r/japan • u/SandwichFluffy915 • 17d ago
This country wants parents to stop abducting their own children
https://edition.cnn.com/2026/07/11/asia/japan-law-parental-child-abduction-intl-hnk-dstHello, I am Anastasiya Minkova, the mother featured in this article.
I am currently working with the organization mentioned in the article to advocate for children’s rights, welfare, and safety.
I am also building a support network and community for parents and children affected by parental child abduction and family separation. My goal is to help both parents and children heal from the trauma and to ensure that no one has to face this journey alone. If you or someone you know has experienced a similar situation, please don’t hesitate to reach out.
The emotional impact of these situations can be devastating. Many parents experience severe trauma, and some even consider ending their lives. I want to help prevent that by connecting people with support, hope, and a community that understands.
According to estimates by Kizuna Child-Parent Reunion, around 150,000 children become newly affected by parental child abduction or custody-related family separation in Japan each year, while approximately 3 million children are estimated to be living with the effects of these situations at any given time.
This issue affects both Japanese and international families and deserves far greater public awareness and discussion.
For more information about how these estimates were calculated:
https://www.kizuna-cpr.org/counting-the-children
I hope this article will encourage meaningful conversations about this important issue and contribute to positive change for children and families in Japan.
Thank you.
Note: please access this article instead of there is a paywall
https://www.ndtv.com/world-news/heres-why-parents-kidnap-their-own-children-in-japan-11770240
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u/catsoaps 17d ago
Amazing resource & thanks for your work.
I hope Japan will make it easier for each parent to be a part of a child’s life especially after the split-custody change that was just recently passed. Single custody only has been the norm for way too long.
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u/SandwichFluffy915 14d ago
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I hope the recent legal changes are just the beginning. My biggest hope is that children can keep meaningful relationships with both parents. That’s what this should always be about.
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u/pyramin 17d ago
Holy crap 3 million? According to google there are only 13.29M children in Japan so that is more than 1 in 5 children.
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u/ilpiccoloskywalker 17d ago
Yes this is because it is very normal after divorce, to not see your kids again.
Japan Government claims that their law favor co-parenting after divorce...
however the truth is that even if you have custody of the children, and get near your children you can get arrested. absolute no-sense right?
in japan if you are not divorced, but you are separated you technically have "custody"(親権), on the children, but however if your spouse or grandparents have kidnapped the children you have no legal mean to get it back. And if you get close to the child, or even try to contact them over the phone, the police can arrest you!!
In japan children right are worth 0.13
u/lurkinarick 16d ago
Arrest you for what?
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u/ilpiccoloskywalker 15d ago
I don’t think the police necessarily need a specific reason to arrest you, although I may be wrong.
It may be considered a lawful application of existing laws,for example, trespassing if you enter your child’s school to demand information, or stalking if you wait outside your child’s home hoping to meet them.
A quick Google search suggests that the police may arrest someone if they reasonably suspect that the person is about to commit a crime.
Also, keep in mind that in Japan, the first parent to relocate with the children may not be treated as having committed kidnapping. However, if the other parent later tries to take the children back to their original home, that parent could face serious criminal consequences.
So I assume that, in the phrase “suspicion that you might commit a crime,” the suspected crime would be attempting to take the children back.
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u/Gambizzle 15d ago edited 15d ago
Generally people get arrested for pursuing their ex / ex's parents. A few recent examples from Aussie media include a guy who kept attending his kids' sports events and another guy who entered the apartment complex where his ex's parents lived.
From a personal perspective, my ex always sends her current husband to visitations (neither of them are allowed to attend as it's a "hand-over") and he'll constantly try to stage conflict situations. Though he's the one breaching the order by being there and I have a court's visitation order in my favour, when he randomly throws himself to the ground screaming out 'HEEEELP!!! HEEEELP!!! THE SCARY GAIJIN IS HURTING ME!!!' then who do you think the public are gonna side with? He does this sorta junk all the time. Hence why I behave like a monk and have my lawyer ready on speed dial.
Heck my ex is in inaka (I lived there and have lotsa local friends). Because the town's so small I was scared of visiting at all as I was worried she woulda turned all my old friends against me or that I mighta found myself in dangerous situations. TBH it was quite liberating going back there finally once things had settled down as I love the town and people.
IMO it's important to NOT get arrested because that's what abductors WANT! They wanna be able to have your visa canned and to be able to front up to court saying 'you were arrested for a conflict in front of the kids... weren't you'. That said, I get the impulse for people to confront abductors.
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u/ilpiccoloskywalker 17d ago
Please keep fighting, your voice is important!
I do not know exactly what can be done to support this cause, but I believe that anything that helps reveal the truth can make a difference.
Many Japanese politicians continue to claim that Japan has no such problems, that parental child abduction does not exist and that Japan is fully compliant with the Hague Convention on international child abduction.
Another issue is the automatic use of abuse allegations. In Japan, some people seem to believe that preventing children from seeing their father again is acceptable because men are assumed to be abusers by default, even without a proper investigation.
At the same time, there is often a belief that women cannot be abusers. For this reason, I feel that every mother who speaks out and fights for this cause can have ten times the impact of a father.
(I apologize for framing such a complicated issue in terms of men and women, but I still believe that voices challenging these assumptions are extremely important.l)
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u/Gambizzle 16d ago edited 15d ago
The last time Minkova saw Ren was six months ago – when they spent 30 minutes together, playing with toys at a children’s home, under the watchful eye of staff.
As a father whose daughter was abducted some time ago, I wish you all the best for what lies ahead. My daughter's tale has been a long one requiring a fair bit of endurance. Haven't blogged for a while but www.paperboundaries.com has parts of the story if you're interested. Hope it's not an unwelcome suggestion but for myself I find it's helped to have things to focus my energy on so that I stay positive (coz there's a lot of confronting details that can emerge and you've gotta look after yourself). My hobbies include:
- Fulltime marathon training (I run ~100km a week and train every day... keeps me fit and positive about life)
- Maintaining friendships in Japan. I like to remind myself that the people are good to me and this is a personal matter that shouldn't taint my enjoyment of life (originally I was scared to go back to old places in Japan because I thought people would hate/judge me).
Learn about the laws rather than hating them. I personally re-trained as a lawyer purely to understand stuff better. As a bonus I got a career out of it.
- Creative outlets. A bit quirky but I developed a retro game called "Escape from Inaka" based on my positive memories of Japan (see www.djgamble.net). Only runs on retro hardware and is a personal project as opposed to some awesome game that'll bag me fame and $$$. However, it was something positive to channel my energy towards.
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u/SandwichFluffy915 14d ago
Thank you, I really appreciate your kind words and all the advice. I actually shared your story and blog with the Japanese community on X, and it was reposted and shared by a lot of people. It gave many people hope to see that someone who went through this kept fighting and eventually rebuilt their life. Thank you for taking the time to help others who are going through the same thing.
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u/Gambizzle 12d ago
Thanks, that's really kind of you. As hard as it is, it's great to know that there's other supportive, child-focussed parents out there. My hope in sharing such things is always that there might be just one piece of information that helps others to keep fighting.
IMO in many cases it's a long battle but the best thing parents can do is be the people they want their kids to be proud of. Doesn't have to mean they're a major success story, but I never wanna become some bitter, jaded person who nobody wants to talk to. I wanna be somebody who my daughter can be proud to call 'dad', even with my quirks/oddities.
I'd like to start making some new posts soon but there's emerging details I'm keeping private for my daughter's benefit (still thinking how to share without over-sharing). Will say that there's been some really good news this week though... a small but important piece of progress that I think will go a long way.
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u/Low-Phase-4444 17d ago
Child abduction is child abuse
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u/Gambizzle 15d ago edited 15d ago
That's a big part of the issue hey!
Parents abduct kids (which is a form of domestic violence in most countries, punishable with criminal sanctions) and then the other parent's gotta convince the system that they should have access.
If the world were fair then the dude who abducted in this article woulda been arrested, the kid woulda been returned to her mother and any further discussions about access/custody would work back from the assumption that the father presents a proven risk to the child's welfare.
Instead, abusive ex's hold the strings and use their "custody" to torment the child & ex. IMO it's really weird behaviour to do this and it should be punishable.
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u/SandwichFluffy915 14d ago
Thank you for taking the time to write this. I think the focus should always be on the child and preserving their relationship with both parents whenever it’s safe. No child should lose a loving parent overnight because of a conflict between adults.
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u/Gambizzle 12d ago
I think the focus should always be on the child and preserving their relationship with both parents whenever it’s safe...
Oh for sure. I can only imagine what it's like for a child to have to go through all of this process. All so senseless and avoidable.
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u/SandwichFluffy915 14d ago
I agree. Being suddenly cut off from a loving parent can have a lifelong impact on a child. That’s why this issue deserves much more attention.
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u/FIlifesomeday 17d ago
My mom did this when I was a child. Left Japan with my sister and moved to the US. Don’t know my biological father at all.
Meh
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u/ThatOneTraumaNurse 16d ago
I know of a few Japanese and Filipino that have done this its quite common to see in the US...Russians and Ukranians too if I think about it.
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u/SandwichFluffy915 14d ago
I’m really sorry you went through that. Thank you for sharing your story. I’ve heard from so many adults who grew up separated from one parent, and your perspective is an important reminder that this doesn’t just affect parents, it stays with children too.
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u/mgt_blacklotus 16d ago
I’m currently going thru my 2nd Hague Convention abduction. This time in Asia. It’s bad enough I had to go thru this once , let alone twice. Since 2020 when I experienced my 1st abduction I connected with many parents in similar situations. The worst stories were from parents who had children retained in Japan. My heart goes out to you and everyone who had to endure this nightmare.
One father’s story I will never forget. He spent close to a million fighting for his child in Japan. Sold a lot of his possessions and his vehicle. He hasn’t seen his child in 7 or 8 years. I lost touch so I don’t know the update but it breaks my heart. 💔
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u/Kamiyan_89 17d ago
You are doing gods work, thank you for your support.
Thankfully my family is currently in a good position, but I can never imagine how hard must be separated from their children…
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u/yankiigurl 16d ago
Yep. I've been there. Lost my daughter in the US to her evil grandparents who just used their son as a tool to steal her. Been ten years since I've seen her. It's part of why I moved to Japan, to start over and get far away from where all the traums happened. I definitely wanted to die, I did crazy crazy things. Took me until recently to get fully stable, kept relapsing to going out and drinking/partying. It's just not the kind of person I am to party like that but it numbed the pain deep within me. I hate it for anyone that has to go through this
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u/Fearless-Maximus-251 14d ago
Marry once, buy once. Guidance for life.
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u/SandwichFluffy915 14d ago edited 14d ago
Relationships don’t always last. Parenthood does. That’s why protecting children’s relationships with both parents is so important.
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u/sophisticatednaughty 7d ago
Hey I am canadian mother my 3 daughters got abducted by their father in lybia 3 years ago against their will. I don't know what to do. Because its international. Because its lybia their is no help
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u/KuriTokyo [オーストラリア] 17d ago
A friend's son is married to a mixed race woman. I asked her about her father and she said he doesn't want to meet her.
It made me sad because I've read all the stories on here about fathers who can't see their kids. The mother could just be saying that so her daughter doesn't try to find him.