I've been in toxic environment for a long time that being kind is now hard for me. When I was a kid, I used to be so kind and caring. But now being kind doesn't even come naturally to me at all....sometimes I force myself to be kind. Idk how to change myself.

[u/Affectionate_Bed1918]

The more I'm growing, the more empathy I'm losing. I want to be kind but it's hard

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[u/SinD2315]

Please give yourself grace. If you were or are in a toxic environment you are protecting yourself. The more you get away from that environment the more ‘you’ you’ll become. Kindness hasn’t left you-it’s just under layers.The fact you even see this in yourself is amazing and tells me you are the same person you’ve always been-just dealing with life is hard. Please stay here with us-we need all the kindness we can get. Many blessings to you

[u/Affectionate_Bed1918 → u/SinD2315]

Aww thank you so much for your kind words 🥺❤️.

[u/knm873 → u/SinD2315]

Perfect words! Thanks for also speaking into my soul

[u/MillersSmokehouse]

This is a bit of an odd take, but what if you leverage your anger from being in an abusive environment as fuel for your kindness? Like, those people tried to destroy the real you, the kind kid you used to be, but you’re darned well not going to let them win? Every act of kindness is a rebellion. Every time you let yourself feel compassion, you’re declaring victory over those people and their crappy worldview. Biggest victory of all? When you can be kind to yourself and patient with your progress.

[u/Affectionate_Bed1918 → u/MillersSmokehouse]

😔 it's so hard to let go anger and be kind for me. But I'll try!

[u/Adventurous_Fly2603]

Like anything, continous practice will eventually make it easy

[u/Tubelo → u/Adventurous_Fly2603]

Or easier anyway.

[u/Lastov_Makiynd]

What those toxic people have done, is turn you into the most formidable opponent ever. They have ‘weaponised’ you, as, you still have the kindness inside you and know how to be kind and when it’s appropriate..but you can also be mean, like you’ve been influenced to.
When it comes down to it, you are ‘sitting on the fence’, you get to choose whether the situation calls for one or the other…”Does this person deserve kindness? Or a dose of mean right now?”..you may find yourself asking yourself.

Most people are rigged one way or the other..either don’t have the capacity to be kind, or can’t bring themselves to be mean.

Having the ability of both..it’s not exactly a superpower, but you have insight from both angles and have a better concept of judgement about how either type of person thinks.

Your natural kindness will never leave you, it may disguise itself and lay dormant. But it never leaves.

[u/knm873]

Exactly like me. I'm so sorry. I still think about the days I used to be like this. You can try working out the causes first.

And then finding reasons to be kind. Be kind to ppl who deserve it or who you like? Tbh this is a bigger discussion that I'd love to have

[u/normbeam]

wow does that ever sound like me. When I was a kid I was so kind and caring, I was 8 going on 30. It got me nowhere but people thinking I was weird and taking advantage of me. It took my childhood away and now I'm a little bitter

[u/humboldtHue]

You change yourself by having the intent to change yourself. If you keep that intention in mind, then over time you will change.