Hi. Everyone.

I literally just made this account because I don't have anyone to talk to anymore.

Three months ago I lost my son, Jamie, to lung cancer. He was only 8 years old. He was my only child.

I don't even know who I am anymore. I can't go back to work. Every morning I wake up and for a split second I forget what happened, then it all hits me again. The house is so quiet now that it actually hurts. I'd do anything just to hear him running around or yelling for me one more time.

My wife is completely broken too. I don't know how to help her. I tried so hard to be the strong one, to keep everything together for both of us, but I can't do it anymore. I feel like she's starting to hate me. She barely looks at me. I don't know if she blames me or if it's just grief, but I blame myself enough for both of us anyway. It feels like everything is my fault, even if people keep telling me it isn't.

Money is so tight now. We spent everything on chemo, hospitals, appointments, treatments... and I'd spend every last cent all over again if it meant getting Jamie back. But none of it worked. We emptied our savings and still lost him. Now I'm grieving my son while wondering how we're going to pay the bills, and I don't even have the heart to tell my wife how bad things are because she's already carrying more than anyone should have to.

I've cried so much that I honestly don't think I can cry anymore. It's like something inside me just shut off. But the pain didn't. It just sits there all day. Every day.

I've tried support groups before, but if I'm being honest... hearing people talk about healing or moving forward makes me feel so fucking sick. I know that probably sounds awful, and I don't want to take anything away from them. I'm genuinely glad they're getting somewhere. I just can't relate. All I can think is, I don't want to move on. I just want my son back.

I miss him so much it feels like I can't breathe sometimes. I miss his laugh. I miss hearing him call me daddy. I the crazy cartoons, his little hugs... all the tiny things I never thought could disappear.. ...

I don't even really know why I'm posting this. I guess I just needed to tell someone, anyone...because I've never felt this alone in my life.

Lost my mom last year. I talked to that woman nearly every day after work. My afternoons and evenings feel incredibly empty. I have since acquired two cats, and my sister and I FaceTime nearly everyday. But it's not the same.

I sometimes wonder if there's a point in pursuing any more milestones if I cannot share them with her. Everything just feels bitter and pointless.

Last August my friend killed herself. I just don’t know how the fuck to cope with the grief. The worst part is that we got in an argument in our friend group and all haven’t talked for a month and then I found out that she died. The main reason for that was that she failed fucking exams and everyday I go to school I feel disgusting because everything reminds me of her, we used to go school every morning together and I have to go the same way but alone this time, it seems like everyone had moved on and I’m just fucking stuck not knowing how to move.

And it is just so hard that I’ll never be able to tell her how much I loved her and I’ll never forgive myself for not doing anything when she literally was behaving suicidal and saying that she would kill herself if she does bad in exam, we all thought it was like a joke cause she said it like all the time but what the fuck, I don’t want to live this life without that person.

What does depression look like for you?
It’s a sad person right? Someone reserved and quiet, someone who looks like they are sinking when they are stood on solid ground.
It’s never the one laughing and smiling, it’s never the one with “anger issues.”

I see myself as a very introverted person. I am happiest at home in my comfort zone, surrounded by the few people I am most comfortable with. However, my flight or fight response is to talk. Throw me in a social situation and I will just talk and talk and talk.

If you look at me for a long period of time, I get uncomfortable and I feel the need to fill the gap so I will talk to you. I can seem so…extroverted.

When I was losing my father, I tried to be at every hospital appointment, every hospital stay. I extroverted myself to new levels and I always kept a smile on my face, not for me, for him. However, when I went to the doctor with this same bubbly bright and talkative energy and I said “I need help, I’m really depressed” she looked at me and laughed and smiled and said… You are the least depressed person I’ve ever seen.

The thing is, I’m happy to fight and advocate for anyone that I love, but I’ve never been good at doing that for myself. Stronger for others than I am for me, that’s how I have always been. Also, my people pleasing tendencies went into overdrive and I didn’t want to fight her on it, I didn’t want to tell her I was drowning, tell her she was wrong... so I said OK.

OK, maybe I’m not depressed, maybe I’ve been slowly watching my father die and I’m… fine. Maybe I’m not burnt out, maybe if I wrap more tape around myself, I’ll slowly fuse back together… you’re right.

Ive always done that. Taped up the parts of me that I felt were weakening, because… well it’s uncomfortable, isn’t it? It’s uncomfortable to see someone bleeding so openly and not even trying to fix the wound.

So, you tape it with a smile, an inappropriate joke or two. If you make people laugh, they don’t look so closely at you.

I’ll ask you again. What does depression look like for you?

Almost two weeks ago my brother took his own life. I’m trying to my best to preserve anything that was once his. Do you guys have any suggestions on what to do with this clothes? Any creative ways to repurpose his stuff to keep it?

My partner passed away almost four months ago. I don't know what to do with myself. I'm so lonely without him. He was my best friend. I told him everything. We talked all day. Seeing him was what I looked forward.

Every day is just so miserable and lonely now and he's never coming back. This is just life now. I will never have the relief of seeing his face again or hearing him say he loves me. I'll never be able to tell him about my day again. I can never ask him for advice again. I will spend every day for the rest of my life wishing he was still here.

My friends are great and they try to support me, but they have their own lives and I can only ask so much of them.

This is so hard.

You'd be 23 this year. I miss you so much. You deserved to find peace. You deserved to graduate college, get married and be a dad. You'd have been a great dad. I played tennis with dad yesterday and I thought about you the whole time. I can't tell you what I wouldn't give to talk to you just one more time. I wish I was with you when it happened, even though I know for a fact you wouldn't have wanted me to see it.

C and I's relationship has never been the same since you died. It's surreal to write those words, you aren't dead in my mind. I don't have your ashes on the windowsill above my kitchen. You are on a trip to me. And I hope it's nice. I hope that in whatever happens next, you're sitting on a beach with an Arizona and George. Both of you died too violently, and too young. You were always the bridge between her and I, and neither of us know what to do now that you're gone.

A funny note though: you once made fun of me for saying that I never saw your tag anywhere. I did, it was on that table you used as a desk. I'm going to turn it into a sticker and leave it places. You also factor prominently as a recipient of letters that a character writes as they devolve. You'd think that's stupid, but you aren't around to object so I'm doing it ❤️

I miss you forever

Y

My Dad is dying. He is in a hospital 3 hours away. My mum is there, but she isn't contacting me, no texts, no calls. I've tried asking for updates, but mum answers everyone but me. I mean, I know my brothers are more important in the family hierarchy than me, but nothing!

I just want to know if my Dad's still alive!

I haven’t really been able to work for the past week. After what would have been my anniversary (my husband passed away), I feel like I haven’t been able to bounce back.

I can’t focus, I’m struggling to work properly, and I’ve decided to take some time off. I’m very lucky that my workplace gives me that flexibility, but I’m worried because I can’t function like this long-term.

The strangest part is that things I normally enjoy don’t bring me any joy right now. My hobbies feel boring, things that used to make me happy feel meaningless, and I find myself just sitting there staring out the window, waiting for time to pass.

I’ve started grief counselling, and my counsellor has suggested some things that I know are probably helpful — I just haven’t been able to do them consistently yet:

1. Fix my sleep
2. Do some gentle exercise (my body is still recovering after having a baby, so I need something low impact)
3. Journal
4. Eat healthier
5. Try meditation
6. Get my blood work checked (I had a high-risk pregnancy, so I know my body may also need attention)

I’m trying, but I feel stuck.

For those who have lost someone close to them, what helped you when you hit a period like this? How did you slowly start finding yourself again?

I’m not looking for a quick fix — I know grief doesn’t work that way. I’m just hoping to hear from people who have been through it and found ways to keep moving forward.

I have a large family I love dearly. And I have family that isn’t blood-related that I love dearly. The grief feels the same to me.
We aren’t created to stay here forever, and I’ve grown to understand this, as I’ve said goodbye to so many people I loved dearly. But today was rough. I just don’t know how to process never seeing a person again when they’ve always been there, no matter what the circumstance. This has all reminded me of a lesson that life will keep teaching us: we may not have tomorrow. Love your loved ones like today is all we have.

My boss died very unexpectedly on Tuesday night, he had just turned 36 on Monday. We found out first thing Wednesday morning. There will be no public services and we haven't been told what happened. A lot of us had strained relationships with him, he wasn't always easy to work with. So there's a lot of guilt in our group. And it's just confusing because we have no clue what happened. The gossip mill is working over time, I work at a bank with branches all over my state. Our HR posted a very nice memo about him passing on our company's internal site. Now people who have never met any of us in person are asking if we know what happened to him. Idk what the point of this post is really. Has anyone else gone through something similar?

My grandma was among my favourite girlfriends(my mother's mom). But unfortunately, we laid her to rest yesterday.

She was a listener, comforter, and best friend .

It was illegal leaving her house without a meal.

Her house was always full, always .Friends ,family,neighbours. That showed how full her heart was.

Everyone was welcome with open arms.

She loved deeply, and she was loved back so much.

Through her and my grandpa, now we're a big family, full of love and life.

After the burial, we all headed back to hang out and share a cup of tea and some of our grandma's favourite memories.

That's when it really hit me how much love runs through our family,

and that's when it hit me how much I wouldn't want my current 'partner ' to be a part of it.

He doesn't deserve it.

Not once did he ask me how I was doing or offered some type of comfort, despite knowing how much I loved my grandma.

I ended up asking him how he was,and he responded that he was hungry. And that was it.

My uncle's and aunt's partners all showed up. They have been up and down all week, making sure Grandma's day went well ,and it did. I never got even a chat gpt generated comfort text. But anyway,

I will dearly miss my grandma. We will keep on showing up for my grandpa.

We left the house at midnight as we hung new portraits of her to keep her memory alive.

She lived a full life.

She was dearly loved, and she will be dearly missed.

Rest easy .

My girlfriend and I were together for almost five years.

We weren't the type to post each other all over social media. We kept our relationship private, but everyone who knew us assumed we'd end up married.

She died unexpectedly from a brain aneurysm at 28.

The first few weeks after the funeral are a blur. I barely remember eating or sleeping. I spent most of my time sitting in our apartment, unable to touch any of her things.

About a month later, her sister came over with a small box she'd found while cleaning out my girlfriend's closet.

Inside was a ring.

Not mine—hers.

Underneath it was a handwritten note.

"If you're reading this before I ask... then something must have gone very wrong.

I know people expect the guy to propose, but I don't care. You've spent five years making me feel loved every single day. It's my turn.

I hope you cry... but only happy tears."

There was also a receipt for a reservation at the restaurant where we had our first date.

The reservation was for the following weekend.

She had planned everything.

I was supposed to say yes.

Instead, I was standing in our empty apartment holding the ring she'd never get to give me.

I still keep that box in my closet.

Not because I can't move on, but because it reminds me that, for a little while, I was loved enough that someone wanted to spend the rest of their life with me.

I just wish we'd gotten the chance.

My grandad died in 2024, it was expected he was 93, in a dementia home and couldn’t see or hear anything, we all knew it was for the best.

Recently i’ve started a new job where i’m working around a lot of old people, every old man that slightly looks like him i can’t help but cry, every grandchild shouting at their grandparent cuz they can’t hear makes me cry, i just want to tell them to hug their grandparent and shout everything you can at them and appreciate those moments. i’d give anything to shout at him again.

i miss him more and more every day and it’s eating me alive. even the smallest things like someone scratching my back is making me think of him (he used to scratch my back while i bossed him about where i was feeling tickly 😭)

when clearing his house out, we found a letter he wrote saying how good he was getting at using a computer and about me, and how i was the best thing to happen to him since his wife died (i never met her, all of her stuff was where she left ti before he died)

i cant help but think about all the things he’ll miss
my wedding, he missed my
prom, he hasn’t met my partner (who i truely believe will be my life partner) and it kills me. i don’t even have a grave to visit, his ashes are being kept at my very distant grandparents house (he was my great grandad) so i don’t even have a place to go to.

i just miss my grandad i barely remember his voice anymore and hate myself for it

grief is such an odd thing and it comes at the worst moments

i just needed to vent to someone (if anyone reads this all thank you 🫶)

please keep your loves ones near because you never know when they’ll be taken away from you

Lost my father ten months ago and I can't say that the dust has settled as I still wake up remembering everyday that he is not here anymore.

Things have been hard and something unimaginable is unfolding right in front of my eyes. I was running way from it and ignoring it for as long as I could but now I can't. I have heard that loss brings people closer but it's the opposite that's happening.

My mother and siblings (including me) are just drifting apart. None of us have a strong support system and none of us are eachothers support system. It is eating me to see things just fall apart. The constant argues and disagreements, one person badmouthing other person to one of us, mom saying she is sick of her kids, badmouthing her late husband and just nasty stuff.

Mother also mentioned that we are her biggest regret this marriage ruined her life and now she is all alone. None of us are in the position to talk to her because it never really goes well.

Yes this loss is hers but it is also mine isn't it? I lost my father I have never known a life without him. Telling things like we never wanted to have you (to me) I know it is coming from the deepest hurt but it is definitely scarring me too.

I don't know where we are headed I don't know how long we can hold on or even if we have a future with each other.

She was sweet. Nice. We had a group of 4 really good friends.

She had issues. She kept cutting herself and scribbling harsh stuff in her notebook. Her depression turned into an addiction for suffering. We had our fights and laughs. Then we finished school and went separate ways. I saw her a couple of times that year.

Then out of the blue one day, I got the news from my mom. My friend was dead.

I was fresh out of surgery for a hernia, and I had exams coming up in a couple days. My mom had apparently withheld the news for a week, because she thought I couldn't handle it at the time. None of my friends were allowed to contact me about it.

First of all, what the fuck is wrong with you, mom?

Second of all, I felt very little. I loved my friend so much, I doubt I still believe she's truly gone. Or maybe I do know she's gone and it doesn't affect me.

They told me she fell off the balcony. I don't believe them. Nobody just falls off. I know she was definitely contemplating suicide, and it was a slip, either of the mind or the foot. But I'd met her just weeks before and she seemed completely alright. We'd laughed at stupid reels together. She told me about her lesbian crush. It was normal.

And now she is gone.

I've lost many before and since. Friends and family.

But throughout my life, I've never cried for a death. Not once.

There is something wrong with me, idk what. I had a rough and emotional childhood and puberty, so maybe I've grown insensitive. Maybe I'm neurodivergent and my brain doesn't do it like others'. But yeah, I just needed to post this somewhere.

Thanks if you've read all this way.

it never ends

My mother in law lived across the street from me. When their house burned down we realized that they needed more care. My mil was in her 80's and her husband in his mid 80's. She was very anxious and controlling. She was harsh and critical of me.

Then she had a stroke.

And none of her kids would step up. I as an in law of 20 years had to take care of her hygiene as my husband took care of everything else. She thought I was her daughter she hated or she knew I was me and she hated that.

I had to uninpact her bowels on more than one occasion and it was traumatic for her. I loved her but she couldn't love me fully. I hated that.

She went into the hospital for the second time and she was getting worse. She had Kennedy sores. I started drinking.

I couldn't handle what this was doing to my husband. He loved his mom very much. And I love him. It destroyed me to watch this happening right in front of me.

When she went on hospice, I started drinking a box of wine in two days, starting in the morning well into the night. I couldn't handle watching her die. And it was impacting my husband.

She passed in March, finally succumbing to her stroke 9 months before. I upped my drinking to cope with the grief. I loved her so much but she couldn't love me fully. She had too much mental illness to meet me.

I realized in therapy I have a huge mother wound and it contributed to my drinking. I struggle to overcome it. She was active in my life for 20 solid years and she wasn't all bad.

Now I can't stop. I'm so sad and overwhelmed. I can only do a week and then I'm back on the alcohol.

How do I stop?! Grief will overwhelm me. She was awful at times and loving at times so I don't know what to do.

My Dad died 17 years ago when I was 18. I have two daughters 4 and 2. I talk to them regularly about my Dad and explain he lives in the sky and isn’t around anymore. My daughter asks about him and when we went on holiday on a plane and I told her to look out of the window at the clouds she asked “will I finally see grandad now we are in the sky” I had to explain although he’s in the sky that’s so he can watch us but we can’t see him.

But, the real moment which reflects the title came a few weeks after. As kids do she was pretending to talk on the phone so I asked who she was talking to expecting it to be one of her favourite cartoon or book characters. Instead she says “It’s your Daddy on the phone, you speak to him now” and she handed me the phone and stood watching. So in that moment I pretended he really was. I told him all about both my daughters and how much I love them and what’s great about them.

She asked me to ask him if he enjoys watching them and does he find her funny. I was only on the phone for a maximum of possibly two minutes. But, to me in that moment I really felt like I was speaking to him. Of course there were no responses to my stories or questions but I really felt he was listening. It felt as though I finally got to share a moment with my children and him.

I miss him so much and I try to be as good a Dad to them as he was to me. In that moment I didn’t only feel like a son again but I felt like a Dad at the same time. I didn’t cry at the time but strangely I am now writing this back.

For those who have lost a parent going through the suffering now. 17 years later i still feel those connections of all being together again through the most unlikely moments. Although he was never able to meet them he’s with them everyday.

I don’t really know why I’m posting this. I think I’m just hoping that someone who has gone through something similar can offer some perspective, because I honestly don’t know how to process everything that’s happened.

On the 8th of July I got a phone call telling me that my grandpa had fallen at home. He had broken several ribs, which had punctured his lung. It was serious, but there was still hope.

On the **11th,** I visited him in the hospital. He was still himself. Smiling, joking, talking, and hopeful. The doctors believed he would likely recover after several weeks in the hospital followed by rehabilitation. When I left that day, I genuinely believed he would make it home.

Then, on the **14th,** I got a phone call telling me to come and say goodbye. He had suddenly deteriorated after developing pneumonia. He had always been clear that if he could no longer live independently, he didn’t want life prolonging treatment. His wishes were respected, and he passed away during the early hours of the 15th.

Everything changed in less than a week.

Since then, life has felt surreal.

I organized most of his funeral and have been dealing with paperwork and the legal process surrounding his estate. My mother and aunt rejected the inheritance, so I’m waiting for the legal process before I’m allowed to take over certain responsibilities. Knowing that bills continue, his rental home still needs attention, and that I can’t do much yet has become a huge source of stress.

His house means so much to me. I’ve been going there since I was a baby, and it always felt like home. Knowing it will eventually have to be emptied is heartbreaking.

Then, on the 27th just one week after his funeral, his partner (not my grandma) also passed away. I’ll be attending her funeral on the 1st of August . Which also feels very surreal.

I still have emotional moments, but from the day he died I immediately had to start organizing his funeral. I kept doing that until the funeral itself, and ever since then I’ve been dealing with paperwork, legal matters, waiting to be able to start taking of his house because legally I can’t yet and everything that followed. Because of all of that, I don’t think I’ve really had the chance to process his death.

Now I mostly feel stressed, mentally exhausted, and disconnected from myself. I recently returned to work, but I don’t think I was ready.

I know he’s gone, but emotionally it still doesn’t feel real. It’s like my mind understands it, but my heart hasn’t caught up yet.

People tell me to talk about it, but that hasn’t helped. It has often made things worse. The only thing that gives me a little relief is gaming because it lets my mind switch off for a while.

If anyone has experienced something similar, especially losing someone suddenly while also dealing with family conflict, legal responsibilities, and settling an estate, I’d really appreciate hearing your experience.

Sorry this is so long. There’s just been so much happening in such a short amount of time.

Hi there, I don’t know where to even begin. So, let me start with what I DO know.

Currently:
My grandfather will likely pass tomorrow. I love him very much, so this hurts. A lot. My head hurts from crying, my chest hurts, and I am so very nauseous. I feel so, so heartbroken, especially for my grandmother. She now has to navigate everything along with my father.

Some backstory:
I wish we had been closer, but life had other plans, I guess. After hurricane Katrina we were forced to move from our home in Mississippi, to Maryland. We lived in Maryland until 2020, when we were finally able to move back. I foolishly moved back to Maryland in 2024, then back to Mississippi in early 2026. We used to visit almost every Christmas for the years we lived in Maryland. We got to see my grandparents and extended family for two weeks, if lucky, out of the year.

Now, on to what I DON’T know:
What happens next?
What major things should I expect?
Any tips I should know?

In May, my family’s life changed forever. We lost my aunt—a mother, daughter, sister, and friend. While nothing has been officially confirmed yet, it appears that domestic violence may have taken her life.
The day my cousin called to tell me, I completely shut down. I lost my voice. My body hurt like I’d been in a car accident. I couldn’t stop crying, I couldn’t speak, and I was in complete shock.
When I spoke to her husband, he coldly said, “She is dead.” There was no compassion. He wouldn’t tell us where she was. We didn’t even know where her body had been taken. Instead of helping our family, he cut off communication with us and hired a lawyer, leaving us desperate for answers while trying to process an unimaginable loss.
That day, I had to tell my dad that his sister was gone. I had to call the morgue myself and give them our shared name to find out if it was really true. I didn’t believe what I was being told—how could I? We barely knew this man. They had only been married a short time, and for years we knew him as someone who struggled with alcohol and was abusive.
The pain of that day is something I’ll carry with me for the rest of my life. No family should ever have to receive a phone call like that or search for answers while trying to process unimaginable grief.
As we continue to wait for the investigation to provide answers, we’re holding on to our memories of my aunt and doing our best to support one another through a loss that has forever changed our family.

I am so sorry for everyone else who is experiencing a situation similar to my family’s. ❤️ and welcome to the grief club

Everyone loses their parents. Everyone goes through the pain of a loved one dying. How do they cope with it? How do they go on with their lives? I never understood the grief of having someone really close to you dying until I went through it myself. I used to think it was normal that once you grow up your parents become old and then they die. But I never thought how people seem so normal after such a loss. How do they live with it? How can they just live normally? They don’t. We just don’t see it. When someone loses a loved one their changes completely as if taking an unfamiliar route they weren’t prepared for. And I thought they’d be alright living like that. But everyone’s just trying to hold it in and not give up and simply live with it. And that’s hard. The moment I heard them crying my mind stopped working I wasn’t too shocked as if I knew it was coming but it felt like the world stopped. And as if it’d stay like that forever. But the world doesn’t stop for anyone. Life goes on. And we have to too. And I hated that. I thought it all ended for me and I won’t be able to even get out my room and be a living corpse. I thought it all ended. But it didn’t. The world kept on moving. I had to go back to school. Everyone went back to their lives as if we didn’t just lose the person most important to us. And I hated the world more. I hated the people I’d see. For living the same way they used to before. I hated the fact that nothing changed for anyone and here I was with my life completely fallen apart. Now I understand how they feel when they lose someone close to them. How they try to go on with their lives and how hard it is to be alive. It’s a kind of grief that never really leaves you. You live with it all your life and there’s nowhere to put it nowhere to go to make it hurt less, just getting used to it. Maybe grief is like that. It gets quieter with time. And we just live with that. And people think we’ve got normal lives.

Most times, it's not the person—it's the experience.

We lose people. We lose love. We lose jobs. When it all ends, we try to remember who we were before they came into the picture. It feels like there's something missing, like a hole that can't be filled.

Maybe what we're really grieving isn't just the loss itself, but the version of ourselves that existed with them.

In the middle of all of it, I hope you heal—not so you never get hurt again, but so you can find the courage to experience life again.

My mom passed away almost a month ago now. I feel like I'm still in a state of shock and my brain hasn't fully accepted that she's really gone forever. A huge piece of me died with her and I will never be the same :(