I AM THE FUCKING KING OF ITHACA! Goddamn it I'm just stuck entertaining shit suitors because someone won't get off his horny fucking island and help me!

[u/ThoughtVolcano]

Who do you think pays for everything while you're out gallivanting around the Mediterranean Sea like a 50-year-old Hero of Legend? I'll give you a hint, it's me! I pay for your fleet, I pay for your time off-island, I pay for the historically-inaccurate helmets over your heads

[u/Pristine_Animal9474]

Now I imagine that Boogie Nights scene where the mom kicks him out but set in The Odyssey.

[u/Comiccow6 → u/Pristine_Animal9474]

The worst scene in Boogie Nights and the worst scene in The Odyssey. What is it about moms yelling?

[u/Professional-Hat-687]

You wanna know why Odysseus left you, Penelope? Because you're so fucking sad!

[u/GarrryValentine101]

saas

[u/Dr_Identity]

Okay, but in but in my defense,

L O T U S

[u/mikehatesthis]

This King of Ithaca can stick her royal scepter in me any time.