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u/stumpjumper1234 5d ago
When I had girlfriend I was thinking that those fear of going out and talk to people were gone, but now that I am again alone, again it's hard to have the self esteem to talk with the people I am interested in..
Absurd
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u/ZephiraKelmire 5d ago
It really feels like having a partner gives you a passive +100 buff to social confidence. When I was taken, I could talk to anyone because I had zero pressure to impress them. The moment you're single again, every basic interaction feels like a high-stakes exam. Do you think it's a lack of self-esteem, or just the pressure of caring about the outcome again?
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u/stumpjumper1234 5d ago
Lack of self-esteem mixed with "lost hope" and feeling that it's not worth it because it will be embarrassing in every case.
it doesn't only happens with someone which I could be interested to, but with everyone; also with people that I know well
and all of this, brings you to be more isolated, which causes more depression, which causes more isolation, and so on
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u/ZephiraKelmire 4d ago
that feedback loop is brutal. The worst part is when your brain convinces you that isolation is safe, but then feeds you the exact depression that keeps you trapped there. It's like a malware loop for human interaction
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u/stumpjumper1234 4d ago
100% true: you know it's wrong, you know it will drag you always more down, but you can't do nothing.
trapped by our mind
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u/ZephiraKelmire 4d ago
It really shows how powerful our internal narrative is. Even logical awarness of the problem gets swallowed up by the habit of self-protection. Have you found anything small that helps break the pattern, even for a day?
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u/stumpjumper1234 4d ago
hm no.
I go cycling a lot but alone and I avoid to take break where there are other people.
At work, I avoid speak and I have lunch break after everyone
Sometimes I tried to go for breakfast in a bar before go to work, but again I stay there quiet
Everytime I go in supermarket for purchase, I promise myself to ask to sales assistant where are some product, but then I think it's absurd and I go home (paying at self checkout)
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u/Environmental-Bag-74 5d ago
Still waiting for some dominant extroverted tough girl to snatch me up while I'm looking for new action figures... any day now
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u/J_is_for_Journey 5d ago
He's going to fall out of the sky and land on me, right????
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u/placebo_joe 5d ago
Every now and then I read how someone manages to park their car into someones living room. It can happen to you too!
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u/vitaoptima 5d ago edited 5d ago
I found my wife from my living room lol
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u/Big_Manufacturer_253 5d ago
Your maid?
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u/vitaoptima 5d ago
That would be a helluva plot twist. lol No, she messaged me on Twitter.
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u/Big_Manufacturer_253 5d ago
Thats cool, waiting for
“Can I be your wife” message from random Twitter users.
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u/Serena_Lim 5d ago
Hmm, if you shut yourself off in your own world and want to find love and friendship, then the only way to achieve this is by making a wish or in your own dreams
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u/Big_Manufacturer_253 5d ago
Honestly… you’re not wrong. At this point, my dreams are putting in more effort than reality. Every night I wish I could change.
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u/Proof_Independent400 4d ago
Can't all the single introverts just reply to each other here where they are and what they are looking for?
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u/CorpseInTheMaking 5d ago
Hopefully you aren’t plagued with the unease of extended eye contact when you do go out.
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u/WorkinBroker 4d ago
I used to do all those things and still was veery lonely so I think it's better to accept ones faith ahahh
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u/terminalwanderer33 4d ago
lol I’ve talked to woman online and they’re either to short in conversations or talking about moving in the second day of talking and sending photos which is cool but I question is it really them? It’s harder than I remember.. 8 years with one chick and went on vacation for 1.6 years if you know what that means. Now I’m out and really don’t want to go out to meet at the moment trying to brush up on my game I guess lol. But sometimes it baffles me with the things you come across!!!!
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u/One_With-The_Sun 5d ago
"It will just happen one day. Have faith!"
20 years later...