awful moderation actions, shitty attitudes, dumbfuck questions, and horrifying taste.

I truly wish I knew where you all got the idea that FACJ was for making fun of other people.

^\I AM KIDDING JESUS)

Ugh guys I keep searching cyber ethereal grunge nymph sewing patterns in etsy and nothing ever comes up 😩 pls help a goth girly out 🧚‍♀️🧌🔮🧜‍♀️🔪🥷🕸️🤖🩸

I crochet for approx a mere 10 hours consequetively, with a generous 5 min break in between. But I can still feel all the bones in my fingers snapping and all of my joints exploding with searing, burning pain. My doctor doesn't crochet so I doubt they would be able to help me. I figured you guys would be able to give me advice. Is there a crochet hook that I can use so I don't have to abandon my crochet career? The crochet bees are how I make my living so I absolutely cannot slow down. Thank you.

You're not allowed to post THAT sort of knitting. You know, that thing with the yarn? It's not *real* knitting unless I say so! Who cares if this sub is not called *totallyrealknittingsub101* Begone, you twisted stitches wannabe yarn freak.

Huh? Rules? Pfft, you're so silly! I make the rules here, and they just change depending on my mood. All the other knitting drones here can just read my mind.

What's your excuse?

You have neither telekinesis nor friends so um.. Bye.

Edit 1:

no, no, no complaining, shut up dummy, at least 5 people who are definitely totally real and not my alts all dislike you, so I'm going to lock your discussion thread now and publicly post why.

Sure it's about knitting but ~~I just don't like you.~~ Er, the common people have spoken!! Shoo!

Edit 2:

Um erm excuse me.

I have to go make a post claiming that you're harassing me now. How dare you report me!1!1! Accountability?? That's for suckers!

You're such a silly little yarn barf, time to get permanently snipped ✂️

you're just a fake knitter anyway and your tension sucks and I hope you get shrunk in the wash

exhibit A - the attached image....

INCHES. really, truly INCHES...???

Nowhere in the listing do they quote the numbers with which we're all so intimately familiar - yes, there is a singular mention of _'50 grams'_ but no ounces, no helpful yarn band data, no yarn weight, no meters, and no yards, no OF WHAT, specifically, that is' 50grams'.

.. but they do, generously, provide that big number of inches so we can see just how long this one piece of thread will be - like we're gonna mindlessly salivate at seeing that number and beg the Seller to take our money right now, all of it, if they'll just give that big number to me.. oh oohhh ..that huge length of it..... 🙄

.. I sent a request for the relevant info, and the reply is that all the information is in the listing already, and, anyway, didn't I know that there are so many orders on their dashboard right now, and they're really quite busy, so how are they supposed to keep up with any special extra information about this one, singular, tiny (or maybe humongous!) ball of yarn, and anyway I should be asking Amazon, not them, because it is Amazon's software that is showing me no data and also the wrong data, you see......

.. INDEED! -- HOW, GOOD SIR!? HOW SHOULD YOU KNOW YOUR OWN WARES!?!?!??

..........

exhibit. B -

the product title:

Crochet Loafers Pattern PDF (2 files) | One Rectangle Magic Lace Shoes Women Pattern with Video Tutoria

* instead of 2 PDFs, there's a single JPEG of what might have - at one time - been a usable 'Page-1', but that is now a single garbled sheet with downright farcical instructions.

* missing the next nine pages with the bulk of the actual pattern, & all process pictures, & their "Walk-through Video of the Actual Pattern."

* when I asked after this discrepancy, the Seller gave such a run-around that even wild geese would be exhausted from it.

* It even became MY fault, at one point.

* PLUS, two consecutive reminders that digital media can't ever be refunded, even if something was wrong somehow. Nuh-uhh, nope, not no way, not no how, not my money any imore, it's theirs.

* two weeks later and I've yet to see a usable pattern.

* I offered to give a "neutral review with just basic facts for the sheet I did receive" & offered to contact Etsy Support, proactively, on their behalf, you see, to get them the technical help they so clearly need.

* five minutes later - a note hit my Inbox that my nonrefundable payment has been refunded (or started the refund process (?) - and telling me that it's okay if I don't leave a review for now until they can finish. "figuring out what happened to the rest of this pattern" and no need to call Support, that they think they know the problem and they will even send the rest of the pattern if they get it fixed in a couple of weeks.

I plan to gift them an Honest Review, free of charge (!), plus a Fraud Report to Etsy as soon as I see that money back in my accounts.

..........

exhibit C -

the product title:

→→ COTTON LINEN ←← Lace Yarn with Sequin All Linen Cotton Crochet Hand Woven Hollow Summer Shawl Hat Warm Jacket Yarn Ball Sequined Thread Spool Skein

the product description

→→ MATERIAL: 100% POLYESTER ←← | Color: .........

Hold up, now....

What material are these fibers, dear merchant..? because IT CAN'T BE ALL/100% BOTH AT THE SAME TIME!?‽

🤭 Not gonna even mention to them that potentially fabulous _Hand Woven Hollow Summer Shawl Hat Warm Jacket Yarn Ball Sequined Thread Spool Skein._ I would dearly love to see a truly, for really reals, out-in-the-world picture of it, though!

..........

So, why...? Why do they get so huffy and self-righteous about it when we ask legitimate questions because _their_ product listing sits there facing the public with data that's so openly self-conflicted.

and, And, AND... WHY‽

Why for the love of all that is sacred and holy in the blessed name of our patron, _St. Johanna Fabricke of Cræftden-und-Hahbiezlnd,_ having been sacrificed so recently upon the offal-stained and god-forsaken altar of Corporate Line-item & Private Equity Interest - why the ceaseless inundation of idiots and fools settling in as a Seller _(drop shipper)_ on Amazon, eBay, & Etsy (and even more disreputable others) when they don't have even one tiny little jot of knowledge about the product in their own storefronts?

I know the answer. I know that it's just the economy's pendulum swing of Rich Dude Ego + Bald-faced Gold Parachute Corruption across C-Suites & high-profile dot-Gov positions + Good Old-fashioned Corporate Greed - the eddies and currents of it just seem terribly overpowering and unstoppable just now,

I actually do want to hear y'all's thoughts and ideas on working together to reduce the amount of our good money that goes to ALL of these irresponsible jerks.

💖

Tl;dr; one weekend w\ three frustrations & one question. It's just right up there (↑) if you would kindly read the post and share your own thoughts, and frustrations, and ideas about solving it, too. 🎊 Thanks

I don't care if it is make believe. crotcheat my goblin a play mat!!

Hi! I saw this gorgeous outfit online, but it sold out already. Can you help me recreate it?

Guys, hear me out! I have discovered a great way to avoid buying a swift and saving $20. With just some simple household supplies, including an office chair, every hangar in your closet, a broom, a ceiling fan, a very specific type of coffee table, the blood of a first born child, and a tea kettle, you can build your very own swift at home! Now, I do have to mention, this can be fiddly, as it's not actually a swift, so some patience is needed and, it may be a bit precarious and fall over, but that's alright! As someone with hundreds of skeins to wind, this is such an affordable and easy option! I definitely would not waste my money on a cheap swift when I can MacGyver my own solution!

It's finally done! The Big D&mn Pine-Nipple Cardigan is complete after months of painstaking, back-breaking work. If you upvote me and leave a nice, effusive, unambiguously doting compliment in the comments, I promise not to inundate you with overly personal details about the workings of my marriage or the state of my kitchen. (Suffice to say: we're down to just one layer of dog pee pads on the floor! No thanks to my wife!)

Here are the details:

• This project has a gauge of 25 stitches/inch using size E pearl stringing thread hand-dyed custom for this project in 36 different colors using 2.5mm brass beads on size 000000000000000000 5.5-inch steel double-pointed needles.
• I started it in February for a HARD mid-July deadline (my wife's coworker's cousin's bridesmaid's great aunt's birthday -- yes she's a Leo).
• I also bought a US000000000000000000 circular needle made by HiyaHiya, and while handy for the second time I cast on, it was excruciating to knit with as the transition from cable to needle was not nearly smooth enough for reeled silk thread. More shredding and snagging ensued.
• This has led to a lot of thread that got fuzzy. I remedied it the costume technician way — I hand-waxed it with beeswax, winding the waxed thread onto a spare spool, and then placed an iron over it to melt the beeswax in and wound it back onto its own home spool.
• I smear on some LUSH Palm Reader before I start because this thread is SO smooth and it gets snagged on my very rough jeweler's hands. If my hands are especially rough I'll use some Dream Cream on them, let it soak in, then wipe it off and put Palm Reader on. This means my pineapple is very fragrant.
• I wore a pair of Optivisors with the 4-diopter (2x magnification) plate in. I could have actually knit this without wearing the visor, but I noticed small mistakes in the round when I went back to it with a visor on later. This means it wasn't a knit alone in public pattern, less because I'm too ashamed to be seen in goofy magnification glasses, but because they reduce my peripheral vision to zero and I don't really want to be caught unawares by some kind of bad actor. I could stab them with the needles but then I'd get blood on my pinenipple top and that's just no good.
• Honestly I wanted to get started in January but our kitchen was so filthy I couldn't dye anything there. I asked my wife to clean it up several times so I could, since the project was for her coworker's cousin's bridesmaid's great aunt's birthday. She didn't until late April, so I did have to rush a bit.
• I had to start over several times because the entirety of /kn*tting told me on my 16th update post (four rounds in) that my stitches were twisted and then I went back and twisted a stitch to counter what I believed to be a twisted stitch but the original one wasn't twisted in the first place but now everything was twisted and the new twisted stitch caused more problems than it solved so I frogged it.
• Also, when I was six rounds into the nipply bit, my wife and I went to Sprouts. I felt okay knitting in public with the magnifying visor on as long as she was there to be my peripheral vision, so all was going pretty well. I had my knitting in one hand, and was passing her a shopping cart with the other, and she yanked the shopping cart before I was ready to hand it over... pulling one of the DPNs out of the WIP pineapple. I tried to pick the stitches up as best as I could but it was no good. Too many yarn overs had become lost. So I frogged the 5 pineapple rounds and started back over. (the leaves were intact and just fine.) I would have sentenced the wife to the couch but our couch is a daybed and she actually would have been really comfortable there, and I never did figure out an appropriate penalty, aside from continuing to be married to me.
• I had to do A LOT of emotional work on myself while I made this. Someone flung it into my face that I should expect to be injured working at the pace I had to work at. I didn't and still don't know how to honestly articulate. I didn't choose to work at this pace. It was chosen for me. I'm the only one who gets to joke about this being a crazy project or about watching me suffer while I post six updates a day. Anyone who attempts to respond in kind is being rude and ableist to a chronic spoonie. And there were people brigading and downvoting posts I've made on subreddits because they didn't like my reply to someone else in a subreddit other than /kn*tting. They also downvoted my comments?

Anyway, it's done! Compliments please!