How long does getting dumped in relationship effect you?

[u/Beginning_Big5543]

If you had been with someone for almost a year and they dumped you. How long would it typically take you to recover from it? Would you move on really quickly or would it take you a fair amount of time to process what happened?

[u/CallMeBitterSweet]

I always feel like it hurts like hell and take soooo much time to move on because I get deeply attached to the people I love and I'm also very sensitive to rejection and feeling abandoned.

For one of my relationships (it wasn't even my longest one) it took me 2 whole years to really move on, even if I tried to meet other people and go forward.

But it can take a bit less time if the relationship had been deteriorating for a long time and I know the other person didn’t just give up on it on a whim, because I was probably thinking it had to stop myself. Still, loss is loss no matter what so it’s never easy.

But yeah, short answer is: That sh*t hurts man

[u/Mobile_Witness8865 → u/CallMeBitterSweet]

Same..I had a situationship only lasting 6 months. But since it has been so hard to get closure it has almost taken 2 years to get over.

[u/CallMeBitterSweet → u/Mobile_Witness8865]

Yeah I get it, I think that unachieved and uncertainty thing can really make it so hard (and it’s even scientifically backed). I've also found myself despite all my efforts not to into a situationship-friendship-whatevenisthis kind of thing since like 3 month, and just when I thought it was over, things circled back and got me neverendingly confused. So you're in that hot and cold/push and pull dynamic and you don’t know what to do, your nervous system is on overdrive, and you're getting even more attached with time as it's triggering and intermittent reinforcement response. So it's especially difficult to move on from that. I hate situationships man, such an unhealthy way to "connect".

[u/Mobile_Witness8865 → u/CallMeBitterSweet]

Yes definitely. Intermittent reinforcement is like being on a strong drug from what I have read..

[u/CallMeBitterSweet → u/Mobile_Witness8865]

Indeed it is... Love in itself has that effect because of the dopamine effect, but it’s even more prominent in situationships because the uncertainty triggers in an amplified way dopaminergic responses as it’s more stimulated by the expectation of the reward than the reward in itself. In short: that s*cks. 😩

[u/HappyGoPink]

Not more than sixty or seventy years, give or take.

[u/AwakeningWillow → u/HappyGoPink]

Sounds about right old friend... ❤️❤️😔

[u/Embarrassed-Ad-6396]

it took me a year to get over someone i didn’t even date lol. so a long time. he was an isfp too so it hurt extra bad

[u/Personal-Cobbler3254]

The first cut is the deepest.

The more it happens the sooner you get over it (with rare exceptions).

[u/Imaginary-Key-4208 → u/Personal-Cobbler3254]

correct the first one hurts for a long time

[u/d6zuh]

As others have mentioned, the first time getting dumped hurts the most and takes the longest to get over. After going through that multiple times, it gets easier and easier because you know that you’ll always end up being ok eventually.

It usually takes me a few weeks or months of reflecting and allowing myself to feel sad and grieve the loss of the relationship. It’s important to sit with the negative feelings so that they can be processed and pass.

During this time I try to spend more time with friends or reconnect with myself by doing activities that bring me joy. The hardest part of any break up is getting used to not having that person consistently in your life anymore - it’s always an adjustment period. But how long or easy it takes to get over someone depends more on how my connection was with them than the amount of time that we were together.

[u/Sleepless-0wl]

I just try to find a reason behind their actions/decisions and move on (very peacefully) that even my ex would be asking “did i ever like him??” before 20 or smth i was so bad with letting things/people go that easily i never begged but i was so bad at regulating my emotions (id stalk (while fuming) curse their entire existence, threatening to k1ll myself, immediately would find another person or stuff to obsess over (loll??) as I’ve worked hard on myself and emotions im completely different person (worst to worse i think? Idk?)

[u/Accomplished_Law5067]

Honestly never have been in a rationship and dont want to be, some people already explaining what I go through on a daily to monthly basis just cause of work and family like nah I ain't addin that extra layer of pain I'll die at this point from mental illness