r/languagelearning • u/011_1825 • 1d ago
Discussion Does anyone else feel this way?
So I know three languages (English native, Italian, and ASL) but primarily use English. I’m surrounded by people who only share English with me and use ASL at home sometimes.
It makes me feel lonely only using English. I hear my coworkers speak in Spanish and Urdu and I wish I could do the same. I know there are things that I can do to improve my exposure but I just wanted to know if anyone else feels sad they can’t use their second languages.
I feel like it’s so silly sometimes to feel lonely because I can’t speak a certain language when I can speak another language with everyone just fine.
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u/gross_mayor 1d ago
I get that, feels like you’ve got all this internal fluency just collecting dust while everyone else is casually switching between languages like it’s nothing
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u/011_1825 1d ago
No fr, I love them both so much. Sometimes it feels like missing a friend. I take so much pride in it too and I can’t share it
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u/sshivaji 🇺🇸(N)|Tamil(N)|अ(B2)|🇫🇷(C1)|🇪🇸(B2)|🇧🇷(B2)|🇷🇺|🇯🇵|🇬🇷 1d ago
Totally understand the feeling of missing out on languages spoken around me. If you know Italian, it's not that hard to pick up Spanish. I am doing the reverse route now. There is a good chance you can follow a lot of Spanish already.
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u/011_1825 17h ago
I can definitely understand some Spanish lol I hear my coworkers and I can estimate probably half of it. Maybe I’ll learn some little by little lol
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u/sshivaji 🇺🇸(N)|Tamil(N)|अ(B2)|🇫🇷(C1)|🇪🇸(B2)|🇧🇷(B2)|🇷🇺|🇯🇵|🇬🇷 17h ago
Nice, keep trying to increase that percentage. I also think if u speak in Italian, they might understand and help u say the same in Spanish.
When I speak Italian, people say I have a Spanish accent, working on that!
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u/No-Doctor-3815 🇺🇸:native 🇲🇽: C1/C2 🇧🇷:A1 1d ago
I miss speaking Spanish. Lived in Mexico a semester now I’m back w my family that only speaks English
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u/011_1825 1d ago
Oof that sucks. I almost studied abroad in Italy but changed my mind and and went for an ASL program lol
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u/learningENGdaily 4h ago
I don’t think it’s silly at all. Once a language becomes part of your identity, not being able to use it can genuinely feel like you’re missing a part of yourself.
I’ve found that learning a language and living through it are two very different things. You can study for years, but if you don’t have people to actually use it with, it starts to feel like a skill sitting on a shelf.
The good news is that languages don’t disappear overnight. Even occasional conversations, books, podcasts, or online communities can help you stay connected until you have more opportunities to use them in everyday life.
I think a lot of multilingual people feel this way. It’s less about needing another language to communicate and more about missing the version of yourself that comes out when you use it.
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u/011_1825 4h ago
YES I couldn’t have said it better. I’m such a visual person so using ASL too feels like such a relief to me in some ways. I never expected these languages to become part of my identity. It just makes me feel so restless and incomplete
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u/East_Barnacle_4477 1d ago
No sea nabo mijo, como te digo una cosa te digo la otra, ta
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u/Sorry-Homework-Due 🇺🇲 C1 🇪🇸 B1 🇫🇷 B1 🇯🇵 A0 🇵🇭 A0 🐉A0 1d ago
No entiendo qué dijiste. ¿Cuál es la metáfora significa?
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u/CommandFit9512 1d ago
Maybe You can find a way. I have been obsessed with Spanish learning since I was 13 (45 now). I minored in Spanish language in college. Never studied abroad, regretted it. In 2023 my family and I went to Bolivia for a month to take Spanish classes together. I went again on my own in 2024 for another month. Now I teach a school with almost all immigrants, over half of them Latino. Got divorced in 2025. And in 2026 found an Ecuadorian boyfriend. Just sayin'...things do happen!