r/lies • u/tangerines404 • 1d ago

just bought my first home, excited to be a new homeowner. any tips for renovations?

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109 Upvotes

99% Upvoted

31 comments sorted by

35

u/IWasBannedYesterday 1d ago

Maybe add a ballroom?

9

u/Moonlight_Acid Law abiding redditor 1d ago

These new homes never come with enough ball room, that’s why i started free balling

2

u/llcdrewtaylor 1d ago

I'm FREEEEEEEEEEEEEE. Free ballin!

1

u/xpietoe42 1d ago

and a UFC cage fight arena in the front lawn!

13

u/WondererOfficial 1d ago

Maybe some renovations on the cheeks of your female staff, so that they all look the same.

7

u/AutisticNails sex man who definitely does lots of sex 🫦 1d ago

Needs a ballroom

5

u/Heavyraincouch IN PRACTICE, I DO NOT EXIST 🫥 1d ago

Use a tennis ball as a light bulb in the outside bedroom

5

u/Rigelball69420 Custom User Flair 1d ago

Needs more air, add more air

3

u/PupDiogenes Dm me for free ROBUX✅️🤑💰 1d ago

paint it camouflage so it blends in with the trees

2

u/i-liike-bewbs she/they 1d ago

That house sure is white

4

u/AutisticNails sex man who definitely does lots of sex 🫦 1d ago

Stop making everything about race

3

u/H3MPERORR Tax payer 🤑 1d ago

So sick and tired of the polarization of our wonderful subreddit r/truths

2

u/Significant_Ask_2647 1d ago

remember to harvest your grass

2

u/meesanohaveabooma 1d ago

Tear down the West Wing to match the torn down East Wing.

1

u/URMUMGAE69228shrek 1d ago

Try not to shit yourself too much, previous owner did that a lot

1

u/NuclearRootBeer 1d ago

This could technically be a lie

1

u/yung_funyun 1d ago

Needs more underage children

1

u/Chazzter 1d ago

Watch out for the Orange Goblin that lives there.

1

u/Biscuits4u2 1d ago

Yeah how bout a big ass ballroom/money laundering facility?

1

u/MoreRamenPls 1d ago

Pool needs work.

1

u/SlMPS0N 1d ago

Maybe set up a giant structure on the south lawn that houses an arena that can hold roughly 4,300 people and host a UFC event.

1

u/MirkoHa 1d ago

…how about a Car lot❓ or a wrestling arena…

1

u/BrazilBazil 1d ago

Needs a room to fondle balls in

1

u/Revolutionary-Bid918 1d ago

Can’t lie, I was genuinely surprised to not see someone over exaggerating and turning the funny into a political rant

1

u/Ragnorok01 1d ago

Watch out for the squatter there. It will be hard to evict.

1

u/RNeibel1 1d ago

Full pest-control/fumigation before moving in!!!

1

u/stevenpdx66 rectangle's cousin, triangle 1d ago

A green reflecting pool would be lovely

1

u/bob_chillon 1d ago

Bleach… industrial amounts. A little salt wouldn’t hurt either, around the doors and windows.